Logia Luffy: Yami edition
by Wolvenstrom
Summary: First in a hopeful series of 'different devil fruit Luffy' stories. A little mix up in produce results in a traiterous man with a mouth full of rubber, and a happy go lucky boy with a darker edge to him. Possibly Luffy/Boa
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

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Disclaimer: Don't own one piece

This was it. Countless years of patience had finally paid off.

Marshal D. Teach stared down at the Yami yami no mi, clenching his jaw and licking his lips in anticipation of the power he was about to gain (and bracing himself for the horrible taste he'd heard all these fruit have).

For decades he had been a part of the White Beard pirates. The fiercest pirate crew still alive on any of the oceons. Fighting along side the 4th division of the vast outlaw armada against monsters, marines and other pirates under the guise of loyalty to a relic who couldn't admit his time has log since past. When in reality it was all for this single piece of ugly fruit in his hand.

Of course it wasn't ordinary fruit. He didn't just snap commander Thatch's neck like a cracker just for an apple or an orange. This was a devil fruit, a cursed fruit which in exchange for his ability to swim would grant him great power. It wasn't just any fruit either, it was the Yami Yami fruit. The greatest of the logia. This fruit gave the user the power to negate both fruit and ll other powers. No one would be able to stop him!

"COMMANDER THATCH!!!"

Blackbeard twisted his head to face the door he never bothered closing. Several other members of the division were standing in the doorway with others behind them. Each with rage and confusion etched on their faces.

"Teach, What have you done?" The lead one growled out.

"ZEHAHAHAHA!!! What does it look like I've done. I've gotten rid of what was keeping me from ultimate power." Bleakbeard sneered, he opened his dentists nightmare of a mouth and to the hover of everyone watching bit down on the powerful fruit.

"BLECH!! Damn that's foul!" He moaned, but swallowed the fruit that tasted not unlike a mix of caster oil, vomit and rancid meat.

As soon as he did he could feel the effects start to kick in. His body was changing in ways that by all means should be impossible. Filling him with power enough to become pirate king.

"ZEHAHA!! At last, he power is mine!" He gave a crocked grin to the assembled pirates, who now looked slightly fearful at the power this lunatic might now possess.

"Time to test it out." He extended his hand towards the nearest of his now former crew-mates. "BLACK HOLE!!!"

….....the crew member who had tensed out relaxed considerably when nothing happened.

Blackbeards brow knit together in confusion, he looked at the palm of his hand. Then thrust it out again. "BLACK HOLE!!!"

Nothing.

He looked back down, slightly nervous. "Why isn't it working?"

To answer his question was the sound of guns being cocked and swords being drawn. The pirates who had just moments ago looked fearful now returned to looking murderous.

Bleackbeard just stared at them for a moment. "Probably takes longer to kick in than what I read about. Ah well." He muttered to himself before rolling up his sleeves and grinning at the crew. "Guess I'll just take you out the old fashioned way."

* * *

-On deck-

***BOOM***

The whole ship shook as a crewman was launched up from below deck, flying over the crows nest and into the ocean.

Teach leapt out of the hole himself, a pirates head in each hand that he was slowly crushing the life out of.

"Weird. I ain't never been that good a jumper before." He commented at his rather astounding leap considering his size.

He looked around. The crew on deck had already drawn their weapons, and the ones he hadn't taken out from below were already rushing up and forming a tight knit circle around him.

"ZEHAHA. You think you can take me? Idiots. With the power of the Yami yami no mai I can beat you without breaking a sweat."

"The only idiot here is you Teach." A voice called from behind him right before a scorching hot fist was rammed into his face.

"AAAGGGHHH. HOT, hot hot!" In truth it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. Not many could have their facial hair set on fire and not feel a little pain.

Standing over him was a relativly new member of the WhiteBeard armada. Decked out in only a pair of black pants and a wide rimmed hat was 2nd division commander Ace 'Fire fist' Portgas. His fist outstretched where Marshel's jaw had just been was coated in flame thanks to his 'Mera Mera no mai' power over flame.

"How dare you. How dare you betray you're own Nakama like this. This is grounds for execution Teach." The other crew members backed of at the dull and neutral tone in the normally energetic voice.

Blackbeard slowly stood up, running his palms over where had once been the stubble of his namesake. Now only a charred and hairless surface.

"How dare I? How dare you! What the hell are people supposed to call me now?!"

Aces eyes narrowed. "You really don't get it do you Teach. Let me spell it out."

The crew of the 4th division jumped back as the and commander suddenly burst into flames. His very body actually merging with and 'becoming' the flames which danced menacingly in the wind.

"Your a dead man!"

Teach backed up a few steps. While he was hardly scared of anything. It would be a really good time for those powers to kick in now.

"Ya think I'm scared of you? Zehahaha, I've just been stalling for my new Yami yami fruit powers to kick in. Now it's YOU fire fist whose a dead man!"

Ace tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Yami Yami?"

"Yeah! One touch and your fire powers are worthless!!!" Blackbeard concentrated, preparing to end all this in one fatal strike. "Now, come here." He threw his arm back at shot it forward.

Forward.

Forward.

Wwaayyyy forward.

Marshall D Teach, along with the rest of his crew had their eyes bulging and their mouths hanging loose as his arm 'stretched' across the deck and 'through' the firey logia user before hitting a crewman behind him hard enough to send him flying into the distance.

Blackbeard screamed as the flaming arm retracted itself, it too was now badly burned. Biting back anymore yelps he stared at his arm in confusion.

"This isn't the yami fruit power. This isn't even Logia!" He said through gritted teeth. "But the book said...."

He didn't get a chance to finish as a fireball soon engulfed his face again. Courtesy of a flaming boot to the face. He shouted out in pain at the fire right before his face with driven into the remaining intact part of the deck. It didn't hurt since he was now made of rubber and could withstand blunt strikes, but Ace then chose to take a seat on his broad back.

Firefist reached down and pulled the book from the traitors scorched fingers, making sure not to set the book on fire he looked at it.

'Encyclopedia Akuma no mai' By Doc Vegapunk.

He skimmed through it. It was quite an old book, quite a while before the good doctor must have allied with the marines. It wasn't the thickest book in the world but it contained detailed descriptions on over a hundred devil fruit with at least three to a page. It wasn't til he got to the end that he spotted the name of the fruit whitebeard wanted so much.

"Yami yami no mai." He mumbled. "This isn't right, that isn't what I was told it...Mmmm what if.....let's check mine....HA!!!"

"Grr whats so funny you little....AGH!!" Teach growled. Trying to get up but sent back down before Ace flared his powers.

Ace got of the guys back and crouched to met his face. Snapping his fingers before hand to have the crew press their swords to Teachs still lade vulnerable back. "Hey Nobeard. Wanna know something.

Blackbeard glared at him for the nickname but said nothing. Ace opened the book to a page and pointed to a fruit.

"See this."

Blackbeard nodded slightly. "Yeah. So what? Thats yer damn Mera Mera fruit."

"Actually, it isn't."

"…....Huh?"

Ace grinned wickedly. "It isn't the Mera Mera fruit. In fact, theirs hardly a right match up between picture and description. You've got a misprinted book!"

The crews laughter only increased the dread that the former blackbeard was feeling. No! It couldn't be!

Laughing along with the crew Ace flipped through the book, trying to match Teach's powers to a name. He found one in the Paramecia section.

"Heres your power Teach. The gumo gumo fruit with a picture of the Yami Yami fruit." Ace showed the horrified fat man a picture of a purple bunch of grapes looking fruit.

20 years, 20 years on board this damn ship. 2 decades of following that old fossils every command, of risking life and limb, and for what? So he can be a human condom joke? Half his life. His life. WASTED!!!!!! If this wasn't the Yami yami fruit then, where was it?

The man formally known as Blackbeard in one last rage filed act yelled up towards the heavens.

"WHERE'S MY DEVIL FRUIT!!!!!!!

* * *

Some time before

A boy lay asleep in a dinghy which bobbed gently on the waves. His straw hat over his eyes to prevent sunburn. As if he forgot that couldn't happen.

The boy was dressed in a red vest, blue jean shorts and open toed sandals to go with his hat. He looked more like a fisher than what he dreamed of becoming.

***SPLASH***

"RRRAAAGGGHHH!!!"

The water surface erupted as a sea king, a massive eel burst from the ocean. Eying the boy like a bite sized snack

The boy, having been woken up from the sea kings roar, blinked away the sleep and confusion before glaring up at the creature that disturbed his nap. "Oh it's you."

The beast lunged for him, fangs prepped to bite him in two.

The boy raised his arms to a parallel position in response. "YAMI YAMI ABSORBTION!!!"

A swirling vortex of darkness appeared in front of him, pulling water, air, even the sea king towards him like a magnet. Now while it may be a bad idea for a normal person to draw a creature with teeth like swords towards you. The boy was not an ordinary person. Everything that pulled towards the vortex was sucked into it, including the massive beast who was gone in an instant.

The vortext vanished in an instant. Leaving the boy standing still on his boat for a few instant's as a dark aura covered him and slowly began to rise towards the sky. Then he threw his arms over his head and shouted "YAMI YAMI RELEASE!!!"

The dark aura exploded outwards as everything that had been absorbed was released. Including a seaking that looked like it had it's fair share of injuries and broken bones. It landed on the sea where it bobbed up and down on the surface, unconscious.

Monkey D Luffy eyed the creature, hunger evident in his eyes. "Lunch!"

So began the first day of Money D Luffy's career as a pirate, and the first page in the legend of the great Straw hat pirates. Or as many would call it...

...the tale of the black emporer.

* * *

End

What do you think? They're aren't that many 'Luffy ate a different fruit' stories so I thought I might as well right one.

Don't expect to frequent an update. I'm quite busy most of the week. If someone wants to co-author that'd be great. Or someone wants to start one of their own be my guest, that was the point.

If someones gonna complain about the names of Luffy's attacks consider this. The names Blackbeard gave his attacks don't seem like something Luffy would call them. So I renamed them as something he would say. 'Yami yami absorption' is 'Black hole', and 'Yami yami release' is 'liberation'.

The nickname for Luffy was originally the 'dark king', but someone reminded me that was Reyleigh's nick name so I had to change it. Something to do with darkness without being too complicated and not referencing shadows.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I don't own One piece

* * *

Before we go forward we have to have been some place to go forward from. So before we move onto the next part of Luffy's journey. Let us see how it is that Luffy came into his powers in the first place.

* * *

Ten years ago- Fuschia village

"Oy Luffy. What are you doing this time!?" A red haired man called to a young boy who happened to be standing on the head of his ship.

Luffy at age 7 looked no different than any other boy his age. A runty little twerp with eyes bigger than his brain, and a mouth bigger than his eyes seeing how his teeth were big enough right now to bite a mans head off the way he was showing them. He was dressed in drawstring shorts, a plain pair of sandals that you would swear he would never get rid of, and a white T-shirt bearing both a picture of an anchor and the word right across his chest. A little present from the crew whose ship he stood on after his repeated failed attempts at swimming.

"I'm sick of you guy's not taking me seriously. This time I'm gonna prove myself to you guy's and show you how tough I am!!!" He declared loudly while waving about a dagger.

"Ha ha." Laughed the red haired man. "Hurry up and do it then, Whatever it is."

In retrospect maybe telling a little boy holding a knife to go through with whatever he planned wasn't the best idea. Although it looked more likely that he was gonna try attacking one of them. Stabbing himself in the face was certainly not what anyone thought he'd do.

"YEOUCH!!!"

"You idiot!"

"I can't believe he did that!"

"It hurts!"

"Of course it hurts you little...."

* * *

"A toast to Luffy's courage!"

"And our next great voyage!"

"CHEERS!!!"

The thing about pirates is that they'll find any excuse to drink. Find treasure, they'll drink to that. Winning a climactic battle against the marines, they'll drink to that. A Little boy stabs himself to please them, of course they'll drink to that!

They'll even drink when they don't have an excuse. In fact when that happens they'll say they're celebrating that for once they don't have an excuse to drink

The tavern was in full swing, pirates from wall to wall drank and sang and danced merrily to sea chanty's.

The boy that they where celebrating was sitting at the bar along side their captain, Tucking into a full steak dinner like the mans own. Completely at ease despite being surrounded by blighters and rogues. Proudly showing off the stitch up scar beneath his eye.

"Didn't hurt a bit." He said while tears continued to pour from his eyes.

"Liar! That was a stupid thing to do!" Snapped the pirate captain feared by all under the moniker 'Red Haired Shanks'. The man looked as much a pirate as the boy would one day look. An unbuttoned white shirt held closed by a red sash around the waist, dark three quarter length pants, sandals naturally and a familiar straw hat.

Aside from the sash he looked nothing like what people thought of when picturing a pirate.

Luffy puffed up his chest. "So what? I'm not scared of getting hurt! So that means you can take me on your next voyage!" He crowed happily.

The tavern shook as the collected pirates laughed at the boy.

"Impossible." Said Shanks between laughs. "We got you that shirt for a reason boy."

"Humph. So what? I just won't fall over then!" The boy declared loudly. "Besides Grandpa Garp has been training me. So now my punch is like a pistol!"

Shanks had to give the boy that. He'd been Gol D Rogers cabin boy in his earlier years, and had the misfortune on meeting the legendary Monkey D Garp. He'd have been surprised if the boy 'hadn't ' gotten stronger under the old monkeys rumored torturous methods.

Course he couldn't tell the boy that.

"That so." He said with an extremely apathetic look.

If looks could kill Shanks'd be a smoldering pile of ash.

"Aww come one cap'n. Let's just take the kid once."

"Yeah. A short one wouldn't do any harm."

Shanks didn't even bother turning around. "Alright. But one of you will have to stay behind."

"........Sorry kid." The pirates went back to their merriment much to the boys irritation.

"Traitors!"

"Ha ha. Sorry Luffy but your just too young. I wasn't even allowed near a ship til I was about 17."

Luffy just glowered at the man. Not wanting to be made to feel dumber than the scared man was making him feel.

"Luffy." A voice called to him from across the room.

Luffy turned to face Shank's first mate. Ben Beckham, a man who exuded cool like a glacier. Sitting at his table drinking while never letting the longer than normal cigarette fall from his mouth.

"Don't worry about what the captain says. He just doesn't want you to get hurt out on the sea, especially since you can't swim."

"Yeah right. He just likes making fun of me!"

Beckham shook his head. "No Luffy. It's the captain's job to have everyones safety in mind. He's responsible for everyone on the ship. The sea can kill you in a thousand different ways. He doesn't want you to give up. He just doesn't want to have to watch out for you along with the crew."

"Hey anchor!" Shanks shouted out to Luffy.

'Then again the kid may have a point.' Thought Ben.

Then, for a reason that's not just the author wanting to move on with the story and not just copy down great chunks of the manga, the tavern door slammed open courtesy of a large boot.

A tall and lanky man walked in. Each step slow and deliberate. His manner of dress was a contradiction onto itself. He wore a long and expensive looking jacket with a pattern down one side, Strong looking boots and a samurai top knot for his hair, however he looked like he hadn't bathed in a while, his hair not done in the knot was unkempt, his shirt was half tucked and the look on his face just screamed filth.

He marched up to the counter, a contingent of unremarkable fellows behind him wearing bandannas and carrying swords.

"Hi-Higumi." Stuttered Makino the tavern owner.

"Relax, my bandits aren't here to pick a fight." The man said through yellow teeth. "Just sell us 10 barrels of grog and we promise we'll leave most of the place intact.

"S-sorry, fresh out." She said. It wasn't that she was scared of him, but she had to act like she was so he wouldn't cause problems in the future. While she could trust the pirates not to get into a fight, these bandits were a different kind of criminal altogether. These were the scum below scum who hide the fact they were to scared and weak to head out to sea with ego and excessive violence. One wrong move and these guys would start a fight just to keep fear of them alive.

Meanwhile Luffy had quite lost interest in the chattering of adults, this Higumi guy wasn't nearly as scary as Makino seemed to think he was. So while the attention of everyone was on the counter Luffy looked about the room for something sweet to eat. Couldn't have a big meal without something for dessert after all. Maybe their was something good in that little chest the crew brought in?

Higumi looked over to the pirates then back to her. "Then what are they drinking? Fruit juice?" He sneered.

"I just served them the last of it." 'Go away, go away, go away.'

"Sorry about that mate." Shanks interjected. "Guess my crew drank all the liquor. Here ya go." He lifted up a bottle he hadn't inhaled yet.

Higumi looked at the bottle, then with one jarring move threw his fist out and shattered the bottle, sending glass and alcohol into Shank's face.

The entire room grew quiet, save for the sounds of some munching followed by gagging.

"You think I'm an idiot?! One bottle of grog isn't enough for me let alone my men." Higumi said in a raised voice. Trying his best to stay cool. He pulled a slip of paper out of his jacket and waved in in front of Shanks face.

"See this? This is a wanted poster for your's truly. They don't just put an 8 million Beri bounty on anyone. I killed 56 fools just like you to get it." He looked down at Shanks who had already started crouching to the floor. "If I were you I'd leave this town to me and never come back. That is if you like breathing."

His anger at the straw hatted man was not lessoned any when Shanks seemed to have ignored his little speech in favour of offering to clean up the mess Higumi made. To which the mountain bandit responded by taking out his sword and sweeping it across the counter, smashing the mostly empty bottles and covering Shanks in even more booze and glass shards.

Looking down at the man in disgust Higumi snorted. Turning towards the door and signaling his minions to follow. "Farewell cowards." He said in a condescending tone before having the door slam behind them, leaving a silent pub behind them.

Makino knelt down and asked if Shanks was okay. To which the man waved his hand. "I'm fine."

The tense silence ended as the crew once more burst into merry laughter."He got you good cap'n."

"Ha ha. Yeah he did didn't he."

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY!!!"

The laughter stopped as everyone turned to a very angry little boy. Glaring daggers as usual at Shanks

"WHAT WAS THAT?! YOUR JUST GONNA LET HIM GET AWAY WITH DOING THAT TO YOU?! A REAL MAN FIGHTS NO MATTER WHAT!! HE DOESN'T JUST LET HIMSELF GET BEAT UP AND THEN LAUGHS ABOUT IT!!!"

Shanks looked at the little boy for a moment. Sighing before flashing him a smile. "Violence isn't always the answer Luffy. You'll understand when your older.

You could hear the last fragile thread of Luffy's faith in Shanks breaking with an audible ***Twang***

The boy snorted then turned to the door. Making loud deliberate stomps as he went.

"Oy, where are you going?" The red haired captain said while reaching for Luffy's arm.

"I'm gonna go find a better role model!" He barked out.

Shanks smiled and grabbed the boy's arm to pull him back, or he would have if the boy hadn't started dragging him along like he wasn't there.

The rest of the crew's eyes popped out of their heads at the site of their captain being dragged across the floor by a little boy, seemingly unable to let go.

"Boy's help!" He called out.

They needed no further prompting. Two men grabbed Shank's legs while two more grabbed his middle and with an almighty heave pulled their captain back.

The men were sent hurtling back into the bar as their captain came loose from the little boy, a trail of inky blackness coming following his hand from the boy's arm.

"What was that?" One pirate called out.

"Blackness from his arm." Called out another.

"Whats wrong with me!?" Screamed Luffy.

Shanks dis tangled himself from his fallen crewmen, one out cold after his head hit the bar.

'I couldn't let go. It wasn't stuck like glue, but like I was been pulled towards him, into that blackness....' "Oh no. Lucky check the chest!!!"

Lucky Roo, the portly member of his crew grabbed the chest sitting on one of the tables. Fining with horror that it was distinctly lacking contents.

"It's gone cap'n. The Yami Yami no mai we took from the enemy ship isn't here."

"WHAT!?!" Was everyone else's resounding cry.

"Luffy! You didn't eat this did you." Lucky pointed to a picture of an ugly bunch of grapes in a book.

"Yeah. I ate that for dessert. Tasted really bad though." The boy said and stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Suddenly he found himself being shaken back and forth by Shanks who was showing a rare display of anger.

"That was the Yami Yami fruit!!" The man shouted right in the boy's face. "Anyone who eats a devil fruit has the sea turn against them. You might have gotten a lot of power but now you'll 'never ' be able to swim for the rest of your life!!!"

"WWWHHHAAATTT!!!"

"YOU IDIOT!!!"

* * *

Luffy was once more seated in Makino's bar. The place had only a while ago had been jumping off it's foundations with commotion was silent, the merrymakers that had once occupied it vacant save for the bartender and the devil powered boy balancing a glass between his teeth.

"They've been gone for quite some time Luffy. Don't you miss them at all?" Said Makino, hoping the boy wasn't to disappointed in Shanks.

"No way! I thought they were tough, but they just let that stupid bandit walk all over them. They're nothing but wimps!"

"Now Luffy. You know sometimes it's braver for someone not to fight." Retorted the young woman.

"Tch. Yeah right. Your a woman Makino so you wouldn't understand. A real man stands up for himself no matter what."

"Your right. I guess I don't." She decided just to let it go. The boy was just like the rest of his family, stubborn to a fault. Sometimes it felt more like he ate a fruit that made everything just bounce of him rather than draw everything in.

Luffy nodded quickly and went back to his angry moping.

The door opened, this time however it was by way of hand rather than boot. Though it was still the same guy entering now ho did so rudely last time. Higumi.

"Make way for the terror of the highlands!"

The bandit leader walked into the bar, his entourage following close behind. He still moved with the same arrogance as his last visit, if anything he had more now that all he had to convince of his threat was a young woman and a little boy.

The men spread about the room, soon filling it with the same number of men (give or take) as Shank's crew. Higumi took a table all to himself and propped his feet up.

"No pirates today eh? Smells better." He commented. "So what are you waiting for? Where not so brutal that we won't pay, so bring us drinks!!!"

The bandits cheered in agreement.

Makino nodded slowly and started picking up mugs from behind the bar when she saw Luffy getting out of his seat. Glaring at the bandits.

"Luffy, no." She whispered, but it was to late.

* * *

"aaahhh."

The simple joy's in life were truly the best. Who needed the high seas and swashbuckling, rip roaring excitement when a comfy chair and a hot cup of tea worked just as well.

Despite his relativly laid back appearance, Woop Slap, the Mayor of the village was perhaps the most overworked man on the island. After all it was not the simplest of tasks making sure that the world government remained clueless to the pirate crew of the red hairs notoriety who were using his town as a port. Especially since one of those marines higher ups happened to have family here. Not to mention the other mayoral acts that kept this relatively peaceful town running, so it was nice to just sit in his favorite chair every now and then with a drink so he could relax

***SLAM*** "MR MAYOR COME QUICK!!!"

Then again, who needs to relax at his age.

"What is it Makino." He asked, seeing the concerning in her eyes.

"It's Luffy!" She cried. "And those mountain bandits!"

Of course it was.

* * *

"AAGGHH!!!" Cried out a small boy.

"Wow. I didn't do much and he's already cryin'." Said one thug.

"Yeah, don't have ta even try ta beat this kid." Said another.

The problem with the yami yami no mai was that while the eater could absorb anything they wanted, they still gave off a minor gravitational pull, one which drew things toward them. When the bandits were hitting him his body was actually pulling them towards him, and anything already coming towards him to go quicker. The bandits blows for example which were already flying at him were being pulled that much quicker, causing the blows to become stronger. (1)

The streets were barren of residents. Everyone save for the criminals and Luffy were inside, peering out of windows and through keyholes, to scared of joining the boys fate should they interfere in his 'punishment'

"T-take it b-ACK!!!" Luffy shouted as Higumi's boot hit the small of his back.

"Your a little freak you know that?" Said the bandit with a sneer. He'd heard that the brat had eaten a devil fruit, but what idiot would eat one that makes everything hurt more? Ah who cares? "I know an island somewhere were they pay through the nose for fruit eater's to find out what makes em tick. You just might be our ticket to the good life brat."

Luffy didn't listen, he grabbed a large dead branch and charged Higumi for all he was worth. Only for his head to met the pavement when the slovenly bandit stomped down on his face.

"What's your deal anyway. I was just talking to my men and drinking when you started yelling at us. We didn't do anything."

"YES YOU DID!!!" He crowed. "NOW TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID YOU STINKING APES!!!"

Higumi just pressed harder.

"Stop. Please!!!"

Higumi turned to see the mayor and the bartender. Typical, in this whole town the only ones who've ever come close to standing up to him are an old man, a little boy and a woman.

The mayor knelt down and touched his head to the dirt.

"Please. I don't know what the boy did, but I beg you not to hurt him. I can't stop you by force, but I'm the mayor if it's money you want well be happy to give it to you!"

Higumi mulled it over, for about a second.

"Nice try old man. But you know how the world works." He pulled out his sword. "This kid insulted me. So now he's gonna pay the price."

"You deserved it.! You mountain macaque (2)!" Luffy called out while biting back pain from the pressure on his spine.

"I was planning on selling you kid. But now I think I'll just get it over with and kill you." He pointed the blade right at the back of Luffy's head.

"No!"

"Luffy!"

"What about Luffy?" Said a third voice.

Makino and the mayor turned to see Shanks standing right behind them. His crew not far behind him either. This time he was sporting a long jacket draped over his shoulders and a large ornate cutlass.

He strode past the two. Bold as brass facing the supposedly bloodthirsty bandits. "When no one greeted us at the docks, we started to worry. What happened anchor? I thought your punch was as powerful as a pistol?"

"Cap'n Get out of here!!!" The boy shouted.

"Tch. You cowards again? Didn't you learn from last time?"

Shanks took a step forward. Higumi lowered his blade more.

"Up,up up. Come any closer and we'll have to kill you along with the brat."

Shanks ignored him and came closer. One of the nameless bandits pulled a flintlock pistol out of his sash and pointed it at Shanks head at blank range with an audible 'click'.

"You hear him? Go any closer and I'll kill you."

Fear was the furthest thing from Shanks mind at the moment. If anything he looked concerned for the man pointing the gun at his ear.

"Your taking an awful big risk doing that." He said calmly.

"Huh? What are you talking about."

Shanks smiled. "I said it's not safe to point guns."

***BOOM***

To this day nobody who saw it could really tell you what happened. Not sure of it themselves. Whether it be a trick of the eyes, or a devil fruit, or whatever. All they could tell you is this. One second Lucky Roo, the roundest and merriest of Shank's crew was nowhere to be seen, and the next he was right next to Shanks holding a smoking gun while biting into a leg of meat.

The bandit were shocked to see one of their own die so quickly and easily at the hands of what they thought were inferior criminals. That was when the rest of Shank's crew started to come into view from the direction of the port.

"How dare you!"

"What kind of dirty...."

"Save it landlubbers." Stated Beckham "You're not dealing with saint's..."

"...Were pirates! And we don't play by the rules" Finished Shanks.

Okay now they were scared. Before the bandits thought they were dealing with a bunch of wimps. Pushovers who weren't really a threat. It was all to late that they realized that pirates might not be the weaklings they first thought them to be.

"Back off. This doesn't concern you!" Shouted one of the lowly thugs.

"Wrong." Said Shanks. "Listen up. You can pour drinks on me, throw food on me. Hell even spit on me. I'll just laugh it off." His eyes hardened. "But good reason or not. NO-ONE MESSES WITH MY FRIENDS!!!"

"F-friend?" Said Luffy. Who despite the pain could feel himself smiling.

"HAHAHA!!! Don't make me laugh." Higumi said. "You pirates just float about on your little ships. You don't have what it takes to beat mountain bandits." He pointed his sword towards the crew and yelled. "Get them!"

The bandits charged with their swords raised. Their form was sloppy at best. Their sword training no doubt consisting of waving them menacingly to intimidate people on the mountain pass.

***THACK***

This would be another instance of 'what the f**k?' Many people who saw it would still question how Ben Beckham. A man armed with only a musket which he held like a bat was able to knock out eight charging bandits with a single swing and sent them all flying while one rolled about after he'd had a cigarette put out in his eye. Leaving only a horror stricken Higumi to realize what him men had moments ago about these sea fairer

"You wanna fight us? Better bring a battleship." Said Beckham, who was now using his gun as intended at pointed it at the former bandit boss.

This sort of thing had never happened to him before. They were the ones who were supposed to be afraid. Not him! Yet he couldn't deny what he was feeling right now as anything else but fear.

"But. But he started it!" Their was no way that didn't sound childish to anyone, even him.

"Doesn't matter." Replied Shanks. "Your the one with a price on his head right?"

Higumi's hand shot for his pocket, pulling out a small ball and throwing it at the ground. Causing smoke to erupt and blanket the area. They heard a squawk of indigence and a "Come here!" followed by nothing. When the smoke disipaited Higumi and Luffy were gone.

All the cool Shanks displayed up to this point evaporated as he grabbed the sides of his head and paniked. "DAMN! I let him escape! He have to save Luffy!"

"Calm down captain." Said Lucky. "We'll all look for him, theirs is no way he can escape with all of us searching."

"Mmmm. Cap'n..." Said Ben getting an idea.

* * *

"HAHA!! I'm brilliant. Nobody would think to look for a mountain bandit out at sea." Said Higumi through his ill deserved laughter.

"That's cause your to much of a coward to go to sea you jerk!!!" Snarled Luffy. Trying to take swipes at the bandit but failing miserably to do so.

That jab hit a little to close to home for his taste, so with a flick of his arm he threw the child overboard. Watching in delight as the child touched the water.

Luffy was failing for his life. As soon as he touched the water his body began to react strangley. He felt everything start to seize up despite his best efforts to stay afloat.

'No! I can't die yet. I never made him take back badmouthing Shanks!' He thought. Unable to vocalize the words as his mouth was filling with water.

The mountain bandit laughed loud and deep at the boy sinking beneath the water. He didn't hear the water part over his guffaws, nor the steady growling growing behind him. What he did notice was he was now standing in an exceptionally large shadow. He filled with dread as he turned and saw an enormous set of gleeming teeth.

"GYAAAAHHH!" He screamed right as the creatures mouth closed over him. Sealing his fate with a sickening 'KRUNCH'. (3)

A part of Luffy was revealed. Though a much larger part of him was terrified beyond all reason. Partly because he was about to sink to the bottom of the sea, and another part because if he didn't drown first he'd be eaten alive.

The massive eel speed towards him, mouth open ready to swallow the boy in one bite like it did Higumi.

Luffy shut his eyes. Not wanting to see it come.

***Chomp***

The sound of tearing flesh filled his ears. Strange, he didn't 'feel' dead. Or is nothing what you feel when you are dead?

Slowly he opened his eyes. Seeing the sea king with red dripping from its maw but himself unharmed. He was also being held aloft by a familiar man.

"Shanks!"

The man didn't respond. He glared at the sea king. His eyes seeing to pierce through it and fill it's very soul with dread.

"Get out of here." He said in a voice like the grave.

The sea king had never felt this sensation before. Every cell of it's being told it that the creature barely a tenth of it's size was going to kill it. The other parts of it's brain however were screaming out 'food!'. So with supreme effort it started moving forward.

Even though he didn't show it Shanks was confused. The sea king should have turned tail by now. Why would it....Luffy.

The yami no mai could absorb anything, even other fruit powers. It wasn't that much of a stretch that it might at least partially effect other powers like haki. (4)

'Sorry Luffy.' He thought sadly before pushing the boy away from him, causing the dark boy to flail for his life again.

"*Glub* Shanks!"

"Hang on." 'Okay let's try again.' He once more unleashed his Haki at the beast. This time the beast turned tail and swam as fast as it could.

Seeing the beast flee he turned and quickly grabbed the boy he had let go seconds before

"Sorry about that Luffy. Makino told me what happened, how you stood up for me."

Luffy just continued to cry into the mans chest.

"Hey whats with the tears? Your a tough guy remember?"

Luffy looked up at him. Tears and seawater mixing together. "But..Shanks. Wqhat about your arm!"

The now one armed pirate smiled. Seemingly ignorant to his mutilation just smiled and patted the boys head assuringly.

"An arm is a small price to pay. I'm glad your okay."

Thats when the boy really started crying.

* * *

Luffy understood why Shanks wouldn't take him out to sea. The dangers of the sea were to great, and he was not yet strong enough.

But most of all Luffy realized what a great man Shanks truly was. He vowed to be just like him one day.

* * *

"WHAT! You won't be coming back after this voyage!"

Shanks, who was now wearing his jacket at an angel to hide the stump he had now in place of his arm, nodded. "We've used this Harbour as a base for probably too long. Pirates shouldn't stay in one place after all. You sad?"

Luffy sighed but nodded. "Yeah. But I'm not gonna ask you to take me with you."

"That's good, cause your still to little." Shanks teased. This was gonna be the last time he could tease the shrimp for who knows how long so he better get as much out of it as possible. "Theirs no way you could be a pirate!"

What little respect Luffy had gained for the man vanished at that statement. His teeth once more engorging to take up most of his skull he yelled at the man through piano key sized teeth.

"YES I WILL!" Everyone turned to look at the boy. "ONE DAY I''LL HAVE A CREW AND SHIP BETTER THAN YOURS! AND WE'LL HAVE THE BIGGEST TREASURE HOARD IN THE WORLD! EVEN BIGGER THAN ONE PIECE!!!"

"I'M GONNA BE PIRATE KING!!!"

They didn't laugh. Whether it be to humor the boy or for any other reason they just stood there and smiled at him. Except for Lucky who was chomping on his ever present generic meat on a bone.

"Hmmm. So your gonna be better than us huh? Well then..."

He took his straw hat off his head and placed it on Luffy's lowered head.

"...Keep this safe for me okay."

It was a good thing the hat was their. It hid the tears pouring down his face

"That hat's important to me. Make sure to return it someday. When you've become a great pirate."

With that said. Shanks turned from Luffy and headed towards his ship.

"That kids gonna make something of himself some day." Commented Ben as the captain past him.

Shanks agreed. "Yeah. He acts just like me at that age."

* * *

With that Shanks left Fuschia village. Did he ever return? Whose to say. This story isn't about him anyway, it's about Luffy. Whose own adventure started ten years later from the same spot.

* * *

"Well that's him finally gone Mr Mayor. I'll miss that rascal." Said a now adult Makino.

Mayor Woop slap (5) just grumbled. "That boy's gonna be a disgrace if he becomes a pirate."

"I never thought he'd actually do it." Said one villager.

Out in his Dinghy Monkey D Luffy, still as goofy looking as he had been as a child grinned as the gulls flew over head.

"Boy, it sure is a nice day to head out to sea." He quipped. "Now lets see. First things first I'll need a crew. About 10 should do. Then a pirate flag! Or should I get a ship first? Ah well, I'll figure it out later."

"LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME! I'M GONNA BE THE PIRATE KING!!!"

Floating on a small dinghy with no crew, no weapons and no idea where he'd going. Not the smartest way to start a high seas voyage, but they're are worse ways.......

...and when I think of any worse ways I'll let you know.

* * *

End chapter

(1) That's me trying to explain what black beard meant when he said that blows could hurt more than normal if he didn't absorb them. I figured it had something to do with his powers pulling things towards him since the faster somethings moving the bigger the impact when it strikes.

(2) I'm surprised he didn't just call Higumi a monkey. Of course that would be kinda insulting to him

(3) Because poor literacy is 'KEWL'.....I had to say it.

(4) This I'm not so sure about. I mean when you think about it, it's a canceling power vs a canceling power so I had a hard time deciding if Haki effected the Yami no mai powers or not. So I settled for Luffy's powers being able to negate the effects of Haki to a certain degree based on his control and the power of the users Haki. If you have a different opinion I'd be happy to hear it.

(5) fThis was the point were I went onto the one piece encyclopedia to see what his name was, then went back and filled in his name. Allow given it's got to be 'the' stupidest name I have ever heard I'm considering undoing it. I mean seriously 'woop slap'? I thought Ussop was an unusual name, or Luffy or Garp. This though, this takes the cake.

I changed some of the lines just so it wouldn't feel like I was just copying romance dawn while still staying true to the canon. I really didn't see need to change it too much just yet when I looked over how Luffy's powers could effect the story. I also feel kinda iffy about the way I changed Shanks grabbing Luffys arm after he ate the devil fruit but I really couldn't think of much else.

Criticism is appreciated. As long as it's construcive.


	3. Chapter 3: The end

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: If I owned this series I'd be Scrooge Mc'ducking a big pile of money right now.

Chapter 3: The end

* * *

Now that we've gotten the back story out of the way. Let's go to where this story ends.

* * *

"WE FOUND ONE PIECE!!!!!!"

* * *

Okay that was too far ahead. I meant 'this' end.

* * *

It was a beautiful day to go out to sea. The sky was an expanse of endless azure. The sea was sparkling, and Monkey D Luffy was about to die.

"Wow. It sure was a nice day to head out to sea." Mused the straw hatted boy. "Who'd of thought my pirate career would end so soon?"

The massive swirling vortex of death known as a whirlpool was dragging his tiny boat to the bottom of the sea, and him along with it. While most sailors and especially devil fruit users would be panicking, repenting or out and out crying at the moment. Luffy just stood in his boat stroking his chin like this was nothing but a minor inconvenience.

"Mmm, no-one around. And I can't swim...oh wait! It's a whirlpool so it doesn't really matter if I can swim or not."

The boat was dragged down seconds later. Leaving nothing but a few splintered pieces of wood to float on the surface.

* * *

Floating beside a small uncharted island was perhaps one of the strangest ships even seen on the east blue. While most pirate ships go out of the way to look threatening and intimidating. Such as regal colour schemes, frightening or beautiful figure heads and fearful Jolly rogers. This one looked, whats the word? Cutesy?

It was pink, a skull with a heart on it for the flag and a swan with heart shaped eyes for a figure head.

I'll say it again. A duck...with hearts...for eyes. Think about that for a while.

A long, thin finger with razor sharp nails slowly dragged across the bulwark. Men around the owner of the finger stood stock still in fear. The finger lifted, showing the smallest traces of dust.

The men's looks of fear magnified as their captain turned to face the man responsible for this part of the ship.

"Why is their dust on my bulwark." She spoke with a voice like a broken record of a cat screaming.

The crewman jarred back, waving his arms in a warding gesture. "A thousand parsons Lady Alvida. I thought I'd cleaned every part of the ship. Please, let me clean everything again. Just don't..."

***WONK***

"I don't accept apologies. If you can't do it right the first time then what good are you!?" She growled down at the ex member of her crew with a sneer. Blood spreading out onto the deck. "Their's blood on my clean deck."

"YES LADY ALVIDA!!!" The rest cried. Grabbing the body and tossing it overboard before grabbing mops and buckets to take care of the mess.

"KOBY!" She shouted. At once a small boy who would not possibly be a pirate appeared next to her in a flash with a shammy and polish in hand. He had pink hair done in a bob cut and thick glasses. A white shirt with stripes on the arms and a pair of black pants and shoes, he looked the furthest thing from a pirate as you could be.

"Tell me. Who is the most be-U-tifal woman through out the 5 seas." It wasn't a question. (1)

'Boa Hancock. Princess Vivi of Alabasta, the mermaid princess, anyone who isn't you.' "You are Lady Alvida." The boy said cautiously.

"Correct! Which means I will not tolerate even the tiniest speck of filth on my ship. This ship must be as beautiful as I! Understand?" She said.

'Lady. If this ship was as beautiful as you then it'd be at the bottom of the ocean and covered in algae.' "Of course lady Alvida!"

She walked over to him, pointing to the deck indicating she wanted him to kneel, which he did so regretfully, her vast shadow eclipsing the sun from him entirely. He poured the polish into the cloth and started shining her impeccable shoes.

"If it wasn't for you knowledge of the ocean boy I wouldn't have thought twice about throwing you overboard. Otherwise, your useless!" She yelled before bringing her foot back up and stomping on the boy's head. Making him to yelp in pain.

She turned and started barking out orders. "The rest of you get to work. I don't want as much as one single speck of dirt on this ship!"

"YES LADY ALVIDA!!!" They cried before getting to work

Despite her boasting Alvida was not quite attractive as she'd like to believe. In fact she was probably the furthest thing from attractive as you could get without being a different species. She was fat to the point of obese, only with thin and stubby arm's and legs poking out from the sides. Long frizzy hair that not even the revolutionary Inuzumi could style even with those giant scissor hands. To hide it she wore a white cowboy hat. A checkered pink blouse tied with a red sash and a blue captain's jacket. On her unrealistically long and thin fingers were multi coloured gemstone rings. A symbol of her 'great beauty'.

Of course the real secret to her beauty rested on her shoulders. A massive spiked iron club, powerful enough to kill a man with one swing even if Alvida's great strength wasn't behind it.

She looked down at Koby who was still shining her other shoe. "That's enough You stupid worm!" She kicked him in the face making him reel back.

While he wanted to cry out in pain, he knew better than to whine and complain. "Heh heh. Sorry Lady Alvida."

"Funny is it? Well if you've got time to laugh then you have time to scrub toilets."

He smiled "Yes milady." She glared at him then turned away, not seeing his smile slip off his face and fall into a defeated expression. "Right away."

* * *

Back on the island that acted as Alvida's base was two buildings, one was the storehouse for supplies and the other for loot. Unfortunately these places also had bathrooms which Koby had to clean. On his way to the loot storehouse he heard a 'clunking' coming from the rocky shore side. Walking over he spotted a rum barrel just floating in the ocean.

'Lady Alvida wouldn't want litter around her ship.' He thought. He reached down and grabbed one of the barrels sides and started rolling it along the rocks til it got to the beach so he could roll it up.

"Off. This things heavy. Must be full." He commented and rolled the barrel to the supply warehouse. He didn't even need to open the door as one of the crew was already inside with two others, opening the door when he heard the rolling.

"Eh? What you got their Koby?"

"Well this barrel washed ashore. It feels quite full and I'm not sure what to do with it."

"I know what we could do!" Said another guy in the warehouse. "Let's drink it! It's gotta be rum in their after all."

The first guy rubbed the back of his neck. "You sure? Lady Alvida would kill us if she found out."

"She won't find out." Said the last guy. "Us and Koby are the only ones who know about it. And we ain't talking right?"

"Heh heh. Good point. Right Koby?" The three turned to look at the boy who was nodding at a mile a second.

"Right, I didn't see nothing." He said and backed away. Letting the guys have a crack at the barrel.

"Okay now I just....eeee...come on, grr the lid's stuck!" The burliest of the three complained.

"Then just stab into it near the top and hold our mugs to it will the rum pours out." Said another who drew his sword.

That's when the barrel began shaking. The pirates and Koby stepped back, the one with the sword taking the hilt in both hands just to be safe. Ready for whatever was going to jump out at him.

Except nothing jumped out.

The barrel imploded.

In an instant the barrel crushed inwards and and vanished into a darkness that was where it had been.

The darkness dissipated in an instant. Leaving only a fisher looking boy in it's wake.

"WOW! What a great nap! I thought I was a goner for sure. Good thing I had that Barrel. But I guess I shouldn't jam the top on so tightly next time. HAHAHAHA" Luffy laughed out.

The four other occupants of the room stared at the laughing freak who had just, just, EATEN the barrel from what they could guess.

"Huh?"He said. "Who are you guy's?"

"US! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!" The three screamed in unison.

"WHAT'S MAKING ALL THAT RACKECT!!!"

"The building caved in as a massive bar of iron tore threw it. Destroying everything it touched and bringing the ceiling down on three lowlifes. Luffy and Koby were spared when the force of the club sent wood and debris at the surprised boy and made him fly backwards, instinct took over and Luffy reached out to grab something. Grabbing Koby before they were both sent far out into the forest of the island.

Alvida towered over them. Her face red with anger. "SWABBIES! Who is the most beautiful in all the sea!?"

"YOU ARE LADY ALVIDA!!!" The chorused.

"But you still defy me?" She waved the club in front of one of her mens faces."

"Defy you? N-never my lady."

"Don't play dumb with me. I could hear one of you bellowing from the ship. Now which one of you lazy good for nothings had such a great nap?" Her tone was deadly.

"Nap? I....*gasp* that guy in the barrel!"

Confusion passed over Alvida's face. "Barrel?"

Seeing an opportunity to move attention from them they jumped. "Theirs an intruder on the island Lady Alvida."

"Yeah. Koby brought him here. Probably ta get your bounty."

"My bounty! Damn Koby you traitorous little runt!" She growled out. Her grip on the iron mace tightening.

"A bounty hunter eh. Not many brave enough to come here alone. In fact the only one I could guess is..."

"Thats stupid! That marine base has him locked up tight."

"True. But they do say that Roronoa Zoro is just that clever." Said Alvida. "I'll tell you what. Help me find that traitor and bounty hunter and I'll just triple your workload."

Hazarding a guess at the alternative the pirates nodded. "YES LADY ALVIDA!!!"

* * *

"Are you ok? After taking most of the fall you must really be in pain."

"Nah I'm fine. Just surprised." Said Luffy while biting back what little pain he felt. He loved his powers but sometimes they were just irritating, it still hurt more than it should whenever he was injured, but not to be deterred by this weakness he'd pushed himself to get a better tolerance of pain for things that he didn't absorb. It still hurt but believe me if any other person had taken that fall they'd be in a much worse state than a little soreness.

"I'm Luffy by the way. You know where we are?"

Koby sweat dropped a little at the guy's ability to wave of falling down a steep hill but spoke. "This is the island hideout of Alvida, the lady Pirate. I'm her cabin boy Koby by the way."

"Oh. Ah well thats not really important to me."

Koby's sweat dropping got worse at that statement. Being stuck on an island with a pirate crew looking for you wasn't important?

"You have a dinghy? Mine got destroyed when I got sucked into a giant whirlpool."

"A whirlpool!?"

"Yeah." Luffy huffed. "It caught me by surprise too."

'How does a giant whirlpool catch you by surprise?' "Well yeah as a matter of fact I have a...sort of dinghy."

A sort of dinghy was correct, as it only looked like a one. Luffy seriously doubted it could stay afloat more than 10 minutes.

"This looks more like a coffin than a boat." Luffy said bluntly.

"Yeah. It's taken me two years to build this thing but I don't think it'd go for two minutes." Koby sighed.

"Two years! And you don't want it?"

Koby shook his head. "It's not that I don't want it. I want nothing more than to escape this hell. But Alvida and her crew would probably catch me before I was 10 meters away. I guess I'm a cabin boy forever. Although a long time ago I had a much different dream."

His face became shadowed with horror and regret. "I remember the day this all started. It was a beautiful day so I thought 'hey why don't I go fishing'. I remembered that a few of the ships near my home town let people go fishing. So I grabbed by pole and by bag and hurried down to the docks. Jumping in the first boat I could find. But it turned out to be a pirate ship. They said if I didn't want to die then I'd be their cabin boy."

"That's stupid. I'm not too bright and even I know not to go on a ship without checking."

Koby's head drooped in defeat..

"Plus your a gutless coward. So your really just worthless." Luffy grinned through his teeth.

"You don't have to rub it in." Whimpered the pink haired boy. "Your right. I don't have the courage to float around the sea in a barrel. Why did you go out to see anyway?"

"Well as a matter of fact. I'M GONNA BE PIRATE KING!!!" He stated in just below a yell.

K-king of, KING OF THE PIRATES!?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" He waved his arm's about like a madmen. "YOU'D HAVE TO MAKE ALL OTHER PIRATES KNEEL TO YOU! YOU'D HAVE TO GAIN MORE WEALTH, POWER AND FAME THAN ANYONE ELSE! DON'T TELL ME YOUR AFTER GOLD ROGERS TREASURE 'ONE PIECE!?!"

He calmed down, unable to continue his tirade at that volume any more.

"*Huff* *huff* Every pirate in the world is after that. Every single one. You'd have to be an idiot to try and beat the whole world. The king of the pirates ind..."

***Wham***

"OW! Why the heck did you punch me." A decked Koby asked Luffy who had casually sent his fist into the cabin boys face.

"You were hysterical. You yell anymore without a breath and you'd a passed out.. Besides..."

"I've set myself to become pirate king. Even if I die I'll go happy knowing I tried."

….Wow.

What guts. Koby didn't think he'd ever met someone with so much raw nerve as this guy before. He sure as hell didn't see it from any of the guy's on Alvida's ship.

"Your really not afraid to die."

"Nah. Besides I believe I can do it. Or I'm I just kidding myself." Luffy scratched his chin in thought..

Koby didn't even feel the tears pour down his face. This was exactly what he needed to hear.

"Do you...think it's possible that I could join the navy!?"

Luffy just looked at the boy puzzled.

"Ever since I was a little boy I've wanted to be a marine. To fight bad guy's like that fat witch of a pirate!"

He stood up, hands bunched in front of him.

"You think I can do it right!?"

Luffy shrugged. "How would I know?"

"It doesn't matter! I'm gonna do it! Even if I don't make it, even if Alvida latch's me and kills me before I get away I'll have at least tried! It's better than a miserable life here!"

"I'LL BECOME A MARINE! THEN I'LL CATCH ALVIDA!!!"

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU RUNT!!!" A kinda feminine voice yelled.

A tremendous force came crashing down just in front of Koby. Utterly crushing Koby's boat, and his dreams along with it.

Seeing Koby's despair Alvida grinned. "You think you could escape me? Your mine forever Koby. And don't forget it!"

She turned her attention to the supposed bounty hunter. Not nearly as tall, scary of generally threatening than she had thought he would be. "This is the bounty hunter you were talking about?" She asked the men behind her. "Idiots! This isn't Zoro! This isn't even a bounty hunter. Looks more like a fisherman who got washed ashore."

"Our apologise Lady Alvida." One said in a rushed voice, eying the mace over her shoulder.

"Who is the most beautiful woman in the seas! Answer me!" She pointed the mace at Koby.

Habit and fear overtook Koby as practiced words overtook his voice. "You are l....

"Hey Koby. Whose this fat ugly crone?" Luffy asked Koby.

…...................Oh crap.

Her men backed up as far as they could.

Koby's jaw fell past his knees.

Alvida's was clenched hard enough to crush granite. Her pupils shrank to needle points.

"Were all gonna die!" Shouted a crewman before running away.

"Run away like little girls!" Screamed another following the first.

Koby grabbed Luffy's shoulders and began shaking him. Finding holding onto the boy quite difficult given he was sweating more than a pig in a butchers.

"Luffy stop! In all the seas Alvida is..is..is"

'Even if I die I'll go happy knowing I tried.'

"is...is...THE FATTEST, UGLIEST OLD HAG OF THEM ALL!!!"

"You....LITTLE!!!"

"I WON'T TAKE IT BACK!!! YOUR JUST A WITCH WHO HAS TO THREATEN PEOPLE TO COMPLIMENT BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLIMENT!!!"

"HAHAHA Good one Koby!!!"

"SHUT UP!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY CAUSE YOUR BOTH GOING TO DIE!!!!" She screamed in a high enough pitch to crack Koby's glasses. Bringing the mace down as hard as she could on Koby, who was pushed out of the way at the last second by Luffy. Taking the full force of the iron spiked club on his head.

"LUFFY!!!"

"HA! Thats one down. Now for you, you little ***grunt*** snot? RRRR, come...on! Why, won't you...MOVE!?"

Koby stared at the bizarre scene in front of him. Luffy by all reason should be a broken and bloody heap on the ground by now. The mace was actually buried for a few inch's in his skull. Yet for some reason he was still standing, not even as much as a drop of blood coming from the corpse or a sign that even his hat was damaged let alone his head. Stranger still Alvida was red in the face from exertion, trying for all she was worth to pull the mace away from Luffy which she seemed incapable of doing.

"That won't work." Said the body.

Electricty ran through Koby when he heard that. No way!

Wonder besets wonder. Not only was Luffy fine, But underneath that hat he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Nothing gets away from me. Absorption!"

Alvida, who had been focused on freeing her only leverage against her men felt herself get pulled forward. Her mace actually getting pulled 'into' the boys skin with a the faintest hint of a dark outline surrounding the area it was rushing into. (2)

"Release!"

***WHACK***

As fast as it got pulled into the boy's skin it shot out again. A thin mangled length of iron shot out of his palm with the power of a cannonball behind it and decking her in a viscous uppercut. Sending the whale of a woman flying back fifty feet. Landing with a crash in a dead faint.

The Alvida pirates surrounded their defeated boss. Shock and horror on every face.

"He just beat Alvida! Effortlessly!" Crowed one.

"The mace just shot out of his hand!" Barked another. Staring at Luffy as they once did Alvida when she got angry.

Luffy glared back at them. His eyes drawing them in, threatening to consume them.

"I'm taking Koby to join the marines. So give us a dinghy or I'll do to you what I did to the bat."

Bat? Alvida was the one he'd defeated so why would the bat be a bigger threat? The looked over to where the iron mace had landed after smacking Alvida. The men's eyes grew to saucers when they saw the deadly mace, once as wide as their torso's and covered in thumb long spikes, was now as thin as a broom handle and just as smooth. Except for the dozens of dents and dings, scratched and bent to such a degree that it looked more like a metal pretzel that someone had tried to untwist but just gave up and left.

Faced with such a threat the pirates wisely and quietly said. "Yes sir."

* * *

"Yami yami fruit? That's a devil fruit right?" Asked Koby who was still wiping away tears of happiness even after a good 10 minutes of sailing in his new dinghy.

"Yep! I'm a human black hole! And all it cost me was my ability to swim" Luffy said grinning.

'If you can't swim then you shouldn't sit on the that tiny ship head should you?' Koby thought seeing his new friend sit cross legged on a thin piece of wood dangling over the water teasingly. Luffy moves so much as an inch in the wrong direction and he'll have had his third close call of the day.

"So Luffy." Koby said trying to shift the conversation. "If your aiming to be king of the pirates that means you'll have to enter the grand line right?"

"Yep."

"But it dangerous! They call it the pirates graveyard for a reason you know."

Luffy shrugged. "That's why I'm gonna build a 'super crew'! Made up of the best the east blue has to offer."

'That isn't saying much. This part of the world is where the weakest of the weak come from' Koby thought sourly. This pessimism not quite gone yet.

"Hey Koby. That bounty hunter guy the old biddy mentioned. Who was he again?"

"Roronoa Zoro. The most feared bounty hunter in the east blue. But why......oh no."

"Most feared huh? I think I'll get him to join my crew."

"But he's been imprisoned at the local base! He's a criminal now."

Luffy's ever present smile didn't fade in the slightest. "Then I'll see if he's a good guy before asking him to join my crew."

The argument latest a long time. Which by the end Koby found two things.

One was that having an argument with Luffy was like fighting a brick wall. You could hit at it all day and you'd be the one in pain.

Two.....it was a full days sailing to the nearest island. With nothing to do but listen to Luffy blather on about becoming the pirate king.

Oh joy.

* * *

End chapter.

* * *

**Omake piece:**

**Okama Omake: part 1**

In the grand line, stood hell.

The indomitable fortress prison, 'Impel down'. Where the criminals of the world government are sent to spend their lives in torment and agony regardless of how minor or spectacular the crime was. All whose who entered the down were never seen again.

Each criminal was sentenced to endless torture. The type of torture depending on the level of criminal. The pettiest and smallest of prisoners were sentenced to a mere 18 hours of classic torture. You know racks, whips, iron maidens and such.

Criminals slightly higher on the threat level were thrown into the crimson forest, were they are chased about endlessly in a woodland made of nothing of blades were you are cut and stabbed with every step.

Level 2 was beyond that, wild beasts stalked this level, some moving about searching for the latest meat from the level up above, while others waited outside the cells of particularly burly or fat convicts. Licking their lips and waiting, waiting for the day those inside the cell think maybe they can escape when the beast's attention leave them for a split second, but they're 'always' watching. Always.

Level 3 is the desert hell. The scorching heat from the hell below turning this whole floor into a giant hot plate. hours stretched like day's for those forced to endure it. Ever hungry and ever parched. Always kept 'just' on the edge of starvation and dehydration. Given barely enough to stay alive. The sands of this floor were made up of the remains of those who had chosen to move on than endure this life.

Level 4 is the boiling hell. The heat here makes the level above it look like the level below it. Prisoners are forced to labor day in and out without rest. Making them hotter than they thought possible. Those not lucky enough to work endlessly are thrown into boiling vats of the collected blood of the prisoners throughout the whole down. Kept in just long enough for their flesh turns blistered and raw but not enough to die.

The level below that is a stark contrast. The entire floor was a freezing forest. Were rapid wolves roam, hungry for the only food source ever provided save for cannibalism. Prisoners must endure beyond freezing temperatures, looking for even the smallest bit of heat to stop their black and useless fingers and toes from snapping off.

Level 6 does not exist. It is 'not' where the most powerful criminals ever known to the world preside. It is 'not' were pirates are sent to be erased from history, and it 'not' ironically the sight of the only ever escape from Impel down by 'Shiki the gold lion'.

However all these hells are still nothing in comparison to the final hell. A hell hidden from the eyes of the guards. Where one can find either damnation or salvation, feel joy like no other or madness unparalleled. Where gender was just a word and bizarre was the norm.

This was the kama kingdom.

This was hell.

Or would be. Very soon.

(1) When Alvida say's beautiful I had her pronounce the U in it. So she's saying bea-U-tiful.

(2) I thought it would be good if Luffy could absorb anything he touched rather than have to summon up a massive black aura every time. You know how black beard can absorb devil fruit powers with a touch? I thought if he could absorb those by just touching it then why not other things. However when absorbing the area aurrounding whatever it is he's absorbing with give of a dark outline.

This only works if he's touching something, and it is of a certain size. He could absorb something like a cannonball, sword, etc, but not something of a certain size like a ship or out of his reach without using his aura. It just seems more practical. However he has to remember to consciously absorb it otherwise he will get injured.

I haven't fully explored the extent of Luffy's powers. Guarenteed though that the powers blackbeard has shown won't be the only skills he has.

The Omake is just an introduction. The rest will appear in a later chapter.

Til next time.


	4. Chapter 4: Santoryu

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: I do not own one piece, or any other recognised chareceters from any other movie, show or media mentioned in this story.

***Bold*= **Sound effects, sighing and snorting

Chapter 4: Hello and farewell

* * *

"I can't believe you. Even after I told you how much Zoro hates pirates your 'still' planning to recruit him?" Scoffed Koby.

The wannabe pirate and marine hopeful had been floating for almost a full day. It was fortunate that they'd taken off early in the morning because they weren't exactly geared for a long voyage. Koby had too fend off a voracious Luffy from eating all their rations with one of the oars, and by fend off I meant pass him food using the oar as a spoon so he wasn't tossed overboard by the ravenous teen in his bid to reach the grub.

Needless to say he only had one or left to steer with.

Fortunately despite his....less than human eating habits he still had the capacity of a normal person and could only eat so much at a time. God forbid if he was one of those 'big eaters' he'd heard fruit users could be. (1)

* * *

"I'm hungry! Where's dinner!"

"Um my king. You just ate an entire herd of manatees."

"So what! I'm hungry so that means it's dinner time! Or do you want to see how you look covered in marinara sauce with an apple in your mouth!?"

"More food! Right away!" The man with a bow on his back ran to find his king more to eat.

* * *

***MUNCH* *CHOMP* *GULP***

***Grumble***

"*******Moan*** Captain, can we eat now?" Asked a clearly starving man rubbing his stomach while eyeing the feast and a half they'd made for their leader.

"***Munch*** No! If you eat any then their might not be enough for me. You'll eat when I'm done."

"But Cap'n! Were your crew! We need food. You can't except us to Gabba bepo doba." Said the infant in mens cloths before bursting into tears.

"Anyone else feel like whining like baby's?" The captain

A collective shaking of the head let the lady captain turn back to her meal.

"By the way. I think helmsman Dobbs needs changing." She said while cramming a turkey leg in her mouth as her men backed away from the smell.

* * *

"I didn't say I wasn't listening. I just want to see if he's a good person first before I decide if I want him in my crew."

'I tell you about all the story's I heard about what a monster he is and you still want to see yourself, and you tell me you've been listening?' Koby thought sarcastically. "Luffy for the last time. Roronoa Zoro is a demon made flesh. You so much as say your a pirate and he'll kill you before you can say anything else."

"Wow! If he can kill a guy before he says another word I definitely have to ask him to join the crew!" Luffy said with stars in his eyes.

"***Sigh*** He absorbs everything but words." Koby muttered.

Fortunately for his sanity it only took another hour to reach the navy base town, or unfortunate depending on your point of view. Luffy jumped out of the lifeboat and ran off to take in the view. Leaving Koby o tie the boat to the dock.

"Wow the marine base!" The Yami boy said happily. "I can't believe we got here."

"Well of course. Basic navigation is necessity for all sea travel. Unless you want to just float about the ocean forever."

"LET'S EAT!!!" The pirate said and ran off in a random direction in hopes of finding a rester ant.

Koby stared after the dust cloud Looking down into the boat where their food supply had once been, now only bits of string, wrapper and a splintered oar. He bit his lips and looked back in the direction Luffy went in.

"Mmm, if being a marine means I'd have to fight guy's like him. Then maybe I should just be a vegtable farmer like Mom told me to."

* * *

Koby found Luffy in a restaurant called 'Food Foo'. Ordering something for himself the two sat at the table eating their last meal as friends.

Luffy sighed and patter his stomach contentedly. "We'll Koby. This is the town were we part ways. You do your best to become a great marine OK."

Touched at his friends words Koby wiped away his tears and nodded. "T-thank you Luffy. You just remember to be a great pirate."

"No problem! But If I'm gonna be king then I expect you to be an admiral by the time I am. Or better!"

Koby gaped. An admiral!? They were the best of the best. Only taking orders from the fleet admiral or the world government themselves. Did Luffy really have that much faith in him?

As Koby was dreaming Luffy was thinking out loud. "Mmm I wonder if Zoro is still being kept at the base?"

***CRASH***

The two of them whipped their heads at the sound. Tables being flipped over, dishes crashing to the floor, meals half eaten covering the wood and staining the crumpled table cloths. People had flung themselves against the wall furthest from Koby and Luffy as possible. Staring at the two with abject horror.

"Uh Luffy." Koby whispered. "I don't think you should mention Zoro."

"Mmmm."

"Anyway I saw a notice out on the street. A lieutenant Morgan is in charge of the base."

***CRASH***

Everyone who had only just started to peel themselves off the wall and clean up were back against the wall staring at the two.

"Errr. Lets just leave." Koby said. Grabbing his friends arm and pulling him complaining out the door.

A few seconds later he peered back through the door. Seeing everyone clean up again.

"Morgan."

***CRASH***

Koby stared at the people plasters against the wall. Before dropping his head in defeat.

"I get the feeling I'm the only sane person I'll ever know."

* * *

"HAHAHA That was great!" Laughed Luffy while he and Koby headed towards the biggest structure in town, the navy base.

"This isn't funny Luffy. Zoro I could understand, but why would they react the same way to the lieutenants name?"

"I dunno. Maybe he did something bad." Luffy said simply.

"What! That's impossible!"

"Why? Just because someones a marine or a pirate doesn't mean they're always good or bad right?"

Koby wanted to say something against that claim, but he really couldn't fault his friends logic. Nor did he really have time to since they had now reached their destination.

The marine base was unbelievably ugly. It had four normal looking buildings, and two that look like upside down flower pots that had been painted in zebra stripes. A large gates with the word 'Marine' painted on it separated them from their duel objectives.

Luffy slapped his companion on the back. "Alright Koby. In ya go."

"Uhhh." Remembering the reactions of the towns folk to the marine officers name Koby wasn't in a hurry to go in. "I'm not really prepared yet. I can't just go in and ask after all."

***Shrug*** "Suit yourself." He said before reaching up and latching onto the top of the wall, hauling himself up till he got a good look over it.

"Now lets see where that 'monster' is."

"You won't find him like that Luffy. He's probably locked up tight in the base."

As usual Luffy didn't listen to the pink haired boy and hopped down, moving to another section after he spotted something at another part of the base grounds. Hopping back up onto the wall further down Koby could see a wide smile cover Luffy's face.

"There he is. Come see!"

Koby gulped but complied. Curious as to the monsters identify himself.

As soon as he peeked his head up he fell back onto his rear. His face a picture of terror.

"That bandanna, the evil aura. Nu-no doubt, it's Z-z-zoro!"

Even as obviously injured as he was anyone who knew his face would be terrified of this man. He was tall and muscular. Wearing a white t-shirt that outlined his physique breifly and black trousers and brown boots. The green sash around his waist had a brown rope around it which secured him to the post he was tied to in addition to the rope wrapped around his arm's on a post parallel to the one his waist was tied to. Hold him in a sort of 'crucification'

"So thats Zoro. Those ropes don't look too strong I could break em easy." Said Luffy.

"What! D-don't even joke about that! He could kill you!"

"Hey!"

Koby's head snapped around at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Only to realize that the confident yet weary voice came from the feared pirate hunter.

It was unbelievable. He was filthy, looked exhausted and had blood both dried and new smeared around his mouth and coming down from his head. Yet for all this he was smiling. The way his bandanna shadowed his eyes gave him an evil look, And the smirk on his lips like he was saying 'I could still kill you'.

"Could you...***huff***..get over here and untie me. ***Huff*** I'd do it myself but my arm's are asleep from being tied like this."

Luffy just continued to look at the guy. Koby was half ducked behind the wall.

"I don't have any money. But I'm a bounty hunter. I'll..***Huff*** find the biggest bounty in this blue and give it to you. I'm a man of my word."

"Mmmm." Luffy looked to be seriously considering it.

"Luffy don't! You can't trust him, he'll kill you as soon as you untie him."

"Nah. He can't kill me. Cause I'm strong too!"

'He's hopeless!!!' Cried Koby mentally.

"Shhh."

Turning to their right they see a little girl on a stepladder holding a package in one hand. She hopped down on the other side of the wall. Completely unafraid of one of the most dangerous men in the least dangerous ocean.

Zoro looked down at the little girl with passive interest. "You lose something kid?"

She shook her head cutely and unwrapped the package. Showing two large rice balls.

"I made some rice balls for you Oni-san. Since you haven't eaten in a long time okay?"

"Go away kid!"

The girl looked hurt but was still determined to give him the food. "Please...."

"Leave me alone! Get lost or I'll kill you!" He snarled.

"Well that wasn't very nice." A snobby voice called out.

Flagged on either side by burly men in marine uniforms was the kind of guy most people would beat on reflex. A fine black suit with spotted cuffs, a gold chain and a ring on the hand which wasn't seated in his pocket. If that wasn't stupid looking enough then what about the fact that his hair looked like someone had taken a bowl to it and then slapped on three full bottles of gel to give his blond hair a perfect oval shape.

This was the base commanders son 'Helmet hair' Helmeppo.

Koby sighed in relief. Strange as the guy looked the two marines on either side of the guy told him that he was someone important to the marines.

Zoro scoffed at the pompous guy. "Well well. If it isn't the lieutenants bastard son."

"Ehhh? Don't get cocky you damn criminal. My dad is the lieutenant of this base after all."

"Hee. I just said that you ass."

Helmeppo gnashed his teeth but managed to turn his attention from Zoro. Walking up to the little girl and speaking in a patronizing tone.

"Why hello little girl. My those look tasty." He said right before grabbing one from the girls hands.

"Stop it!" She said with tears forming in her eyes. Koby grew confused. She didn't cry when Zoro threatened her but she did with the marine commanders son? What was going on?

Helmeppo ignored her and took a big bite....right before retching and spitting the mouthful out.

"That's awful! Your supposed to put salt in these you little twit. Not just suger!"

"But, I like sweet things so I thought they'd be yummier that way." She said sadly.

In response Helmeppo snatched the other one away and stomped both the whole one and the partial one into the dirt angrily.

"That's so cruel." Said Koby, who was in a state of disbelief at the behavior of Helmeppo.

"Their. Now the ants will eat them. Hahaha!"

The girl started to shiver and shake, the tears becoming that much harder to hold back. Helmeppo spotted that and groaned.

"Give it a rest you brat. It's your own fault for being here. See this?"

He pointed to a sign conveniently placed next to him. It stated 'Anyone found aiding a criminal with be charged with the same crime. Signed Lieutenant Axe hand Morgan'.

He grabbed the child by the shoulders and stared right into her eyes with a sinister look.

"You know my dad right? Big guy, not to nice to law breakers. Your damn lucky your not an adult otherwise I'd have my men kill you."

He tossed the girl back to the ground and talked to his men. "Throw this brat over the wall."

"Huh? But she's just a...."

Helmeppo was in his face in an instant. "Don't dare talk back to me! Or do you want me t tell dad you were going against orders?"

"N-NO SIR!" The marine then grabbed the girl and with a mighty heave threw her over the wall with a yelp. Forcing Luffy to jump off to catch her. Making him fall on his back.

As Koby was checking the girl for injury when she got up Luffy got up and peeked over the wall at the scene. Seeing Helmeppo resume his aloof attitude and striding right up to Zoro.

"Well well. Your still alive. I didn't think anyone would have this sort of endurance." She chuckled. "Tell you what. If you stay alive for an entire month. I'll forget about your little indiscretion and let you go."

"*Huff* You better keep you word." Zoro growled.

"Hehehehe don't worry I will. See you in just over two weeks." With that he strode of in some direction followed by his flunkies. "Good luck!

Zoro wasn't focused on the helmet headed idiot anymore. He was too busy staring a hole through the teen who just jumped over the wall.

"What're you doing here?"

"Well. I'm looking for people to join my pirate crew actually."

Zoro looked at him for a second before breaking out into a twisted grin. "Wow. I didn't think anyone as young as me would give up on life so soon. Kinda sad."

"Hey I haven't given up! It's my dream! What's wrong with that?!"

"...Let me guess. You heard about me, so you cam to free me and make me join your crew. Right?"

Luffy scratched his head, forgetting he was wearing a coarse straw hat. "I haven't decided yet. Since everyone says your a bad sort of guy."

"***Snort*** Look who's talking. Listen up and listen good. I will never join you! Understand? I don't need you to help me. I know for a fact that I'll easily be able to survive for a month here. Food or no..."

"...I have to live, to fulfill my dreams."

Luffy stared at the older teenager. A smile creeping up on his face without notice at the talk of dreams. Well if Zoro's dream depend on his being tied to a post for a month, thereby permenently damaging his arms so he can never use a sword again then he was gonna let him do it.

"Alright if that's what you want." He turned to leave. "Although if it were me I think I'd starve to death in a week without food."

***GGGRRROOOWWWLLL***

'Foood.' "Hey wait!"

Luffy turned back to see the prisoner looking down at the mess that used to be hand made riceballs.

"Can you help me eat that?"

Koby, who had finished helping the girl watched from a distance sweat dropped at the swordsman request. The rice balls, which had once been white, triangular and sticky were now flat, muddy and had a small footprint on it.

"You sure? You'll probably get sick."

"Just give it to me!" He said and opened his mouth as wide as he could.

Luffy shrugged and tossed it into the waiting guys mouth. It was quite comical to see the previously bad ass criminal with bulging cheeks and sweat breaking out all over washing away the dry blood. His head shook violently as you could see the mass he tried to force down his throat as though he was swallowing a sea urchin whole before it reached his stomach.

"***HACK*** ***COUGH*** Tell that girl ***BOIK*** that those were the best rice balls I ever had." He said while still looking like he'd eaten something jagged and poisonous.

Luffy just grinned. This was all the proof he needed.

* * *

"He ate it all? Really?!" The delighted girl asked Luffy after they had returned her to her house.

"Yep. And he said he loved it to." Replied the boy.

"Gee. I can't belove someone with as bad a rep as Zoro could really act like that!" Said Koby.

Th girl spun on him and stamped her foot indignantly. "It's not his fault!" She looked down at the ground. "It's all my fault he's stuck there. People are only afraid of him because of what he did for me"

"Helmeppo used to have this pet wolf. He'd never have it leashed, just letting it run around, biting people and doing whatever it wanted. The day Zoro arrived on the island is the same day the wolf wanted to try and take a bite out of me, I shut my eyes as hard as I could and hoped it was a dream. But when I opened my eyes Nee-san was standing in front of me, with the wolf cut in half and Helmeppo running back to the base crying to go get his dad."

"Wait so Zoros in trouble because he stopped that wolf from killing you?"

The girl nodded.

Koby added his thoughts. "It makes sense. Why would a bounty hunter as notorious as Zoro suddenly be a criminal. They're the ones who stop the bad guys after all."

"Hmph! The only bad guys are the Morgans. They're like tyrants. And execute anyone who doesn't obey them."

"What creeps." Said Luffy.

"PUT YOR HEAD BACK DOWN OR I'LL TELL MY DADDY!!!"

The sound of that nasally voice could only come from one person. The looked to see Helmeppo walking down main street like the town was his. Everyone had been forced to bow to the little creep, under threat of him running to his dad. He eyed the crowd, eager to remind anyone of what he'd do if anyone disobeyed even a little.

"Thta's right stay they're. Unless you want to end up a dead man like that idiot Zoro!"

"What does that mean!" Snapped Luffy. Causing everyone else to cringe at the latent disrespect the straw hat boy was showing the commanders son.

Helmeppo looked over the fisher boy with mild disinterest before deciding to humor him. "I plan to have that freak executed in three days time. Isn't it obvious?"

Tufts of sinister darkness started to spring from Luffy, like the boy was bursting into flame without any fire. His knuckles tightened enough to make an audible crack. The only ones who could see it where Koby and the girl hiding behind him, and the marines who were moving to shield Morgans brat. The rest were either pressed to the ground or had their eyes closed in a vain expression.

"I thought you said you'd free him if he lived a month." The tone turned as dark as the flameless smoke rising from him.

"HAHA Like anyone would belove that. I was joking so I could see the bastards face when he's put to the blo...."

The marines didn't move in the way soon enough. How could they when instead of Luffy rushing the helmet headed brat, Helmeppo instead flew towards Luffys outstretched hand.

***WHA-DOOM***

Dispelling the swirling dark energy on contact. Luffy drew his fist back and, much to the horror of Everyone they're, sent it speeding into the younger Morgans face. Making him fly through the air like a bullet and crash into one of the buildings, leaving him indented in the wall out cold.

"Luffy. Do you realize what you've done!" Screamed Koby

"I've decided Koby. Roronoa Zoro is going to be my nakama." Said Luffy with finality in his voice.

The street turned eerily quiet. Save for the few chunks of brick and plaster that fell away while the marines were peeling Helmeppo Morgan off the wall he had smashed into. Everyone was to busy looking at Luffy with abject horror.

"You, you, you hit him? YOU HIT HIM!!!" Yelled one of the terrified townsfolk.

"Lieutenant Morgan is gonna turn him into hamburger meat!" Cried another.

As the marines roused the blond ponce from unconsciousness Luffy was determined to put him right back under. Raising his hand before Koby grabbed him from behind.

"Luffy please don't make this worse than it already is. You'll really upset the marines!"

"I don't give a crap! That bastard deserves it!" Said Luffy, trying to break his friends grip to continue his attack.

Helmeppo rubbed the sore part of his face. He'd been hit, he'd been hit! Some little peon actually had the guts to brave his father and hit him! This would not stand. Not even his much feared father had ever hit him before, and he was a monster.

"How DARE YOU!!!" "NOBODY HITS ME! NOT EVEN MY FATHER!!!"

"I'M TELLING!!!"

It was the most terrifying yet immature thing anyone had ever heard. Everyone scrambled to get as far away from Luffy and Koby as possible for fear of being seen with them.

"Tell him what? That his kids a wuss who has to run to daddy? Why don't you fight for yourself you little wimp?!"

Helmeppo snorted. Not at all bothered by these normally demeaning insults. "You'll regret this. When my father hears what you did he'll execute you himself!" He said before having his marine flunkies carry him back to the base.

"Aww. I guess you can't always knock sense into idiots. Grampa sure was right." Said Luffy

"Wow!" Said the little girl, being the only one besides Koby who hadn't darted for a hiding spot.

"You were amazing Oni-san."

"Rika!" An older female voice called in their direction. A larger version of the girl (now identified as Rika) stormed over and grabbed her arm. Pulling her towards one of the houses.

"How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers." The woman lectured her daughter. "You could be mistaken as one of their friends and punished like those hoodlums!"

"Mom, hes a good person. Just like Zoro is."

"Nonsense! Have you been going to the execution grounds again?!"

No Mom." Rika said sadly. She turned to see Luffy waving her bye before her mom closed the door.

"This is really bad." Said Koby while spazzing out "If the lieutenant finds out then he'll probably send a whole squad of marines after us and...hey were are you going?"

"To get Zoro."

"Oh I see then..................you know I should be yelling at you about how insane that is. But I'm not."

"Maybe your just getting used to it." Luffy said and walked off.

"But I don't want to get used to it. That'd mean I'm becoming as crazy as everyone else." The pink haired boy sighed out and chased after his friend.

* * *

In the tallest point of the ugliest building ever designed sat the one man on the whole island with a bigger ego than Helmeppo.

His father.

"I am great." The man said simply. His voice deep and gruff.

The sole other occupant of the room. Alone marine who drew the short straw saluted and throughly agreed with the vain madman. "Absolutely sir! They should make you an admiral sir!"

"You do mean 'fleet' admiral right." He stated.

"Oh yes sir. fleet admiral sir!" The marine gulped. "Not to be the bearer of bad news sir. But lately the offerings from the town had been..."

"Decreasing." Finished Morgan.

"Er, yes sir." The kiss up said. Eying the door and weighing his odds. "With all the new laws you've been implementing as of late the people can no longer afford to give as much for the offerings. They can only give so much sir."

"No." Morgan corrected. "It's not a matter of finance. It's a matter of respect! They don't respect me!!"

Seconds later Helmeppo burst into the room. His eyes ablaze with anger.

* * *

He certainly had a lot of visitors today. All of them of course being unwanted. The girl wasn't so bad, but this straw hatted guy didn't seem to understand the word no.

"I told you I'm not joining your stupid crew!" The weakened swordsmen said.

"My names Luffy." The younger teen said, ignorant to Zoro's annoyance. "And when I untie you then you'll join my crew ok?"

"What part of 'no' don't you get? Besides I already have things I need to do. And one of those things doesn't involve me being a criminal."

"Everyone already thinks you are." Luffy pointed out.

"So?! I don't care what they think. I've never done anything wrong before and I never will. I refuse to be a pirate!"

Luffy humphed and crossed his arms. "I don't care. Your joining my crew and that's that!"

"Don't decide for yourself!"

"By the way I heard you use a katana. So where is it?" Luffy asked.

Zoro glared at him for a second "That overstuffed twerp took it from me when they tied me up. It's something I value second only to my life as well."

"Sounds like a great treasure. Oh, I have an idea! I'll find helmet head and get your sword back for you."

Zoro was genuinely surprised at this act of charity. "You'd really do that for me?"

Luffy nodded. "Uh huh." His expression changed to sly. "Of course I'll only do that if you agree to join my crew."

".......Thats dirty."

Luffy just grinned. "I'm a pirate. Thats how I do business." He then ran off towards the base.

* * *

Now you may be wondering. 'Why is it so easy for children to get in the grounds of a restricted military base?' Well the answers rather simple. You see most of the navy platoon stationed there had been busy with a task that Morgan had deemed the utmost importance. One that required nearly every available officer to be elsewhere.

He was having a twenty foot statue of himself raised today.

Morgan watched from the comfort of an armchair he had brought to the roof as, in a reserve of Gulliver's travels his men pulled at rope binding his giant statue to raise it up to its feet. Beside his his indignant son was yelling at him.

"Why haven't you taken care of that blasted straw hat who had the nerve to hit me?! Not even you've hit me before!"

Morgan turned to his son and gazed at the disappointment passively. Do you know 'why' I've never hit you before?"

Helmeppo was confused at the question but answered. "Because I'm your belovo...."

"Wrong."

***WHAM***

The boy was sent to the roof when his father aimed the blunt side of his weapon in his jaw. Morgan stood up and looked down past his nose at his son. Which was a long way to look down

Axe hand Morgan was an enormous man with short white blond hair and was as tanned as his son was pale. Taller than most by about a head and bulging with Muscles that weren't hidden by his Marine officers jacket since the sleeves had been removed. It was entirely possible that he choose the towers ugly colour scheme since he was wearing pants with the same pattern as well as a black v cut dress shirt.

Of course you'd typically look past those features when you saw the fact that he had a steel jaw in place of a normal one, and a big ass Axe in place of his hand which was big enough to cleave a man in half. The Axe actually looked to be embedded in his arm the way the point of his elbow jutted out like half a foot from the joint and screws ran the length of his arm.

He reached down with his one good hand and wrapped a massive fist around his whimpering sons face.

"I've never hit you because your a worthless little bastard who isn't worth the effort to hit." He squeezed harder. "Your not the great one here you little worm. I am, Axe hand Morgan!"

He dropped his son to the ground panting. Turning himself back to face his statue. "Now then. I heard a rumor about a little girl who sneaked into the execution sight."

"That brat." Said Helmeppo rubbing his jaw. "Yeah I already se..."

"Did you execute her!!" Morgan glared at his son.

Both his son and the collected men gaped at the mans exclamation. Surely he wasn't serious?

"O-f course not! She's only a kid. Just needed a telling." Helmeppo said.

Morgan grunted and spun to face one of his men. "YOU! Go to town and kill that brat. She broke the law and has to suffer the consequences!"

"Sir?" The marine questioned.

"And since the law says anyone associated with a criminal is automatically faced with the same punishment. Execute her family as well!"

"I refuse! She's just a little girl!"

The other men backed away. Morgan's focused completely on the man.

"What was that captain? Remember that you being a lower rank means you have 'no' right to refuse my order. Now.....go to town, and kill them!"

"Never." The marine captain said without hesitation.

So Morgan killed him without hesitation.

He cleaved a massive bloody wound through the mans back and out his front. Making sure he'd never get up again.

Morgan grinned at the horror on the faces of all present. Satisfied with their fear.

"With this arm I was able to rise above the rest and become a lieutenant commander. I am the highest officer at this base, I am the greatest one here! If I told you to execute the entire town for treason you would do so without a moments notice! Is that understood!!??!"

"........."

"IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!!!" He yelled and raised his Axe to glint in the sun.

"SIR YES SIR!"

Satisfied with his 'minions' response the maniac turned to his twenty foot 'ego' extension. "This statue is a symbol of my power! Finished after years upon years of work to stand at the highest point over this town, casting my shadow over it to make sure they never forget who is in charge here!"

Meanwhile back on the ground Luffy was quite surprised to see not a single marine. He wasn't too worried about the execution grounds since Zoro was securely tied by, but nobody guarding the front doors? That was just weird. He put his hand to his brow and scouted for anyone, anyone at al before spotting something moving on the roof.

"Looks likes someones up their." Said Luffy, black smoke rising from him. "Now to just get myself up to them.

Back on the roof Morgan barked out commands to raise his statue quickly. Unfortunately for one marine pulling on the rope tied around the admirals right arm the statue was placed in a way that lifting it up caused it so smack into the stair house (2). Lightly chipping a few of the commanders fingers.

Morgan sputtered. "Did you just damage my statue!?"

The marine swallowed and cringed. "Sorry lieutenant Morgan. I was careless!

"I'LL SHOW YOU CARELESS!!!" Shouted the amputee and swung his Axe hand at the marine. The marine, in a bid to stay alive let go of the rope just as Morgans blade of death past over him. Now bearing an unexpected extra weight the other marines holding the arm weren't able to hold on and let go as the rope burned their fingers.

Just as they scrambled to pull at statue back up before the lieutenant can get any angrier, a thick 'darkness' shot up onto the roof, spreading like a virus, lapping at their feet like water only 'much' colder.

"What the..." Morgan started only to be interrupted by another, much louder voice.

"WAAAHOOOO!!!"

Suddenly everything it touched started to feel an enormous pressure of them. Marines with their feet bathed in it yelped as it was like their shoes were rapidly shrinking with their feet inside them, bodies were being dragged away from their positions towards the center of the roof top, cracks started to appear on all tiles and some even got pulled out to join the men in the roofs center. Then to Morgans horror lines appeared all over his statue as it was being slowly dragged back and up. As though it were aging centuries in seconds. (3)

"Not my statue!" He pleaded, but it was to late. Marines could no longer keep their footing and jumped from their positions to try fruitlessly to pull their feet out, letting the statue go just as something came rocketing up and somersaulting, landing in front of the falling statue right before it snapped in half with a reverberating ***CRACK***.

It was tears all around for the marines. Morgan oddly enough stood like a statue, his good hand reaching out to where the whole statue used to be as if to call it back to him, tears brimming in his eyes. The others were no less selfish in their sadness. The commander was gonna kill them, and with their feet feeling as though they'd been held in vices they didn't think they could get very far before he attacked them like a berserk animal.

The darkness receded back into Luffy just as he landed. Looking back at the damage he had caused to the clearly expensive statue, then to the men on the ground rubbing their aching legs. He scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. Just as the top half of the statue hit the ground and shattered into a thousand pieces

"Opp's. Sorry bout that. I'm not to good If I can't see where I'm going."

His statue. His beautiful, beautiful statue...............rrrrRRRRRAAAAGGHHHH!!!!

"GET HIM!!! I WANT HIM DEAD!!!

"AYE SIR!"

Helpmeppo recovered from his own shock to point out something his dad most likely still didn't care about. "THATS HIM! THATS THE ONE THAT HIT ME! I TOLD YOU HE WAS NO GOOD!!!"

"Helmet hair?" Luffy said before grabbing onto the front of the skinny teens arm and dragged him to the stairs. "I've been looking for you."

"AFTER HIM!!!" Morgan shouted. Sending several of his men after the two. One just as he was about to follow after, spotted something done on the ground. "Sir, another persons entered the yard. It looks like their untying Zoro."

Morgan grit his teeth under his iron mask. "Kill him! I won't stand any more insubordination!"

"Aye sir." Said the marine reluctantly and took aim with his flintlock.

* * *

"What are you doing? They'll kill you on the spot if they catch you." Said Zoro to the bespectacled boy untying his restraints.

"You haven't done anything wrong. Your only here because you stood up for someone. If I want to be a great marine someday then I have to show the same determination that Luffy does in wanting to be pirate king!"

"Pirate king! You can't be serious?!"

"Heheheh. I know. I thought he was just being stupid when he told me. But he's really planning on..."

***BANG***

Time seemed to slow down. It didn't hurt really, more like an itch that was spreading through a very specific part of him. Followed by a much quicker numbness. Koby didn't even feel himself falling back, see the look on Zoros face, or wetness spreading across his skin. All he saw was a creeping blackness like Luffys powers cover his vision. Knowing what it meant

'Hee, typical.'

Then, he thought no more.

That's 'would' be a nice and dramatic ending.

Sadly....

"IIIEEEE!! I'VE BEEN SHOT! I'M BLEEDING!!! I'M GONNA DIE!" The former cabin boy screamed while clutching his shoulder

* * *

While this was going on Luffy was dragiing the hapless Helmeppo through the base like a child dragging a doll. Causing enormous friction burns up the idiots back.

"Okay Helmet head. Tell me where Zoro's katana is!"

"OW, OW, OKAY. Just stop dragging me!"

The straw hatted boy stopped abruptly and raised him by his collar, sobbing and sweating like a coward.

"They're in my room. Were past it awhile ago"

***whack***

"Why didn't you say so earlier!"

"Y-y-you d-didn't say why you were dragging me."

"...Oh right."

"Freeze!" Three marines called out behind the two. Put your hands over you heads

Luffy grinned. "I've got a better idea."

The world went black.

* * *

"You have to leave! They'll kill you if your seen here." Said Zoro to Koby, who despite the bullet in his shoulder and the red liquid pouring from the wound from effort was still unbinding the taller man from the post.

"And they'll kill you if you stay here!" Koby replied.

That caught the swordsman's attention. "What are you talking about? That kid said if I stay here for a month they'll untie me."

"He was lying. That's why Luffy came back here. Your getting executed in three days!"

Zoro just stared at the boy. Wide eyed in shock.

"The navy won't just let you off the hook. That's why I have to get you free so you can help Luffy. I won't force yu to join him. But together we all might be able to escape this town..."

"YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"

"...Or not." Koby said miserably

Meanwhile Luffy had made it to Helmeppos room, which was surprisingly spartan given the boys personality. In the corner was the prize Luffy sought. The only problem was it was there times three.

"Which ones Zoro's? Hey you took it from him so which one is it.

"Gaaaaaaaah." Helmeppo foamed in response.

"Aw man you fainted? I might just have to take all of em." He said, dropping his hostage like a potato sack and grabbed the three weapons under his arm. Making a break for the door when he heard something from outsde. Checking through the window he saw that axe handed guy barking orders at marines who were aiming rifles at Koby and Zoro.

"You three have caused me a lot of grief." Said Morgan in a calm but powerful tone. "If I'm to keep my hold on this town complete then I can't have bugs like you around. First you two then I'll take care of that idiot who broke my statue Men, ready!"

The grunts in front of them cocked the hammer of their guns.

"Aim!"

The guns were lowered and pointed right at the two.

Ordinarily Zoro wasn't big on fear. He knew he could take anybody in a straight up fight. Unfortunately this wasn't a straight up fight. He was tied down and about to be shot. With a very big guarantee that he won't live past the next 10 seconds.

This couldn't be the end! He still had so much to accomplish. He couldn't die until he fufilled his promise.......................uh............I'm sorry. They're was supposed to be a flashback there explaining the promise Zoro made to his dead friend to be the greatest swordsman in the world......well a more elaborate one than that at least.

Lets just move on with the story.

I am not lazy!

So anyway. Koby and Zoro stared down the marines. Not beliving it could end this soon. Their dreams, over before they started.

"FIRE!" Morgan yelled.

The marines pulled the triggers. The last sound the two would ever likely hear. The balls of metal flew at them, and as they were halfway to their target targets, they met a third target.

Luffy, billowing massive amounts of fire less smoke reaching to the heavens was in front of his two friends. The bullets trapped in the infinite vacuum of his powers. Zoro's swords stashed under his arms.

"It's no use!" Said Luffy with a confident grin.

The marines fell onto their rears and backed away in shock. Zoro eyes were no longer hidden in the shadow of his bandanna from being so wide. Axe hands settled for having his eyes pop out into the shape of eggs.

"What are you!?" Asked Zoro in a breathless voice.

Luffy gave him a cocky grin. "The man who's going to be the pirate king." He heft the swords into view of his hopeful first mate. "You never told me what it looked like, so which ones your's."

Zoro looked the swords over for a moment. "They all are. I'm a Santoryu user, so I use all three blades."

Now Luffy and Koby had a fair number of questions about that. Namely how he managed to use all three at once without looking stupid. That however is something better left unsaid for the moment.

"So since your technically a criminal now, whats say you join my crew. Unless you'd rather I didn't block the shots.

Zoro snorted. "I don't know what the hell you are. But you have I point. If I'm already a criminal then I may as well go all the way. And be a pirate!"

Luffy whooped for joy. He now had his first crew mate.

Meanwhile the marines were standing around like idiots. Staring at the boy who was billowing what could only be called blackness from his body. What happened to the bullets? They fired their guns, a wall of inky darkness appeared in the way taking in the metal balls, then the boy appeared from inside it.

Morgan understood. "No doubt. That kid must have eaten a devil fruit. And a powerful one at that"

That didn't settle his mens fears any. Though it didn't make them run as most would, they were caught between a rock and a hard place with their ill tempered boss and this super powered freak.

"Well what are you waiting for? If bullet don't work then cut him down!" The lieutenant yelled.

The ensigns nodded and unsheathed their blades. Taking advantage of the boy being so focused on untying his new friend which he looked to be having difficulty with.

"Hey I got one." He cheered. Just as rain of steel descended on his back.

"The next one to move. Dies."

To answer the question the two younger boys thought earlier. The one about how Zoro could use three blades without looking stupid. The answer was simple.

He didn't.

He blocked six blades with three. Two with a sword in each hand, and one clenched between his teeth.

Yeah not stupid looking at all.

"Okay smokestack." He said referring to Luffy. "Either way after today I'm going to be a wanted man, so now it doesn't matter if I'm a pirate or not. But that doesn't mean I don't have my own goals."

Luffy listened intently.

"I'm going to be the worlds best swordsman! Nothing else matters to me! I'll go with you, but if you do anything that hinders my dream, I'll slice you open. Understand!"

Luffy could only smile in response. "You kidding? I wouldn't want any less from someone on the crew of the pirate king."

"Heh. Well said."

Of course their was still the matter of the marines bearing down on them. So since we haven't heard from Morgan in a while....

"WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING AROUND?! KILL THEM"He yelled.

Luffy grinned wide and flung his arms forward.

The darkness coming from him expanded, bulging outwards to look like a mushroom, then he gave a cry of.

"REALESE!"

Four forms shot out of the darkness with the speed of cannon fire. Bowling over the sword wielding m navy men and freeing Zoro from his precarious position.

Morgan couldn't believe what he saw. Not only were his men being taken down, they looked to have been taken down by his other men. Four new bodies lay on the field where they're should have only been six. Three were ensigns and the other being his onion haired son.

"That was amazing Luffy." Koby cheered. Grateful for not having his career ended before it started.

"What the hell are you?" Questioned Zoro.

Luffy gave him his ever present grin and flared with powers a little more. Making the blackness writhing around his form dance angrily.

"I am a darkness man." He said

"A darkness man?!" coward one marine.

"We couldn't beat one of them let alone both." Another said.

"We have to run away!"

"TRAITORS!!!"

The complaining and cowering went silent as Axe hand Morgan himself moved through the crowd of failed men. Too disgusted with them to even met their eyes. When he was directly in front of the crowd he turned his head to the side slightly to address them.

"Whoever said those things. Blow your f***king brains out!!!"

Silence.

"I SAID DO IT!!!"

Luffy, Koby and Zoro couldn't believe their eyes when they saw that the marines really were planning to go through with it. Lifting their guns to their heads and letting tears fall.

"LUFFY!" Shouted Koby.

"I know." The dark boy replied and darted at the true source of all the chaos.

***WHAM***

Morgan grunted in pain as Luffy's surprisingly powerful fist came in contact with his axe-arm. Then with strength belaying his appearance forced the larger man back quite a few feet to come to a skidding halt.

"If your gonna execute anyone today, then you better make it me!"

That attack did the trick. The marines guns now hung loosely in the hands at the sight of someone actually fighting the feared lieutenant.

"How dare you! Who do you think you are you little nameless whelp? Thinking you can face the great Lieutenant Axe man Morgan!" Said Morgan, throwing of his jacket and charging Luffy like a mad bull.

"Names Luffy. Nice ta met you."

"SHUT UP!" The massive man screamed and flung his arm out in a sweeping arc at the boy. If Luffy hadn't jumped at the last second he'd have been cleaved in two.

The blow was enormously powerful. Missing Luffy completely but the pressure of it was strong enough to slice through and entire link fence like a hot knife through butter, and demolish a concrete wall without being anywhere near it.

Luffy, now in mid air took this opportunity to slam both feet into Morgans face and springboard off it. Landing a safe distance away.

"That attack sure was fast." He commented. "I wasn't prepared for something that big to be so quick."

Lifting himself off the ground Morgan charged the boy again. Grabbing the long protrusion from his elbow and lifting his arm high over his head.

"DIE!!!" He screamed and brought his arm down on Luffy's head.

The sound of people drawing their breath came as loud as anything you could imagine as the Lieutenants massive weapon arm embedded itself in Luffy's head. Dread filled the marines as they realized that their one glimmer of hope in so many years had faded into a fountain of blood.

Except....their was no blood.

"Gotcha."

Hearts soared as they realized as if by some miracle the boy was not dead. They didn't know how considering he should have been twins by know but the hell they were complaining.

Morgan found he could not move his arm, he pulled and pulled for all his (self believed) worth to free himself. The axe wouldn't budge.

"This is the arm you used to make people fear you isn't it." Luffy said quietly so no-one but the crook marine would hear his dark tone. "Lets see how you do without it."

He felt movement, but not the way he wanted. His Axe was being pulled in, buckling and cracking as the blade thrice as wide as the logia users head compacted to be pulled into the darkness. Morgan cried out in an octave one shouldn't be able to reach after puberty when a particularly violent jerk on his part twisted his arm in a way it shouldn't go.

Those watching watched in morbid fascination at the large point in the commanders arm started to go soft, the Axe handle that had once occupied it was being pulled out roughly, saved only by the bolts that secured the weapon which were already starting to be pulled as well. Those few inch's of scraping and splintering felt like an eternity to Morgan before the Axe head buckled, crumpled and was competently pulled into the darkness. Morgan felt a tightness clench around the stump of his hand then nothing.

The lieutenant once more found himself lying flat on his back. The Blade of his Axe now gone and all that remained was a splintered handle and a crushed metal stump that looked like it was torn as easily as aluminum foil. The boy picked him up by the front of his shirt, an inky fist poised at his face.

"WAIT!!!" A voice yelled out.

Luffy didn't listen.

***WHAM***

Morgans jaw cover buckled under the force of the punch. He was sent clear across the courtyard, crashing into and through the warning sign he'd put up and into another chain link fence where he hovered for a moment and finally crashed back to the ground. Out of it.

"I TOLD YOU TO WAIT!!!"

Helmeppo had managed to revive. Albeit covered in large wounds. A big black eye, busted lip and probably had more blood on him than nin him at this point,. He'd managed to get a hold of Koby and hold a pistol to his head while using the boy as a shield.

"DON'T ANYONE MOVE!!!" He screamed out. Not even trying to hide the fear in his voice. "ANYONE COME NEAR ME AND I'LL BLOW THIS GUYS HEAD OFF! I'M LEAVING!!!"

Helmeppo's words were only background noise. The world faded out til the only ones left were Koby and Luffy. Staring into each others eyes with such intensity that you might think they were looking into the others soul.

"LUFFY! TAKE THIS GUY DOWN!!!" Koby yelled to his friend.

"WHAT!?" Helmeppo squaked in surprise "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

Luffy smiled. Raising a finger in the direction of the two, his hand giving off the faintest wisp of smoke.

Helpmeppo clung to Koby tighter. Cocking the flintlock. "DON'T BE STUPID! YOU DO THAT AGAIN AND YOU'LL HURT YOUR FRIEND"

"That's why I'm doing this! YAMI YAMI...."

Helmeppo squeezed the trigger.

...BULLET!!!" (4)

From out of his finger fired a sphere of darkness, no bigger than buckshot. Flying at the helmet headed idiot faster than any man made projectile and striking Helmeppo right in the shoulder before he could fully pull the trigger.

The commander's son screamed in pain as the bullet of pure gravity tore through his arm, it's intense gravitational powers pulling at his insides hard enough to tear tissue from tissue. Forcing him to drop the gun were it discharged into the ground harmlessly, the force of the dark shot sent Helmeppo flying back to land in a heap.

"No problem." Said Luffy. Holding his finger like a gun.

Instead of looking relived Koby still looked scared. Looking over Luffy's shoulder.

"WATCH OUT!"

Morgan had taken advantage of everyone concentrating on his son so sneak up on Luffy, pulling out a knife he kept secured to himself for emergencies to cut the boys head in two like he should have done before.

It never came, before the officer could even bring the knife down Zoro was already behind him, his three blades wet before the giant man could even fall.

"Nice one Zoro." Complimented Luffy.

Zoro nodded since he couldn't smile with a sword in his mouth. "Anytime captain." Yet he could still talk coherently. Weird.

"Y-you defeated the Lieutenant" Stuttered a beyond shocked marine who had been watching from a distance. The rest of the bases forces had managed to gather a while ago, but had not dared interfere with the fight.

Zoro gripped the swords in his hands that much tighter. "You want to take us in? Come and get us!"

The marines all looked at each other. Conversing without words. Before everyone reached a decision.

"YYYEEESSS!!!"

"WERE FREE!!!"

"MORGANS REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER!!!"

They throw their unloaded guns into the air. Swords clatter to the ground as the normally strict and serious marines danced and sang like pirates in celebration. They're feared commander had been taken down.

The pirates and soon to be marine watched the celebration. Surprise was the furthest ting from they're minds.

"I knew they didn't like how Morgan acted." Said Zoro.

"Yeah. This is what you get when pirates 'or' marines treat their men like dirt." Added Luffy

Koby didn't say anything. His beliefs in the standings of the navy and pirates in the world had taken a royal pounding over the last few days. Maybe the world wasn't as black and white as the government would have you think.

He didn't put much more thought into that though. Zoro collapsing taking priority and all.

* * *

"Ahhhhhh." A very contented, and 'normally' scary man leaned back in his chair after filling his belly to bursting. Very happy to have ended his nine day fast. "That hits the spot. If I didn't eat anything any longer I swear I'd have starved to death."

"Then you were just bluffing when you said you'd survive a month." Said Luffy while swallowing the last of his two plates of food

"Don't push it Luffy!" Zoro stared his ignorant captain down.

"Sorry to be imposing on you like this." Apologized the only non pirate out of the three. Speaking of course to Rika's mother who had offered to feed them as thanks.

She just waved him off. "Nonsense. You saved the town after all. Just ask those outside."

That was true. It looked like everyone in town was waiting to see the 'gallant heros' who had taken down Morgan and Helmeppo. Going as far as to press their faces against the windows to get a better look. Watching the trio with stars in their eyes.

"Yeah. Your all so strong!!!" Chirped Rika. Happier than she had been in a long time.

"That's nothing. I'm gonna get even stronger later!"

"Speaking of later. What are your plans exactly? We can't just float about the ocean after all." Zoro commented.

***Snort*** "Well that's a dumb question. I'm heading to the grand line."

Koby's chair clattered against the floor when he took to his feet. Slamming for palms on the table. "Are you still talking about that?! I've already told you how bad an idea that is. The strongest pirates in the world gather there. Most die days after they reach it!"

"Grand line huh? Yeah I figured if your aiming for the top you'd want to go their." Said Zoro

'Nobodies listening to me.' Thought Koby while to little streams rolled down his cheeks. "*Sigh* Look, even though I'm not going with you I'm still worried about you guy's. Because....be..cause even though we...we just met."

Luffy knew what he was saying. "We'll always be friends Koby."

"R-really!"

Nod.

A lump rose in his throat. A sob. "Wow. I've never had friends before. No one would ever stand up for me. But...." His hands clenched and a confident grin spread across his face. "...Now thanks to you. I'm going to live my dream!"

Luffy nodded. "Right. Of course it may be difficult joining the navy, being a pirate and all."

"Ehh? What do you mean. I'm not a pirate."

"No? Doesn't being a cabin boy on Alvida's ship count?"

"Er......uh oh."

Zoro added his two Beri. "The marines are great at gathering info on people. If they as find out you've worked on a pirate ship, forced or not they'll arrest you."

'Anyone associated with known pirates in any way will be charged with aiding in piracy regardless of the nature of association.' That was one of the big laws Koby had memorized. If they found out he'd been a pirate crew member he could be looking at a lengthy prison sentence even if he was forced.

***Knock knock***

"Come in." Said Rika's mother.

The door opened up and much to Koby's encroaching horror the acting marine commander stepped in. Faceless marines in their dozens standing just outside behind him.

"Sorry to be so abrupt. However givn that you so readily attacked a known marine officer, we were wondering if you were really pirates.

"Well me and Zoro are if that's what you mean." Luffy said without caution of worry.

"I see." The marine said evenly "Well this brings us to a conundrum. Even though you are pirates you saved us, for which we are grateful. However as marines we can't allow you to stay in this town any longer. So it is my duty to ask you to leave, because we 'will' be reporting todays incident to headquarters."

The din of the townsfolk outside was deafening. People were outraged at the marines at treating they're saviors so callously.

Luffy understood though. If they wanted rid of Morgan they needed to report Marineford about everything that happened today. It wouldn't be in the towns interests if they were seen being friendly with pirates.

"Alright. C'mon Zoro lets go. Thank you for the food ladies."

The two got up from the table, ignoring the sad faces of all the townspeople watching from near and far and headed for the door. Passing Koby as if he wasn't there.

"Hey wait." The marine said noticing the pink haired boy wasn't following them. "Aren't you with them."

It was the hardest question Koby had ever been asked. Does say yes and destroy his dreams? Or say no and leave the only friends he's ever had?

'We'll always be friends Koby.'

"I...I'M NOT WITH THEM!!!"

The officer stared down at the boy. His statement a tad 'too' loud not to be suspicious.

"Is this true?" The marine asked Luffy.

"Mmm, well he's not with us. But I know what this guy 'used' to do."

'Luffy! What are you doing!?' Koby broke out into a sweat.

Luffy hefted his arms to his size to represent great girth. "Ya see he used to go with this reeeealy fat pirate. I think her name was Albiba or something."

"Stop." He whispered. If Luffy said anymore they'd never let him fulfill his dream. He looked at the officer who much to his horror seemed to be absorbing everything.

Luffy walked right up to Koby, finger almost touching his forehead. "Yeah, a fat ugly crone. I heard him say he'd been with her for t...."

"SHUT UP!!!"

***WHACK***

He didn't know what happened. One second he was shaking in fear, the next he was seeing red, his fist hurt and Luffy was rubbing bruising cheek.

"Why you!" Luffy retalitated with a punch of his own to Koby's jaw.

The marine was as Luffy beat the snot out of Koby, until the boy collapsed on the floor and Luffy's next punch was being held back by him.

"Thats enough! It's now painfully clear that he's not associated with you! Now leave this town now!!!" He pointed out the door. A message which Luffy and Zoro gladly took.

The bespectacled boy knew why his friend did it. That only made him feel worse, he'd never down anything helpful. This entire journey he'd done nothing but play the helpless tag along, the one that needs rescuing. If he ever wanted to see Luffy again that needed to change.

He pushed himself up, getting the captains attention. He straightened himself up and then threw his head back down.

"PLEASE SIR! LET ME JOIN THE NAVY!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS, I JUST WANT TO JOIN!!!"

He could feel the weight of dozens of eyes on him.

He had a dream like this once. Except it was night, and he was in his underwear.

"I don't trust him sir." Said one marine. "He could be a pirate spy."

Okay now this situation was 'worse' than the dream.

"NO!" He found himself shouting. "IT'S MY DREAM TO BE A MARINE!!!"

The distrustful marine backed away from the conviction in the boy's voice. The steel and determination were evident for all to see.

The captain nodded and headed for the door. "Don't think we don't know about you, Alvida pirate cabin boy....'

'What!?'

'...But I will still allow you to join. Don't make me regret this decision.'

Koby didn't hear the man after the 'but'. The angels trumpeting in his ear made it a touch hard to.

* * *

"That was a nice thing to do captain." Said Zoro while trying to make himself comfortable in the small dinghy.

"Hey, he promised that he'd be an admiral by the time I'm pirate king. I''m just making sure that happens.

"LUFFY!!!"

The two turned to see Koby standing their. Arm in a sling and missing a front tooth.

'Maybe I hit him a liiiiiitle hard' Luffy thought.

A look from Zoro confirmed that.

Koby caught his breath. Then stood rigid and brought his palm to his brow.

"THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!! WE WILL DEFINETLY MEET AGAIN!!!"

"YEAH!!!" Cheered Luffy.

"Well look at that. Never seen a marine salute a pirate before. This might just be an interesting adventure after all." Said Zoro.

Of course he meant the twenty odd 'actual' marines standing behind the initiate. Bidding their final farewells along with cheering townsfolk to their hero's.

"You have some interesting friends boy." Said the commander. Saluting the pirates alongside him.

Koby nodded. Crying and smiling at the same time.

So our brave adventurer set off. Leaving old friends (by comparison) and gaining a new, Luffy sails for the next island to find adventure, treasure, and hopefully a new crew member for their journey to the grand line.

Now then....what are the chances that two muscle brained idiots in a 10 by 3 foot boat with all the directional sense of Ryoga Frickin' Hibiki and no provisions can find an island before they starve?

I thought so.

* * *

End chapter

* * *

OMAKE PIECE

OKAMA OMAKE: PART 2

It had been a long time since he'd felt relief. When he wasn't being stabbed and cut and chased every second of the day and life was nothing but one never ending cycle of pain.

John Tannenbaum had been a relatively low level pirate. Serving as just another sword for another no name captain who thought he could survive more than a week on the grand line. Well he did in fact last longer. By about a half hour, 32 minutes into the 8th day of voyage the captain was killed, the boat smashed and the crew left to be captured by the marines on the island they'd been forced to float over to.

Due to his record of kills being ever so slightly higher than several other members of the crew John earned a spot in the crimson forest. Being chased by demons and poisonous animals for most of the day, with rest being allowed when he was to tired for it to be fun for the guards to chase him anymore.

A short while ago he'd heard a rumor from among the prisoners about a secret floor. One without all the pain and suffering you were forced to endure on a constant basis. A story about phantoms that come and steal you away when the guards backs are turned, and those taken are never seen again.

Of course he didn't believe in such a thing as phantoms. A lackey he may have been but stupid he was not. He'd spent weeks checking the walls of the floor he was on. Patting his hands against the

stone bricks to check for looseness while making it look like pathetic crawling. Finally after so many weeks he'd managed to find a loose slab in the wall. Waiting for the guards to let him sleep before 'demoning' himself away.

You have no idea how good it feels to not to have your feet shredded all day every day by grass. After moving the bricks back he must have stayed in that spot for hours. Never more than a few feet between him and hell. Letting his aching feet stop bleeding for the first time in what felt like forever.

After a while he got up onto his tired feet and hobbled down the tunnel. Clinging to the walls for support.

As he went further and further down the cavernous tunnels he began to hear a faint yet constant sound. With each step the sound grew louder and louder. If he had to guess he'd say it almost sounded like....

"Club music?" He wondered aloud.

He headed further and further down into the hidden bowels of the prison. Eventually finding a door with the music pounding out of it. He stood in front of it for a few minutes. Unsure of what he'd find on the other side.

Logically of course he knew he had no choice. It was either go inside or stay in the tunnel for the rest of his life.

Steeling himself he raised his hand and wrapped on the door.

***KNOCK.........KNOCK***

The music stopped with uncomfortable quickness. Slowly the door creaked open and a most bizarre head popped out. It was a woman, and in most circles she'd be considered attractive. That is without the several pounds of makeup she was wearing that made her look more clown than human. Below her head was a man who strangely enough had the same problems with makeup overuse.

The womens face lit up instantly. "Well well. A new arrival! Iva-chan will like this!" She giggled.

"Indeed baby." Said the man before reaching out and pulling John in.

The dark world exploded into blinding technicolour. Music began belting out once again as everyone rushed to greet the newest arrival.

"Welcome honey!"

"How's it going."

"What level you from sweety?"

Questions came at him hard and fast from both the fashionably challenged men and women. Each wearing vastly different ranges of clothing from smart to outrageous. With 99% of them completing the look with fishnet tights.

After being poked and prodded for about 10 minutes John managed to break away from them and get several feet of personnel space.

"What the hells going on! Are you going to explain anything to me?"

"Off course John-chan. All you had to do is ask

The lights dimmed except for the stage lights focused on the platform in question. Slowly the curtains raised showing several over stocking wearing men and.........Oh no.

The giant of a man in drag that looked like a Frank N Furter bobble head held up the microphone to his heavily painted lips. Ready to knock the crowd of their feet.

Oh no.

The dancers gryrated to the music, just as it changed rhythm and beat to a very familiar tune.

No!

Imporio Ivankov. The queen of all Okama took in a deep breath and let the music take him.

"_HOW D'YOU DO, I SEE TH....."_

"SSSTTTOOOPPP!!!"

The entire room quieted down at Johns outburst. The man quite clearly angry.

"Excuse me John-chan!? It's rude to yell when people are trying to sing." Ivankov said clearly affronted.

"Don't care! I'm not being apart of this."

"Of the Okama kingdom?" A resident said. "But you only just...."

"NO! I meant this stupid joke! It's been done!"

The okama all broke out in sweat.

"It's not that bad." Said another.

" Really?" Said John sarcastically. "You don't find the guy clearly inspired by the rocky horror picture show singing 'sweet transvestite' the least bit too obvious a thing to do?"

"Uuuuhhhhhhh." The room echoed.

"Look. I like a joke as much as the next guy. But theirs a line between reconising a charecter from somewhere and having the parody shoved down your throat! Enough is enough!"

The collected Okama absorbed that information. Ivankov slowly put down his microphone.

"Alright John-chan. What do you suggest?

"Welllll."

* * *

"_I'M JUST A MEAN GREEN MOTHER FROM OUTER SPACE__" _Ivankov dressed in a green leafy costune sang on stage.

The other men and women watched the show with some discomfort. With John being no better.

"This is better how?" Said the woman who greeted him at the door

"_SO GIVE IT UP, IT'S ALL OVER A__CE"_

John shrugged. "I didn't say it was better. Just that people wouldn't expect it."

The woman looked puzzled. "Then why..."

"_MEAN AND GREEN"_

"Shh. This is the best part." John said and turned back to the stage for the song climax.

"_AND I AM BAD." _The okama queen in green screamed into the mike in duet with the choir.

The woman sighed "Aw sh*t."

* * *

(1) Luffy's capacity to eat so much lay primarily in his ability to stretch his stomach to ridiculous proportions, allowing him to eat more. Now without that ability he's stuck with an ordinary human stomach. Although he does eat more than others it's still not as much as a rubber gutted one.

(2) The little building on a roof top that houses the stairs.

(3) I tried to come up with a way for Luffy to do what he did in the original canon with his new powers. So I came up with this. Luffy can create and control darkness right? Well I made it so he can control the gravity of anywhere his darkness is. For example, Luffy used his powers to cover the roof, then increased the gravitational pull in that area. Then anything his powers touched (i.e marines, roof tiles, the statue, and him since he's where the darkness is coming from) is pulled towards it. Meaning he was attracted to that location using his own power. This is also how he got between the marines, Koby and Zoro before they were shot.

(4) My answer to a lack of ranged attacks from the Yami Yami no mi. Basically it's like firing a tiny, low powered black hole. Rather than tearing through something like an ordinary bullet it's creates a space space of heavy gravity. Pulling at anything it couch's painfully towards a central point, like it or they are partially imploding. Well either that or I make it a bullet of darkness that draws anything it touches into Luffy's dark space where he stores everything until releasing it. That seems a lot deadlier than something Luffy would do in my opinion however.

Now some of you may be wondering how I've been able to get a chapter like this out so quickly. Well it's because of one thing. I typed this one directly onto a word document. The others I tend to write on a pad then type up, which is more tedious and annoying than you'd think. Besides the others are more originals, while this ones more of or less following the original story with a twist.

It 'may' alter more as the story progresses.

Plus I've had two weeks off from work this past while so that's helped

I have to apologies for the Omake. I wrote something last chapter that I later realized was harder to make funny than you'd think. I originally planned for the okamas to sing 'time warp' and literally drive him insane, then Ivankov to come in singing 'sweet transvestite' only to find his audience foaming at the mouth. But I felt that breaking the fourth wall might have been better.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I've posted a challenge relating to this story on my profile, if your interested then take a look. If not then no problem.

All reviews will be read and all opinions and criticism will be listened to as long as it is constructive.

Stay tuned for the next chapter


	5. Chapter 5: The thief

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece or any chareceters mentioned that are existing trademarks and/or copyrights.

Chapter 5: The thief

"_You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to watch out for. Because you never can predict when their about to do something incredibly stupid"_ - Jack Sparrow.

* * *

Like I said last chapter. Going out to see without a sense of direction or any provisions is not the smartest thing in the world to do. Especially if your known to eat several times the amount of a normal human being. So it was no wonder that Luffy was on his back, twitching in hunger.

"So hungry." He moaned.

Zoro rolled his eyes at his new captain. He was hungry to but he wasn't complaining about it. He was to busy complaining about Luffy's idiocy.

"For the last time. Use you powers to pull in some fish." He said in an annoyed tone.

"Can't I can only pull in what I can see." The young captain said tiredly.

"Can't you just pull in a lot of water and sort out the food? We can't just keep floating about without rations."

Luffy shook his head. "I've tried that before. The fish always end up an uneatable pile of gut's. Unless you want me to try and drag up a sea king." (1)

Zoro growled and shook his head "Well we wouldn't even be in this mess if you could actually sail us to the nearest island. What kind of captain doesn't know how to navigate!"

"I don't see what the big deal is. Haven't you been doing the same? Floating about looking for bounties." Retorted Luffy.

"I only do that when I needed to eat. I left home to find a certain man. But when I realized I couldn't find my way home I had to find some form of work. They're isn't much out they're for a guy who can't stay in one place for long." Zoro lamented.

"Oh. So you're lost too." The captain of one said.

"..." Zoro just looked away. "This is ridiculous. If neither of us know how to navigate then we won't be able to survive the east blue let alone the grand line. The next member of our crew definitely needs to be our navigator."

"Aw really." Luffy pouted. "Cause I thought we could get our musician first, then our marksmen, then cook..."

"That's the reverse of how we need to do it!" Barked Zoro. Barely two hours at sea and he was already starting to be grated by his captains sheer idiocy.

An hour later the two were laid out on their backs. Both twitching as the last remnants of the meal they ate in town faded away.

"Zoro." Luffy whispered out.

"Yeah." Said Zoro in no louder a tone.

"Are we gonna die?"

"Probably." He answered.

"Kay." Luffy said simply.

Then a sound that was like heavens song rose over the lapping of the waves. Or close enough to a starving man.

A gull.

"FOOD!" Luffy shouted. Shooting up onto his feet and raising his hand towards the bird.

"Careful captain. I heard it's bad luck for a sailor to kill a gull."

Of course Luffy wasn't listening to anything that wasn't his stomach. Darkness formed in his hand and began to twist around like a whirlpool.

"YAMI YAMI GRAB!" (2)

The bird jerked violently in mid flight as it by immense gravitational force was pulled towards the starving teen. Luffy smiled and licked his lips at the thought of him soon eating. It didn't even occur to him that they had no way of preparing it...oh and the fact that the gull was the size of a grown man.

By the time that either of the food deprived pirates saw the mistake it was too late. Luffy stopped his power but not before the bird hit the mast, flailed about squawking in confusion before taking off, Luffy who had been trying to take a bite out of it grabbed hold of it and was carried off over seas.

"AAAHHH!" He cried out.

"Damn it!" The grass haired swordsmen grabbed the two newly replaced oars and started rowing after the bird. The water leaping twenty feet into the air with each stroke. Still the giant gull was pulling away from him quickly, his monstrous strength no match for the birds wings.

Zoro was not to be deterred however. He rowed harder and harder, his eyes focused square on the creature holding his flailing captain in it's beak. Not even stopping for the men drowning in his direct path.

"No time! Just grab on!" He shouted. Not slowing in the slightest.

The men were surprised to hear this but complied non the less. Just barely managing to latch onto the speeding dinghy just as it passed.

"*Pant* Thanks mister. We thought we were dead." The one with the curly hair.

"God thing you grabbed on before I hit you." Said Zoro, still not looking at them.

"What! He would have hit us? That's disreputable" Said the fat one.

"*SLAP* Shut up you meat head." Said the one with the black hat.

"OW! Why'd ya hit me?"

"For making yourself sound smarter than me. Now then." The leader pulled out a knife and held it to Zoro. The other two followed his lead and took out their hidden weapons.

Zoro's arms stopped dead in their tracks. Turning to face the trio with an even stair.

"Seriously?"

* * *

"Our deepest apologies. We had no idea that you were the great pirate hunter Zoro." The leader of the three said through a horribly battered face while his two equally beaten friends rowed with as much enthusiasm as he was putting into sucking up.

"Just shut up and row. You made me lose track of my friend with that stunt so put your backs into it." Zoro told the three stooges (3)

The leader nodded vigorously. "Of course sir." He looked at the other two sternly. "Alright you two. You heard the man so shake a leg."

The fat one looked at him oddly but complied, lifting his leg and dangling about. "Don't see what this has ta do with rowing."

"Oh wise guy huh." The leader said before grabbing his comrades ear and twisting.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW!"

"Yuck yuck yuck!" The curly haired one laughed.

"Laughing at a crew mates misfortune huh? ***POIK*** Hows that?" The lead pirate asked the guy whose eyes he just jabbed out.

"SHUT UP AND ROW!" Yelled Zoro. Having quite enough of these threes antics.

"Yes sir." The three chorused and straightened up.

Zoro watched the trio of shmucks for awhile. Making sure that they wouldn't try to turn on him again. "So. How did you end up in the sea anyway?"

The leader clenched his teeth "Grrr, It was that girl."

The curly haired one spoke up. "We'd just gotten some treasure from a boat we plundered. When we hear this call fer help see..."

The fat one continued "...This red haired babe in a boat all by herself, looking sick as a dog. She says she'll give us her treasure if we help her. We gets aboard, find the chest is empty and she's already getting away with our boat. Then sees storm clouds roll in and BOOM no more boat!"

The leader nodded. "Yeah. But the weird thing was she didn't look scared when we were in her boat. She knew that the clouds would roll in at that second and hit us."

'She could predict the weather that well? Sounds like I found us a navigator'.

* * *

Monkey D Luffy was normally a very carefree guy. The sort who never seemed to let anything get to him no matter what life throws at him he always just laughs it off.

Of course that would be difficult with his head trapped in a giant birds beak.

If he were on land he could easily pull it into his darkness. However doing that would leave his cursed self over a large stretch of the ocean with no-one to see him fall. He also knew he couldn't stay in this position since the fowl seemed dead set on closing it's mouth, crushing his head and treasured hat if not for his prying hands holding the beak open as well as keep him in the air.

While he struggled with the bird, he didn't even realize that they'd started flying over an island town.

Of course he realized seconds later when his feathered captor was blown out of the sky by cannon fire from a stupid looking ship nearby, and sent crashing to the ground below.

At that same time, a girl was being chased by men armed with swords. Easily outrunning them while they began to tire from chasing the younger and leggier girl. Moving past their exhaustion only because of the fear they held if they they returned to the ship without the map the girl had stolen.

They were just about to catch up (though a man was clutching his chest in agony) when an explosion overhead caught their attention, and something hit the ground hard enough to kick up dust and smoke.

"AAAGGHH! THAT HURT!" Cried out a young male voice.

The dust settled quickly. Revealing a boy slowly picking himself of the pavement. He looked lightly scorched and quite bruised, he also had some blood on him but it was difficult to tell if it was his.

"If I find the jerk who shot at me..." He said angrily.

While Luffy was imagining what he'd do to whoever fired that cannonball. The thief hatched a plan.

"Thanks boss!" She shouted out loud enough to bring attention back to her.

"Huh?" The four clueless men echoed.

She didn't bother standing to replay. She took off running and yelled back. "I'll leave everything to you Sir."

That knocked three of the four out of they're daze. Now towering over the boy. "Boss huh."

***BAM***

Luffy was knocked back by a left hook from one of the pirates. Knocking his hat off to be caught by another of the oddly dressed men.

"Hey not bad. I haven't seen one like this in y..."

***WHA-BOOM***

The two remaining pirates backed up when they saw their crew mate get hammered into a nearby house. Busting through wood and stone like tissue paper. Luffy with a fist still outstretched picked up his hat from the pavement and put it back on. Looking at the remaining two with uncharacteristic anger.

"Don't. Touch. My. Hat!"

* * *

Luffy dusted off his hands. Satisfied with the mangled state of the guys who dared to try and take his hat.

***Clap*** ***Clap*** ***Clap***

The logia user looked up to see a girl sitting on one of the building roofs. Smiling and applauding at the boys literal show of raw strength.

That pirate from before had been right about one thing. This girl was definitely attractive. She was slim and curvy, dressing in a white t shirt with horizontal blue stripes and a pale orange mid thigh skirt that showed her figure nicely. She had vibrant red hair that fell down to her neck which framed a cute face and deep down eyes filled with excitement and mischief.

"Your perfect! Exactly the sort of muscle I need for my business." She jumped down from her perch to land in front of Luffy, showing to be an inch or so taller than him. She stuck her hand out and smiled cutely. "I'm Nami. The thief who steals from pirates. And you are now officially my best friend."

Luffy just looked at her hand for a second. Friends with someone who steals from pirates? Fat chance. He turned away and walked of to explore the town. "Not interested."

"Aw don't be like that." She pouted. Putting her arms behind her back and leaning forward. This naturally was lost on the boy since he wasn't looking at her. Not used to a man ignoring her charms Nami followed after him. He might say no now, but she couldn't call herself a woman if she actually believed that.

Plus with the way that puddle in the wreckage was eying that hat earlier it's got to be worth a pretty penny.

She did so love pretty things.

* * *

At the town bar a party was going on.

Rum was flowing like water as men staggered about with only each other for support in what they thought was dancing. Singing songs that had no words or even a tune to hum by, but hey when your drunk even the most tin eared man was Sinatra. Men were laughing at jokes that hadn't been told and regaling each other with tales of their lives that they'd probably heard someone else had lived.

Two men though were not taking part in the merry making. In fact they were both angry beyond belief and scared beyond reason.

One man, a large fat one was on his knees begging for his life while his captain and lord of the town was staring down the end of his bulbous nose at him.

"Where is my map!" He said evenly but coldly.

"W-here in the muh-middle of searching captain Buggy. Well find your map shortly" The man groveled.

The captain growled. "You don't know how many throats I had to slit to get a hold of old Johns treasure map! The sheer amount of gold he buried is said to topped only by one piece!"

His underling scratched his head in embarrassment."Well sir. We accidentally left the key to the chest we were keeping the map in, in the lock. So now only the robber nose w..."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

"Uh? I I I s-said only t-the robber nose..."

"RUBBER NOSE!"

The pirate relieved himself when he realized why his captain was angry.

"Captain Buggy please. It's a mistake and ***GUH***." He began choking as he was pulled into mid air by a mysterious force.

"STEAK! YOU THINK IT LOOKS LIKE STEAK!"

"*GASP* N-NO PLEASE!"

"KILL HIM!" Snarled Buggy.

"NO! I WANNA LIV..."

***BBOOMM***

Whatever the cowardly pirate had to say was quelled by the introduction of a cannonball to his gut and the imminent incineration that followed.

Buggy sneered at the explosion. Not even a drop of blood escaped it as every trace of the former pirate was essentially erased from existence.

Captain Buggy the clown was not a pirate most would take seriously at first glance. In fact you'd probably think him a pirate themed circus performer. A red and white striped shirt. Orange captains jacket, sash and two point hat. He appeared to have long blue tassels coming out of the hat but that would actually be his bizarrely styled hair.

His unattractive face was also heavily painted. A pair of crossbones in the dead center of his forehead, bright red lips, and he finishing touch being a brightly painted red clown nose placed over his...oh wait thats 'real'.

Yes the one taboo that the Buggy pirates must never break. Never, ever talk about the captain big. Red. Nose.

It wasn't easy for Buggy to be a feared pirate. Especially since fear wasn't really what you'd think of when the criminal in question looked like Bozos unfunny bastard child. So he had to be extra ruthless even with his own men just so people's cheeks wouldn't bulge with held in laughter.

"Scour every inch of this town! Find that map, and while your at it plunder everything of value! I don't want so much as one screaming brat to be left with a single Beri!"

"Aye captain." Said his first mate.

* * *

"This is a really nice house. You must be a really good thief to afford all this." Said Luffy, sitting at the table of what he supposed was Nami's house.

"Nah." Nami corrected. "This place is like the rest of the town. Totally abandoned."

"So what happened to the people?"

Nami looked at him strangely. "Your kidding right? Everyone left to get away from that pirate Buggy and his crew."

'Buggy. Buggy. Mmmm didn't Shanks mention him once.' Wondered Luffy. Trying to dredge up a conversation he once had with his idol which for all he knew could have been 'I knew a guy named Buggy, the end.'.

Nami took the boys concentration for shock and fear "You've heard of him then. I don't know anyone who hasn't. A pirate with a short temper and a love of cannons is never a good thing. He'll destroy a whole town just for making fun of his nose. Not to mention that people say he's eaten one of the devil fruit, giving him a power no one outside his crew has lived to tell about!"

"Oh is that all." Luffy said brushing the threat off.

"This is no joke! Buggy could destroy the town. The people ran away as soon as they heard he'd docked!" Nami yelled in his face.

"I get it! And since your a thief your taking everything of value from these empty houses right."

Nami backed up a step, disgust on her face. "Thats horrible! I only steal from pirates!"

Luffy waved his hands in a warding gesture. "Calm down. I didn't know that."

The girl did just that taking a deep breath. Luffy continued. "So why are you a pirate robber anyway? I mean someone who robs pirates has to have a good reason, and it can't be to be a marine otherwise you'd do more than just call yourself a thief."

Nami looked at the straw hatted boy strangely. Quite unable to believe something to intelligent could come out of his mouth even after knowing his for barely a half hour.

"Well...if you want to know. I'm trying to raise a hundred million beri to buy a village." Nami said smiling.

"*whistle* A whole village. You'll be doing this for a long time before you get that much."

"No problem." She said and pulled out the map from...somewhere. "This is a map to the treasure of a grand line pirate I stole from Buggy. Pirates in that cursed sea carry more on them than every pirate in this blue put together. So I'll get enough cash to buy the village I want 10 times over with what I'll find. That is after I take whatever Buggy has" She said grinning.

Luffy shot her a half lidded expression. "Uh huh. Those guys have more money for a reason. You really want to go up against them?"

The grin on Nami's face didn't fade a bit. "That's why I'm asking you to team up with me. Between your strength and my navigation abilities theirs nothing we can't do!"

Luffy thought about that. Like for a nano second. He wasn't sure at first but the word 'navigator' sold him completely.

"ALRIGHT! You should join my pirate crew as the navigator. Then the grand line will be a cinch!"

'Pirate', The word jabbed into the red haired girls mind like a knife. A word she hated more than anything else in the word.

"Your...a pirate?" She whispered out.

Luffy nodded. "Yup, just started. You'll be my second crew member."

"NO WAY!" She screamed.

Luffy looked confused. "But I thought you wanted to join?"

"*HMPH* That was before I found out you were a pirate. If their one thing I can't stand it's pirates!" She marched up to him. "So I'll just take that valuable hat of yours and leave." She reached for the hat right before Luffy put his hand over it.

"No way! My hat is not valuable!" He shouted.

"Yeah right. Then why'd you pummel those guys for touching it?" She asked in a patronizing way.

"I meant it wasn't valuable like money wise." He took the straw head piece down and looked at it like one would a treasured childhood toy. "I got this from the man who inspired me to be a pirate, it's precious only to me. This hat is my promise to him to become a legendary pirate and return it to him."

Nami was so moved by the speech she just stared at him as if he'd a proud speech about how sunny it was today. Oh wait that doesn't count as being moved does it?

"*TCH* Like I believe a filthy pirate like you. PIRATES ARE THE SCUM OF THIS WORLD!"

"Come on, join my crew." Luffy said as though she hadn't just yelled her deepest feelings on the matter.

"I JUST SAID I...would love to join your crew." She said happily.

"Really!" Luffy said in kind.

The navigator nodded "Of course. Under a few conditions of course."

* * *

"YOU LOST HER!" Screamed out Buggy at the top of his lungs.

Three pirates more cadaver than man cowered away from their pissed off captain. Trying to placate him while ignoring their injuries. A difficult task considering they were black and blue enough to be mistaken as fish men.

"Captain it wasn't our fault. ***Cough***." Said one trying to keep his good lung down.

"Yeah. Her boss was freaky strong." Exclaimed another.

"Just look what he did to us." The last one said showing the clown captain which had more bad breaks in it than beginners night at a pool hall.

"SHUT UP AND DIE!" Was Buggy's reply. Signaling the cannon to be brought out to deal with the failures.

"Captain Buggy!" Called out another member of the crew, hoping to distract his captain from whittling down his crew even more.

"WHAT! What is it? I'm a little busy!" Growled out the big nosed pirate. Holding the cannon steady at his three soon to be ex underlings.

"That girl Nami's came back captain. And she has the map!"

Buggy glared at the clown painted man for a second. Then the cannon, the three he was about to kill. Then back to the cannon. Moaning indignantly he let go off the cannon and ushered them to let the thief in.

The roof's doors opened allowing the girl to enter followed by a young man in a red shirt, bound tightly in rope and looking around with irritation on his face. The three who had been moments from death jumped back in fear, then collapsed due to their legs being reduced to the strength of twigs.

"Th-thats him captain! Her boss who fell out of the sky and kicked the crap out of us!" Said one gibbering pile of jelly.

Buggy eyed the rope bound boy. He certainly didn't look all that threatening. In fact he hasn't seen anyone who looks less like a pirate since...maybe he should keep an eye on him.

Slowly he turned his attention from Luffy to the traitorous girl holding the rope. He knew better with this one since she was smart enough to outwit his men. Then again he didn't pick them because of any particular intelligence.

"So girl." He said dangerously "Why'd you come back? Did you realize that you possibly couldn't defeat me?"

"Nope!" She chirped with a smile.

The entire crew backed up several steps. Buggy's eyes narrowed.

"Then why"

She tilted her head to one side and smiled sweetly. Causing most of the crew to develop heart shaped eyes.

"I had an argument with my boss. He wasn't going to cut me in on the treasure. So I figured it'd be better if I joined you."

the Buggy pirates bugged out. Their eyes wide and their expressions blank. It was as though the girl had just told them the sky was green, the ocean was green and their captain had just been named the head of the marines.

Then as it filtered through to the walnut on a stick that the big nosed idiot called a brain, Buggy leaned back on his chair and gave a loud and hearty laugh. Soon joined by the rest of his men.

"HAHAHA! So he got greedy did he! How like one so young. Fine girl I'll let you be part of my crew!"

Nami's grin only widened. Hiding the traitorous thoughts that buzzed about her head. Not even noticing that Luffy was sharing her smile as he was filed into a small cage nearby.

'Suckers.' They thought.

* * *

As I've stated previously. A pirate will find any excuse to drink. Such as right now with the return of their precious map and the addition of Nami to their crew. Only it was rather like watching circus performers get drunk, juggling knives and balancing on unicycles upside down when by all reason they should have died within seconds of trying to do so.

Nami, while not really having a true excuse to party was never one to turn down a free drink. Especially when she had the fortitude of a concrete elephant. She guzzled down pint after pint of beer with no visible effects while a small pile of men who thought they could out last her built up at her feet.

Just as she planned.

Meanwhile Luffy sat in his cage, still bound but making no effort to escape in any way. He could easily burst the bindings and break out, but for some reason he preferred just to sit there. Staring at the party with mock interest.

"How's it going 'boss'." Said the navigator looking down on the naive pirate newbie.

"Hungry." He said bluntly.

Nami shrugged. Hey this guy at least deserves a last meal before being sold off somewhere by these pirates when they have to make up for all the loot she was going to steal. She grabbed a drumstick off a nearby table and held it up to his mouth. She was disgusted when his mouth opened as wide as a bear trap and ate it whole. Pulling his head back and leaving her holding a stark white bone.

"Don't you have any manners!"

Luffy ignored her in favor of the mouthful of food he had. Chewing only briefly before swallowing and responding to her question with an unrelated statement.

"Thanks! Now I definitely want you in my crew!" He said cheerfully.

Nami growled "You don't get it do you? I don't want to join your filthy pirate crew. ***Sigh*** But I guess I'll let you out when I'm taking all their stuff. I wouldn't want them to kill you or anything."

Luffy smiled.

"SO THATS YOUR GAME!"

Nami froze on the spot at the sound of the clown/ captains voice. Especially since it was coming from right behind her. She turned and saw a Buggy grinning from ear to ear with a drink in his hand staring down at the two off them.

"So you have her drink us all under the table then you both rob us blind? How...quaint. But Buggy the clown didn't become a pirate captain by being an idiot!"

His men cheered resoundingly.

"I don't know what your talking about." Luffy stated simply.

Buggy sneered and leaned in. "Of course you'd say that. Now that you've been betrayed that is. Now I'm gonna have to make an example out of you just in case your former minion has any ideas about stabbing me in the back." He glanced at a pale Nami.

"What! No captain Buggy. I'm totally devoted to you." She said hurriedly.

"Naturally." She sighed in relief. "But..." She tensed right back up "...Just to be safe. MEN! THE BUGGY BALL!"

"AYE CAPTAIN!"

His cannon was once more at his side while other men brought out what looked to be an ordinary cannon ball, but with Buggy's personal skull and crossbones Jolly roger with a large clown nose on it.

The pirate turned his precious cannon to face one of the many deserted houses of the town. He held up the ball for all to see before putting it in the gun.

"I've spent years developing these special cannon balls. Days upon days spent laboring in my lab without sleep until I perfected them! A cannonball with more than twenty times the force of any other!"

'Twenty times!' The red head thought.

He stood beside his baby. Holding the blasting chord. "SEE MY POWER!" He yelled and pulled as hard as he could.

Nami fell onto her butt. Trembling in shock. One cannonball, one tiny, smaller than normal cannonball had not only demolished the house it hit. It effortlessly pierced through it and obliterated the 'six' other buildings in the same row. Ripping each one out of it's foundations and caving them in as though they were all made of paper and held together by glue. Before exploding in the distance at a scale at least twice as large as any other bomb.

Buggy grinned like another famous criminal clown at his handiwork. In one shot he could accomplish what would normally take an entire supply of cannonballs to accomplish.

"YOU SEE! With this and my devil fruit powers combined my success as a grand line pirate is assured!"

"HORRAY FOR CAPTAIN BUGGY!" The crew chorused before taking up drinks to celebrate Buggy's unnecessary destruction of property.

"Now then..." Buggy turned the cannon. Pointing it directly at Luffy's cage. "...to prove your loyalty to me girl all I ask is that you use that same power to kill your old boss!"

Nami, called by those who knew her as 'the cat' for the first time in a long time broke out into a cold sweat. She should have seen something like this coming. She knew how ruthless pirates could be but she didn't think they'd actually want to kill him. Not when they're were other, more useful things they could do.

"NO! I mean, why? They're is so much more we could do with him. Other more profitable things. I know a place that we could sell him as a slave for a good sum. Or with your power we could make him our cabin boy. Besides wouldn't using one of those balls destroy this..." She trailed of as she saw the look he was eying her. One that said he wouldn't think twice about making her share her 'bosses' fate.

"I said, Kill him!" He coldly stated. Putting the chord in Nami's hand.

The girl was frozen, the sweat running down her brow increasing significantly while staring at the doomed boy who for some reason still looked no more fearful than if he were about to be hit by a volley of marshmallows.

"SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT!" They all chanted.

'If I shoot this thing I'll kill him. And If I don't they'll kill me! What do I do, what do I do?'

"Pathetic." Said another voice.

"What?" Nami said. Realizing it had come from Luffy.

"Your hands shaking. You wouldn't kill me even if you could. That's what you get for dealing with pirates without being prepared for the consequences."

"Unprepared? You mean not being prepared to kill someone? Or not prepared to be a pirate!" She snapped.

"Nope..."

"...Being prepared to risk you life for what you believe in!"

If Nami wasn't already frozen she would have done so again. The words ringing in her mind too loudly to be ignored as much as she wanted it to be. Was she really prepared to risk everything just to save this one idiots life? Or risk the lives of...

"Your taking too long! Let me do it." One of the Buggy pirates snatched the firing chord out of her hand and lit it.

***GANK*** (4)

She didn't even notice that she'd reached for her three section staff until she was standing over an unconscious pirate with a jesters hat and a lump growing on his skull. By then it was too late.

Buggys pupils vanished in rage (5). "I KNEW IT! I KNEW SOMEONE WHO HESITATED LIKE YOU COULD NEVER BE A PIRATE!"

"WHO'D WANT TO BE A PIRATE ANYWAY!" The girl snapped back "PIRATES TOOK EVERYTHING I EVER CARED ABOUT! I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!"

Luffy watched the yelling match. So thats why she said she hated pirates. Well that was all well and interesting, and his decision to make her part of his crew had returned, but...

***TSSSSSSSSS***

….The fuse was still lit.

The acrobatic pirates swarmed Nami. Effortlessly moving past her staff strikes to swipe at her with their weapons. The girl was no slouch either but against professional acrobats she was at a slight disadvantage. She managed to get them to jump back from a particularly vicious swipe before grabbing onto the burning fuse.

Naturally this caused 'some' discomfort. If it wasn't for her hands being as rough as they were from her travels they'd be useless for a long time.

Though she saved Luffy, Her turning her back gave the clown squad enough time to launch themselves at her with intent to make skishkabab. Then again they didn't expect to collide face first with an iron bar that appeared out of nowhere.

Roronoa Zoro stood in the path of the four clown faced pirates. Two sheathed swords parallel with each of their faces. The blades not moving from the force a millimeter in his iron grip.

"ZORO!" Cheered the king to be. He had been sure that the Hibiki-Esque swordsman would have taken days to find him again. His swordsman just gave him a cold stare with one eyebrow raised. Letting his captain know exactly what he thought of his predicament

Of course Zoro's name had the standard reaction to when it is normally tossed about.

Buggy's crew looked ready to fill their baggy pants. Makeup ran down their face with tears and knees knocked to the rhythm of the Sousa march.

Buggy though. He couldn't have been happier. This was a rare opportunity after all.

"So Zoro the pirate hunter has come for me at last." He said. Turning his cowering crews attention away from the demon made flesh to him. "It's about time. I'd began to think you were just to scared to take the great Buggy the clown!"

Zoro gave the 'menacing pirate' a once over before turning away. "Hardly. I'm just here for this idiot. I don't hunt pirates anymore."

He ducked to the side to avoid a knife sailing right past where his head had been.

Buggy sneered and pulled out more small blades. "I don't care if your a bounty hunter, pirate or even a ballet dancer now! All people are going to here is that the great Buggy the clown single handedly defeated the demon swordsman Zoro!" He darted forward with a knife between each finger.

Zoro didn't say anything but in lightning speed had all his swords out. Then, with one clean sweep Buggy was cut up like a Christmas goose. His body parts falling to the ground in a display that was no where near as gory as it should have been.

Zoro was an expert swordsman, and as such he had an inkling of what should be the result of cutting someone to ribbons. Such as enough blood to drown in for one. Miscellaneous entrails and vital organs slipping out of the deceased's gaping wounds. At the very least they're should have been even a little blood on his weapons. Yet their was nothing.

Nami and Luffy were wondering the same thing. Zoro was a proficient swordsman. His rep made that clear, but they doubted even he could cut a man in half so cleanly. Plus they're was one thing they couldn't figure out.

"Why are they laughing?" Whispered Nami. The Buggy pirates didn't look upset at the lose of their captain. In fact they looked positively giddy. Like they're captain being killed in front of them was no big deal.

"Thanks Zoro. I'd have to have actually done something if you hadn't arrived." Said Luffy.

The grass haired teen snorted. What was with this guy and leaving everything to the last minute?

He looked at the cage. "I need the key. The bars are to thick to cut."

Luffy shrugged. "Don't need em remember."

Nami watched the two with confusion. These two were pirates? They looked so...ordinary. Well Zoro look more like a pirate than ZORO! The pirate 'Hunter'? What the hell is he doing treating that confessed outlaw like a friend

She was pulled out of her musings when the crew of the dead clown started laughing even harder. Practically rolling on the floor. It was suspicious enough for Zoro to re draw one of his swords and point it at the hysterical pirates.

"Alright whats so FuGH!"

A knife blade stabbed into Zoro's lower back and erupted out of the other side courtesy of Buggy's severed right arm.

Everyone gaped or laughed at the sight. Zoro managed to pull himself forward off the blade. Twisting around with a grunt to slice at the floating appendage. Sectioning the already sectioned limb. His eyes narrowed when the piece he'd cut away didn't fall but simply reattached itself of the wrist where the wound healed instantly without a scar.

"You've never came across anyone like me pirate hunter."

Too everyone that wasn't dressed like a freaks horror Buggy was alive. The pieces of his body that had been cut off were floating back over to his torso and reattaching. Even his cloths were restitching themselves back together as if nothing had happened.

Buggy gave a bead wide grin to his astonished enemy's.

"I ate the Bara Bara fruit." He explained "You can slice me, dice me and even shred me. But I'll just keep coming back because I'm a sectioned man!"

Nami and Zoro both looked shocked. Luffy however had stars in his eyes. 'Wow. So cool! This guys a real monster!'

"HAHAHA. I guess I didn't hit anything too vital Zoro. My luck for looking the part of a corpse I suppose..."

His crew cheered. They'd keep laughing but if they did that anymore they'd probably pass out.

"...So how's about I take care of that little oversight!" He pulled out another knife and twirled it between his fingers.

"THATS A DIRTY TRICK YOU BIG NOSED FREAK!"

BIG NOSED FREAK

BIG NOSED

BIG NOSE

…...It didn't really echo, but it may as well have to the clown crew who scattered upon the utterance of 'big n'. Some even throwing themselves off the roof hoping for a quicker end.

Buggy's pupils vanished in what I call 'A.W.S' or 'Angry White eye Syndrome. Snarling he pointed his arm at his insulter which then shot off at the elbow like a gun. His weapon aimed to stab Luffy right between the eyes.

The straw hat pirate smirked.

Then the work faded to black.

* * *

"CPN"

"CATIN"

"CAPTAIN!"

Loud yelling roused Buggy from a sleep he didn't remember entering. Moaning he lifted himself off the ground. Strange he didn't remember lying down.

"Captain Buggy. Are you alright?"

Groggily Buggy faced his crew mate and nodded. His head throbbing to much to notice the man was covered in blood and wounds. "Wha happn." He muttered out.

The pirate shook his head. "We don't know sir. One second you were about to kill the boy, and the next...well look." He pointed over at some empty spot.

The clown groaned "What? I don't see anything. How did I get here anyway!"

"Captain...the bar used to be there."

"What!" Buggy's eyes flew open and stared at the lot his underling claimed once had one of the towns biggest buildings. Now nothing but a dusty lot without as much as a sliver of wood or the faintest hint of booze that had permeated the air from the heavy drinking they'd been doing.

He looked around for any thing to tell him he was being lied to, but everything he saw matched with what he remembered surrounding the pub. Without a pub to surround.

The clown pirate continued to stare into empty space. Leaving his subordinate to fill in some blanks Buggy most likely had but couldn't voice.

"I don't remember much sir. Just everything going black, then the sensation of being pulled and squeezed. Then rocketed through the air until I hit pavement. It happened to fast for anyone to get any bearings."

"And, the straw hat." Buggy said in a daze.

Another spoke up, just picking himself up there. "Gone captain. The whole crew is here but him, Zoro and that backstabbing girl are long gone."

"FIND THEM!" He screamed louder than he ever has. "TEAR THIS TOWN APART IF YOU HAVE TOO BUT FIND THEM!"

* * *

"Mmm. I may have used a little to much power in that move." Commented Luffy. Who was scratching his head a fair and looking in the direction of where they'd come from. Next to him was a panting Zoro and a ghostly white Nami.

* * *

Flashback.

* * *

Just as The knife was about to hit. Luffy released his power.

"YAMI YAMI ABSORBTION!"

Black muck exploded out of him. Covering everything in sight in the time it takes to blink. He had no targets in mind. Just stop the knife, grab his friends and get out of here, grabbing everything within his eye sight and quickly consuming even the building itself.

As the building collapsed into the void of his power so did the cage, Buggy's crew as well as the two he realized he shouldn't have absorbed. He probably shouldn't have absorbed the tavern either since his powers technically didn't allow him the ability to fly.

His powers flared even further upon this realization. Shooting out into the distance to grab hold of one of the buildings quite far away from here.

"YAMI YAMI RELEASE!"

The clown pirates shot out of the cloud of darkness like bullets, each and everyone plowing into the ground below hard enough to knock them out cold if they weren't already so from their time in the void.

Speaking of which he better go.

"YAMI YAMI WORM HOLE!" (6)

With that he was rocketed at an unfathomable speed towards his destination. Safely away from Buggy.

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

"Hey you guys ok." He asked the two.

Nami just rocked back and forth. Muttering to herself.

Zoro dragged his knees up, balanced himself on his arms. Then got into a standing position. He looked at Luffys smiling face before grabbing the boys vest and raising him over his head. "Never. Do. That. Again!"

"S-sure." Luffy said nervously.

Nami kept rocking. Staring directly ahead.

"Woof!"

Until a little square headed dog barked right into her ear. Making her jump and land curled like a cat around Zoro's head.

The swordsman brow twitched before peeling the terrified girl off his head, and dropping the idiot he had to call his captain.

"What's got you so riled up?" Asked Luffy to the shaking girl. Looking past her he saw a large fluffy white dog with a rectangular head staring up at him, unmoving and sticking it's tongue out stupidly.

He crouched down next to it. Waving his hand in front of it's face to which it didn't respond. He poked it in the eye. "Why isn't it movAAAGGHHH!" He cried out as the canine sprung to life and bit his arm up to the elbow. He waved his arm about frantically in an effort to get the mutt to let go, but it stayed firmly on his arm much to his pain and displeasure

He gritted his teeth and clenched his other fist "LET GO YOU LOUSY..."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO SHUSHU!"

The three and dog looked over to see an older man holding a spear and wearing what looked like a cannibalized pot bellied stove over his checkered shirt.

"Shushu? You mean the mutt?" Asked Zoro.

The man nodded. "Release him at once!"

Luffy glared at the guy. "I will as soon it takes it's teeth out of my bone marrow!"

The man walked over to the dog armed boy. Petting the dogs head and wrapping his other arm around it. The animal loosened its grip on Luffy's lower arm and let itself be put back down. Leaving Luffy to stem the flow of life liquid flowing from his arm.

"Thanks old man."

"Ungrateful youth." He grumbled at being called an old man. "My name is Boodle. Chief of harbor village."

'Better than Woop slap at least.' Thought Luffy.

"Come on." He waved to the three. "This is my house. Your grass haired friend looks like he could use a rest."

* * *

Once Zoro had been put to bed the mayor went back outside with a bowl of food for the dog that had tried to eat Luffy. The straw hatted boy wasn't particularly nice about it but stayed quiet.

"So whys this dog just sitting their anyway? It looks like it's been stuffed." Said Nami. Noting that it was sitting in front of a store that simply said 'Pet food' (7). Why the mayor of an entire town would live next to a pet food store was beyond her.

"Shushu. Hasn't really moved for the last three months." The mayor said sadly. "Not since his owner told him to watch the store."

Luffy's eyes widened in amazement "It hasn't moved because it was told not to? Thats incredible."

Boodle smiled "Animals have senses of loyalty and companionship beyond most humans. Dogs especially loyal. Shushu isn't the first dog to carry out his owners last wish, and he won't be the last."

"Last wish?"

Boodle nodded. "His owner. A dear friend of mine, died of disease while in hospital. Shushu knows that his masters gone. But guards the store still in loving memory of him."

"*Sniff* Thats beautiful!" Choked Luffy. Nami rubbed her eye as well.

***RRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR***

A monstrous roar tore through the streets. Catching Luffy's interest and making the other two humans jump back in a panic.

"It's Mohji the beast trainer! Buggy's right hand man! Run for it!" Boodle yelled and ran down the street kicking up a big dust cloud in his wake.

Nami would have taken off behind him if not for the fact that Luffy hadn't budged an inch.

"Come on! We have to go!" She said. Grabbing the boys arm and running. Only to fall flat when the arm she was tugging didn't budge an inch.

"I'm not leaving." He said simply.

"What! Why?"

"Because Shushu isn't."

Nami quirked an eyebrow and looked down. Indeed the rectangular headed dog hadn't budged an inch. Not even turning to face the GIANT LION COMING DOWN THE STREET!

It was at least twice the size of an ordinary lion. Canines as long as a forearm and claws that could tear a man to ribbons. On top of its head sitting cross legged was hee hee hee. Sorry, sitting on it's head was a Ha Ha. Was *snort*'. A, a...BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Your, your kidding! A HAHAHAHA NO NO HA HA. IT LOOKS LIKE HAHAHAHA, OH IT HURTS HAHA. MY STOMACH HAHAHAHAHA ha ha ha...ah.

Excuse me.

The man sitting on top of the lions head wore bag pants and a yellow sash. Furry shoes that looked more like slippers. A fur lined top that covered only his peck's and, I kid you not, what looked like a furry rap around hat that had cute little bear ears sticking out of it. Like a little boy whose mother made him dress up in a teddy outfit.

"Well well. Looks like I found two of you. I'm Mohji the beast trainer and...why are you laughing?"

Nami had her hand over her mouth trying futilely to hide her mirth. Luffy was outright slapping his knee in laughter.

" HAHA What's with the stupid hat! HAHA!" Luffy managed to get out between laughs.

Mohji's forehead bulged with veins. "HOW DARE YOU! THIS IS MY HAIR!"

That didn't make their laughing stop any. In fact since Nami joined Luffy in grasping her sides and knees it probably made them laugh harder.

"KILL THEM RITCHIE!"

With him still on the beasts head the lion (Ritchie) lunged at Luffy who was still laughing his ass off.

Ritchie was on top of him in an instant. Jaws poised to eat him whole.

Mohji sneered at the sight. Right before a sudden halt made him fall forward of his giant pet onto the cobblestones head first.

He quickly stood up, rubbing his head. "Ritchie what did you...do?"

Both he and his lion sweat dropped at the scene before them. With almost no effort a still giggling Luffy held the lion at bay, holding the bridge of it's nose and exerting what looked to be only minimum effort.

'Stronger than Ritchie? Impossible! "RITCHIE!"

The lion complied and slammed one of it's powerful paws into the boys unprotected side. Too distracted by the yell to notice the lions paw coming for him Luffy was thrown into, and through a nearby house on the other side of the street.

Mohji smirked at his lions handiwork. That was one down. Now that the girl had stopped laughing long enough to resume being terrified he could make it two. "Ritchie take care of this girl."

The lion however wasn't listening. It was heading over to the store Shushu was sitting in front of.

"A pet food store huh? Oh alright, eat your fill. I'll take care off the girl." The hat haired sneered, taking out a whip and glaring at Nami.

* * *

4 seconds later

* * *

"Mu-mu-mommy? I don't wanna the cutesy hair cut. They'll laugh at me again." Said the mangled bruise that was Mohji the lion tamer.

"Wow. Didn't even need my staff." Commented Nami about how easy it was to beat the guy. That's what you get for letting your lion do all the work.

"YIPE!" Nami was pushed to the side as a white and red all over bundle of fur was knocked into her by a hungry lion.

Ritchie crashed through the stores doors. Gobbling up everything in sight. Destroying everything to get at more food. It knocked over a lamp that because the place had remained untouched for so many months still had oil in it. The crashing to the floor caused the smallest of sparks, but it was enough to make it light and send the whole wooden building ablaze.

Ritchie jumped out of the doors just as flame exploded out the doors. A box of pet food in it's jaws for when it's hungry later. It put the box down for a second, grabbed Mohji's foot in its jaws then tossed the bloody man onto his back. Then picked the food back up and walked off. Leaving the mayor, the girl and the dog to themselves. What did it care about them as long as it had food.

Shushu hopped off Nami. Sitting in front of the blaze. Barking it's heart out as though it were hoping that shouting at the fire would put it out.

"Shushu." Boodle whispered. Ashamed that he had just hid while these people got the crap beat out of them by that lion.

The dog continued barking as it's masters treasure burned to the ground.

Nami clenched her fists in rage. She didn't blame the lion. No that lion was only as bad as the pirate that it obeyed. They were all the same! Pirates didn't care what they did to anyone else, whose dream they crushed as long as they got what they wanted!

"Pirates." She growled out.

"You say something Nami." Said Luffy.

Boodle and Nami turned to see a slightly bruised Luffy walking towards them. Injured from his trip through a home but still ok despite a normal person being killed if it had happened to them.

Nami looked at him with undisguised disgust. Boodle noticed her anger building and grabbed her in an arm hold before she attacked the guy. "Let me go! I'm taking care of this pirate scum once and for all!"

"Like you could." Said Luffy passing the irate girl and walking up to the now quiet dog. Staring at the smoldering ruins of the highly combustible wooden shop.

"Here." He said. Putting sown the damaged box of pet food in front of the dog. "Sorry but this is all I could pry from that lions mouth." He sat down next to the Hachiko parody (8) "I an tell you've been through a lot. I know this isn't as good as a store but it's all thats left."

"He, fought that huge lion just for ShuShu's dog food?" Said the mayor. His voice cracking.

Shushu didn't make a sound. He just picked up the box and walked off. A little distance away he put it down, turned to Luffy and barked in what you could tell was a happy manner.

"Ha ha! You take care as well!"

Nami laughed as well. Maybe she was wrong.

Just this once mind you.

* * *

Elsewhere

* * *

"MOHJI!" Shouted Buggy. Staring down at the puddle that used to be his first mate.

His lion was no better. Every one of Ritchie's legs was mangled and broken, It's face may or may not have been in better condition. The clown really couldn't tell since it's head was buried in the pavement.

"Mohji! What happened? Who did this to you.

"Y-mi man.(9)" He managed to mutter out before darkness claimed him.

"A yummy man! Mohji the beast tamer was defeated by some sort of cook!" Buggy snarled. "This has gone on long enough. MEN!"

His crew appeared around him in an instant as though they always had been rather than searching town.

"Forget them! Load all the Buggy balls into the cannons and blow this town to smithereens!"

"And the map captain." Said a scarf wearing member of the crew.

"Who needs it! I read the map! I can easily get us to old Johns treasure. NOW GET GOING!"

* * *

"Sorry for everything Luffy." Nami apologized.

"S'alright." He said standing up. "You had something precious taken by pirates so it's ok to be angry with them."

"THAT DOES IT!" Yelled Boodle.

The two teens looked at the old man.

"I'm sick and tired of leaving the fighting to dogs and children! Fighting for what you believe in is the job of a man!"

"Now now. Calm down chief." Said Nami.

"NO! I helped build this town 40 years ago with my own two hands with everyone else! Starting from nothing after our old one had been destroyed by pirates!"

"My village! My people! THEYRE MY TREASURE AND I WON'T LET SOME RUBBER NOSED PIRATE TAKE IT!" He held up his spear proudly.

He fell back seconds later as the section of his 'treasure' he'd been looking at was torn to pieces.

"MY HOUSE!" He yelled.

"ZORO!" Dittoed Luffy. Zoro had been in Boodle's house sleeping.

"*Yawn* What? I'm trying to sleep" Came a reply from the rubble. Wood and rock shifted to reveal an uninjured (in that incident) former bounty hunter.

The dark boy and the weather girl sighed in relief. Boodle on the other hand looked more in pain than Zoro by all rights should be.

"My heart. It's breaking. How dare they think that they can come here and undo 40 years of blood and tears!"

He turned and ran in the direction of the harbor. Only to be grabbed by Nami.

"Are you crazy? One old man against dozens of pirates is just a fools fight!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Boodle yelled, his eyes brimming with tears. "But I couldn't look at myself if I just let pirates take away everything from me!" He broke Nami's grip and continued his run.

"Luffy?" Said Zoro.

"Don't worry Zoro. I don't plan to let that old man die just yet!"

* * *

Aboard the circus pirates ship Buggy was preparing to let loose another volley of his special Cannon balls.

"Ready! Aim! Fi..."

"BUGGY THE CLOWN!"

The mentioned pirate looked over his starboard bow to see an old man in hammered together Armour.

"Who the heck are you?"

* * *

"I can't believe your ok!" Said Nami as she ran down the street. "Besides that wound in your side, a house falling on you did nothing!"

Zoro just shrugged "What can I say I've had worse."

That wasn't as god an answer as she had wanted but it would be all she was getting.

The three soon caught up to Boodle. Not soon enough though to stop him from attacked by Buggy. The old man was being raised off the ground by some invisible force (they were behind him) and slowly being choked to deaf. He was pounding at his neck as hard as he could in a vain effort to dislodge whatever was strangling him. Buggy was up on the deck of his ship laughing along with his crew, his right hand missing from his wrist.

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself! Ha ha ha!"

It was clear now what was choking Boodle. So Luffy rushed over and grabbed a hold of Buggy's hand. Wrenching it off.

Then it happened.

"AAAAGGGHHHH!"

Blood started pouring out of both the hand and the stump of Buggy's arm. Precious life fluid running out like a red river. The hand went dead in Luffy's grip while Buggy fell to the deck in clear pain.

"Captain Buggy!" The crew swarmed their captain. Laying him down and tying a belt sash around the stump to stop the blood flow.

"What's going on?"

"Yeah. The fruits never done this before!"

***thump***

Something small hit the deck

As quickly as it came it stopped. Buggy's wound glazed over with the red soup skin like texture that his sectioned areas usually have. Buggy panted heavily with the memory of the pain still fresh in his mind. Leaving the other members confused.

One pirate turned back over to that idiot that challenged captain Buggy down below. Stepping over to the railing to get an idea what had happened.

"YEOW!"

The crewman turned back to captain Buggy, spinning on his heel as he did so.

"Captain whats wrong."

"My hand." He said through bitten lips.

"Your hand?"

"get off my hand you idiot!"

The pirate looked down and was quite embarrassed to see a twitching hand under his feet.

"S-sorry." He stuttered out and lifted his foot. The hand floated back to the fruit eater were it reattached seamlessly.

Buggy ignored the crewman's little incident. He was far more interested in how he started dying just their. He rushed to the side of the ship and looked down. Standing in front of the injured mayor was that annoying straw hatted thief. Staring up at him with a smug grin while standing in front of the gasping old man.

"This old mans no real challenge. So I guess you'll have to fight me!"

Buggy growled "You think you can come here and challenge me! YOUR ALL DEAD!"

Zoro smiled. Unsheathing his swords. Luffy cracked his knuckles. Boodle got up and raised his spear.

"You Young'uns aren't fighting without m...!

***WHAM***

With one move Luffy swept his feet out from underneath him and drove the chiefs head into the ground.

Nami was shocked. "Why did you do that!"

The captain just huffed. "He was in my way."

Nami would have done something she'd regret if Zoro hadn't spoken up.

"It's for the best. He'd only get in the way if he were awake. Being knocked out is probably best." Said Zoro.

Luffy nodded. He took in a deep breath, drew back and...

"I SAID YOUR FIGHTING ME YOU GIANT RUBBER NOSED JACKASS!"

Silence.

Buggy reattached his jaw just to yell for his men to fire a buggy ball at the dead boy.

***BOOM***

The super powerful annon ball cfired directly at the boy. Aiming to pulp him on impact. Nami grabbed Boodles unmoving body and ran for it. Zoro like Luffy didn't even try to move. Their was no need to.

"Absorption!"

Just before impact Luffy threw his palm into the path of the ball. An inky black vortex of black erupted from it. Swallowing the ball in it's entirety.

This time it wasn't 'technically' silence. The assembled clown pirates and navigator stared open jawed at the display of power. Making that weird sound were people just mouth words without actually saying anything.

"Hey!" Luffy called up to the deck. "You want your cannonball back!"

The Buggy crew registered what he said seconds later. Jumping overboard just as Luffy said...

"Release!"

The ball shot out way faster than before. Hitting the boat and exploding a mile away as soon as he vocalized the "e". Buggy's boat was reduced to flotsam and Jetsam and the criminal crew who had been caught in the explosion were blasted forward into buildings, pavement and even the water hard enough to send them to dreamland. Except for Buggy and that weird guy sitting on a unicycle.

The charred and battered clown stood up. Looking at Luffy with a mixture of Fear and anger. (teeth clenched, eyes wide).

"What the heck are you!"

Luffy let the black smoke climb over his body and let it rise to the heavens once more. "I'm Monkey D Luffy! I ate a devil fruit. I'm a Yami man!"

'Yami man' Buggy thought angrily. He whipped his head around to find Mohji. "You idiot! It wasn't a 'yummy man'. It was a 'yami man'!"

Mohji didn't respond. Which considering all he's been through today it was a miracle he was still alive.

"..."

"DON'T YOU GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT!" He picked up his first mate by the head and lobbed his body at Luffy, who in turn decked Mohji once more and sent him into the horizon.

* * *

At the shelters just outside town

* * *

"I think theres a fight going on." Said one villager.

"It has to be the navy. No one else would go up against Buggy like this." Said another.

"How do you think it's going?"

***CRASH***

Something fell from the sky. Hitting the ground with tremendous force.

The people walked up to the mass inside the hole. Unsure what to make of it.

"It...er...kinda looks like a raw slab of meat."

"Nah. It's one of them 'modern sculptures'."

"Your both wrong. It's an animal. Poor thing must have gotten in between the fighters."

While the villagers quarreled amongst themselves as to the identify of the none sapient looking mass. Said mass twitched, moaning through a fragmented jaw as it somehow regained consciousness.

'Please. For the love of all things sacred. End this joke already.'

Yeah I think he's had enough.

* * *

Buggy growled "So you beat Mohji huh? Not all that impressive without his lion though so it's no great feet."

Everyone sweat dropped. "We beat him because you threw him and he was already out you big nosed idiot."

Buggy's eyebrow twitched. He grabbed for his knives but a voice stopped him.

"Captain. Don't lower yourself to their level. I'll take care of them." His 'other' officer said.

Cabaji the acrobat 'looked' more like a pirate than his court jester of a captain. He wore white pants with a light green sash. Was bare chested except for the dark blue coat with torn of sleeves. A blue and white checkered scarf covering his mouth and yellow and green striped hair that covered half his face.

Hey I said he looked 'more' like a pirate than Buggy. Not that he actually really looked like one.

Buggy nodded. "Fine. You know I don't like to fight angry."

Cabaji rolled his eyes, then charged. The unicycle mounted pirate dashed at Luffy with speeds never before seen by someone on a mono wheeled vehicle. He drew his sword back and stabbed at the boy.

***CLANG***

With the blade in his mouth Zoro parried Cabaji's attack. Then with his others he slashed at him, leaving a shallow x cut on his chest.

Cabaji hopped back. Somehow able to stay on his ride without falling over. Not even acknowledging the blow he lowered his scarf and inhaled.

"Carnival trick – Old mans drunken breath!"

A belch of fire spouted from his mouth. Hardly enough to burn but enough that Zoro shut his eyes. Leaving Cabaji enough time to spend a kick into Zoro's wound with his point toed boot.

"AGH!" The swordsman cried. Collapsing to one knee and grabbing his once more bleeding mid section. The sword in his mouth clattering to the ground.

"That was a cheap trick!" Yelled Nami. Luffy grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"What are you doing? He needs help!"

"Leave him." He said "This is Zoro's fight. We can't get in his way."

"But..." She said half heartedly. Like she could really do anything to help.

"Carnival trick – Murder scene steam."

He stuck his sword into the ground and pulled it up. Dragging up a lot of dust which he then spread around spinning his sword like a fan. Obscuring everyones vision.

"Steam? This is just a bunch of dust." Zoro mocked.

Instead of giving a cliché snide remark Cabaji appeared out of the 'steam'. Forcing Zoro to bring his two remaining blade up to guard the weapon aimed for his head. Allowing the acrobat time to put his foot in Zoro's side again.

Zoro was again flopping on his back. Biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. The unicyclist rode a small distance away to enjoy the sight. I'd laugh if it weren't so pathetic. So spare us both and GO TO HELL!"

He went full tilt at Zoro. Sword swinging like mad.

"ZORO!

"KILL HIM!"

"..."

***SCHING***

To the relief and shock of both party's, Zoro was able to deflect Cabaji's blow. Tossing the balance expert of his wheel and made him go skidding."

"*Huff* *H**uff*** No more tricks." He said before taking his swords to the unicycle and slicing it into scrap.

Zoro fixed his glare on the shocked skunk haired pirate. Putting his third sword back in place. "Now then. Do you think you can fight me like a true swordsmen Or would you like me make my wound worse to make it more even?" He said with as little sarcasm in his voice as someone who doesn't understand the word could manage.

Cabaji ground his teeth hard enough for then to crack "That was my favorite unicycle! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a bike seat thats actually comfortable!"

"...Did you really just say that out loud?"

"I'LL KILL YOU!" He attacked.

"As if a fake swordsmen like you could!" Zoro charged too.

* * *

While the fighters were distracted with each other, the thief was quietly scheming. Scanning the area she realized that out of the entire fleet, Buggy and Cabaji were the only ones left standing. That meant no one was guarding the treasure back at the warehouse near were the tavern used to be.

The warehouse Buggy stored all the loot he plundered from the town. On the downside Buggy probably had the map on him right now. So she had a fat chance of getting it. For now at least.

She just needed a distraction. Fortunately she had a human smokescreen right here.

"Hey Luffy." She said drawing a single eyeball away from the fight. "You think you can keep Buggy busy?"

"What for?"

"I'm going after his treasure. But I'm not exactly equipped to deal with a fruit eater. So while I go get the treasure. It's your job to get that map of the grand line he's got, got it?"

The logia user mulled it over for a few seconds before nodding.

This pleased the girl "Good. If everything goes well then I 'may' consider working with you again."

"You mean you'll join my crew?" He said excitedly.

"Mmmm, more like 'temporary partnership' from time to time." She said and took off down a back alley in the street to avoid being spotted.

Meanwhile the fight between the swordsman and the trickster continued. Despite claiming to be a swordsman Cabaji and decided to sheath it (i.e eating it) and pulled out several large spinning tops from who knows were, spinning despite never being seen started up.

"This is the greatest attack of my sword style! Carnival trick – 100 kamikaze tops!"

The few he held multiplied into one hundred already spinning tops from seemingly nowhere coming at him with surprising speed. However 'surprising' speed to someone who dealt with 'blinding' speed might have well as been 'molasses' speed. Zoro effortlessly destroyed the toys heading for him. Taking all one hundred down with only a few swings of his sword.

"Is that the best you've got?" He taunted before realizing the acrobat was nowhere to be seen.

"CARNIVAL TRICK..."

'That came from above' Zoro looked up to see Cabaji hovering in mid air. Body pointed down with his sword at arms length in front of him.

"...DIVE FROM THE BIG TOP!" (10)

The move was perfect for a circus performer. Big, flashy, and all too obvious. He just had to move and...

"AGH!"

Both swords men were drawn to Buggy's yell. Holding the stump of his arm in pain. Luffy was standing near Zoro, his sandaled foot grinding into Buggy's disembodied palm.

Zoro dodged to the side when Cabaji's sword hit the ground. The carnival pirate back flipped, pulling his sword out of the ground and landing a distance away.

"I can't believe you actually dodged that!" He sneered.

"It was easy." Said Zoro. "Your all flash, no crash. Your not a swordsman using acrobatics, just an acrobat holding a sword."

"Fine! Then I'll just beat you with my sword skills then!" Cabaji charged Zoro once more.

Zoro crouched down "Oni...

***SLASH***

"...Giri."

This time the wounds on Cabaji were not shallow. Blood erupted from him following the trail of three deep cuts courtesy of Zoro's signature move.

"Well...that was...ea...sy." He collapsed onto his hands. The strain of his injury getting to him. "Luffy?"

"Don't worry Zoro. It's my turn anyway." Luffy grinned. Popping his shoulders and letting black smoke rise off himself again.

Buggy stared at him. Another knife appearing in his hand as though from nowhere. "What makes you think you can beat me? True you have an interesting paramecia ability. But your just a thief, and a thief can never beat a pirate!"

Luffy's grin only widened in anticipation. "Actually, my gram pa called my powers Logia..."

'Logia? Uh boy!' Thought the clown.

"...and second. I'm not a thief. I'M A PIRATE!"

The darkness exploded out of him, reaching out and latching onto anything it could grab. The entire street was soon awash with black except from a small patch were Zoro was resting and were Buggy was standing. Darkness crawled up the houses. Eating them.

Buggy was terrified. One of the reasons he'd came to this blue was because no one strong was really here. Especially not the high and mighty logia users who all almost completely localized in the grand line.

Tears and...other facial liquids poured out in quantity. "YOUR GONNA DESTROY THIS TOWN JUST TO GET ME?"

The darkness stopped spreading. Receding back to pool around and over the boy who made it.

"Oh right. The villagers wouldn't be happy if I ate their town would they." He said vainly.

Buggy sweat dropped 'Is this kid really a pirate?'

"Are you for real? What kind of pirate are you to do such a considerate thing?"

Luffy looked at him and simply said "The kind thats gonna be pirate king."

"...If your gonna be the king of pirates kid, then I'm gonna be ruler of THE ENTIRE WORLD!" Knives popped up from somewhere to appear between his fingers. "Your too soft to be any kind of a pirate you dark runt! No matter what kind of power you have!"

"Yeah yeah. Enough talking, let's just get started." Luffy said, loosening his shoulders and clenching his fists.

"GRRRR! I really can't stand you! I've known you for not even half a day and your already one of the stupidest and weirdest people I know..." Said the clown with the real red nose. "Honestly with that hat your just like that red haired idiot!"

"Red haired...my hat...you mean Shanks!"

"Oh? So you know him too? I guess it's not all that surprising, idiots tend to gravitate to each other after all. YAHAHA!" he laughed as if he told a joke.

The bubbling of the inky substance became violent.

"Don't talk about Shanks like that!"

"WHY SHOULDN'T I! IT WAS THAT RED HEAD JACKASS THAT RUINED MY DREAMS!"

* * *

Flashback- Now with biased narration

* * *

("I was once a cabin boy on one of the greatest crews ever to sail the grand line. There was no end to the riches I saw! It didn't matter to me if I was the lowest ranking member of the crew. Simply being on it was guaranteed to make all of us wealthier than any other pirate could 'dream' of being! It was on that ship that I had the best and worst days of my life")

("I just didn't expect them both to be on the same day")

"NORTH!"

"SOUTH!"

"IT'S THE NORTH POLE!"

"NO THE SOUTH POLE!"

***DONK*** X 2

Both young boys were sent to the deck by a man wearing glasses and had a striped beard.

"If you two young idiots want to fight over which end of the planet is colder then I suggest taking a dinghy and checking yourselves. But I won't have pointless bickering on this ship." The pirate said coolly.

("Shanks and I were like brothers. Fighting over every little thing.")

"SIR!" Called a crew member from the crows nest. "SHIP AHOY!"

The assembled pirates grinned. All unsheathing their swords and unholstering their guns. Buggy pulled out two daggers while Shanks hoisted his cutlass.

"You seem happy Buggy." Commented the young Shanks.

"Hee Whats not to be happy about? A ship is just like a big floating treasure chest. Money is the only thing that matters to a pirate!"

"Hardly."

"Why you..."

The reached the ship soon enough. Engaging them in one sided combat. The air was mixed with the sounds of terror and laughter. Shanks and Buggy's crew was tearing into their enemies like they were nothing. Not getting as much as cut before they struck the other crew down. Even Shanks, just a cabin boy was having the time of his life.

Buggy on the other hand found no great pleasure in the fight. He was scouring the ship in search of booty to claim before the rest. He found a chest in what looked to be the captains quarters, but was disappointed to find nothing but a scrap of paper in side. What idiot put a scribbled on piece of paper in a chest this big? All their was on it were green blobs and a big X-oh sweet buttery Neptune it's a treasure map!

It indicated that a massive treasure was buried at the bottom of the ocean somewhere. All he had to do was get it and he'd be rich enough to retire!

("Of course to make sure that happened I had to make sure I wouldn't have to split it. To do that I needed the right equipment. And to get the equipment I needed money. Good thing for me my fortune was still going strong that day.")

Among the booty taken from the enemy ship was an odd looking fruit. A pineapple sort of fruit without sharp spines and covered in swirls. Any sailor worth his sea legs knew about the incredible powers they could grant you. Any sailor could also tell you the horrible downside of never being able to swim again.

Now Buggy had absolutely no interest in losing such an important skill. Especially since he was very proficient at it. Their were those out their though who would pay handsomely for it. A hundred million at 'least' for just one. Enough to finance his treasure hunt easily. The captain did say that anyone who wanted top eat it could have it.

"I CABIN BOY BUGGY WILL EAT THE CURSED FRUIT!" The young clown said loudly, holding the fruit high.

The pirates around him cheered loudly for the boy. Waiting to see what powers he'd gleen from the fruit.

***CHOMP***

The crews breath hitched then the boy swallowed the fruit whole.

***BELCH***

"..."

"..."

"...what?" Buggy asked the silent crew.

One answered up "Do you...feel different?"

He shook his head. "Not really." He said and walked off. Leaving the pirates behind to wonder what went wrong. As soon as he was out of sight a massive grin split his face.

"HAHA Idiots! That was but a pineapple I painted with food dye." He pulled out the 'real' devil fruit. "Now I just have to sell this and I'll be set for life!"

"Whatcha doing Buggy?" Said Shanks who appeared out of nowhere. Buggy, not having time to think shoved the devil fruit in his mouth to hide it.

"Wsh U wn?" (What'd yo want?) He said threw his mouth full of fruit. 'Yeuch! Even the skin tastes bad!'

Shanks stared at the vaguely ape like face for a moment before answering. "Uh just don't steal too much food okay. The rest of us need to eat." He said and walked off.

'Phew' The clown wiped his brow and grabbed the stem sticking out of his mouth.

"BUGGY!" Shanks said loudly reappearing behind him again. Shocking Buggy into swallowing the valuable fruit.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!" He grabbed Shanks by the shirt. Shaking him violently.

"YOU BASTARD! THAT WAS MY..."

"Hey whats that?" Shanks pointed to a piece of paper falling over the side.

"MY MAP!" He jumped over the side without thinking.

As soon as he hit the water it turned against him. His muscles felt like he'd been swimming for hours within seconds, his limbs didn't respond the way he wanted leaving him thrashing on the waters surface. "HELP! HELP!"

"I'M COMING!" Shanks dived after his fellow cabin boy

* * *

End flashback

* * *

"A hundred million beri's. Gone in a gulp! My ability to swim." Gone in the same way! My map! Gone! My hopes and dreams of becoming a great grand line pirate dashed! Leaving me no choice but to sail this bottom of the barrel blue! And it all Shanks fault!" Buggy ranted.

"So he saved your life?" Luffy smiled.

"DON'T JUST LISTEN TO THE END! BECAUSE OF HIM I MISSED OUT ON A TREASURE RIVALING ONE PIECE!" He aimed both arms at the Yami boy and fired them "Bara bara cannon!"

The knife wielding hand launched at Luffy, who brought his own hands to grab the wrists.

With his bear hands.

The agony Buggy experienced before came back two fold. Blood gushed out of his stumps and hands like fountains. The red glaze that covered the sectioned limbs disipeared replaced by what an actual dismemberment wound looks like. Bone, muscle and blood visible and as cleanly cut as a joint in a butchers shop. His eyes bugged out impossibly and he screamed to the heavens.

"IIIIIIEEEEEE!" The girly scream swept the city. Making anyone who heard it wince in pain.

Even though they were enemy's, and even though he'd just tried to kill him. Luffy still felt bad for the clown pirate. Throwing his hands away after taking the knives and pocketing them.

The red glaze of the Bara Bara fruit covered the section's once more. Reconnecting the limbs again.

"What was that!" Buggy said. That boy had just grabbed his hands and he almost died. It was like his section powers, faded."

"I have the power of darkness." Luffy explained. "Darkness controls gravity. It can draw anything into itself. Even other devil fruit powers."

Buggy looked horrified. That would mean...

"Thats right! All I have to do is touch you and you have no powers!"

The pirates of Buggy's crew. Who had just woke up but found themselves unable to move, were equally as shocked as their captain.

"Woah! No powers on contact. Thats nuts!"

"Yeah. And what will happen to the captain if he split's up more than just his arm?"

Even though Buggy couldn't hear his crewman he was still thinking that exact thing. The dark teen grabbed his arm and it became just like a normal one that had been cut off. Their was enough blood on the streets here that he already felt woozy enough to collapse. What if he'd popped off his head? Or used his Bara Bara festival? He'd be dead in an instant!

As much as he hated it, he may have to use 'that' attack.

Buggy grunted. Throwing off his hat and coat. Then undoing the upward ponytails at the straw hats giggles. His feet disconnected his his ankles and he rose into the air.

"Okay Straw hat. So I can't touch you..." Knives appeared from his fingers from nowhere again. "...But that doesn't mean I can't fight you..." Blades shoot out of the soles of his shoes "...after all, how can you use that power if you can't touch me!"

"BARA BARA MURDER FESTIVAL!" (11)

* * *

Nami whistled a merry tune while sauntering back to the harbor were she knew her boat was. The valuables in her swag bag clinking happily as he went. This would go a long way in helping her 100 million beri goal.

The best part was she'd get away scot free. With Luffy and Zoro taking the blame.

"HANDS OFF MY TREASURE!"

The bad part, the boat also happened to be near where the two captains happened to be fighting.

* * *

"AGH!"

Luffy dodged back at the incoming attack from a spinning slice of thigh, only to get side swiped by a razor sharp bicep chunk.

Their was a reason why Buggy always seemed to have a limitless supply of knives on hand, yet never had any on him.

More like 'in' him.

With his sectioned body it was all to easy to store dozens of knives of varying size all around his body. All of which split out of his skin in an instant to cover each section in razor sharp steel. Making it all but impossible for Luffy to touch them.

He couldn't absorb any either. That required conscious knowledge to do. With all the dozens of deadly knife wielding pieces flying at him he couldn't focus enough to take in any of them.

Up above Buggy's disembodied and spiny head laughed deeply despite not having access to his lungs. "Is this all a mighty logia user can do! Come on, even the dumbest of those monsters can turn into their element to make things pass through! Or can't you? HAHAHAHA!"

'No I can't.' He thought while dodging the deadly spinning buzz saws. If he could just get one clear grab this fight would be over, but he'd probably lose a hand in the process.

"COME HERE!" A swirling vortex appeared in his hand. Drawing what looked like Buggy's neck towards him.

"NOT GONNA HAPPEN!" Cheered Buggy. Throwing other pieces of himself at the teen. To many for Luffy to grab at. Forcing him to break the pull and jump away before he was pierced.

His darkness lashed out. Spreading out to grab at Buggy's sections which dodged out of the way with practiced agility.

"YAMI YAMI BULLET!"

This attack struck one of Buggy's pieces. I think maybe his upper solar plexus. The attack tore into Buggy, tears pieces out of him before coming out the other side. Pieces that took on a life of their own.

Buggy winced a little at the immense crushing sensation that small part of him experienced but was otherwise fine. Most of the damage seemed to rely on tearing the body to pieces. "I'm immune to being taken apart remember straw hat? No matter how small you dice me I'll keep coming!"

Buggy then sneered and laughed at Luffy's look of frustration. "All devil fruit are categorized into three groups. Paramecia, Logia, and Zoan. Of those three groups there are those fruits that grant amazing power, and those that grant pathetic and stupid powers. In all my years I never thought I'd see such a 'stupid' logia power!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ah ah ah." Buggy tutted at the angry boy. "Let yourself go to much and you'll just destroy even more of these people's homes."

Luffy just glared at him. His powers shot out once more, this time heading for the harbor, and any houses in the street that Buggy had demolished. Grabbing onto everything it could and pulling it into the darkness.

The smoke rising upwards bulged slightly

"Let's see you dodge this, ya big nosed clown!"

"BIG NOSE!"

"DENSE SHOT!"

Something fired out of the smoke. Aiming right for Buggy's face to fast for him to dodge, in desperation he brought up another body part to block, spinning fast enough to shred whatever was coming at him!"

***SNAP***

***WWHHAAMM!***

In retrospect, bringing up your crotch to block something might not be the best idea.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

***SHATTER***

Glass for a mile around broke at the ultrasonic pitch coming from the pirate jester. The speeding object slamming into his unprotected groin and taking it off several blocks away. The pieces of the clown fell out of the sky like birds that had been shot. Unmoving.

Luffy grinned at the apparent success. His density shot was something he came up with to deal with his lack of super human speed when he went up against someone fast or could take his powers crushing force to. It took everything he'd absorbed and crushed it down into a small place. About the size of a cannonball, the result was a sphere stronger than steel and faster than anything else known.

"Well that him taken care of. Now wheres Nami." Luffy said. Scouting about for the girl.

He spotted her walking away on her tip toes carrying a huge sack with gold peeking out the top.

"HEY NAMI!" He called out.

The girl almost tripped at being caught but hid it well.

"Hi...Luffy."

"WOW LOOK AT ALL THAT TREASURE!"

"TREASURE!"

Buggy's head exploded from it's prone position. Heading straight for Nami.

"HANDS OFF MY TREASURE!"

His head began spinning til it blurred.

"BARA BARA DUNK SHOT!" (12)

"YAMI YAMI WALL!"

A wall of darkness shot up between Buggy and Nami. Buggy who was big on momentum at the moment and low of eyesight didn't see the darkness until he flew right into it.

"And this time don't come back! Release!"

Buggy's head spat out of the wall of blackness towards the ocean. Disipearing off into the distance. His body parts twitched slightly but went limp.

Thus Buggy the clown was defeated.

* * *

"He, he just beat captain Buggy!"

***whack***

"Quiet you cheese brain."

"OW! Why'd ya hit me?"

"Fer bein' stupid. Now shut and play dead or well get our asses handed to us."

"Our asses? But I wanted a pony!

***WHACK!***

"OW!"

* * *

Zoro was brought back to the land of the living by an insistent slapping on the back of his head.

"Hey Zoro. I beat the bad guy. We can leave now."

"*YAWN* Already? I don't think I can even walk properly right now."

"The fact you can walk at all is a miracle!" Snapped Nami. Hugging the bag of treasure like a teddy. Speaking of treasure...

"Did anyone remember to get the map?" Asked Nami.

"Uh?" Went Luffy. He went over to Buggy's miscellaneous Body parts. Each still twitching with life signs. Going through pockets until he found what he was looking for in the coat pocket.

"Here! A treasure map of the grand line!" He cheered.

Nami. Beri in her eyes practically teleported over to the map and snatched it out of Luffy's hands without letting go of her sack somehow. "I'll just hold onto this for later, captain." She tagged on at the end.

Luffy grinned and nodded. His eyes turned down to the jacket and looked it over. It was a traditional sort of sailor jacket. Including those shoulder board things that made it look oh so much cooler. The only problem was it was in Buggy's awful colour scheme.

'Maybe in a different colour' He thought throwing the coat back to the ground. (13)

"HEY!" A voice called out from down the street. Followed by loads of other voices and the stamping of feet.

The harbor town residents. Deciding that they'd had enough of being cowards just as it no longer mattered. Men women and children armed with bats, crowbars, pot, pans and anything else that made someone say "Ouch" when you hit them with it.

"We came here to fight!" Said the front most villager. Although looking around he could tell that the fighting was already over. "Do any of you know what happened here?"

Nami tried to come up with a cover story, but was thrown to one side when one villager spotted the still out cold chief.

"Please tell us! What did those dastard pirates do to our chief!"

Nami so much as opened her mouth to cover they're tracks. However.

"That was me. I knocked him out." Luffy said with all the emotion of discussing furniture arrangements.

Fear and worry soon vanished in the wake of anger and hatred. The most heavily armed of the villagers. The two with the spears pointed their weapons at Nami and Luffy. Zoro was only just starting to stand up.

"How 'dare' you do this to our chief!"

"What kind of people are you!"

Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Pirates."

"HAHAHA!" Zoro laughed at his captains idiocy.

'They're both idiot's'

"GET THEM!"

The three ran for their lives. Nami carrying the valuables while Luffy carried Zoro.

"Luffy why did you do that!"

"It wouldn't have made a difference if I said were pirates or not. If they get that mad for beating the chief then nothing I say would have helped."

"..." Nami turned her head back. Following Luffy into an alleyway.

"They went into the alley!" Crowed one of the hoard of villagers.

"Get them!"

"BARK!"

The angry mob stopped in it's tracks as a little dog jumped in their way. Barking at them angrily and bearing it's teeth.

"Shushu? What are you doing? Move!"

The dog stood it's ground. Refusing to move an inch and just kept it's fangs ready. Daring anyone to come forward.

"Those are bad people Shushu! You have to move!"

"BARK! BARK!"

* * *

"Thats your ship! It's twice the size of our dinghy!" Shouted Luffy at the sight of Nami's 'commandeered ship'.

The thief just grumbled "Yeah but look at the flag. Who'd want a sail with Buggy's jolly roger n it?"

Hiding behind a building a bowl head, a curly head and a skin head had all sneezed. They'd seen that that guy had done, they were stupid but not suicidal.

The three boarded their respective vessels. Nami tossed over one of the two bags she'd split the treasure into to Luffy who caught it with one hand.

"HEY!"

Just as they were sailing away. They saw Boodle on the docks. Now without that hideous Armour. Waving at them.

"THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! I OWE YOU ONE!"

The straw hat crew cheered back. At least not every human on that island hated them. In fact.

"OLD MAN! CATCH!" Luffy grabbed his share of the loot and tossed it across the water at the old man. Landing just next to him and spilling some of it's precious contents on the street.

Boodle smiled wider and continued waving. Words having become quite inadequate at this point.

* * *

So their adventure in Barbour village. 5 million beri's richer and one crew mate up.

Now if only the new navigator would stop trying to throw th captain overboard for giving away half a fortune we could move onto the next island, home of he greatest warrior in the sea.

* * *

Chapter End.

* * *

They just keep getting longer and longer don't they. Don't expect this every time though. I do like it when an arc is wrapped up in one chapter, but if it gets too long then I'll break it down.

You may notice I cut several things out of the story. This is purely for the sake of finishing quicker. If they're are any weak points in this chapter don't be afraid to tell me. I think they're might be a plot hole or two but I can't pinpoint just were. Or maybe it's because I myself aren't taking the twist into account when I'm reading the manga as I write this. Which I write a manga chapters worth a day by the way.

I'm skipping the island with all the mix and match animals by the way. As I feel it doesn't bare any true importance to the story except to alter Nami's perception of Luffy a little more. Nothing great mind you.

(1) I'd imagine if a human came out of Luffy's power void bruised then a fish would be mangled beyond edibility. Remember Luffy has to see it too pull it up. If he just drew things toward s him in a large area then he could pull up half the ocean. Also keep in mind that they're are sea kings big enough that a galleon is as big as their pupil. Actively trying to draw up a sea king is not a good idea unless you can see it and it's not under your boat with their mouth open.

(2) Basically it's the 'dark vortex' only if Luffy had named it. If anyone has a better suggestion please tell me. Remember though it should be something Luffy would say.

(3) These three reminded me of the legendary entertainers the very first panel I saw them.

(4) The sound Nami's staff makes when she hits someone with her staff. It was in the manga if you don't believe me

(5) Ever notice how someone in anime or manga's pupils and iris dissipater whenever shocked or angry? Weird isn't it?

(6) Named that technique he used last chapter to get to the top of the tower. He latch's his power onto some point and can then travel they're instantly. If the name does not suit then please suggest a better one.

(7) A rester ant named 'Food' and a pet food shop named 'pet food'. One can't help but wonder at these names.

(8) A dog that waits outside a train station waiting for his long dead master to come home. Like Grey friar bobby who'd wait on his masters grave every day til the day he himself died. Being Scottish myself I love that story.

(9) Originally this was to be 'D-rk mn'. To be heard as 'dork man'. I thought the one I use now was funnier.

(10) I changed the name because he didn't have the unicycle

(11) I did this to make the fight less one sided given Luffy's power canceling being very fatal to Buggy. I'm not pleased with this name either.

(12) Like a ball thrown at a dunk tank in a carnival.

(13) I want Luffy to get a slightly better mode of Dress than the fisher outfit he has. It's okay if your body's rubber and it lets you move around freely, but for a more serious power I think a different outfit would be better.

I thought it over and realised something about Buggy storing knives in himself. If that was the case then shouldn't he have been sliced to ribbons when Luffy cancled his power? Well Luffy could only cancel the power of whatever he was touching, thus turning it into an ordinary cut off limb. I.e the severed arm he was holding, not the power in Buggy's body as a whole. If Buggy were to release his other arm then it would fly. However what Buggy was trying to avoid earlier on was Luffy touching a different part of his body. Such as his head or anywhere thatwas important to his survival. If Luffy had rouched one of those parts then Buggy would have died. For example if Luffy grabbed the section where Buggys heart would be then it would stop beating as if that area has been removed from a body, as well as be cut apart by the knives inside.

Thanks for reading. Just don't expect updates to be all this frequent still. I'm not going to promise ones this long or frequent. I'll just get them done when I can.

If any of you have ideas for Luffy's new outfit. Have seen a drawing or anything similar please let me know.


	6. Chapter 6: The liar

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: If I owned this series I'd be Scrooge Mc'ducking a big pile of money right now.

Chapter 6: The liar

"_Lying increases the creative facilities, expands the ego and lessens the friction of social contacts"_– Clare Booth Luce

* * *

"You can't be serious" Said Nami angrily.

They'd been sailing straight for the past few days. This time they had plenty of provisions to last them for a while (as long as Nami didn't take her eye off them), and actually had a heading as to the location of the next island in their voyage towards the grand line.

In that time the navigator had taken it upon herself to get to know the men she would be working with, for the sake of future 'joint ventures' as she liked to call it. As well as pass the time. She'd already made an important discovery about Luffy.

He was completely brain dead.

Oh sure in terms of combat prowess he was a genius. Most would have just used their power to overwhelm rather than think of new ways to fight with it depending on the situation. He also seemed to have a knack for instinctively knowing how people think. In everything else however he put as much brain power into than a dead guinea pig.

He actually wanted to go to the grand line right now. With half the crew members required, 4 days worth of supply's and two tiny ships that'd get torn up as soon as they touched the reverse mountain.

"Why not?" Luffy moaned "We've got a navigator and a swordsman. What more could we need?"

Nami rolled her eyes "Oh I don't know. Someone to cook, a real doctor maybe. Oh I know! How about an ACTUAL SHIP!"

"OH OK! Oh And we need meat! We only found fruit on that last island we were on."

They'd come across an island a few days ago inhabited by some of the strangest animals anyone outside of the grand line could say they've seen. Looking like someone had taken parts from one animal and sewn them onto another one. The place was also home to an old man that looked like he'd been crossed with a bush, he'd been trapped on the island for years. Stuck in a treasure chest that his body had grown to fit over the years.

They'd arrived looking for food, having been chased out of Harbor town before they could get any. Only to find the old man guarding treasure chest which had long since been emptied of their contents. They'd offered to bring him on their journey but he'd refused for now. Saying he'd grown too attached to the animals to leave. Luffy promised that when they'd toured the line they'd come back to get him to be on the crew of the new pirate king.

"And we need sake as well. Never really cared for rum or grog." Added Zoro.

"Would you two stop thinking with your stomach's for a minute!" She growled. "Were going to the grand line ok. The most dangerous place in the world. We need more crew members, better equipment and a proper ship!"

"AND MEAT!"

***GANK***

Nami jumped back over to her own ship and broke down her staff again. Ignoring the unconscious captain and pulling out a map of the blue.

"According to the map "There is a reasonable sized island with a village north of here. We should arrive in about an hour. Any questions?" She asked Zoro.

Zoro looked at her from his reclined position. "Yeah. You want to be captain?"

* * *

"Ah! Nothing like starting the day with a beautiful ocean view."

The young lad from Syrup village looked out onto the ocean. Grand fantasies filling his mind as he thought about how he would one day rule over all he surveyed.

The boy didn't look to much like a king. He looked more like the one a king would make wear funny cloths and dance like an idiot for his amusement. He was of average height and on the skinny side. Long brown overall's and a sash like everyone else in the world wears instead of a belt (1). He wore no t-shirt as the island was pleasantly warm nearly all year round and a satchel on his shoulder holding his tools.

His head was covered by a checkered bandanna that held down his curly black hair. Keeping it from covering his face apart from the huge nose he had, not huge big like Buggy's but more like Pinocchio huge, and sharp enough to pop a balloon if one pressed against it. He appeared to be part fish man, why else would he have such big puckered lips?

The lad stood there for a moment more before looking up towards the direction of the sun "The suns that high already? I better get to work.."

He jogged down the cliff side hill he was standing on. Going briskly down towards his homey little country village. He smiled at the postcard picture view, then he took a deep breath and...

"PIRATES! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! PIRATES ARE COMING!"

He teen ran through his home town. Crying wolf and screaming at the top of his lungs about an impending pirate invasion. Looking every bit as believable as any other terrified boy running from thieves and murderers.

The people in the houses didn't act like they were ready to flee. No, rather husbands kissed wives before heading off to work. Cats were put out, even meals were pulled out of the oven as each resident heard the sound of hysterical yelling.

Not all were so calm mind you. Some rushed out their doors. Armed with pitchforks, kitchen knifes and anything else they could grab. Ready to fight for their homes. Only for Pinocchio Jr to suddenly stop and burst out laughing.

"WAHAHAHAHA! I WAS ONLY JOKING!"

"UUSSSSOOPP!" The cry of all those who took the warning seriously filled the air.

"Uh oh. A lot more people out today." He said in a nervous way.

"GET THE LIAR!" They all charged after him.

If they're was one thing Ussop was famous for besides lying, it was running. Effortlessly pulling away from the angry mob without the smallest hint of exhaustion common to someone running as fast as he was. The townspeople knew they couldn't catch up to him . It didn't stop them from trying though until he vanished from sight in the woods.

He stared down at the retreating villagers with undisguised glee. Happy too have down his bit to keep them alert to pirate attacks. Couldn't have them run around like headless chickens in that eventuality now could he.

Ussop the liar settled into the tree he was in and decided to take a nap. He always had to get up so early to do this every morning. Thats that he gets for being selfless he supposed.

"Captain Ussop!"

He'd barely managed to close his eyes before they were jammed open by a voice calling out to him. He looked down to see two giant vegetables dressed as children. Or was that two children dressed as giant vegetables?

"Piiman! Ninjin! Wheres Tamanegi?" Ussop asked.

"I think he's still sleeping." Said the boy who looked like a green pepper.

"Sleeping? How can he still be sleeping after my morning pirate scare?"

"CCCAAAPPPTTTAAAIIINNN!"

The terrified scream drew the threes attention towards the denser part of the woods that separated the town from the sea. Boy with a round head and hair that made him look like an onion.

"BIG TROUBLE!" He screamed.

Just as he reached the three Ussop grabbed him in mid stride and held him at arms length. The boy still pumping his legs despite reaching his destination.

"Whats wrong Tamanegi?"

"PIRATES! PIRATES ARE COMING! FOR REAL!" Tamanegi shouted in his bosses face.

"R-r-real puh-puh-pirates?" Ussop froze up like an X-box playing Oblivion. Strangled sounds coming from his throat.

"Nuh uh." Said Ninjin.

"Liar." Agreed Piiman.

"It's true!" He said in indignation "Two small ships just appeared on the horizon. One of them has Buggy the clowns colour's hoisted!"

Okay, a liar he was but a threat like Buggy was to great to not at least consider.

"Okay men! Get ready!" Commanded Ussop.

"AYE CAPTAIN." The three said.

"Now then! Lets go to town and get some BREAKFAAASSTTT!" He shouted heroically while turning around and started walking back to town.

"AYE C...WHAT!" They yelled at their retreating captain.

Ussop looked back, before clutching his stomach in apparent agony and dropping to one knee.

"Ooohhh! If I don't get something to eat now I'm going to die." He moaned pitifully.

"Your a worse liar than any of us captain!" Scolded Ninjan.

"Yeah! What kind of pirate is scared of only three people!" Said Tamanegi.

"Ooowww. My sto..., wait three? As in, not a lot?"

The onion boy nodded. "Yes captain. Only two small dinghy's."

In an instant Ussop was on his feet and grinning from ear to ear. "No pirates are a match for the unstoppable captain Ussop! Lets go men!"

"OTHER WAY!" The shouted at the teen running back to town.

"RIGHT THEN!" He about faced and, at a much slower pace ran towards the ocean. "Follow me!"

* * *

"Wow we made it here so fast!" Said Luffy happily. Jumping off his boat and onto dry land.

Nami grinned smugly. "Of course. Now the crew has a navigator you won't just be bobbing in the ocean hoping leaving finding land to luck."

Zoro just shrugged. "Floating abouts half the fun."

"Your just upset that if we'd left it to you we'd have never found this place."

The swordsman just grumbled. For the sake of argument he kept quiet and got out of the tiny boat, stretching to get rid of any of the pains associated with sleeping upright on a wooden mattress.

"By the way."

"Yeah Zoro?" Asked Luffy.

"What do you think those guys are doing." He said pointing up to the group of kids 'spying' on them.

* * *

Ussop and the vegetable patch kids he called his crew bugged out when the baddass looking guy with three swords in his sash pointed 'directly at them'! How was it possible that he could see them. This dead log in the middle of a clearing in the tree line was the 'perfect' lookout point!

"Run!" Piiman yelped. Running away from the impending fight between his captain and those bad guys as quickly as he could.

"Cowards!" He yelled out at his retreating men. 'Ah, I trained them so well.'.

Now he didn't have the option of running...well ok that was a lie to. However he knew he had to at least 'try' to do something. Less they say he was not truly the greatest warrior of the sea. Plus their is the whole 'chased by a mob of villagers for crying wolf so much that they don't respond when it really happens' deal.

He stood up and crossed his arms. Looking down at the invaders like they were filth on his shoe.

"LEAVE THIS PLACE PIRATE SCUM! LESS YOU WISH TO FACE ME! THE LEADER OF THIS ISLAND THE UNDEAFEATED CAPTAIN USSOP!"

"What will happen if we don't?" Asked Zoro. Fear completely absent from his voice.

"I JUST TOLD YOU! LEAVE NOW OR FACE ME!" He repeated.

"Anything else?" Nami asked with no more fear.

"Uhhhhh? Oh! I HAVE 80 MILLION MEN JUST WAITING FOR MY COMMAND TO TEAR YOU APART!"

Nami just stared at him like he'd told a really bad joke. "Liar."

***BANG***

He reeled back as though hit by a bullet. "HOW DID YOU KNOW!"

Zoro shrugged. "You just told us their."

***BANG***

Another shot knocked him to the ground.

Even Luffy got in on it "And theirs no way you could have 80 million men waiting to get us. This island's not big enough to have that many without us seeing. Your really bad at lying."

***BANG!*** X 2

Ussop was rolling on the ground in apparent pain. Crying silently and gibbering like a mad man.

"HAHA! He's funny!" Laughed Luffy.

Nami and Zoro just sighed at the pathetic sight. Zoro picked up the crying boy under his arm while Nami led her hysterical captain behind.

* * *

"More crew members and a ship!" Exclaimed Ussop. Now sitting at a table in the towns only restaurant. He, Nami and Zoro were eating at a normal pace while conversing. Luffy on the other hand was busy stuffing his face with an unusually rubbery type of roasted meat on the bone.

"Yeah!" He said, somehow speaking clearly despite his cheeks bulging like mad.

Ussop stroked his smooth chin for a second in contemplation before answering. "Well the island doesn't really have any large boats. Were farmers not fishers. There is only one place here you could get a boat bigger than the ones you have."

"And where is that?" Asked Nami, raising her hand to signal she wanted another drink to the waitress.

"Well there is a mansion at the edge of the village owned by a wealthy girl. The ship belongs to her butler I think." Ussop sighed sadly. "Poor girl. She has all that wealth but is sick almost constantly and can barely do anything herself."

"Ma'am! More meat please!" Luffy yelled out to the waitress. Ignoring the long nosed boys sad words and subsequent angry glare.

"If shes so sick then how can she be the mansion owner? Wouldn't her parents take that title?"

Ussop shook his head. "They died from a disease a year ago. The same one she has only a 'lot' worse. It's not going to kill her but she can barely even get out of bed. I guess money really can't buy you everything."

Nami looked at him silently, leaning back in her seat. "Well then We'll just have to look somewhere else. We won't really need a big ship until we reach Logue town."

'Logue town?' That was the final destination for anyone heading to the grand line. Where 'he' was.

"You might not be able to get a ship here. But I might know someone who you could get to join your crew."

"Really! Who!"

The bandanna clad boy pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the spittle and food from his stony face before responding. "ME! That is provided you make me your captain naturally." He said smugly.

"No way." The three pirates said casually.

"WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the previously mentioned manor. A young women lay in bed near an open window.

In all honesty it was hard to tell she was of ill health since her beauty was unobscured by any of the classic signs. Her skin was unblemished and smooth. Her deep eyes carried no bags. The only thing that suggested her weakness was her bed head and her quiet voice.

"Klahadore." She said weakly.

A man in a fine pressed butlers uniform appeared in the room with only a faint 'click' as any clue that he had used the door.

"Yes mistress Kaya." He said in a voice like silk.

"I...want to see..Ussop." She ordered/ asked.

"Mistress. You know how I feel about that boy. He's nothing but a bad influence on this town, and a worse one on you."

"I enjoy the stories he tells me Klahadore. Is that so wrong?" She said more forcefully.

The butler nodded. "Yes! Those story's are far too exciting for someone of your constitution to listen to. It is my duty, as handed down by your parents to take care of you. You may control the manor mistress, but as the one in charge of your health I get the final say into what is, and is not ok for you."

"That's just petty." Said the ill aristocrat.

The butler didn't respond. He pushed his glasses up with his palm and left the room.

Kaya just lay their, unable to do anything against her servant. He may have her interests at heart , but sometimes it felt like he was suffocating her more than helping her.

"Lady Kaya!" Someone called from outside the window

* * *

"WHAT DID YOU PIRATES DO TO OUR CAPTAIN!"

Nami and Zoro looked at the food/ child hybrids with passive interest. They looked so cute! Their little faces pulled into what was supposed to be an intimidating and brave look. Waving the crudely cut wooden swords at them and trying to sound scary by shouting as loud as they could.

People just giggled at the boys then went back to their meals.

"Your captain?" Asked Nami slyly.

"Yes!" Nodded the pepper boy "The great captain Ussop! What have you fiends done with him!"

It was at that point that Luffy finally finished his meal. Leaning back and patting his belly contentedly. "Wow. That meat tasted so good!"

Of course the boys took this competently the wrong way. "He...he ate the captain!"

Nami grinned like the cat from wonderland. Looking over at Zoro who smiled the same way.

"Oh is that what that guy was?" Said Zoro creepily.

"What did you do to him?" Asked the carrot boy.

Zoro's grin became sinister. "Ate him." He licked his lips for emphasis.

"GGGYYYYAAAAHHHH! DEMON HAG!" Their eyes rolled up to the back of their heads and they collapsed to the floor. Tears running down their faces.

"WHAT! Why did they look at me when 'you' said that!" Nami shouted at Zoro, who was laughing to hard at the boys to care about Nami's death look.

The fainting spell only lasted a few short minutes, and since the crew had already had their fun they decided to stop being cruel and just tell the kids that Ussop had just left before they came in.

The boys looked at each other knowingly. "He must be away to visit lady Kaya again." Said Tamanegi."

Nami looked interested. "The mansion owner? Why would he visit her?"

Piiman smiled "To tell lies!"

"Isn't that a bad thing." Said Luffy. Ninjin shook his head.

"Not at all! It's great really!"

* * *

"...And then what happened?" Said Kaya excitedly. Hanging on the story tellers every word.

"Well." Ussop said weaving (not waving) his arms about intricately. "The giant gold fish sea king had just destroyed my boat. But On it's last pass to smash it completely I grabbed onto it's giant fin! It tried to shake me off! It thrashed so hard you'd think it was an earthquake. But I held on for dear life. Captain Ussop cannot be so easily defeated after all!"

Kaya raised her hand to her mouth and laughed. Feeling far better now than through any of her treatments.

* * *

"So he lies to her to make her feel better?" Asked Nami. Curious as to the relationship between the town pariah and the wealthy estate owner.

"More like to tell tall tales so that she can forget shes sick." Said Piiman.

"The captains a great man! Especially how cowardly he is." Chirped the onion wearing glasses.

"What! No it's his nosiness thats to be admired!" Growled Carrot boy.

'….Those are strong points?' Thought Zoro

"Wait. So what your saying is that the lady's feeling better right?." Asked Luffy leaning over the table.

"Yeah." Said Tamanegi.

"Right then! Then lets go to the mansion to ask about that ship!" Crowed the captain before heading for the door.

"I thought you said we would wait til Logue town!" Corrected Nami.

"Only cause I felt bad asking a sick woman. But if shes better then we can ask no problem." He answered and left.

Nami wanted to argue that point. She really did. Unfortunately trying to explain logical thinking to her captain was like trying explain charity to her.

* * *

The mansion gave you a sense of 'modest' wealth. Two stories tall with a fairly large garden. Above the front door was the buildings sole decoration, a stone carving of a lion.

It's front gates were black iron with rather than the 'gold' colour that the ridiculously wealthy usually prefer. While this house definably screamed 'money'. It was a far cry from other wealthy socialites who live in mansions that could house an entire town.

"HELLO!" A loud and obnoxious voice boomed past the gates. "COULD YOU LEND US YOUR SHIP!"

"Luffy! You can't just walk up to a place like this and ask for their ship." Said Nami in a defeated way. Only palming her forehead when the straw hat boy climbed the gates and jumped into the estate.

"Hey you can't do that!" Shouted Tamanegi.

"Save it kid. We can't stop him so we'll follow him." Zoro said before taking a powerful jump and landing on the other side of the fence. That is before clipping his foot on one of the gates causing it to swing out the way.

Nami hummed. "Well. This is unrealistically convenient." She said before walking inside with the kids.

* * *

"Intruders?" Klahadore said in some alarm.

"Erm. Yes sir." Said a lower ranked butler that looked more goat than man. Complete with big ears, curly hair with two tufts on top that resembled horns, a fluffy wool collar for his serpents coat and oddly enough a split top lip.

"Were are the guards Merry? This is the sort of thing they were hired for." The bespectacled man said heatedly. Pushing his glasses up once more.

"I believe they just went to lunch." Said the mutton man nervously.

"Not at the same time!" Klahadore looked flatly at him, turning around and heading back to Kaya's room.

Back in the girls room, Kaya was almost ready to fall out the window she was leaning so far. Hanging on Ussop's every word. "So you road the fish all the way to a dwarf kingdom?"

He nodded. "Yep. Of course finding the dwarfs would be difficult for an ordinary man, living underground as they do. But me, I found them in seconds. Cut up the fish and fed the entire dwarven nation. They were so awed by my great generosity and power that they called me..."

"CAPTAIN!"

"...No not captain. Ki...huh? What the heck are you guys doing here!" Ussop's eyes bulged at the sight of his crew members. All latched onto Luffy trying for all they were worth to push the super strong pirate out of the estate but failing so miserably that he didn't even notice.

"He broke in." Piiman groaned. Pushing against the teen trying to halt his footsteps.

"And we can't make him move!" Grunted Ninjin. Pulling at Luffy's right arm fruitlessly.

"Hi!" Said Luffy smiling happily. "Are you the house owner?"

Kaya smiled at the boys naively happy expression and nodded. "Yes I am. And who would you be?"

Luffy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could and arm circled his shoulder.

"This..." The arm patted his shoulder for emphasis. "...Is the latest addition to my crew. He and his friends traveled from far away. Traversing great life endangering perils just so they had the privilege to be part of Ussop's pirate crew."

"Liar." Everyone but the long nosed teen said at once. Causing him to dissipear and reappear crouched down in front of a tree sobbing quietly.

"Actually mansion lady. Me and my friends have a request for you."

Kaya looked interested "A request?"

"Yeah! Could you l..."

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"

Klahadore stood in the direction they were all looking. He looked angry but only as if they were flies that continued buzzing around his head no matter how many times he swatted at them.

"How DARE you just barge into the mansion grounds like this! Leave now or I will contact the police." He said firmly. Leaving no room for argument.

"But Klahadore. They were just..." The butler held his hand up, telling his mistress that her words wouldn't mean anything. He marched up to the group and looked over them sternly. Pausing on Luffy since he was the only one not cowering or glaring at him.

"Can I have the ship?" He asked like a little boy asking his parent for candy.

"No." Klahadore said bluntly. Turning away and leaving the boy to be consoled by his first mate, spotting the 'true' thorn in his side.

"Well well. Judging by your extremely poor taste in cloths, bandanna and the nose that sticks a foot from your face I would say your the notorious Ussop."

"Yeah. But everyone calls me captain Ussop!" He said boastfully.

"And was their any particular reason your here. Besides annoying the mistress of course."

"Ah...I heard that part of the mansion collapsed because of a sinkhole under it. So naturally I came to help."

"And you can lie as well." The butler noted. "As to be expected from the bastard child of pirate scum."

The word 'pirate' got a reaction from several people. The straw hats looked interested in the revelation. Ussop however looked like Luffy when someone told him he couldn't have 2nds.

"What did you say!" He said with undisguised anger.

"Did I stutter? I said your the brood of pirate scum. You don't even deserve to live among civilized people. Yet you think you can come and go from this mansion as you please? Don't embarrass yourself."

"KLAHADORE THAT'S ENOUGH! APOLOGISE AT ONCE" Screamed the mansion owner.

"Why should I lady Kaya? Unlike this uncivilized mongrel I am telling nothing but the truth." He turned back to Ussop. Pushing up his glasses. "Although I shouldn't blame you for your habit. After all whatever imaginary world he lies up must be preferable to his real life. Your mothers dead, a father who abandoned his son and sick wife to go gallivanting around the world without responsibility. I may even feel slightly sorry for you." He smirked while pushing his glasses up again.

"KLAHADORE!"

"You should have just lied about who your father was. At least them you might not have to live with the sh..."

***BAM***

The butler went crashing to the ground as Ussop's fist met with his face.

"You, you lowlife!"

"DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT!"

Klahadore rubbed his reddened cheek. Glaring up at the boy. "Like father like son."

"GOOD!" The long nosed boy yelled. "I'M GLAD I'M LIKE MY DAD! I'M PROUD HE'S A PIRATE!"

While the rest were looking wide eyed at the normally cowardly boys act of aggression a light bulb went of in Luffy's head. He'd seen that face minus the schnoz somewhere before.

The butler was not the least bit affected by the boys impassioned words. He merely smirked and brought his glasses back up. "That much is obvious. Attacking whatever doesn't agree with you, worrying this town daily with threats of invasion. Your as much of a scoundrel as he is. Even your 'relationship' with Ms Kaya is simply so you can get her money."

"Thats not..."

"ENOUGH! You are nothing more than pirate scum. I have no reason to argue with one such as you."

Ussop rushed him. Cocking his fist back, but found himself unable to send it forward. Thanks to the hand holding it back with the greatest of ease.

Ussop stared angrily at Luffy. "What are you..."

"Your only proving his point." Said Luffy.

"So! I said I'm proud to be..."

"The kind your talking about or the kind he's talking about?"

Ussop didn't even feel his arm lower. Far to caught off balance by that surprisingly wise statement to notice. He sighed and nodded. "I know my dad is a brave and honorable warrior of the sea. Not a scoundrel."

Luffy nodded and let go. Turning to walk out the gates. "Come on. Lets go before they kick us out."

"Luffy?" Nami called after him.

"Smart thing for a pirate!" Sneered the older man. "All of you, leave this place and never come back!"

Ussop glared at the man but relented and left. "Fine. I'll do just that then." With that he turned and headed out the gates. Much to the ire of his crew members. The boys figuratively rolled up their sleeves and charged the butler, but were picked up by Nami and Zoro who dragged them kicking and screaming after the other two. Leaving poor Kaya to watch after them, eyes brimming with tears.

* * *

"How can we have lost Luffy? He only left seconds before us." Exclaimed a bewildered Nami. Leaning against a fence which all non captain 'pirates' were against.

"Don't ask me. With the amount of time we've spent with him their isn't really much either of us can say about the captain." Commented Zoro.

Piiman chirped up "If he followed the captain that might explain it."

Ninjin nodded. "Yeah. When it comes to running Ussop can go all day without ever getting tired."

Unlimited stamina! Not bad for a blatant liar and coward. "So where do you think he is?" Asked Zoro.

"The coast." Said the carrot boy. "The captain always goes their when he's angry..."

"...or scared..." said Piiman.

"...sad..."

"...afraid..."

"...thinking..."

"...happy..."

Nami held her hands up. "OK we get it. If he's at the ocean for some reason then lets not bother him. Unless your other friend went to do just that."

'Other friend?' The two thought before realizing that the onion was missing from their stew.

"Uh. Tamanegi's gone again."

Piiman shrugged "So? He always turns up sooner or later. Always scared of something."

"BIG TROUBLE."

"Kind of like that."

Tamanegi ran up to his friends. Breaking hard enough to go head over heels before skidding to a halt in front of them. He picked himself up and once more started freaking out."

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! IT'S...IT'S...IT'S..."

"A horde of pirates?"

"A giant tsunami?"

"...A TASTELESS JOKE!" The Boy yelled.

The four tilted their heads to the side until the terrified boy pointed in the direction he had ran from.

…...I'm not touching this. Granted this scene was made before everything that happened but I don't care. Theirs no way I can say anything about this and still feel clean. I'll just say that it was a guy walking backwards towards them wearing a nice suit, one of those 'pharaoh chin things' and heart shaped glasses.

"Tasteless?" Said the man as though insulted. "Hardly. I'm just your everyday, run of the mill hypnotist." He continued walking backwards past them.

"Rriiiiight." "I don't believe you." They all said.

"I'm telling you. I'm just a hypnotist."

"Prove it!" Piped Piiman pompously.

The man stopped his backwards march, expelling air from his nose he reached into his pocket and brought out a razor sharp disk on a string.

"Alright you little twerp. Just look at the ring." His hand moved back and forth. Back and forth, making the weapon/ watch substitute swing in the same rhythm.

"When I say 'One, two, Django.' you will fall asleep. Understand? One, two, DJ..."

"That's it?" Butted in Zoro.

"What?" Said Django. Narrowing his heart shaped eyes at the swordsman.

"Well isn't their a 'you are getting sleepy'. Or 'listen to the sound of my voice'? I just don't believe it's that easy." He said sceptically.

"Well it is! It's as easy as one, Two..."

Nami sweat dropped.. So the guy was the real deal, but was it normal for the hypnotist to make 'themselves' fall asleep too?

* * *

Ussop sat facing the ocean. Trying and failing to let the unending blue wash away his fiery rage. The only thing keeping that repressed right now was his sadness. He knew that his storming away had probably upset Kaya. Far more than anything that butler says could do, but it had been pretty clear from that four eyed jackass that he'd get the island police on him if he went near the mansion again. What could he do?

"YASOPP!" A cry filled the air. Breaking the liars concentration and sending him onto his back in shock.

"What do you think your...did you say Yasopp?" Ussop asked.

Luffy nodded and jumped down from the tree he was hanging upside down from. "Yep. He's your dad right?"

Ussop found himself smiling despite himself. "Yeah! You know him?"

Luffy laughed and sat down next to his new friend. "Yeah! I had a feeling you might have been related. Since you look mostly like him, except for the big pointy nose of course." He said smiling.

Owner of the mentioned nose kept what he had to say about that in. Info about his father was priority. "Do you know where he is now?"

To the boys disappointment Luffy shook his head. "It's been ten years since I last saw him. But he was my favorite member of Shanks crew."

That made the teen smile. It was good to hear about his father. He feared something may have happened to him, but if he was part of Shank's crew then he...Shanks? SHANKS!

"My dad is part of red haired Shanks crew!" He'd expected his dad to have made it big, but Shanks? That was just wow.

"I never thought he'd be with someone like Shanks." He lay back on the grass grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah well, I heard about you a lot from him too. If he wasn't drinking or shooting he was talking about you."

* * *

Flashback

* * *

***GULP GULP GULP*******

"Ah" The man sighed. Putting down a large glass that had been drained of its inebriating contents. If you wanted to know what he looked like then just picture Ussop with a normal nose and if he were old enough that not shaving for a few days would actually do something.

"Luffy..." He said drunkenly to the boy fearlessly sitting across the table from the pirate. "...Did I ever tell you about..."

"Yes." The boy cut him off.

"Ay? I didn't even say what it was you brat!" Yasopp said growling.

Luffy shrugged "It's about Ussop. It's 'always' about Ussop." He said flatly.

That flat voice became a high pitch when the sniper tried to jam the boys head into his pint glass "You have a problem with me talking about my son you little twit!" The older man said angrily

"Nonononono." He stammered out.

Yassop let the boy go and stood on the table yelling proudly.

"I'll say it a thousand times if I have too! I miss my son! But alas I cannot ignore the call of the jolly roger!"

"AYE!" The other pirates cheered. They'd drink to that.

* * *

Flashback end

* * *

"Your dad was a great pirate! And he never stopped thinking about you." 'Never, ever, stopped talking about you.'

Ussop's smile only widened, so much so that he thought he saw a small twinge were the boys face muscles had locked in place. "Incredible. On the sea with one of the greatest pirates the world has ever known, battling hordes of enemies and braving almost certain death. Yet he still thinks of me! My dad is a great man!" He huffed. "Thats why I was so angry at that bastard before. Calling my father scum just because he's a pirate."

"Yeah. He's a real ass." Luffy agreed. "But you are gonna have to apologies if you want to see that girl again."

"Yeah I know." He conceded. "But only if he apologies to me first."

"Well heres your chance. Hes down there right now." Luffy said pointing over the cliffs.

"WHAT!" Screamed Ussop, his eyes bulging a foot forward out of his sockets as he followed his friends finger.

* * *

The man down on the beach was indeed Klahadore, across from him was the man dressed like...still not saying it. Klahadore was speaking with only a slight raise in tone to show he was angry.

"I specifically told you not to draw attention to yourself. Dressing like that and falling asleep in the middle of a road does accomplishes exactly the opposite of what I wanted you to do." The man pushed his glasses up.

Django shivered slightly and waved his hands in a warding gesture. "Hey. I didn't draw to much attention. They just thought I was some kind of performer."

"That was still not part of the plan. For your sake I hope you at least managed to fulfill the rest of my plan accordingly."

"Of course captain Kuro." The hypnotist said a little too quickly. "Your plan to murder that mansion owner is ready to go."

Kuro paused and looked around. Scanning the beach and cliff carefully.

"Captain?" Asked the impersonator.

He looked up at the cliffs for a second more before turning back to his accomplice. "Nothing. And I would rather you stopped calling me that. My name is Klahadore, head of staff of lady Kaya's estate. You are he captain of the black cat pirates Django. Never forget that."

Django rolled his eyes. Which was quite a feat since they were as heart shaped as his glasses. "Tell that to the crew. I haven't been called anything but first mate for the entire three years since you faked your death to move here. Posing as a harmless butler."

"I guarantee that they will call you captain when you bring back the considerable sum I'm paying you for your part in this." Said Klahadore/ Kuro said.

His former first mate grinned "Right. It's my job to kill the girl."

The former captain nodded. "Yes. But remember you must make it look like she died from the same illness that took her parents. So it will be your unique skills I need not your brute force. Before she dies you will make her write her will saying that she will leave everything to me. And when I say me I mean Klahadore Understand Django?" The ex pirate said with an edge in his voice.

"S-sure Ku-Klahadore But won't people get the smallest bit suspicious that she'd leave her fortune to her butler."

Klahadore sneered "Hardly. I've spent these three years building up my reputation among these people as a trusting and friendly person. No one will think twice when 'Lady Kaya's humble servant' gets everything upon her demise."

"Why not just kill her yourself. A real pirate storms in, kills everyone he sees and takes all he can!" Lectured Django.

"And get chased by the marines! No I plan to be able to enjoy my newfound wealth in peace."

Now that made the hypnotist laugh "Peace! You seriously expect me to believe the man who used to be captain Kuro would want peace?"

Klahadore faced away from his former minion. "Believe what you will. Just make sue that 'your' crew fulfills their part of the plan."

"Hee hee. You don't have to worry about that 'Klahadore'. Their like hungry animals. Caged up on that ship for a week, they're ready to paint this town red with blood."

* * *

"K...k..k..k..k..k..k...k..." Ussop tried to let his mouth form the word starting with K, but couldn't. Not to unbelievable since the only K words worth saying right now were 'Kill', 'Klahadore' and 'Kuro'. Not words particularly good to say when they were said with relevance to this kind of situation.

His skin was clammier than he ever remembered it being. Every instinct was telling him to run but it had seemed that he'd lost the ability to move his legs.

"That sounds like trouble." Luffy said casually. Scratching the top of his head again like his hat wasn't there.

"Trouble!" Ussop said in a loud whisper. "That's 'Kuro of the thousand plans' down there! A pirate that was known for making complicated plans that always worked. And now he plans to let his crew loose on the town!"

"That's bad." Said Luffy.

Ussop had an overwhelming urge to smack this idiot. "Of course it's bad." He said through his teeth. "If this works then their going to kill everyone in town including Kaya!"

At the word "Kaya." Ussop felt strength return to his legs, followed quickly by his sense of preservation. He stood up to bolt but was pulled back down by Luffy who was still looking down at the beach.

"What are you doing? I have to go back and warn everyone about the pirates." Ussop growled at Luffy in place of yelling.

Luffy stuck his tongue out at him. "Liar."

Ussop balked "Are you serious? You just saw that down there and you think I'm lying about it?"

Luffy shook his head.

"Then why?" The answer struck Ussop like a lightning bolt. "You're right I am a liar."

Luffy nodded. Seeing his new friend understand.

"I run through town every day screaming about pirates. Telling the truth for once won't make make me any more believable." He sank into depression. The one time. The 'one STINKING time' he wouldn't be lying and nobody would believe him. All he'd done with his constant lying was make himself totally unreliable for when it really mattered.

"So what do we do? We can't exactly just run down there and take him ourselves."

"Says who?" Luffy stood up and stretched much to Ussop's horror.

"What are you doing!"

"Going down to take care of business." Luffy said cockily. "If I don't come back go find my crew. They'll believe you if I'm not with you." He said before pushing down the liar and yelling out to the beach.

"YOUR NOT KILLING ANYONE!" He bellowed. Clearly catching the attention of the pirates.

The now and past captains of the black cat pirates looked up to see who would dare intrude on their secret meeting. Kuro I mean Klahadore slightly relieved to see it was only that idiot from before.

"Django, deal with this problem would you?" He said rubbing his temples lightly.

"Right." He pulled out his chakram on a string. "HEY YOU!"

"WHAT!" Luffy shouted back.

"LOOK AT THIS!" Django swung the weapon back and forth.

Ussop, hearing the noise but staying out of sight couldn't help but hold back a snort. Did that heart spectacled freak seriously expect anyone to be so stupid as to look at that thing just because he how stupid could you get?

"Luffy. Look away!" Pinocchio's big nosed brother whispered loudly.

"It's just some little disc." Said Luffy curiously. It was kinda neat. Going back and forth, back and forth.

"When I say 'One, two, Django' you will fall asleep. One, two..."

"'Luffy!" Ussop frantically grabbed at the boys foot to try and raise his sandal off his head.

"Djangoooooooo." Said the hypnotist loudly as his 'magic' went to work.

Ussop very suddenly found himself lifting the once unmovable foot from the side of his skull. Lifting it away too late to realize that Luffy never willingly let up on his foot, and when I say too late I mean he was halfway over the cliff by the time Ussop noticed. He grabbed onto the pirates foot and held for all he was worth. Making it look like the boy was teetering over the cliff by his toes.

"Django. Finish the job would you?" Said Kala-Kuro. Slapping his self hypnotized former first mate awake.

"Why? He's hanging by a foot. He wakes up and goes splat. And I won't have to waste a ring." Django explained lamely. Hey these things weren't exactly easy to make after all, and he couldn't just buy them.

Kuro relented. Even if the fool did survive the fall he'd never wake up in time for it to make a difference. He nodded then walked up the beach, Django following close behind.

* * *

"WAKE..." ***SMACK*** "...UP!" ***SMACK***

***SMACK***

***SMACK***

***SMACK***

Ussop panted. Glaring at the snoozing Luffy in frustration. The boy's face was swollen and covered in large red welts from Ussop's futile attempts to break him from the hypnosis.

"The other guy woke up in seconds. Why is it so hard for you?" He said.

The boy snorted then smacked his lips lightly in response.

"I don't have time for this." Sighing he hefted the boy onto his back. He was right when he said the town might not believe him, but Luffy's friends might. So with the surprisingly heavy (or light given how weedy he was) teen on his back he ran (and stumbled) towards Syrup village.

* * *

"*YAWN* Wow that guy was good." Said Piiman. Trying to rub the sleep out of his eye from his twenty minute involuntary nap.

"You know." Nami said to Zoro. "I heard somewhere that only the simple minded can be hypnotized."

"...*snort*"

"IDIOT!" She slammed her fist down on the grass haired simpleton, waking him up rather than hurting him.

"*grumble* women." He said rubbing his head.

Nami gritted her teeth and raised her gist again when she heard a panicked yelling.

"TROUUBBLLEE!"

The two pirates and three wannabes turned their heads to see a needle nosed liar running at them like he would fall flat at any moment. The Straw hats eyes widened as they saw an unconscious Luffy on his back. The lanky boy would have ran right past them towards town if Zoro hadn't grabbed the back of his overalls, leaving the boy pumping his legs fast enough to dig a ditch where he was standing and leaving Roronoa buried up to his waist in dirt and earth before he could realize he wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh. There you are." He said somewhat embarrassed.

He shirked away from Zoro's death glare and looked at at Nami, who was more concerned about the unconscious devil fruit eater on Ussop's back.

"What happened?" She asked while Ussop put down Luffy and propped him against the fence they were just sitting on. "Why is Luffy out cold."

"He was hypnotized, by this guy dressed like..."

"DON'T SAY IT!" They all shouted.

"Sounds like you met Django." Said Nami squatting down to get a look at her blissfully asleep captains face.

Ussop looked at her. "You know him!" He stood up and made warding gestures at her. "T-hen your, your in on the p-p-plan!"

"What's wrong captain? He was a little weird but a nice guy." Piped up Piiman.

"YOU TOO!" He leapt away from his mini crew. "Even my own crew is in on Kuro's plan. How far does his corruption reach?"

"Kuro?" The name sounded familiar to Nami and Zoro. "As in 'Kuro of the thousand plans? What does he have to do with this?"

"As if you don't know traitors!" Snapped Ussop, his face lit up with as much anger as he could muster to hide the knocking of his knees. "You know full well that Klahadore is really Kuro! And that he plans to attack the village and take Kaya's mansion and money for himself!"

That threw everyone through a loop. Although they really weren't sure why since 'the butler is evil' isn't exactly unheard of.

"We have to warn the town!" Said Ninjin.

Zoro shook his head. "And what? Have the guys who say pirates are coming everyday do it again?"

Tamanegi nodded, his expression grim. "He's right. It won't matter if were honest this time cause they'll just think were lying again."

"WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO!" Piiman yelled, his eyes brimming with tears of dread. "Were 10 year olds! We can't just go and fight a horde of pirates on...our..." The three veggie- kids looked up and the swordsman, as though expecting something.

Zoro glared at them for a moment before sighing. "It's just lucky for you I really can take on a horde of pirates alone." He then turned and headed off in the direction Ussop came.

"HA! You can't fool me!" Ussop said proudly. "Now that I found out about your fiendish plan your just trying to trick me. So I'll follow you trying to stop you while your crew destroys an unwarned village. Well it won't work, your not even heading the right way!" Ussop said in superiority.

Nami and Zoro looked at each other while Ussop was laughing with his eyes closed in triumph.

"Okay then. Where are the pirates landing?" Asked Nami.

Ussop stuck his tongue out. "As if you didn't know the only place they would land would be the west port of the island."

"And wheres that?" Asked Zoro.

"Oh you guys are good at playing dumb. It's that way of course." He pointed in the direction of the cliff.

"Thanks." The two said. Picking up their sleeping captain and running off in the direction.

Ussop smiled from ear to ear. Standing in the middle of the road and looking extremely pleased with himself...until.

"Uh captain. Even though were not really bad guys. You told people you thought were you knew their plan and were they could go to tell their crew you were onto them." Said Tamangi.

While his expression remained unchanged, his complexion paled significantly before he took off after the three.

Ninjin, Piiman and Tamanegi looked at each other before running back to town and hid under their beds. They were just kids after all.

* * *

The port of the syrup island was perfect. In a battle sense of course. A narrow road led up from the stone beach on a steep incline, tall cliffs on either side left no room to maneuver and was an excellent vantage point for anyone at the top of it against anyone coming up.

"You sure they'll come up here?" Zoro asked the slightly roughed up (by his standards) Ussop which he was holding in the air at arms length. Naturally he'd had to pound some sense into the boy.

That had taken a lot of pounding.

"Ye-ah." Ussop groaned out. "It's the best place for any ship to land."

"Thats good." Said Nami. Propping Luffy on a cliff wall. "Now we just wait for the pirates to show up."

"W-w-w-wait!" Stammered Ussop.

"Of course we wait." Said Zoro. "Unless you'd rather run away like a GET BACK HERE!" Zoro once more grabbed the boys suspenders forcing him to a halt.

Nami rolled her eyes while trying to shake Luffy awake. "I thought you said you were a brave pirate?"

Ussop gulped. "I am. I just..."

"Lie?" Zoro butted in.

"..." The lanky teen looked away.

Nami had moved onto violent shaking "This is your one chance to prove to the villagers and yourself that your not a coward. What do you say?"

Ussop stared at her, her eyes looking into his very soul. Searching it for a slither of courage, an ounce of bravery.

"...I say...tomorrow will be just another day in my village!" He said. His fearful look suddenly becoming one of bravery.

***CLACK*** ***CLACK*** ***CLACK***

He grabbed his knees and held them together tightly. Earning looks from the two pirates.

"Hey you try going up against blood thirsty pirates and not being scared!"

Zoro turned to Nami and raised an eyebrow. Nami looked up at him while violently slapping her dead log of a captain.

"Your the exception Zoro."

Zoro looked at her for a moment before nodding and turning back.

"All we need to do now is wait here for them to invade."

Ussop balked. "What about Kaya! Kuro's going to kill her!"

Nami shook her head "You told us yourself, Kuro's waiting for that hypnotist to do it for him. So right now her home is the best place for her."

The boy wanted to keep arguing the point but kept quiet.

"Besides." She continued. "We still have to wake this lump up!" ***SMACK*** "OW! My hands gonna break before he wakes up." She sighed.

"Let me try." Said Zoro. Looking at Luffy and drawing his breath a little. "Di..."

"Hold it!" Said Nami, cutting Zoro off. "You are 'not' going to make me feel like an idiot by mentioning 'that' and waking him up instantly."

"Mentioning what?"

"Dinner!"

"DINNER! WHERE!" Luffy yelled. Sitting up and twisting his head from side to side looking for his meal.

Nami face palmed, Zoro smirked.

"'Now' we just wait for them to arrive."

* * *

"Piiman?"

"Yeah Tamanegi?"

"How much longer are we gonna hide under your bed?"

"Until the day after tomorrow."

True to their word the vegi pirates had hightailed it back to town, diving under Piiman's bed, planning to remain there until Kuro's pirates had left. His mother had wondered why they would do such a thing, but just assumed they were playing their pirate game again.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" Shouted Ninjan. Pulling himself out from under the bed and staring down at his friends with unseen eyes. "Were the great Ussop pirate crew! We shouldn't be hiding!"

"Ninjan were kids." Piiman explained, pulling himself out as well. "And as much fun as it is playing and dreaming about being pirates, we can't do anything against an actual pirate crew."

Ninjan shook his head violently. "There has to be something! What do you think the captain would say if he found us cowering under the bed when the pirates come!"

"Make room for me?" Replied the onion boy.

Ninjan just gave the two a disgusted look and made for the door. "You two do what you want. Me, I'm going to go do something. The captain may be a coward and a liar, but even he's going to help protect the island."

The door rattled as he left.

The two boys eyes fell to the floor, absently searching it hoping to find their backbones.

The door timbers rattled again seconds later as the two ran off to join their crew mate.

* * *

Merry smiled as he stood in the doorway of his mistresses room. Sleeping deeply despite her pained expression. Sighing he closed the door.

Damn that Ussop! What did the mistress see in that boy? He was hated by the town, trespassed on mansion grounds, was a notorious liar and...and...and the only one who ever make her laugh. Not even Klahadore could manage that.

He traversed the long hallways of the mansion before coming to the servants lounge. A place were staff could relax and enjoy themselves without getting in the masters or any guests way. Of course with lady Kaya being confined to her room most of the time they had pretty much claimed the houses real and considerably larger lounge as their own.

He found Klahadore the only occupant of the room. Strange, usually their was three or four others in here even at this time of day. He was looking over a long thin box.

"Oh dear." He said. Drawing the head butlers attention.

"Merry?" He sounded surprised, and rather annoyed to see the lamb man.

"I see you found the present Kaya instructed me to hide from you." He walked over to Klahadore just as the man opened the box, revealing a pair of glasses with a tighter frame than the ones he had.

"They were a present to celebrate your 3 year anniversary since coming to this house. She noticed how your glasses kept slipping and had these made for y..."

***CRACK***

The word died as Kaya's most trusted butler, the man who stood beside her through ill health and grievous lose, ruthlessly crushed her heartfelt present beneath his heel.

"Useless." He said simply. Looking out into the sky deliberately avoiding Merry's gaping look.

"What's wrong with you Klahadore! That was a gift to Ms Kaya to show how much she cared for you!"

He pushed his glasses up, earning an agitated grunt from the other man. "I could care less for the gifts of a frail little wench. Unless of course the gift was, oh say, this estate."

Merry was going to retort when Klahadore looked right at him. His breathing became heavy and his brow sticky with sweat as his what he guessed soon to be former work mate stared at him with his soul piercing glare.

"Do you know why I haven't replaced these glasses on my own Merry?" Klahadore asked, stepping closer to the panting Merry, a liveliness in his eyes never before seen. "I leave them to remind myself of who I was, and what I can do."

"LADY KA...!"

***SKLTCH***

* * *

The dusk gave way to twilight, and twilight turned into dawn. Out of the range of even the keenest of sight a boat bobbed on the ocean. Creeping closer to the island with every groan of it's timbers like an arthritic cat stalking a mouse.

Django stood on deck, watching his destination grow closer and closer. "You men know the plan?" He asked, never bothering to turn around.

"Aye captain." Replied a burly man with cat ears on top of his head. "Rush in, kill everyone and raze the town."

"Wrong!" He snapped back. "Rush in. Raise as much hell as you want. Turn every building to rubble for all I care. But 'don't' kill anyone!"

"TA HELL WITH THAT! I've we've been coped up on this boat for days! I want blood! I want gore! I want to see grown men crying like children before I run them threw! The sound of bones groaning when I bend their spines backwards until they break! I did not become a member of this crew to act like a schoolyard bully!"

Their was a murmur of agreement among the crew at that. Django still didn't look at them.

"So you won't do it? I can dig that. I just need to run it by Kuro to see if he's ok with a change in his plan."

The murmuring ceased instantly. The hypnotist smiled, glad to see that they saw his point.

Meanwhile back on the island the Straw hats and Ussop were preparing for the invasion. As it turned out Ussop conveniently had a copious amount of oil at his home. He didn't have any use for it, he didn't cook with it, use it for heating or treat anything with it. He just had it...yeah.

"Okay heres the plan." Explained Ussop . Using his 'captain' attitude. "The black cat pirates were known to be as agile as they are bloodthirsty. So with this oil and the steep walls on either side we can take all that away from them. Then it's just a matter of using ranged attacks to safely take them out."

"Wow. Thats actually a good plan" Said Nami.

Luffy was less impressed. "I still think me and Zoro could take them out no problem. Maybe even just me."

Nami shook her head. "We can't always rely on your powers Luffy. You might not be there when their is a fight and it won't be good for us not to be ready."

That was the official version at least. The truth was that she was terrified by Luffy's powers. The way the darkness gave off an unearthly chill that ran up her spine every time it past near her. The unnatural way it twisted as writhed like it was alive, spreading over everything more like a virus than the goopy smoke it was. It was in complete contrast to Luffy's warm and carefree nature. He and that power seemed like the sun and the moon, two entirely different entities that from each other that should only met for the briefest of moments once in a lifetime.

Luffy knew better than to argue with Nami so he relented. "Now we just have to wait."

Ussop nodded. Crossing his arms and glaring down the cliff road. Trying to look as imposing as possible.

Three hours later he was starting to get cramp.

"***YAWN*** Where the heck are they? This is just boring." Whined Luffy, who was sorely tempted to go back to dreamland.

"Yeah." Said Zoro, his own eyes threatening to close "We should have been able to at least spot them on the horizon by now."

Ussop was just as baffled. "I don't get it. This port is the only port in use on the island that a boat of any real size can dock."

"In use? You mean they're are others." Said Nami.

Ussop's eyes widened in horror as he realized his mistake.

"Uh oh! Theres an old port up north!" Gulped Ussop.

"What! Thats where our boats are! Why didn't you tell us before?." Screeched Nami.

"It's not really been used in years! I thought since Kuro knew the island he'd have them dock here instead of an old unused one."

Nami Huffed "That just means that no one would be there to warn the village before it's to late."

Ussop paled, taking off up the cliff then in the direction he knew the other port to be in.

"Come on. We have to get there before they reach the village!" He said right before vanishing into the woods and from sight.

Nami went to follow but jumped back when she saw that damned smoke explode from her captain. Which landed her smack on the oily slope. Losing her balance she desperately grabbed onto whatever she could find, which just happened to be Wado resting on Zoro's belt, sadly this didn't give her the leverage she desired.

"NAMI!" The self proclaimed bad ass crowed as the thief stepped on him up as he fell back onto the oil, using him as a perch to jump away from the oil.

"Sorry Zoro but I have to keep our treasure safe. She rushed up the hill shying away from Luffy and going past him.

"NAMI!" He called after her "I can get us there in a second!"

"No thanks!" She cried back. Rushing into the forest.

He shrugged. "Suit yourself." His darkness shoot upwards into the sky, it stopped about 50 feet into its ascension before widening for another tendril of darkness to blast out in the direction of where Luffy knew the ship was. Going out of the line of sight.

"Worm hole!"

The blackness consumed him as he was pulled up into the sky and towards the port. Leaving the indignant shouting of a minty haired teen to fall on deaf ears.

***Sigh*** "I'm going to kill that girl."

* * *

"WE HAVE ARRIVED!" Shouted the acting captain as the black cats galleon came to a halt. "Gentlemen I give you full permission to GO NUTS!"

"YYYYAAAAHHHH!" Screamed the crew. Raising their swords and guns as all the pent up energy they had was finally allowed to be released. Feral growling emanated from several of the cat men, two even discarded swords and settled for a butchers strap to sharpen their nails on.

"Let's go turn that town to rubble!" Shouted one.

"I'm gonna beat a bunch of people to bloody wrecks!" Crowed one trying to work round the 'can't kill someone rule."

"Enough!" Said one before jumping over the side, landing agily and started racing up the hill. Soon followed by the others, pouring over the side and darting towards the village, swords raised and howling like frenzied dogs.

"Lets destroy everything!"

The one who said that found himself lying back on the ground seconds later as something hard impacted with his head. As with several other member of his crew.

"Theres someone on the top of the slope." Pointed out Django. Gritting his teeth slightly when he saw who it was.

Ussop had retaken his commanding pose. This time holding what looks to be a child's slingshot in his hand and a handful of ammo in the other. He stared down at them with nothing but bravery and disdain on his face. His legs steady and his arms unshaken. He indeed looked every bit the brave warrior he claimed to be...minus the cheap slingshot.

"YOUR DEAD BRAT!" One cat eared pirate yelled before he went crashing to the ground from a slingshot volley. Django's eyes widened slightly behind his glasses, he'd never seen the brat uncross his arms.

"I AM CAPTAIN USSOP! AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE ONE STEP PAST ME! LEAVE HERE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"

Ussop internally smirked as the pirates paused to consider his words. He just needed to stall long enough for Luffy and Zoro to arrive. He couldn't hold out forever with his meager ammo supply. Although he was a little worried that he was the first one here.

* * *

"This isn't were the boats were." Said Luffy. In fact this looked like an entirely different village. He 'really' needed to see where he was going when he used the wormhole.

"Okay lets try this again." Darkness rose off him once more..."

* * *

"GO AWAY! OR MY CREW OF A BILLION BLOODTHIRSTY GIANTS WILL STOMP ALL OVER YOU!"

The pirates sweat dropped. "A billion giants...kid are you even trying to make a believable lie."

"A BILLION GIANTS! EVERYONE BACK ON THE SHIP!" Screamed Django before he made a break for the boat.

"He's lying captain."

"WHAT!" The heart eyed pirate roared "HOW DARE YOU TRICK ME!"

'Well at least he fell for it.' Ussop thought meekly.

"Men! I don't think Kuro will mind if we turn this twerp into a grease stain!"

Maniacal grins spread all around when he said that. A little mutilation was just what they needed to take the edge off so they didn't go to far in the village.

Ussop gulped but held his weapon steady. As did Django. Even from the distance between the two Django's disk drew Ussop's attention, eyes shifting back and forth in rhythm with the pendulum.

"When I say 'One, Two Django' you'll drop the weapon and lay down."

"One."

"Two"

"Djan..."

***WHACK***

Ussop's eyes were torn away from the ring that made up his world as a wooden staff crashed into the back of his head.

Nami lifted her pole off the liars head. Grabbing his arm and lifting him back to his feet.

"Ow!" He rubbed where a lump was quickly rising. "What was that for! You could have made my brains shot out of my eye sockets!"

"Your lucky it doesn't fall out of your ears." She snapped back "That hypnotist guy down there was gonna make you lay down and let yourself get drawn and quartered!"

"Hypnotist?" He looked back down at Django again. He nearly palmed himself for not noticing before, he'd just seen this guy less than 24 hours ago for pities sake.

"I'm/ your an idiot." Ussop stared at the ground. Deeply depressed.

By now the feline themed felons had grown very tired of all the talking. With a yowl they raced up the road once more. Frenzied looks in all there eyes.

Nami stood her ground and readied her staff. Ussop reached into his pocket and threw out what was inside at the pirates.

"SURE KILL INFERNO CALTROPES!"

The metal spikes scattered in front of them. Right in their enemy's path. Just as Ussop grabbed Nami's arm and pulled her back on the ground.

"What are you..."

***BBBOOOMMM***

Flame and earth scattered everywhere. As did several horribly wounded pirates before landing back near their captains feet. Broken, bloody and out for the count.

Nami looked up from her downed position, gaping at the large hole that had appeared where they threw the caltropes.

***SMACK***

"STOP DOING THAT!" Ussop shouted. Rubbing the back of his head.

"Well thats what you get for carrying explosives around in your back pocket!" Nami countered.

"Oh so I was supposed to fight viscous pirates with kiddy weapons? I'm a coward not a fool." Ussop sarcastically replied

Wow. Who would have thought a weedy lying coward armed with a slingshot would actually be smart enough to bring real weapons to a fight. (2)

"Got anything else?"

Ussop gave her a strange smirk "Oh yeah!"

* * *

Meanwhile

* * *

Meanwhile we find that Zoro and Luffy both suffer from the dreaded Hibiki syndrome! An ingrained lack of a sense of direction. While Zoro after finally escaping the oil ran about the woods like an idiot. Luffy kept porting around the island, his own inability to determine where 'north' was exaggerated by the fact he was looking for some where he couldn't see. He needed a birds eye view to...mmm theres an idea.

He make his darkness rise straight up, anyone looking in that direction of the island assumed it was from a house smoke stack. He teleported himself up into the air for a second, trying to spot the location.

"There!" He said gleefully. Before his powers shot out towards their destination.

* * *

"AGH!" Yelled one of the pirates as something powerful impacted against his forehead, sending him into la la land.

"Ussop smirked and lined up another shot "That was captain Ussop's 'Sure kill death star'..."

(Insert imperial march here.)

"...I have enough for each of you. And all it takes is one shot!"

The cats hesitated for an instant, before pressing forward. Too them it was a choice of a few dying or all of them dying when Kuro found out they failed.

Ussop pulled back his slingshot and let more ammo fly, failing three enemies in rapid succession in the time it would take for others to fell one, slowly he was pushed up the hill by them. Being forced to give inch after inch, even a few he was sure he had at least knocked out were getting back to there feet, meaning they're skulls must be really quite thick. They were getting to close for him too throw anymore explosive caltropes and he'd tossed out his normal ones for these ones.

"Nami. I'm no good at close range. I could use your help! Nami!" Against his better judgment he found the girl creeping up the hill as quietly as possible.

She turned around, embarrassed. "Well I thought you looked like you were taking care of things ok. So I figured I'd only get in your LOOK OUT!"

The boy didn't have time to turn as he felt a sharp pain erupt in the back of his head. Thanks to a crudely made stone mallet.

To Nami's horror he crashed face first into the ground, probably breaking that thin nose of his like a twig, blood pouring from his would staining the ground red.

The pirate grinned wickedly. Showing two rows of sharp, jagged teeth. "Brat you don't know how much I'm going to enjoy this." He said right before he lifted his hammer high above his head and brought it crashing down.

Nami brought her hands to her mouth as the pirate continued to pound Ussop's skull like a drum, each time the rock tied to the stick becoming more and more soaked in his blood. She tried to move forward but was caught by a pirate who grabbed her arms and pulled them behind her back.

The others watched, most just stopping to watch the show while others kept walking up, albeit slowly so they could take in the delightful sight. After a few more blows the black cat pirate let his hammer fall to his side, panting and satisfied that he'd gotten 'some' of his aggression out.

"Well that was fun." He said, tuning around to walk away. Before a hand grabbed his ankle. He looked down his some amazement that the boy was still alive, conscious even!

Ussop, his face soaked in his own life liquid, panting and unable to stand growled up at the pirate. "I don't care what happens to me. But as long as I'm alive I won't allow you to make today different from any other day in my village!"

"If a hammer won't do then how about this." Said another cat man, bursting from the gathered crowd, a sword ready to flay Ussop.

Just as it was about to connect the blow was parried by a pole...held by another cat pirate.

"NO! I want to beat him to death." Crowd the pirate.

Another stepped out, brandishing a dagger "No way! I'm gonna slit his veins and hang him up to dry."

"Crush him!"

"Shot him!"

"Slice him!"

"Gut Him!"

"LEAVE HIM!"

The pirates turned to the sound of the voice. Not expecting the sound to come out of Django's mouth.

"YOU IDOTS HAVE WASTED ENOUGH TIME! NEITHER HE OR THE GIRL WILL DO ANYTHING TO STOP US SO LEAVE THEM BE! OR WOULD YOU RATHER LET KURO DOWN AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

That was all the encouragement that was needed for them to make a break up the hill. Throwing Nami to the dirt and trampling over Ussop like he wasn't there.

"NO!" He shouted. Reaching out fruitlessly, trying to grab onto at least one of the wicked men. "I won't let you destroy my village!"

***BA-DOOM***

Out of nowhere, a mass of black smoke crashed down at the top of the slope. Clearly covering something heavy because the moment it hit the ground in front of the climbing pirates exploded, sending them all flying back.

Ussop's eyes widened in shock, while Nami's closed so she didn't have to look at it. The smoke instead of rising fell to earth. Sucking into whatever mass it was covering, revealing a grinning straw hat boy.

"L-Luffy!" Ussop said in shock.

Luffy just grinned wider. "Ussop, next time you should just lead me where we need to go. Nami's the navigator not me."

Django looked up at the boy. He was sure it was the kid he'd made fall over the cliff yesterday. Did he survive? Must have, that thing he did with the smoke could only mean one thing."

"Captain..." Said one of the crew lucky enough to have been at the bottom of the slope when Luffy crashed. "...He took out more than half the crew by falling from the sky! What is he!"

Django pushed up the bridge of his glasses and gulped. "No doubt about it. That kids a devil fruit eater."

"D-d-devil fruit!" Another lackey stuttered.

The black cats were known to be some of the most powerful and dangerous pirates on the east blue. However being the strongest on the easy blue usually meant being the weakest on any other. It was rare for a pirate in this ocean (Buggy being an exception) to have a devil fruit ability, and those that do usually go to the grand line as quickly as possible. A crew that made their living in the east could have a long and happy career without ever meeting one of these monsters.

Django bit his lip, their was only really one thing that could be done for just such an emergency, he just hoped he'd survive the aftermath. Lifting up his pendent he called attention to his men.

Meanwhile Nami was verbally chewing up Luffy's inability to reach where the location fast enough, and futiley using his bad sense of direction as a defense, to which Nami only attacked him further by saying he couldn't even remember where the boats were.

Ussop meanwhile was staring at the pirate with wide eyed astonishment. He'd heard rumors about men like him, creating earthquakes by punching the air, biting through steel and stone as though they were cooked meat. Seeing it though, that was something in a whole other league.

"How strong are you?" He asked to no one. Not expecting to get a reply.

"I can take this whole crew if I wanted!" Luffy said proudly. Pumping his fist and getting ready for a serious brawl.

Nami sighed but nodded. "Just remember try not to use your power unless you totally have to." She said. Picking up her staff again and moving into a fighting stance.

Ussop managed to raise himself up onto his feet by himself pulling up his slingshot with him. "Why? If he's got the power then he should use it! It'd save us a lot of trouble."

Luffy shrugged "Dunno. Something about relying on me or something. Lets just get this started!"

"NOT WITHOUT ME!" Came a scream from the woods. Zoro burst out of the foliage, panting and gasping for air. Two of his swords out in front of him and covered in drying oil.

"What took you?" Snapped Nami.

"Are you kidding! You pushed me down the hill remember!" He snapped back.

Nami ignored him and glared down at the pirates staring at Django's pendent swing. "Whatever. Let's just focus on this ok?"

The swordsman grumbled but lifted his lowered swords showing he was ready.

Back down the slope the men were staring at the swinging object, the chakram on string going left then right, left then right.

"Uh captain." Said one pirate while keeping his concentration on the chakram "Aren't you a little far away to be hypnotizing us?"

"No it's cool!" The impersonator shouted from up on the boat. Not wanting to take any chances, after what happened last time. He shivered, he'd spent weeks looking like a mummy after 'that'.

"OK. When I say 'One, two, Django' you will be uninjured and invulnerable, and you will be superhumanly strong." He called out loud enough for the Straw hats to hear.

"He can't be serious." Said Ussop. "Hypnotism can only make someone believe what you want them to. You can't heal people or give them superpowers."

"He doesn't have to." Said Zoro, making the others look at him "But you can make them ignore pain by making them believe they aren't and can't be hurt. And switch off the limit's the brain puts on the body that stop it from tearing itself apart."

"He can do all that! Maybe I should ask him to join our crew!"

***WHACK*** ***WHAM***

"Idiot." Nami and Zoro said as one before getting back into their stances.

"OK..here we go." Django gulped "One..."

The Straw hats tensed.

"...T-two..."

The black cats grinned.

"...Django!"

***Click***

It was that simple. Like flipping a light switch their minds just turned off. The entire ensemble of pirates lost control of their own body's as reason and fear were pushed aside to make room for rage and instinct. Their pupils vanished from A.W.S, speech was replaced by guttural growling and snarling like the animals they were...more like dogs than cats really. Each one of them moved about as if they were completely unharmed, despite some of them bleeding profusely and having broken bones they showed not a wince of pain. Some threw their weapons to the ground, one even dropped his cutlass and charged fist first at the cliff side.

***BA-KOOM***

To our hero's shock, a massive fissure opened up where the black cats fist and landed, running up the cliff face and causing a massive chunk of it to fall away.

"Crap! They really are super strong! Were all dead!" Clearly Ussop was a little tense.

"You two just get to safety. Me and the captain will deal with this right Luffy. Luffy?" Said Zoro looking at his captain

"YAAAHHHH!" Yelled Luffy, Who appeared to be suffering from the same white eye disease as the black cats. Darkness exploded of of him in waves. Making Nami get away faster with Ussop on her shoulder.

Zoro said nothing, he did wisely backpedal away from the human black whole as his unrestrained powers lashed out at him and everything else.

"ATTACK!" Cried out the heart eyed captain, before ducking .

Now here is why Django hates using this form of hypnosis. You see pound for pound the human body is far stronger than most of us believe it can be without becoming one of those giant muscle men who make a living flexing in speedo's. We are actually capable of far more than we appear to be, that's 'if' we were allowed to use our strength to it's maximum.

The brain itself imposes restrictions on the body, keeping us from injuring ourselves by telling us how much we can lift or how fast we can run. What Django did was not just remove the restrictions on their strength, but everything. The black cats at this moment were more free than most can ever hope to be. The limits that kept all human beings from achieving their fullest potential was gone. Adrenaline pumped through their body in buckets as the brains control on the Adrenal gland was let go. Needless to say it was this that caused the sudden berserkerism.

They lashed out at everything!Some charged up the hill, others joined in on attacking the rock while others in an act Django feared starting punching fist sized holes in the boat.

"Stop you idiots! Get them not me!" Django crowed over the railing. Not willing to show his face less he be targeted..

Luffy on the other hand didn't move. His powers however translated all the aggression and sensations of power he was feeling right now. Reaching out and twisting through the air in ways that would make even the most cynical of people believe it was alive.

Zoro had managed to run after Nami and Ussop and pull them drag them out of danger just in time as the logia power shot out in all directions. Down the cliff, over the trees behind him. Everywhere! Grabbing the berserk men and dragging them into the darkness with only screams of indignation before they went silent.

It didn't stop there though. It stretched out further, the bubbling and twisting blackness soon reached the black cats vessel. Going under and around it until they're was no chance that anyone could escape it's grasp. Django jumped away from the black muck as it crawled over the ship, everything started to groan as the wood was pulled into the mysterious place where all that touches the yami smoke goes. The figurehead already crushed into splinters before being pulled in.

He had no way to escape and the black smoke coming from that kid obscured him from vision. Their was only one thing left to do.

"SHAMU! BUJI!"

Just before the ship was completely drawn into the darkness two shapes shot out of it. Landing on a cliff which the darkness hadn't yet crawled up. One was a very skinny and obviously catty looking man. Wearing a black shirt covering a thin body and hunch back, a yellow bow tie and short shorts which showed off his hairy leg's. He wore split toe shoes like the feet of a cat, gloves with razor nails and a pair of cat ears on his curly blond hair.

His counterpart unceremoniously dropped his captain from the fireman's carry. He was somewhat taller than the other one, and much much bigger in the waist line He wore no cat ears but had his hair done in a style to make it seem like he did. He wore a cape as thick as a blanket over his shoulders tied up with a collar with a large bell on it. He had a white version of those claw gloves on, the same shoes and a pair on vertical striped trousers on tied by (what else) a sash, he wore no top revealing a body that while fat was rippling with muscle underneath.

"That little smoke stack swallowed our ship Shamu!" Said the big one angrily. Watching the black lump where the ship was quickly become smaller until the space is had occupied was flat.

"Yeah. Which means were gonna have to teach him a lesson Buji." Said the skinny one.

"And how do you think your getting near him?" Said Django. The darkness continuing to spread, the stepped back as it climbed up the cliff. The smoke funnel growing wider with every moment, if it had been Ussop's intention for this to go unnoticed then he's failed spectacularly.

Shamu waved him off. "You caught him in the hypnotism with the crew right?"

Django nodded.

Buji spoke up "Then pushing himself like that. Even for a devil fruit user I'd say he's already went farther than whats safe for him. The kid will burn himself out and croak any second now."

He wasn't wrong. Even those as powerful as logia users had limits to how much they could do. Which is why they couldn't flash freeze the entire ocean, or control every grain of sand in the world with a thought. Their was after all only so much power anyone could control at once. Luffy's power was that of the endless darkness, he could create a cloud of darkness that could theoretically grow forever. The boy controlling it however could not, controlling his power did after all require actual effort, more than what one would think. Definitely more than what he could handle in his state of mindlessness.

"AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" Luffy cried out. Smoke pouring off him in all directions, his heart pumping so fast you'd think he was having a heart attack if the rest of his systems weren't going faster as well. His insides straining to keep going at a pace they were not used to. His skin turning redder and redder as blood pumped faster and faster.

Shamu grabbed the back of his captains collar as darted away to avoid the gloppy blackness coming at them. Zoro turned up the speed to avoid the void that was consuming the flora and fauna that didn't escape behind him. By now folks from all over the island were looking northward, guessing there must be a fire coming from near the port and spreading to the forest. They fled south to try and avoid the spread knowing they couldn't stop a fire that big. That is except for a former butler, and a tired young women being led unseen by the butler to the south by three little boy's out of site of the former butler.

More and more power continued to fly out of the teen, raising to the heavens and piercing the white clouds in a colossal black pillar.

"YYYYYAAAA-aagh! AgH! AH! ah...aaaaahhhhh." As predicted by the cat man, Luffy's power began sputtering. Darkness spitting out of him like someone coughing up smoke. Slowly he lowered himself to the ground. His body crying out to keep going, pumped with enough energy and power to go on forever, but the damage that went hand and hand with it taking it's toll on him even if he couldn't feel it. His muscles weakened, his organs straining. Finally he could no longer take it and collapsed on the ground. His overwhelmed body slipping into unconsciousness.

The darkness vanished, instantly I might add. Evaporated into thin air. Along with several dozen trees, nearly the whole of the black cat pirates and their ship. None of them suddenly reappearing like some old cliché would have you believe, just gone.

The cat brothers and their captain slowly shimmied over to the cliff edge, peering over it to see if the coast was clear. The three growing wide eyed at the sight, Shamu chuckling nervously.

"See Django. He wore himself out. No danger."

'And no crew and no ship either.' The other two thought. Seeing not a scrap of cloth or a splinter of wood to show that the infamous black cats had once been here.

"Well at least he's down. You two had better finish him before he wakes up."

The two grinned. Shamu wickedly and Shamu stupidly. Jumping over the side of the cliff the two landed without injury, Buji doing so while cracking the earth beneath himself. They raced at Luffy, Shamu set his hand in a knife position to impale Luffy while Buji leapt into the air again to crush him.

"CATASTROPE!"

"UN-NAMED KNIFE STRIKE!"

*BOOOOM*

"YYYYEEEOOOOWWW!"

For any aspiring warriors out their who work with a partner, let me give you a piece of advice. Don't try to attack your prey using two different methods. Like a hand through the chest while your larger than life partner is planning to crush the same person under his considerable weight, cause whether you succeed or not you'll still end up with something of yours being broken.

"Sorry brother." Buji apologized while his skinny brother was rolling on his back in sheer agony.

"SORRY! YOU CRUSHED MY HAND AND BROKE MY ARM YOU BIG..." He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Buji wasn't thee best when it came to words, so instead of further trying to console his brother he turned to see the cause of the injury.

Roronoa Zoro was standing where a clearing of trees used to be. Holding a panting Luffy under his arms. The swordsman also looked tired, pushing himself as hard as he did to get back to Luffy as soon as the cloud vanished will do that to a guy.

Now Buji wasn't one for subtly or tact, seeing his brother was injured he abandoned all sense and charged Zoro like a raging bull. The swordsman tossed his captain to the side were he landed with a grunt and drew his swords, bringing them into an x just as Buji's claws smashed into them.

He went rocketing back a good twenty feet. He would have crashed into the trees if they had still been there. His arms felt numb from the sheer force of the strike the fat cat had unleashed.

"I'm gonna rip your head off!" Buji snarled and leap at Zoro. Using his formidable leg strength to launch with the speed of a bullet. Zoro rolled out of the way just in time, not expecting someone so big to be that quick. Buji cartwheeled in mid air, stamping his feet down as he continued to fly forward. He skidded only a second before he launched forward again.

It wasn't all that difficult for Zoro to dodge the flying fat ball. He'd been training his eyes to be as sharp as his 'true' goal. While he had to admit Buji was fast he could effortlessly avoid him as long as he kept his eye out. The problem was that he couldn't attack back, Buji was cutting it to close for him to draw his swords.

'If I can't attack with my weapons then theirs only really one thing I can go.' Thought Zoro.

As he dodged to the side, Buji Once more spun in mid air and slammed his feet into the ground. Causing the earth to buckle underneath his feet. He snarled in rage, bringing his arms out in front of him with his fingers curled towards Zoro in an imitation of cat paws. He launched himself at Zoro again. His claws making the wind howl as they sliced it in two

"CAT CLAW FRENZY!"

Zoro pushed his left foot back, braced himself and.

***BAM***

The cliff side collapsed, chunks of rock falling around the two combatants. Striking the cat man more than Zoro, it's hard for rock to hit you when your already half buried in a stone wall after all.

Buji and Zoro battled for dominance. The sword less swordsman hands gripped firmly on Buji's wrists while he tried against great odds to push his hands forward to stab Zoro's eyes. Zoro was working equally as hard to prevent that, and if either party tried kicking at the other then they knew that the other would have an advantage in footing that they'd immediately exploit.

"Looks like were stuck." Zoro commented. Sweating slightly under the strain of holding Buji back.

The black cat pirate, sweating just as much sneered. "No. You just can't get away. SHAMU! CAPTAIN!"

The man on top of the cliff, and the one whimpering at the bottom sprang into action. Django pulling out two chakrams from his coat and launching them just over his subordinates head at Zoro. While Shamu gritted his teeth to bite back the pain and launched himself too, Aiming under his brother with his good remaining claw to impale the swordsman in the gut.

"Idiots." Zoro muttered, before making his arms go limp.

Buji was expecting Zoro to try and overpower him and jump out of the way. Not to release him. He fell forward before he could catch himself. Collapsing onto Zoro just as Roronoa had moved enough to exchange a facial impaling for cuts along the side of his head.

***SLITCH***

"BUJI!" Shamu cried in horror as his hand tore into his brothers side just as two metal disks lodged in his upper back.

He didn't have time to scream in pain. Zoro with a show of immense strength pushed the not quite dead weight off him and onto his brother who didn't have time to remove his hand from Buji's innards. The pain of the wounds and crushing became too much for the two and they slipped in unconsciousness.

Zoro seeing that his enemy's were down took time to wipe his hands over the gash's along the sides of his head, clearing the blood away so that it wouldn't go in his eyes and wiping his red hands on his white shirt. He walked back up the hill to were he'd thrown Luffy in the hopes that he could wake him. They still had one very big obstacle to overcome after all.

Back on the cliff Django was acting like all of his screw had came loose at once. Pulling his hat down almost hard enough to tear through it.

"This CANNOT be happening!" He panicked. "The men are gone. The Nia-ban brothers near dead! Kuro's plan is going to fail and..."

"You know how I take failure Django." A chilling voice finished his sentence.

A chill ran up his spine and froze his heart over. Turning slowly he saw his worst fear standing at the top of the path. Something that would have had him running for the boat if it was not already gone.

Kuro staring up at him, with a frown.

Now Kuro wasn't one who 'appeared' to get angry often. While Klahadore was seen to be happy, angry or sad in the three years he'd been in the village, Kuro wasn't truly capable of showing any of these. He could be giddy as a school girl or as angry as a demon..

Kuro, who's face rarely changed no matter the emotion, with a frown meant he was as angry as Garp when Luffy said he wanted to be a pirate...not the best analogy but there you go.

"K, k, k, k, k, k..." All he could do was stammer, backing away as far as he could before his old captains voice called out again.

"Don't move." He said plainly, without any edge in his voice while still instilling fear in his old first mates soul. Django froze on the spot.

"Ca-captain...I." Kuro interrupted again.

"Go to town, make Kaya sign the papers. Kill her. And I may let you leave alive."

He was gone before Kuro could say "may".

The former captain turned to face the swordsman standing only a few feet away from him. Pushing up his glasses he spoke.

"I recognized you the moment I saw you Roronoa Zoro. A bounty hunter and swordsman of great skill and potential, I had hoped that me officially being dead would have been enough to think of Klahadore's resemblance to Kuro as pure coincidence but it seems I was mistaken."

Zoro smirked "Nah you fooled us easy enough. Fact is that if you hadn't been blabbing to that wannabe hypnotist of yours were those two idiots could hear you then we'd be none the wiser."

Kuro's lip's tightened a half inch.

He was furious beyond reason now.

"I see." He said calmly, eying the swords between him and Zoro. "You know I can't let you live right?"

"Figured as much."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Save for the gentle winds blowing and the loud rumbling snore emanating from the downed captain. The two men stood completely still, like statues for what seemed like hours. Their eyes darting about in their sockets, looking for even the slightest hint of movement from the other man.

A finger twitched.

They both vanished.

***CHING***

Steel met steel. Zoro's three blades parrying Kuro's saber claws in the spot where wado and his other sword had been just a moment ago.

Kuro's mouth turned upwards a hair. "Your as good as they say." He said. Pulling one of his claws away and raking them at the santoryu users stomach with lightning speed. Zoro managed to jump back in time to avoid being bisected but not without some gashes along his stomach and his favorite shirt being torn open.

"Not so bad yourself." He said clearly past the sword occupying his mouth. He pulled his hand held swords behind his back. If this guy was a cat then he needed to be a much bigger feline "Tiger..."

"...HUNT!"

He struck with blinding speed. Slashing the air with a blow that could cleanly cut concrete. Of course since just air wasn't his intended target he was disappointed with the result.

"Looking for me." Zoro turned around and saw Kuro standing over Luffy behind him. The swordsman was Impressed, he hadn't even seen Kuro move that fast when he was getting his swords.

Kuro pushed up his glasses once more. Using his palms as usual so he doesn't cut himself with is blades. "The tiger was taught everything it knows by the cat, but not everything the cat knows (3)."

Kuro vanished. Zoro looked around carefully. Gritting down even harder on his third sword while putting his others in defensive positions around his back and chest. The only indication that Kuro was anywhere was a faint 'booming' sound. Like the one's Buji made when he landed from his power charges, only much quieter and with no damage to the ground.

'He keeps getting faster, I don't know which direction he's attacking from. So I need to strike out in every direction at once.'

He moved over to Luffy, not taking any chances should Kuro decide he wanted to finish the captain in his next pass.

The wind kicked up.

"DRAGON TWISTER!"

Zoro became a literal whirlwind of slashes as he spun around a full 360 degrees. Creating a small funnel of wind that reached the tops of trees. He was a blur of whirling steel, slashing in every which way that he could for even just the possibility that Kuro was there.

He stopped only moments after using the technique he stopped and looked around. Slightly dizzy from using the technique but no worse for wear that what he already was.

"Nice try."

Zoro looked up in horror to see the butler rapidly descending towards him from up in the air. Right hand thrust out while he dived down. Zoro moved his sword to defend himself and the person at his feet, but only succeeded in defending one of those two things.

Kuro's first hand strike met with wado and his other two katakana, he curled his fingers to lock them in place before lashing out with his other claw. This attack hitting it's mark and leaving horrible bloody gashes down his chest.

"GAAAHHH!" Zoro cried out. Fire erupting across his front as it was sliced open like a holiday bird.

Kuro leap back a distance so not to get any blood on himself. After three years he had a thing about cleanliness. His hairline smile grew another fraction as he swept a few loose hairs back in their proper place.

"I haven't felt this excited in years Roronoa Zoro. Maybe there was 'something' I missed from my days as a pirate."

Zoro fell. Dropping his two nameless katanas and clutching his bleeding chest. Gasping for air as the taste of copper built in his mouth. He stared up at Kuro just as he was sent flying back 6 feet from a blurring kick from the former butler. Sending him from consciousness.

Seeing the immediate threat was over Kuro turned his attention to the one Zoro had been so determined to guard. The boy was clearly exhausted. Even unconscious he was gulping down air. Great patch's of skin were blotchy from what he could likely guess was from bursting blood vessels. A common side effect from Django's strengthening hypnosis, and with the sudden appearance and disappearance of the black 'smoke' he could likely guess that the boy had some sort of devil fruit ability.

"I can't risk someone with a power trying to fight me." Kuro said. Drawing his claws up to point at Luffy. "Die." He said and thrust his hand forward.

Luffy's eyes flung open.

* * *

"Geez. What the hecks going on back there." Ussop said, leaning on Nami as the two of them made their way back to town. Both were injured, Ussop more so since he was bleeding profusely.

"Knowing Luffy he's probably won the fight by now." Said Nami who against Ussop's protest picked up the pace.

"It thats true then why don't we go back?"

Nami shook her head "We'd only get in the way. The only thing that stopped Luffy from using his...powers like this last time was that he didn't want to damage the place around him. Plus we'd be no match for those pirates anyway."

The boy didn't make a comment. That is until he saw a certain someone dash out of what was left of the woods. His eyes bugged out at the sight of Django running out of the woods as though the hounds of hell were after him. A terrified look on his face and his hands each holding a razor disk.

"Nami look!" He pointed. Catching the girls attention.

"That hypnotist creep!"

"Yeah. And I bet he's going to go try to find Kaya." Ussop said. He pulled his arm back from over Nami's neck and chased after him.

"Ussop!" The navigator called after him. Sighing in frustration she chased after him at a much slower pace. For a normally spineless jellyfish he could run like a wildcat.

The world streaked around Django as he ran faster than he ever believed possible. Heading directly for the mansion in Syrup village without even the smallest consideration that someone might see him. They'd think him a pirate who tried to steal from what was obviously the richest family on the island and killed the owner in the process. Failure for him was not an option.

He zoomed through the town. Knocking over anything and anyone who got in his way, he was moving so fast that he didn't even hear the sounds of indignation that those he knocked down made. Reaching the manner within minutes of entering town. He hopped the gates and kicked open the door. Determined to find the girl by any means necessary.

Ussop was not far behind, literally on the heels of the pirate. Heading straight for the mansion to, ignoring the cries of indignation or the angry villagers baying for his blood for some reason. It didn't matter as he was already at the mansion gates. Climbing over them with the grace of a monkey and going over them in seconds before running around the side of the mansion, knowing exactly where to go to find Kaya.

"Where is she!" Django said in anger and fear. Anger because he was kicking down every door he could find to find no one there except for a goat man who looked to be fighting for his life (not like that mattered), and fear because if he didn't do the job Kuro would turn him into a scratching post. Why do mansions have to have so many rooms anyway? Couldn't they just have one giant room to put everything in? It'd certainly make his job a lot easier.

He came to the last door 'OK the captain, I mean Klahadore said that her room was on the first floor and this is the last door. So...' Once more his heel met the door. The spindly legs making the wood explode from the hinges and crash into the middle of the room.

"ALRIGHT! TIME T..."

"SURE KILL LEAD STAR!"

One second the hypnotist was standing there. The next he was laying against the hallway wall with a large bruise forming dead center of his head.

Ussop grinned as he saw the pirate captain slide down the wall. He didn't know were Kaya was but he could only guess that she'd left with the rest of the residents. Which explains why no one came out to 'great' him when he ran through town.

"You need to change that attacks name kid." Django said in an agitated and pained voice. Getting up and rushing the sharpshooter. Catching the boy and slamming him into a wall before he could reload his slingshot. Ussop grunted in pain but didn't let his legs give way. Grabbing his foe by his midsection he heaved him up before collapsing to the ground delivering a pile driver. (4)

"AGH! F**K!" Cried out Django. Getting up quickly and grabbing his head in one hand while holding out a chakram with the other. His anger growing when he felt that his favorite hat had been crushed in that desperate move. Looking around he saw no trace of the girl. The bed was still untucked which meant she either had some servant do that for her, or she'd had to leave before someone could fix it "WHERE'S THE GIRL YOU LITTLE S**T!" He was really getting angry.

Ussop just smirked "I've hidden her somewhere you'll never find her."

Django was about to yell at him when he remembered earlier. "So you don't know either then."

The look that passed over Ussop's face was enough evidence for him. His anger lessened and he smirked "Please. You think I'd fall for your lies twice? I'm not an idiot."

Ussop sat they're with a razor blade poised to lop his head off "Yeah I guess it was kind of foolish to think I could outsmart some one as brilliant as you."

Django nodded "Yes...brilliant?" No one had ever called him that before. The most he'd gotten as a compliment was 'Useful'.

The long nosed boy nodded "Of course! You are the successor of the great 'thousand plan Kuro' right? That would mean you had to be some sort of genius."

Django couldn't help but puff up his chest in pride. It was pleasant to receive praise when he normally got none. "You know kid maybe I misjudged you. Tell you what how about you get out of here and I act like you never ran across me. How does that sound."

"..."

"Kid?" He looked back down from the ceiling to see a slightly bloody wall and floor where Ussop once was, with small droplets leading around him and out into the house.

"...FFFFFFFFFF*******************************KKKKKKK!." He ran out the room and into the hall. Only to find the boy with his slingshot already pulled back.

"So long stupid. SURE KILL IRON CACTUS STAR!" He cried out before releasing the ball.

Django was prepared this time. He released one of his disks at the ball. Hoping it would cut through it and the boys skull like rice paper. The blade contacted the sphere in the space of a fraction of a second and did cut through it, but the second it did it exploded. From the explosion came dozens of tiny razor iron fragments. The explosion and new force going against it knocking the disk of course and hitting a wall while the shards shot forward. Striking everything directly in front of Ussop, Django didn't have time to duck away as more than half the shards hit him. He cried out in pain as he was sliced to ribbons by the metal slithers. His cloths were shredded and every part of his body was riddled. In the span of a few seconds the somewhat feared one two Django was filled with more wholes that swiss cheese.

He collapsed onto his back side after fighting himself to fall to his shrapnel encrusted knees. His skin on fire and he was struggling not to scream, mostly because several shards are stuck in his throat.

Ussop looked at his enemy with some small amount of horror. He never imagined he'd actually had to use such a weapon as his iron cactus star before, but made it in case pirates really did invade someday. The state he was in though. It was horrible.

Django coughed up a glob of globe and lifted his hand and dropped the string around his other chakram. Swinging it back and forth.

Ussop was about to chastise the pirate for thinking he was stupid when he saw Django take off his hat and look directly at the pendent.

"When I saw Django. Just Django. All my wounds will be gone, and I will be superhuman!" He managed to say past the blood.

"NO!" Ussop reached into his ammo bag to pull out another iron cactus star but it was to late.

"Django!"

* * *

"Infuriating upstart." Kuro grumbled. Dodging tendrils of darkness as if they were coming at him with the speed of tottering infants.

Luffy was nowhere near the level he normally could reach. That earlier stunt had put to much strain on his body and had for now severely limited how much he could create and control. A Smokey aura poured from around his back and his upper arms arms preventing Kuro from a sneak attack, but the darkness wasn't moving anywhere near as fast as he wanted it to or spreading as much, which was a big downside when you opponents greatest weapon was speed.

He couldn't pull him in either, the finger blades would slice him before he could lay a hand on the bespectacled man.

"You seem to be at a disadvantage Straw hat." Kuro said reappearing a distance away "I cannot yet get near you and you can't get close to me."

Luffy, who was still trying to lift himself of the ground fighting his strain sneered at Kuro. "I won't stop until I beat you! You phony pirate!" He held up a hand as darkness started to pull around it.

Kuro pushed him glasses up "Call me what you will. I couldn't care less about the ramblings of a starry eyed boy who has yet to experience how loathsome an outlaws life is." He bent over into a bowing position, his arms going limp.

"And unlike you boy. I have not yet to fight at my full potential. Your smoke is quick and is spread around enough to provide a good if imperfect defense. Your injuries limit your power and you need to keep yourself uncovered enough to see me after all."

Luffy growled.

"Normally I don't need to move this quickly. But since your powers make you more troublesome than anyone I've faced I think I will make an exception."

"OUT OF THE BAG!"

* * *

"SURE KILL LEAD STAR!"

"GGRRAAAGGHHH!"

"DEADLY FANG STAR!" (5)

"GGRRAAAGGHHH!"

"SURE FIRE ULTIMATE DESRUCTO STAR OF SUPER DOOM!"

"GGRRAAAGGHHH!"

"GAH! GO DOWN ALREADY!"

Ussop was running for his life from the almost mindless berserker that Django had turned himself into. Running through the house as the hypnotized hypnotist ploughed through walls and carved up the house chasing after the teen while acting like a wild animal on the hunt. Ussop fired back, he'd emptied nearly his entire bag of everything he had, from actual weapons to rubber bands and the ketchup ones he'd made for training with the kids.

'I've only got about two shots left. I have to make them count.'

Not that his last shots didn't count though. Django was running on pure adrenaline and what he could only guess to be about 2 pints of blood that wasn't on the floor.

He rounded a corner sharply just as Django caught up to him. Ploughing through a wall after not remembering to break, this gave Ussop enough time to load his second to last shot. He pulled the elastic back just as the berserker rounded on him.

"DEMON EYE STAR!" He let go of the elastic letting the sphere filled with a special mix of mace, poison ivy and chili powder smash across in Django's already broken frames and go into his eyes.

"GGGGGRRRRAAAAAAGGGHHH!"

The reaction was no different than the others. Since he couldn't feel pain at the moment it was a sure thing that you could rip his arm off and he wouldn't feel it. However it was definitely having an effect. His eyes turned blazing red and his vision was reduced to a blur.

'Good. That should give me time to...'

***WWHHAAMM!***

It didn't. Even mindless and blind Django could still hon in on Ussop's unusually high pitched voice. The older man rushed at the sound and with one devastating blow sent the already injured liar crashing through two walls.

"Uh. T...t...eehh. Uhhhhh." It was nothing short of a miracle that he wasn't unconscious. Wounds that had only stopped bleeding ran red once more, the large black spot in his field of vision wasn't a good sign either, and if he guessed right he could feel a faint 'crackle' that he was sure was coming from him as he moved. He of so slowly rolled off his back and onto his hands. Hoping that this time the blinding did it's purpose and bought him precious moments.

He reached into his ammo bag and pulled out another sphere. His last sphere. Turning his head he could see Django look around madly for him. His head snapping from side to side in desperation to continue his assault.

OK now he just needed his slingshot and, his slingshot and...sling shot.

His slingshot was 15 feet in front of him.

Django was 25 feet in front of him.

'Why is nothing ever easy.' He groaned in his mind before making a dash for it. The sound of the charge attracting Django's attention.

"RRRAAAAGGGHHHHH!" The berserker charged at the moving blurry shape.

* * *

Shoulder.

Cliff.

Rock.

Thigh.

Dirt.

Dirt.

Stomach.

Kuro had no idea what he was slashing at. He just raked his claws out in front of him like a child swings his arms when charging someone he wants to beat up. The world moving around him in nothing more than a blur. At this speed he couldn't make out even the smallest amount of detail. All he could do was make a rough guess as to the space he was supposed to be moving in and hope his attacks hit their mark. He couldn't tell if they did or not because blood was literally sliding off his blades from the sheer speed.

Luffy was having sight problems too. Namely how could he fight something he couldn't see. If he was at full strength instead of the fraction he was at he could easily take this guy down. Just reach out everywhere and stop him in his tracks.

"Mmmmmm."

"YAGH!" Another gash opened along his arm. This time it was pretty deep.

No time to think about pain. The smoke rising off him began to recall back into it's origin point. Instead doing the scientifically impossible and going downwards. Spreading across the ground as thinly and as far as it could go, a whopping 3 feet in diameter.

"Yami yami..."

* * *

Both of them bleeding, battered and bruised ran at each other with the only difference being that one felt as he should in that condition while the other felt fresh as a daisy. Ussop pumped his legs with all the strength he had left. Matching Django's longer stride.

He dove for his slingshot just as Django past it. Escaping a viscous hay maker which would have turned his brains to jelly by centimeters. He fell back to the floor and grabbed it...

"GGGGHHHH OH COME ON!"

….Rolling in some glass and other debris. He quickly loaded his final weapon into his slingshot and aimed right for Django's head.

"ULTIMATE SURE KILL..."

* * *

"...CRUSH!"(6)

The ground under the sludgy smoke suddenly cracked as the pressure of a hundred times normal gravity descended on it. It didn't take long for Kuro to try and make another pass at him and...

"WOAH!" The former pirate stopped in his tracks the instant he stepped in the darkness. His foot suddenly weighing hundreds of pounds and his claws brushing past Luffy, scratching up the arm attached to the fist filling his vision.

'NO! My plan! My peace!'

"If you wanted peace you shouldn't have been a pirate at all!" declared Luffy just as his knuckles made contact with Kuro's front teeth.

***WHA-BAM!***

The great and feared Kuro of the thousand plan, once Klahadore the loyal butler now Kuro again, Was sent flying back with a speed like his greatest attack. His face turned to pulp from one blow from Luffy's mighty fist, and sent rocketing into the sky. Clear away from the island and far past the eye could see. His greatest plan ruined. All because of a starry eyed boy.

"Heh. Told...you a phony couldn't...beat...me."

The last of his energy spent he collapsed to the ground. A large smile on his face.

* * *

"...WHITE NOVA STAR!"

The star fired just as Django turned to face the noise.

***BOOM***

The room flashed brightly for a second as white fire rushed from the tiny ball in a surprisingly powerful explosion. Django was sent back several feet by the force before crashing onto a pile of rubble he had made earlier.

"GRAA...AGGGHH...aaahhhhhh." That had done the trick. That final devastating attack had finally been enough to overwhelm the hypnotized berserker's adrenaline fueled body and sent him into unconsciousness.

Ussop collapsed onto his hands. Panting, sore but grinning from ear to ear.

"USSOP!" The boy turned at the sound of his voice being called out. Seeing Nami through one of the holes Django had made. She came over to him and grabbed him by the waist. Hauling him up onto her back with a grunt.

"Oof. Wow your kinda light for a guy.." She commented.

"I just go at it with a pirate in a fight to the finish and the first thing you can do is insult me?" He moaned. The aches and pains starting to really come through after his own little adrenaline rush started wearing off.

"Ah suck it up you baby. Luffy's probably worse off by now and he won't be complaining."

Ussop just grumbled and let the girl carry him.

"Hey Nami. I had to be fighting him for a good few minutes at least. Who'd you only show up at the last minute?"

"WHAT! You'd expect a cute girl like me to fight?" She said all too sweetly.

"That would have been helpful." He said bluntly. His eyes half open and himself half conscious.

"Humph. Your no fun." She said annoyed. Lugging her passenger out of the damaged mansion.

* * *

Luffy was in heaven. Sitting on a pile of gold as tall as a mountain, the crown of the pirate king perched squarely on his head, and surrounded as far as the eye could see by the most succulent honeys you could imagine.

By which I mean hams.

***SCARF*** ***CHOMP* *GULP***

"MMEEAATT!" He bellowed. At long last he could eat as much as he'd always wanted without having to worry about his stomach exploding!

"ALL HAIL LUFFY!" A thousand voices echoed from nowhere "ALL HAIL THE PIRATE KING!"

Luffy was choked up, he patted his chest a little to fix that. He was so happy he could cry.

"ALL HAIL LUFFY!"

"ALL HAIL LUFFY!"

"HAIL LUFFY!"

"HEY LUFFY!"

"HEY LUFFY!"

The boys already opened eyes opened up again as his dream self was thrust back into the real world (7)

"Mmmmmm." He closed his eyes again and groaned. Trying to go back to reality and out of this painful, painful nightmare.

"Wake up Luffy!" A female voice insisted.

"I'm trying." He mumbled, trying to turn over but his muscles were fighting against him.

"GET. UP!" The girl screeched. Causing Luffy's eyes to snap open and force him to realize that this was indeed reality.

Reality hurt.

Every square inch of his body felt like it was on fire. From the tips of his toes to the ends of his ears. Even his teeth felt like he'd been chewing on a rock. He tried futily to get up until a feminine hand pushed him back down.

"Stay still Luffy. The doc says your muscles are barely holding together." The girl, who you all must realize is Nami said gently again while looking down at her captain.

"Doc?" He asked curiously. Trying to keep his focus of off how much he hurt and noticing for the first time that he was in a rather comfortable bed.

"Yeah. After I dropped of Ussop here we managed to find you idiots and drag you back here." She explained while looking over past Luffy to the bed next to him. Luffy slowly turned his head to see what she was looking at and winced.

Ussop was bandaged from head to toe in gauze a foot thick. Tubes poked out of the wrappings at various areas and were hooked up to medicine and blood packs. He wasn't even touching the bed since all four limbs were being held in traction leaving him dangling over it as he slept.

"That young man is something else." Came an elderly voice from the rooms doorway. A man who looked to be in his early 60's entered, wearing a cliché white coat and stroking his goatee. "Next to you I haven't seen anyone this badly injured since someone insulted his mother in front of his father more than a decade ago." He looked over the teenage mummy with a worrying eye. "I swear you two are lucky to be alive, anyone else would be dead after what you did for our island."

"You know what we did?" Luffy asked somewhat sadly. Ussop had been so determined that his village wouldn't even know about the pirate invasion, he didn't want to see that effort wasted.

"Of course." The doctor said happily. "Between you and your swordsman friend stopping that fire and Ussop besting that burglar on lady Kaya's estate you'll be hero's of this island for years to come!"

"Fire? There wasn't any fire. It was mph!" The captain looked up at his navigator who had clamped her hand over his mouth.

"HA HA HA! The smoke must have really gotten to you. Of course it was a fire, what else could make that much black smoke?" She said in a cute but deliberate way. Punctuating each word and hiding it behind a ditsy guise.

Luffy was all that he appeared was not that stupid and decided to go along with it.

"Well. You know what they say." Luffy laughed nervously.

"As a matter of fact the doctor didn't know what they say. Or who it was that said it, but didn't really have the time to waste in what he was sure to be a long and pointless talk so he turned and and left the patients to their own devices.

"So no one knows what really happened?" Asked Luffy, slowly pushing his hands down and himself up.

The girl shook her head. "Not a clue. The only black cat pirate they found was DDjango and their wasn't so much as a sliver of their ship left. The forest suddenly losing so many trees at once I thought I'd have to explain but they seem to have came up with their own idea of what happened, probably their minds refusing to accept something so strange and trying to rationalize it no matter how flimsy that is."

"Uh huh." Said Luffy. Clearly not paying attention.

She had to grab her wrist to stop herself from walloping the rising boy. Rising?

"Oh no you don't." She said firmly. Placing her hand on his chest and pushing him down, or at least trying to. Even with his muscles holding together by strings he was still able to overpower her. He shakily pulled himself into a seated position and dragged his legs off the bed. Bracing himself he set his feet on the floor.

A sharp pain erupted in his soles and shot up his legs. Like a lifetime of cramping was happening all at once. It spread up his body as the shock of the knotting made him jump from shock, causing his whole tired body to seize up.

"Can't...move." He moaned before falling back onto the bed.

"I warned you." Said Nami as Luffy bit his lip to stop himself from crying out in pain. She sighed and left the room. Leaving the logia user and the liar to enjoy their pain in peace.

* * *

"So when can we leave." Said a gruff if somewhat strained voice.

While nowhere near as injured as the other two Zoro had still taken a beating. His wounds were bandages but could still move around with relative ease. He had a thick wrappings around his head were Kuro kicked him and some around his sides. Which were slightly soaked with blood.

Nami sat across from him in the doctors waiting room, nursing her own negligible injury's. "Well if you don't mind carrying Luffy we should be able to go before the day is gone."

Zoro mumbled in response. More sore about getting injured by some cats than any real concern for his captain. That idiot was to stubborn to let something like this worry him so why should Zoro be any different.

"Excuse me." Came a soft female voice.

To the straw hats surprise the mistress of the now destroyed mansion entered the small medical building, an assortment of human vegetable hybrids behind her. The kids rushed in, latching onto the girls hands they started pulling her towards the door to the next room were Ussop was.

"Hold on there!" The doctor said, barring the boys way. "Where do you think your going?"

"We need to see the captain!" Shouted Ninjin.

"Yeah we heard he beat up that creep!"

"NO SHOUTING IN THE DOCTORS OFFICE YOU LITTLE BRATS!" The man bellowed.

"Please." Said Kaya quietly. "Came we see Ussop?" Her eyes grew slightly larger and more pitiful.

Needless to say the man crumbled like a sandcastle, he sighed and moved aside. "Just make sure the boys are careful around him Madam. He has enough breaks as it is."

Kaya nodded and ushered the boys into the room. Nami being curious herself, especially with what she 'thought' she saw Kaya was wearing a second ago decided to go back in and closing the door behind her, leaving Zoro to fall asleep sitting up.

The Ussop pirates clambered around their captain, each wide eyed and clearly worried for the older boy but trying very hard not to go against the doctors orders. Kaya moved around to see Ussop's bandaged face. White wrapping masking it except for the mask that allowed him to breath. The girls eyes misted over slightly as she ran her hands gently over his cast.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "You had to go through so much just to protect me from Klahadore and those pirates."

Nami opened her mouth to deny it but was cut off by her captain.

"Don't bother Nami. If she knows it's pointless to tell her anything else." He said while trying to regain movement in his fingertips.

"Yes." Said Kaya. "I found out about Klaha..I mean 'Kuro's' deception when I found another of my butler Merry lying in his own blood. It was very lucky that I was able to get him to the doctor while everyone was evacuating town to escape that big fire that sprung up." Kaya glanced over at Luffy and smiled. The captain smiling back.

"What are you going to do now?" Asked Nami. "Your mansion was destroyed in the fight."

The wealthy young woman waved her off "It's only a building of brick and wood, it can be rebuilt."She said quietly. "I can always live in the village until it's repaired."

"You can stay at my house!" Said Piiman energetically.

"No Mine!" Ninjin growled back. Forcing Tamanegi to get between the boys.

Kaya smiled at the boys before looking back up at the pirates. "And what will happen to the islands brave heroes?"

"Were leaving at sun up." Said Luffy firmly...before crashing back down to the bed.

"I'd hate to agree with him especially with these idiots the way they are but the longer we stay on the island the worse it might get for everyone. Harboring pirates, even new ones is a major offense for the marines." Explained Nami.

Kaya wanted to argue with her, but found she couldn't. Her eyes drifted back to the long nosed boy. Her hand gently brushing over his bandaged body and thinking about what he did for her sake. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and cry her thanks while never letting go, but no, he was needed elsewhere.

"If your going tomorrow then I have a request I would like to make of you..."

* * *

The process of transferring two critically injured people out of town was easy.

The process of transferring two critically injured people out of town without the doctors consent was still pretty easy, but Kaya would be getting an earful later once the medical practitioner found out her roll in them leaving.

The process of transferring two critically injured people out of town in broad daylight without anyone in town noticing anything was next to impossible. Especially considering if they were seen then Kaya, the boys 'and' the doctor would have to explain why they let the notorious pirates escape before their reign of terror could begin. Once they make it big that is.

The three boys carried the slightly less critical Luffy, who was still knotted in ways that shouldn't be physically possible and still quite paralyzed. While Ussop was getting a piggy back from the not as injured Zoro. Technically speaking it wasn't so much broad daylight as it was the wee hours of the morning

The group managed to quickly and quietly make their way to where the black cats ship had formally been docked, and many an eye widened in shock at the boat that had replaced it.

The caravel was far from being the biggest boat in the world. More like a private vessel for short distance sailing rather than what the Straw hats had in mind. It looked to be made of a light brown oak, with an even lighter wood making up the ships mast which supported a red and white horizontal stripped sail. A large iron band surrounding it contrasting nicely with the stark white that painted the rail, keel and ship head which was in the shape of a sheep's head.

Nami and Zoro both shared a thought that, was less than gracious to say the least about the boat. Luffy and the boys on the other hand...

"WWOOWW! Yelled Luffy excitedly. The agony of his injuries temporarily pushed to the back of his mind and he dropped off Zoro's back and ran up to the ship. Spreading his arms as wide as possible to hug it. "What a cool looking ship! It's even got a goat type demon head as a figurehead!"

No one had the heart to tell the boy that it was just a sheep's head.

"She isn't the most suitable ship in the world for the grand line." Said a strained male voice. "But the 'Going Merry' is my pride and joy. Please look after her."

Merry looked surprisingly well for a man who'd lost at least 4 pints of blood the day before. If you ignored the thick bandages over his torso, and the pale skin, and the tired eyes...I did say he was well for a man who almost died right?

"Your really ok giving over a ship to a bunch of pirates?" Asked Zoro.

Merry tilted his head to the side in confusion "Pirates. What pirates?"

Everyone but the densest of the group who was out of earshot at the moment, realized what he was doing and kept quiet.

"Good. Now this is a rather different ship than usual so I'll need to tell the captain how to steer it."

The group looked past Merry and saw the captain had started hugging the side of the ship.

"That'd be me." Said Zoro.

"Excellent. Now then you must understand that the going Merry..." While the sheep faced man was busy instructing the swordsman on the finer points of his ship. A certain lady of note was bidding her final farewells to a certain boy of severe bodily harm.

She gazed down at his still form. Watching her Saviour breath raggedly as his badly bruised lungs tried to take in air.

"Ussop." She whispered before sneakily pecking the less bruised side of his face.

"Lady Kaya. A moment please!" Her head butler by default called out.

"Coming." She called back and left the injured hero to the three little boys.

"So...how long you gonna pretend to be asleep captain?" Asked Piiman to the guy he was holding up.

The mummy shifted ever so slightly in their grip.

"It's not like your fooling us. We saw you sitting up in the bed before just before we came in." Added Tamanegi.

The long nosed half dead teen shifted in his bindings a little again.

"Ah leave him alone. He probably doesn't want Ms Kaya to get embarrassed about 'kissing' him." Carrot boy said in a teasing voice.

The body went completely still, though the boys could swear that they felt a chill run down they're arms as it suddenly became a lot colder.

"Okay then. Since your not awake. Then we won't be embarrassed to tell you this. Thanks for everything. It's cause of you that I have the brains to follow my dream and be a carpenter,"

"And the courage to be a bar owner."

"And the notebook full of tall tales I plan to use to make millions off of in book sales."

The other two looked at their onion headed friend.

"What? I can't be a little greedy?"

"...Anyway. It's all thanks to you brave captain Ussop. Your the greatest."

They dropped him with a thud the second they saw tears and snot run from his face to his back.

"Why does everyone in the world have so much dang tears and snot?"

Piiman shrugged "I dunno? Exaggeration?" (8)

They picked up the crying mummy (oh god the bandages were soaked and sticky) and carried him onto the boat. Dropping him in the middle of the deck with a thud before scuttling back to land.

The other three clambered on soon after. Nami taking the captains wheel, the actual captain more content to sit on the 'demon' head than actually steer the boat, and Zoro lay looked out over the side rail.

"Take care." Said Merry who didn't want to seem rude despite knowing no one here.

"Watch out for our no good lying captain now!" Shouted Piiman.

"Don't come back until your stories aren't lies anymore! My books will sell more if I say their based on a true story" Dittoed Tamanegi.

***WHAP***

Kaya simply watched the boat as Zoro unfurled the sail and it slowly began to pull away from the cliff side. "Goodbye everyone." She called out weakly as the straw hat crew waved farewell to Syrup island.

* * *

"I must say Ms Kaya." The sheep man said while watching his pride and joy sail from view "Your an infinity more believable liar than Ussop was."

The lady looked at the man, well sheepishly. "Was it really that obvious?"

Merry chuckled "Being a better liar than Ussop doesn't mean your any good at it Ms Kaya. And Judging from the hue on the bridge of your nose I can tell you really didn't want him to go."

The hue returned full force.

He smirked a little but turned away so she wouldn't see. "You know as I do that setting out to sea is the best for him. Ever since his first lie all he's ever wanted was for them to all be true." At his mistresses response he continued. "His father was a marksmen of unparalleled skill, and could shoot the wings of a fly from a hundred paces without killing it. Naturally this got attention from a famous pirate crew who invited him to sail the grand line. Unfortunately soon after this Ussop's mother feel deathly ill. The day before she passed away Ussop came running through the village like the hounds of hell were after him, screaming 'Pirates are coming' at the top of his lungs. Claiming the crew that his father absconded with had returned with Yassop in tow."

Kaya hung on every word "No one is even very certain that it was a lie the first time. Ussop probably just wanted it to be true so that his mother would get better and he wouldn't be left alone, and has told that lie every single day afterwards hoping that one day his father would come back."

The blond girl wiped away the moisture collecting in her eyes. "Ms Kaya. You met him shortly after your parents past on, sharing his tales with you so you would not suffer like he did. But now the time has come for you to be strong on your own, and pay him back for all he has done."

"Mmmm." She hummed. Staring out after the going Merry, a big smile across her face.

"I think...I'd like to be a doctor."

"That's a good goal."

* * *

Aboard the Going Merry the pirates celebrated their new crew member and ship with a round of drinks. With only two not drinking out of a straw.

* * *

The next day. Three little boys ran through the village. Screaming their heads off that pirates were coming, just as they would do the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day beyond that...

* * *

End Chapter 6

* * *

Omake...

"Where the hell are we?" Said a man who looked vaguely like a cat

"Dunno. Everything just went black, woke up and we were here." Replied another one. Floating over the first one.

"Anyone else feel like Buji times ten sitting on him?" Groaned out one of the men to the two dozen others floating around him. Receiving pained cry's in response.

"Maybe that kid with the devil fruit power did something."

"Ya think!"

One crossed his arms, which was quite difficult to do since they felt like they would break any second, and tried looking thoughtful "If he does you think he could let us out?" He asked another crew mate who was sitting on one of the many trees floating around the void, and munching on a leg of meat that he had somehow cooked.

"Dunno, at least we got food for a while right?" He waved his meat out over the void were a number of small woodland animals were floating.

A group stomach rumble told them all otherwise.

"Hello." One called out into nowhere. "We'd like out now please."

"We'll stop being pirates and go on the straight and narrow."

"We'll give you gold!"

"Hello!"

"Hello!"

They called out in all directions, hoping to alert someone to their problem.

They'd be there awhile.

* * *

I realize that the ending may not be spectacular. However I've been stuck on that part for quite a long time and finally decided to get it out on the site and risk getting flamed. I know it's not the best but at least you don't have to wait months on end.

(1) Count the number of actual belts in One Piece instead of sash's

(2) I received a request asking for our lying friend to use guns instead of slingshots. To me his slingshots are a part of what makes the character so enjoyable. However I did give him deadlier versions of his normally harmless ammo as a compromise.

(3) A martial arts prover. The cat taught the tiger everything it knows, but when the cat told the tiger this the tiger tried to eat it. So the cat ran up a tree, the one thing that it didn't teach the tiger.

(4) I wasn't going to do this. However the picture of Ussop doing this in my mind was awesome so I decided "Hell yeah!"

(5) Basically he shoots a wooden steak from his slingshot

(6) Using his power Luffy increases the gravity in a location dozens or even hundreds of times making everything impossibly heavier. Designed to deal with fast and agile opponents

(7) Ever had a dream were you seem to be awake but then you really wake up? It's like that

(8) That's it exactly. Whenever someone cries in One Piece they always end up leaking from every part of their face like someone turned a faucet up all the way

**Next Chapter**: A hungry crew and a chance meeting with some of Zoro's old friends means a stop off at the worlds only 5 star sea faring resterant, but will a creep with an overinflated ego spoil even Luffy's appetite? Or will the fully recovered king to be show everyone what he can do when he finally gets a chance to go all out?

Chapter 7: The cook


	7. Chapter 7: The pervy chef

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: If I owned this series I'd be Scrooge Mc'ducking a big pile of money right now.

Chapter 7: The pervy chef

_Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all_ – Harriet Van Horne

* * *

Once more in a scene that is increasingly overused at the beginning of a new arc we find the strawhats on the ocean This time sailing towards the grand line in a marvelous new ship that by all right shouldn't be used for more than short island to island trips with a crew not even half as big as what other pirates usually enter with. Nami continued to steer her course while Zoro had went to the upper deck to swing his weight covered practice blade. Usopp and Luffy were being the least useful to the voyage since their duties primarily consisted of drinking and dancing despite only recently being near completely crippled.

Through the miraculous power of anime physics both the idiot captain and the cowardly sniper had managed to heal in a matter of days. For the most part at least. The burst vessels had went past the initial stages and now Luffy resembled a giant walking bruise. Usopp though he had been wrapped head to toe in foot thick gauze was now the least injured with only a thin head wrap and a few bandages were and there.

Right now though he was actually taking care of one of the more important duties of being the ships captain. Designing the flag.

I know, it doesn't exactly scream 'hard work' when Nami is all but left to running the ship herself, but without a flag your not a pirate. End of story, your not allowed to be clever and hide that your a pirate until you can make your move. If you don't have a Jolly Roger then no matter how famous or powerful you are all your gonna be known as is a 'sea bandit'. Like a mountain bandit but on a boat.

Whats that? A mountain bandit on the sea 'is' a pirate! Do you have a Jolly Roger? No. Then your just a bandit.

"FINISHED!" Luffy declared loudly while holding up the black painted cloth. "What do you think?"

'That you badly need lessons' was what they were all thinking. Not all in the same exact words of course but still.

They could see what he had tried to create, they really could. If they squinted and tilted their heads a little they could just make out a grinning skull wearing what was supposed to be Luffy's hat.

"Uh, Luffy?" Said Nami who was trying to think of a nice why to let him down.

"Your flag looks like crap." Zoro said saving Nami the trouble.

Luffy's brow furrowed in confusion, he looked down on it and eyed it with what would pass for him as critically. "Really? What's wrong with it? Do you think it should look angry instead of smiling? Or the hat's brim is too wide?

"Nah. It's fine. Your just crap at drawing." Replied Zoro.

"*Phew* For a second I thought you just didn't like the design"

Nami made a note not to bother trying to spare Luffy's feelings. The idiot seemed to bounce back from anything you threw at him.

"Lucky for you. I the great and powerful Usopp just so happen to be a world famous artist..."

"Riiighhtt." "I don't believe you."

"...So have taken the task of designing our Jolly Roger on myself. Witness the awe inspiring symbol of this mighty crew!" He unfurled another large black cloth.

Wow! They had to admit that it was a really nice flag.

Now this showed real promise. From the flag it was clear that Usopp had a steady hand and genuine artistic talent. As well as a serious case of narcissism.

"Not your symbol idiot!" Nami belted out along with a rap to the back of the liars head.

The end result was a proper, if rather intimidating skull and crossbones hanging from atop the crows nest and stretched over the sail. You could practically see the extra mass in Usopp's head after doing it.

Three of the four pirates collapsed onto the deck, two exhausted because of the work involved and the third generally being a lazy person.

***BAM***

Usopp and Nami jolted up at the sound of something heavy hitting the deck. Then jumping a mile as they came face to face with the business end of a cannon.

"Look what I found in the captains quarters!"

***GANK***

"Luffy. Next time you want us to look at the ships cannon DON'T POINT IT AT US!"

Luffy rubbed his head and looked at his seething ship mates. "Aw don't be like that. This things not even loaded see."

*KA-BOOM*

The smell of gunpowder, deafening noise and falling onto the floor when the cannon wheeled backwards from the blast told him otherwise.

The cannonball skimmed above the ocean Hitting a small spit of land and blowing it to pieces.

"Ow. My head." He once again was rubbing the back of his skull gently. Just as the shadows of his two compatriots towered above him, Nami holding her staff and Usopp rolling three pellets between his fingers.

"Uhhhhhh opps?"

The walking bruise looked like a crawling smear for the next while.

* * *

"Seriously. Give me one reason why I can't be captain."

Nami had several good reasons why she would not name the newest member of the crew as captain. Though taking up the mantle herself was becoming increasingly more appealing. All Luffy could do was fight. Sure he had that whole 'deep insight' thing going for him but it only showed in brief flashes after long periods of idiocy, forgetfulness and a tendency not to think things through.

For example his decisions in rounding up crew members were much to be desired.

"NO!" The three chorused.

"Why! Shouldn't we have some sort of entertainment?"

"We. Need. A. Cook. What part of that is so hard to understand?" Grumbled Zoro while seated in the corner, feeling to cool to sit at the table like a normal person.

"Yeah. Someone who can tell at a glance what we can and can't eat out on the ocean and how to prepare it safely. A cook is almost if not just as important as a navigator on long voyages."

Luffy tilted his head to one side and pouted. "So? It's not like none of us can fish. And we can easily buy anything we want at an island. Why can't we get a musician next."

It was like talking to a wall. The boy had never came across a food you simply couldn't take a bite out of from the stalk or grill and swallow in one bite. He wasn't wary of animals you'd normally call edible suddenly being able to secrete poison or suddenly growing razor sharp spines because it's a sub species in another part of the world. Something a cook, especially one working on a ship for a long voyage must be able to tell instantly. Nor did he know how to turn the preserves you took on voyages because of their long lasting properties into actual food. Such things were a chefs job. (1)

"COME OUT AND FACE ME!" A deep masculine voice yelled from outside on the deck.

Luffy was on his feet in an instant. Rushing out the door to see a guy with a Kantian taking up his left cheek waving a thick saber about and wrecking whatever he could see.

"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are tearing up my ship?" Luffy asked angrily.

The man sneered. His glare visible even past his kick ass sunglasses. "It doesn't matter who I am. Theirs no point in telling someone who I'm gonna kill!" He charged at Luffy with his blade held over his head to cleave the boy in half.

Even a sword novice like Luffy could see the attack coming from a mile away. It was all to easy for him to simply side step the sword as it swung down then bring his fist up casually to deliver a tremendous gut punch to his attacker. Making the swordsman cough out a small amount of blood before falling limp on Luffy's outstretched arm.

"I didn't ask who you are. Cause I really don't care. But I won't stand guys like you just jumping onto Merry and trying to wreck it!" He tossed the attacker towards the cabin wall, making a loud thud when he hit the timber followed by sliding down and sitting in a manner similar to the crews own swordsman.

Johnny?" Zoro exclaimed at the site as he stepped out of the cabin.

The downed man. Despite seconds before being tossed around like a rag doll was back on his feet in an instant at the sound of the familiar voice. Surprise and relief on his face. "ZORO, MY BROTHER!"

"EHH! ZORO HAS A BROTHER!" The captain of the ship was quite surprised. In the same way Usopp was quite a liar or Nami was quite a thief.

"Relax Luffy. It's just a thing that swordsman have with each other." Zoro explained before turning back to his old friend. He looked around a little first then asked something that was nagging at him "Hey wheres Yosaku? Usually you guys are harder to separate than white from rice."

Johnny started tearing up. Which naturally meant that every hole on his face was starting to run like a freaking river. "Brother it's horrible. J-Johnny is...is..."

"Is what?"

"...dying!"

* * *

A new man was sprawled out across the deck like he'd dropped dead there. He wore a long coat, ugly checkered shorts and a black t-shirt that was quite clearly covered in fresh blood stains, as was the symbol less forehead protector that he wore on his shaved bald head.

"This came upon him all at once." Said Johnny. "On minute he was fine then ***BAM*** he collapses. His teeth start falling out like they were held in with old gum, his wounds reopened and he can barely move. He was too sick too be moved so I shored on that little spit of land over there. That is until you decided to shoot a CANNON AT US!"

The mighty logia user suddenly felt an inch tall until the combined gaze. Fighting a powerful urge to hide in his own darkness he bowed as far as his spine could go "Sorry."

"You're completely forgiven." Johnny said straightly.

"Well that was easy." Nami commented dryly. What was the point in being mad is you forgave that quickly?

"Whats the point in getting angry? My brothers going to die anyway." He brought his arm up to his eyes and rubbed them.

"My brother and I have been traveling the east Blue for years. Picking off the small time bounty's and ending a few reigns of terror before they even really start. Sure were not one of the greats but we've managed to make a name for ourselves." He snorted and bit back his tears. "But that's all over now. My brother, and all we accomplished together are gonna die right here."

"YOU IDIOT!"

The men turned to see Nami march up to Yosakus downed form. Poking and prodding him and lifting his lips to check his mouth like a horse.

"Nami!" Zoro exclaimed.

"Show some respect for the almost dead!" Added Usopp.

"Luffy!" She snapped at her captain. "Go into the galley with Usopp and juice about a dozen limes them bring it back here."

The two just looked at her in confusion.

"GO!"

The second time got the required response. The two raced back up the stairs and into the ships kitchen. Returning about a minute later with a tankard of Lime juice which Nami instructed to make the sick man drink.

"Looks like your lucky that we shot at you. Otherwise you never would have came aboard and your friend would have succumbed to scurvy." Smirked the navigator. Trying not to laugh at the fact that if her captain hadn't almost killed them one of them would be dead for sure.

"Scurvy? That sounds familiar." Johnny said rubbing his chin trying to remember where he'd heard that before.

Nami nodded "It should. Scurvy used to be about as common as sunburn for sailors. You get it if you don't get enough fruits and vegetables in your diet, which used to cause problems since they didn't have proper techniques to preserve them for longer voyages. Nowadays only people going on short trips or the brain dead travel without any fruit or veg."

"Uuuuhhhh...would you believe we were doing the first one?"

"No I would not."

"Nuts."

Luffy was impressed "Wow! So your a doctor as well. That means I can get my musician all the sooner!"

Nami looked at him like he was stupid, and since that was the only way she ever looked at him she also voiced why she was doing so. "This isn't doctoring. Practically anyone who ever goes sailing has to know this. Weren't you ever taught that!"

"Mmm I think grandpa may have mentioned something when he sent that wolf pack after me. Or was it when he buried me alive in a fire ant nest?"

The crew sweat dropped while Luffy casually pondered near death experiences. Suddenly their was a rustle beneath them. They didn't have time to react before the dying man at their feet jumped up and embraced his friend in a manly hug.

"I'M COMPLETLY HEALED!" Cheered Yosaku, waving his arm about merrily while giving everyone a big goofy and completely intact smile. Causing the Straw hats to wonder if he had eaten some sort of healing devil fruit...before collapsing back to the floor unconscious with blood pouring out of his mouth.

Nami turned to her ship mates. "What did we learn today."

"Always prepare for long voyages?" Said Usopp.

"Don't think that you'll be healed immediately after being cured?" Guessed Zoro.

"That I'm so awesome that no matter what I do wrong something good comes out of it." Said Luffy.

Since Nami was certain that was as good as she would get from the logia user she just sighed and said "Good enough."

* * *

Eventually the talk came back to cooking. With Luffy's stubborn refusal to admit that one was more important than anything else at the moment, and his crew deciding just to go get a cook anyway hoping that he'd be to busy stuffing his face to care.

"Can't be just anyone either." Said Zoro while lazing against the mast "If he's coming aboard this ship then they can't just cook. They have to be able to at least defend them self."

Johnny, who was busy tending to the still ill Yosaku perked up at the description. "Brother. I know of such a chef."

Zoro and the rest turned to him. "You do?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. But getting him to join might be a real pain."

Luffy just grinned in response "So he'll fit right in then. Just tell us where to go."

* * *

"Ya know when he said "Inside a big fish" I thought he was kidding." Said Usopp staring at the apparent location of their sea faring cook.

It wasn't 'exactly' a fish. It was a fairly large ship with a big fish head for the figurehead and a large fish tail for the rudder. It had two masts which had their masts furled up and from what the crew could see several anchors since the boat barely rocked against the waves. They could tell that the ship obviously wasn't built for speed since it was almost completely round and about as dyNamic as a brick.

"I ain't kidding." Johnny huffed. "This is Baratie. The..."

"BARATIE! As in the famous ocean going five star restaurant? I here that this place has the best and most exotic food outside of the grand line, and you don't even need to book a table since not everyone can get to it!" Exclaimed the giddy Nami who after so long of eating only the basics was ready for some civilized cuisine.

Suddenly a deafening roar came out of nowhere. Rocking the ships timb...ah the hell with it the punchline is that it's Luffy's stomach.

"MMEEAATT!" The yami boy moaned loudly. Visions of foods the likes of which he'd never tasted filling his vision. Dark wisps began to roll of his as he prepared to port himself over to the ship in a hurry.

Zoro sighed and grasped the back of his captains shirt "We better hurry inside before he freaks out everyone in the restaurant"

"Yeah right brother. I remember your face when I told you 'he' often comes here." Yosaku snidely remarked, coughing a little as he still wasn't a hundred percent.

Zoro grinned in a manner usually reserved for men who twirl their facial fair between their fingers. Sending a chill up everyone but the hungry captains spine.

Of course that did nothing to match the absolute terror they felt when a massive thunderclap echoed through the air and the ocean just next to Merry exploded causing the small ship to rock harshly

Nami and Usopp landed on their behinds while Zoro unintentionally let go of Luffy in surprise.

"Pirate scum! Surrender or die!" A male voice shouted out past the water spout the explosion made.

The crew didn't know whether to be scared or relieved. It was a marine vessel alright. The butt ugly zebra stripe pattern it had and the word 'MARINES' in big bold letters painted across the sail left no one wondering that. However the very fact that they had fired a warning shot instead of blowing them up first showed that the captain of it at least wasn't of the 'I'd send a kid to Impel down for even playing pirate' kind of marine like a certain hot headed admiral.

"Mmmm wait. I don't recognize your jolly roger." The voice said again. Coming from the impeccably dressed man aboard.

He was a fairly tall man, not all that surprising since short marines don't garner much in the way of intimidation, and reasonably well built showing he could probably hold his own in a fight if he wasn't afraid of getting his purple and black pinstripe suit ruined. His non girly pink hair was combed back and part at either side of his rather average and forgettable face. The sort of face where if you were asked for a description you'd answer with 'sorta' and 'kinda. Except for the scar he had on his right cheek with stitches still fresh in it.

On his fists however were a pair of unusual knuckle dusters. Instead of the smooth design that flowed with every bump of a fingers joint four screw heads were over each of them, making the new pirates wince at the implications.

"Well well well. If you don't just look like a bunch of kids playing pretend of your daddy's boat." The man taunted "I'm lieutenant 'Iron fist' Fullbody of the marines. And who might you brats be? Are you really pirates or just pretending?"

Luffy temporarily forgot about his hunger. Seeing this as a chance to start making a name for himself. A crossed his arms and yelled proudly. "Were the Straw hat pirates! We just made our roger yesterday but were the real deal!"

"Oh?" Fullbody said scanning the crew. Lingering on Zoro briefly before stopping on Johnny and Yosaku. "You two are those low rank bounty hunters. Jamie and Kosaku or something right?"

'Jamie' narrowed his eyes behind his glasses "That's Johnny and Yosaku!"

"Oh like it's important." Fullbody smirked "From the look of it you two were kidnapped by these no name rookies. That's kinda sad, Because I don't think even the weakest of crews would waste their time recruiting a couple of idiots who've never claimed a bounty past a few million."

"Eeehhh?" Johnny said with his hand to his ear. "Brother I think this two bit marine just insulted us." He said in a mocking tone.

Yosaku took a drag on his cigarette and nodded. Bringing his hand up to take the cigarette and discretely cough up some blood. "Yeah. We can't let some colour blind idiot tarnish are good name..."

Without a second thought they drew their swords and charged at Fullbody. Jumping over Merry's side and directly at the marine boat.

"...GET READY YOU MARINE PEACOCK!" (2)

The fight was over in seconds and quite surprising to the pirates considering that the marines they had seen so far had not been all that strong...of course that was from comparison to themselves but you get the idea.

Without flinching Fullbody brought his metal knuckled right fist to block against Johnny's swords. Smashing through the blade like plaster and ramming his fist right between the bounty hunters eyes. His unguarded fist corkscrewed, both deflecting Yosakus sword away from him and catching him in the solar plexus.

The two were dropped like weights, the marine then picked up the two and with minimal effort flung them back onto Luff'ys ship face first.

"A marines rank reflects his power like a bounty reflects a pirates. You two couldn't make it past ensign or break a million beri like you are. Know your limits." He sneered.

"Fuullbooddddyyy." A female moan came from inside the marine ship cabin just before a door opened and a pair of thin, hairless arms reached out to grasp his. "Come on, quit picking on those kids. You know the Baratie doesn't hold tables if were late.

He looked into the cabin and smiled "Fine." He turned back to the straw-hats. "Today's my day off, and this ship isn't made for capturing scum like you so I'll leave for now. But if I see you again out there you'll be mine."

With that the ship began to sail away. Luffy, Zoro and Usopp stared after the ship while Nami knelt down beside Yosaku to check the damage. Se found several papers had fell out of the amateur swordsman's jacket. They had a picture, a number and the word 'wanted' on them.

"Bounty posters." Nami whispered.

"Yeah sister Nami" The bald man moaned "We carry posters of every bounty in the blue on us at any given time so we know who we can take in. We've only caught some small fry's at the moment but soon well have the 'big fish'."

Nami stayed deadly quiet. Biting her lips while looking at a bounty that had caught her eye.

Back on the ship Fullbody, leaving the cabin he was in and covered in lipstick marks turned to an ensign keeping an eyes of the pirate ship they were leaving.

"Lets nip this in the bud okay."

"Aye sir." The marine said and lit the cannon, sending the round shell at them with a loud 'BOOM'!

Fullbody watched almost in slow motion as the ball went rocketing at the crew. Glad he stopped something that hadn't even started. He was so gonna enjoy this...or at least that's what he thought until black fire erupted on the ship that he was sure the cannonball didn't cause.

* * *

Less than a minute ago

* * *

Usopp had his share of positive traits. Granted they were vastly overshadowed by his negative ones but he still had them. Among these traits was his incredible eyesight, which allowed him to be a hell of a sniper. It was these eyes that were trained on Fullbody's boat that allowed him to see the seaman ready the cannon at a distance that others would barely catch.

"LUFFY! THEYRE GONNA FIRE ON US!" He then followed his first instinct to jump so he would be carried by the explosion to safety. Of course the canon hadn't even been fired yet so instead he just crashed face first beside Johnny.

"BOOM!"

Just as the cannonball was fired Luffy jumped onto the bulwark. Black fire erupting from an outstretched arm and swallowing the explosive orb whole. Shocking everyone in the vicinity.

The bounty hunters and Usopp's jaws were hanging at their knees, Nami turned away and Zoro was more annoyed than anything that he hadn't had the chance to see if he could split it in two before it exploded.

Fullbody on the other hand was more confused. He wasn't close enough to see that Luffy was the source of the oddly black flame and wondered as to what the heck was inside that shell.

Luffy grinned as his power swirled to form a black whirlpool in his outstretched hand.

"HERES YOUR CANNONBALL BACK! YAMI YAMI RELEASE!" He yelled just as the whirlpool bulged slightly and shot something out at the marines at full speed...only not a cannonball.

It collided with the marine that had shot the cannon and sent his crashing into the captains cabin hard enough to make the wood crack.

Wide eyed and trembling Fullbody turned to his subordinate and saw not a cannonball as he instinctively feared, but a tangle of two men one in white and the other in a striped shirt with what looked like cat ears on his head.

"...Isn't that one of the black cat pirates?" He wondered allowed just before he fully comprehended what just happened and proceeded to restrain the captive.

Back on Merry Usopp had lifted his jaw back up and was staring after the marine vessel. A large bead of sweat forming behind him.

"Uh Luffy. I think you just fired one of the black cat crew at them."

"So THATS where they went!" He palmed his fist. "But then, what happened to the cannonball?

* * *

"Hey where did Jenson go?"

"Uh Felix, isn't that a..."

***KA-BBOOMM!***

* * *

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! FIRE ANOTHER CANNONBALL NOW!" Screamed Fullbody at another marine.

"But...sir..." The marine stammered. Putting two and two together faster than his commanding officer.

"THEY RETURNED FIRE! WHETHER WITH CANNONBALLS OR CAPTURED ENEMY PIRATES IT STILL QUALIFYS AS RETURNING FIRE!"

"Sir it's just..."

"FINE!" The angry, confused and scared lieutenant Fullbody loaded up a cannonball himself and quickly ignited it. Sending another ball hurtling towards the crew.

"Again? Man this guy doesn't quit." Another vortex of darkness opened up in Luffy's hand pulling the explosive in "This time I'm gonna make sure I hit you. I just gotta clean everything out at once! RELEASE!"

The vortex grew to several times it's original size and bulged tremendously. Letting out whatever Luffy had stored in his dark space with a force greater than cannon fire.

Pirates, animals and plants fired from the darkness like smoking bullets. Colliding with the water hard enough for the men to fell like they jumped off a building to met concrete. Others were rocketed up so high into the sky or past the horizon that they looked to be flying. Several large trees even hit Fullbody's ship, tearing through the planks like they were centuries old and one even going over the knuckle wearer by a hairs width and ramming into the ships mast hard enough to snap it in two and making the broken part fall into the ocean

The cannonball was also released and went up in a spectacular fireball as it hit it's mark.

Luffy was aiming for Baratie right?

"YOU MISSED BY A MILE YOU DIP&%^$!"

Guess not.

* * *

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

***Clunk***

The man paced the newly air conditioned room back and forth. Pausing at every full lap he did to glare out at the beautiful sea view then at the one who caused it before resuming his march.

After about ten minutes of putting Luffy on the spot the man sat down on the bed in the half destroyed master bedroom. His peg leg making one last ***Clunk*** as he did so.

"Boy." He said in a voice like he'd rubbed his throat lining with sandpaper. "You mind telling me who your working for?"

"Huh?" Was Luffy's intelligent reply. Rubbing his eyes.

"Who are you working for! You know. Who paid you to kill me so they could get my customers!"

"N-no wuh-one." He hiccuped "LOOK I'M SORRY FOR BLOWING OF YOUR FOOT I..."

The aging chef held up his hand "Relax it was already like that." He could see the relief in Luffy's eyes at that. "But that doesn't change that you still blew up a part of my restaurant You owe me, and Zeff always gets what he's owed!"

Zeff was the owner and head chef of the Baratie. If his youth he had a tall and imposing figure, but years had worn away at the tall side a little leaving him with only the imposing part. The most prominent feature about him besides his absurdly tall chefs hat, his peg leg or the piercing 'do as I say or I'll peel you like a banana' eyes was his long and heavily braided mustache, shooting out at a 135 degree angle and as strait as a metal bar it was braided to look like a strong rope. The mustache did nothing to hid the large toothy mirthless grin Zeff was giving the boy right now.

"But I don't have any money. I just started pirating the other day."

"No money eh. Not a problem. You can work for me until you make enough to cover the cost of having this hole fixed."

"Really? Thanks!"

Zeff's grin became mirthful. "Great. We need a new waiter and chore boy so you get the job. With what I give you'll have enough in about a year."

"Alright a week workA YEAR! NO WAY!"

***WHAM***

"Listen here you destructive brat! Your in no position to tell me the conditions of how you pay me back!" Zeff growled while standing over Luffy. His peg leg digging into Luffy's chest like a blunt spear.

"No...way." The boy resisted the urge to snap the wooden leg like a twig.

Zeff glared at the boy for a second before sighing. He lifted his leg off him and sat back down. Much to Luffy's relief. "Alright then. If you won't stay then I'll offer an instant alternative."

"name it." Luffy said while rubbing his chest.

He should have been less quick to take the quick route he realised when Zeff pulled out a rusty saw from roger knows where and stared at the boys legs.

"N..."

"SKEWER STRIKE!" (3)

***BOOM***

* * *

Meanwhile

* * *

"Ah now this is more like it." Said Fullbody. Sitting in the comfortable chair. Sitting across from a beautiful woman and would soon be eating the most delicious food in all the seas. It was made all the sweeter by the admiring hushed whispers he of the other patrons. This was how it should be.

The waiter was at their table in just a few scant minutes. Pouring their wine while balancing their food in his other hand and on his head.

Fullbody picked up his glass and sniffed it, catching the eye of his date. He took a delicate sip of the wine and swirled it in his mouth gently before swallowing. "Ah a delicate bouquet from north Mikkyuo. I'd know that rare taste anywhere. A wine that is dry, full bodied and slightly acidic such as this could only be Iturutsubulgastien. Right waiter?"

He lapped up the sounds of amazement at his wine tasting skills. That is until the waiter decided to be a jackass.

"Completely wrong sir."

Fullbody almost coughed up the 'Ituru something something' at that.

"North Mikkyuo doesn't make red wine. And I don't know what you think 'full bodied' or 'dry' meant either but this wine certainly isn't either." The chef smiled without dropping his cigarette "And I'm the assistant chef Sanji, not a waiter."

Sanji was certainly dressed like a waiter. He was tall, thin and dressed in a black double breasted jacket suit. A blue striped shirt and black tie. He had bright blond hair combed so that it covered his left eye, probably so he doesn't completely hypnotize customers with both of his spiral shaped eyebrows.

He put down the soup he was balancing in front of the giggling woman and livid Marine.

The admiration had turned into mocking laughter. He'd been made a laughing stock by this idiot. He'd paid extra to have that bit set up so he could impress his date. How DARE this punk do that to him.

He took something from his pocket and discreetly dropped it in his food. A gag toy he'd confiscated from one of his men when he thought to play a trick on his commanding officer.

"HEY! Whats the big idea!" He crowed just as Sanji had turned to leave.

"There a problem sir?"

The lieutenant snorted "Your damn right there is. You mind telling me what a fly is doing in my soup?"

Sanji looked don at the offending bowl. Seeing a small mayfly floating in the creamy broth.

"Mmm Looks like the backstroke to me."

The tittering and whispers turned into full blown guffaws as the marine was completely made to look the full.

"Now if you'll excuse me I..."

***CRASH***

The offending bowl, along with the hard wood table it was sitting on were broken into pieces when a metal covered fist came crashing down on it. Sending crystal and cutlery everywhere. People stopped their dining and mocking suddenly while chefs ran into the restaurant from the kitchen to see what the commotion was about.

"Who the HELL do you think your dealing with!" Fullbody snarled. Standing up and glaring at the assistant chef/ waiter "I'm 'Iron fist' Fullbody of the marines! Not some run of the mill nobody you think you can mess with!"

The charming humor drained from Sanji's face. He knelled down at the broken table and looked at the two broken and empty bowls, their former contents spilled and inedible.

"If you'd just taken out that rubber fly you put in you could have eaten the soup." Sanji said flatly. Making the whispering at the drama go up that much more.

"I'm a customer you crap waiter!" Fullbody retorted "That mean I paid you to treat me like royalty! Not a court jester!"

The chefs watching all paled considerably "Sanji don't."

Sanji stood up to his full height. About an inch or so taller than the marine and glared him down with his single visible eye.

"That right? And I suppose you think money gives you the right to act like a di..."

"MESSER RIGHT!"

The screws on Fullbody's knuckles began to move. Rapidly picking up in speed until a drill like sound filled the air, the fist blurred at the chefs his with the intent of punching through the back.

What followed for the next handful of seconds was a better more vicious and merciless than anyone in the Baratie could say they had ever seen. No one could tear their eyes away from the seen even though some had went deathly white and others suddenly found themselves holding their food down.

The end result was a pink haired and purple suited man now sporting a red face being held by his jaw up in the air by an angry waiter/ chef who looked like he was ready for rounds two to three hundred.

"The first and only rule of he Baratie." He said with no small edge. "Don't. Waste. Food."

If Fullbody could he'd gulp out of fear. This really wasn't his day. He continued to think that when he found himself flying through the air to land on the floor, whacking the back of his head onto the back of a table.

"SANJI WHAT THE HELL DA YA THINK YER DOIN!" A stereotypical sailor voice shouted.

Patty cooker was...the patty cooker of the boat. In charge of grilling, braizing, frying and baking burger patties as well as steaks and chops. He was the sort of man who you'd expect to eat large quantity's of that variety of food as well. A large muscular build in an ill fitting cooks cloths with bulging forearms disproportionate to the rest of his arms like a certain other nautically known cartoon. His head was shaved right into the wood and a stylish beard surrounding his heavy lipped mouth.

Patty the sailor man grabbed Sanji by the wrist, being careful not to touch the hands and glared at him. "You idiot! 'The' number one rule o this establishment is that the customer is king! They're the lifeblood a the business! So why pray tell is his lifeblood leaking out of him!"

Sanji pulled his arm out of the cooks grip and shrugged "He wasted food."

The larger cook gripped the side of his head "AGH what the blast is it with you and food. Your gonna get us closed one day you idiot!"

"*Huff* Yeah. Like today." Fullbody moaned and got up "I'm gonna make sure that this madhouse is shut down! And this lousy waiter is put away for a long time!"

"Not if I send you away first." The cook said calmly. Earning a horrified look from Fullbody and a gasp from everyone else.

The other chefs rushed the blond. Grabbing at him every which way to stop their comrade from making a bigger mistake than he'd already made.

***BOOM***

All eyes were drawn from the commotion as a new ruckus overtook their hearing. The ceiling caved in and whatever was in the room above came crashing through. From the horribly pained sounds and sailor class cussing the Baratie staff could guess who it was even before the dust settled.

"Get OFF!" A young voice growled before a man in an absurdly tall hat came flying out of the mess to land on his foot and peg several feet away. A straw hatted boy pulled himself out of the mess and stood up clutching his chest in clear pain, a small but very noticeable bruise about the size of a coin in the dead center of his chest.

Zeff snorted and brushed himself off. "Whats the matter boy? I've hit my eggplant head protege with harder kicks than that."

Luffy just glared. He didn't get mad at much but getting jabbed dead center of the chest by what is basically a blunt spear could make anyone a little upset.

"Chef Zeff a little help." Said one of the cooks restraining Sanji.

Zeff's reaction was immediate and no less hostile as his last. His peg lashed out at the teen, catching him where the neck meets the shoulder and sending him to the floor.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE US GO UNDER YOU EGGPLANT!"

"Well at least you know how to discipline the help. Not that that's going to make me reconsider shutting you down" Chuckled Fullbody while pulling himself up. Only to be send back to the floor by the irate Zeff.

"Are you insane! Do you know who I am?" Groaned the marine trying once more to pick himself up.

The head chef snorted "Yeah. Your the lousy asshole that thinks he can shut me down. Feel free to try, I'll leave a place as the dishwasher boy open for you when you get laughed out of the marines."

Fullbody stared at the elder man with wide eyes. This was the place that had everyone singing praises? Were these guys even really cooks?

Just as he was thinking about implausibility of the situation the entrance flung open and a marine ensign ran in

"Lieutenant Fullbody! He's escaped!" The ensign declared "That Krieg pirate we caught a few days ago busted out of the holding cell and beat the whole crew half to deACK!"

The marines chest exploded in a shower of blood when a bullet passed through. Causing the man to fall to his knees and two the floor, gasping for life.

"You mean 'almost' the whole crew half to death, you I'm willing to take care of the other half." The holder of the gun stated calmly while walking into the restaurant

The patrons and Marine present peddled backwards at the sight of him. Even though he was covered in blood and filth, visibly emaciated and panting for every breath the man still gave of an aura of intimidation one that said he could kill anyone here.

He plopped down at a recently seated and even more recently vacated table and plopped his legs up on it. Waving his weapon at the gaggle of chefs. "Hey a little service over here."

Luffy grinned from ear to ear. This guy was just like Zoro when they first met. Zeff was already adding the damages this guy would make to his repairs. Patty on the other hand.

"What'll ye be having squid face?" The burly armed man said while looming over the pirate while giving a grin that made him look like he ate small children.

The other restaurant goers backed up considerably at that statement.

The half dead pirate just grinned. Showing his teeth hadn't been bruised in what looks like weeks. "I could care less what it is. Just make sure I get a lot of it and here in the next 30 seconds."

Patty's smile only widened. "A lot of it eh? Well I'm sure we could arrange something for such a distinguished scumbag such as yourself. All we ask is that ye can pay the bill sucker."

The starving man grinned "Of course." He pressed the gun right against the large mans forehead. "You take lead?"

Patty's expression changed slowly. The grin slipping from his face like it had been stuck they're with old gum and becoming calm and stoic, looking up at the barrel with indifference. "It is my understanding that sir has no intention of paying?"

"Congrats. Your not a total idiot." The guns hammer clicked. "Now feed me."

Patty looked at him for a second before answering. "Alright..."

***WHA-DOOM***

Faster than very few could follow Patty had brought his fist down on the pirates head. Crushing the chair he was sitting on with him.

"...will you take a knuckle sandwich?" 'can't believe I said that.'

The cooks, customers and present marines just entering the room alike were cheering on as Patty lay the smack down on the already near dead man, except for Fullbody who was taking this opportunity to leave this madhouse as soon as possible.

"The...Baratie...is...for...paying...customers...ONLY!" He punctuated each word with a firm kick to the Krieg crewman's mid section. When he was sure that the nonpaying lout was thoroughly beaten he picked him up by the back of his pants and tossed him out the door and onto deck. "Go starve somewhere else." He said before slamming the door behind him to the cheering of everyone in the restaurant

"Dear paying customers." He said politely while curtsying "The Baratie would like ta apologies fer the unplanned floor show, please return ta yer meals."

He was met with more cheering from the grateful guests. Much to his egos pleasure.

The only ones not impressed were Luffy, Zeff who grumbled at the loss of another chair and Sanji who simply turned about to head into the kitchen. Luffy watched as he did so and wondered where exactly he was going.

* * *

Gin 'the wolf' lay on the deck struggling to get up. His injury's piled on top of his severe starvation making it all but impossible for him to move let alone stand.

'Whats the point?' He thought while still trying to get up 'I'm hungry, tired and I'm pretty sure that guy broke something. Why bother.'

His struggling attempts to get up slowly became weaker and weaker until he finally stopped moving at all. Labored breath the only sign he was alive.

That's when 'it' happened'. It washed over him and filled his every sense. Faint sizzling like angel voices, a smell like the shampoo of a lover as you embrace her, and a sight that would make any pirate spit on one piece.

"Eat." A voice like god himself echoed from nowhere.

He needed no more encouragement.

He dived at the plate. Automatically grabbing a spoon he somehow knew was they're and started shoveling the risotto into his maw at a pace your mother would clap you one for.

"Soooo good." He groaned "Better than a bilge rat like me deserves." How he managed to get that out without taking seconds to breath between bites is something Sanji would never know

"You like it? It's squid risotto. Not the most popular thing on the menu but we always have some made just in case."

"T-thank you." Gin cried. "You have no idea what this means."

A deck above the two the watching pirate captain grinned "I do." He laughed loudly drawing the attention of the two men below "It means I found my cook!"

"Your...cook?" Sanji repeated.

Luffy nodded and jumped down to met them "Yeah! I need a cook on my pirate crew and after seeing this I decided that your it!" He said pointing at Sanji.

"A pirate...wait so your the guy that shot at the ship!" Sanji snapped.

Luffy at least had the decency to looked embarrassed. "Didn't mean to. I was just firing back after that marine shoot at me and I couldn't control the direction of my shot."

Sanji lit a cigarette and popped it in his mouth "You have to practice with all weapons. Even cannons."

"Yeah hee hee Cannons."

"Well listen good. Just don't think that cause your a pirate that you can act like you own the place. Zeff used to be a heck of a pirate himself before he lost his foot."

"I can believe it." Muttered the boy rubbing the bruise on his chest still.

"Not surprising. Most think that first time they met him. Although they think he couldn't have been much since he opened this place. But trust me the guys who work here are worse than any pirate crew. Have to be if they wanna survive guys like you two" The cook said looking at both men.

"Unfortunately we go through waiters and cleaners like a marine does through ass polish. The last guys only latest about a week before they jumped ship with a passenger ship. Zeff got tired of looking and told me I was in charge of customers now." He said rubbing his own chest a little showing Zeff didn't have many variations in his persuasion methods.

"Ah so that's why he wants me to stay!" Luffy said while moving closer towards Sanji. "Well if you don't want to be a waiter here then hows about you become a cook on my ship and we get outta here?"

Sanji took and drag and shook his head "Can't. Got a good reason to stay."

"NO!"

Gin and Sanji were knocked back a little by the sheer force behind the shout. Rubbing his non covered ear Sanji narrowed his eye at the pirate. "What do you mean no? You can't ignore my decision!"

"Can too!" Luffy replied childishly. "I've decided your joining my crew and nothings going to change that! Even if I have to drag onto my ship kicking and screaming and tie you to a pole in the kitchen!"

"What! You can't be serious!"

The look in the new chore boys eyes told his otherwise. So he tried a different and more diplomatic approach.

"You can't drag me onto your ship if your ARMS ARE BROKEN CRAP PIRATE!" The blond growled. Standing and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Ha the jokes on you! If you break my arms then I can't do any chores!" Luffy grinned, rubbing his shoulder preparing for a brawl.

"Uhhhh..." Gin butted in.

"WHAT!" The two soon to be combatants yelled at the one who would dare interrupt.

"Well I, names Gin by the way, I was just wondering something. What exactly are you after? Rookies in this part of the world don't really do much til they are a few years older than you."

Luffy lowered his clenched fists and smiled "Well that's a dumb question. I'm after what every other pirate in the world wants"

Gins eyes widened "You don't mean..."

Luffy nodded. "Yup. One piece."

"B-b-but t-that's thought to be hidden in the grand line! You don't seriously want to go there!"

"Go there? HA! I'm not just gonna go there. I'm gonna conquer it and be PIRATE KING!"

Gin could do nothing but gap at the boy with the audacity to say something like that.

"Of course." Luffy said somewhat shyly "I don't really have a big crew yet. I'm just trying to get a skeleton crew ready then I'll find more when I'm there." He pointed at Sanji "With Sanji here I'll have five people in all including me."

"Hey! Don't include me chore boy!"

"Don't go."

Luffy and his unwilling cook turned to face Gin before another argument started up.

"A skeleton crew? Seriously? Kid your just starting out and seem nice enough so I'll give you a word of warning. If you go to the grand line you'll die. Stay here and give up one piece."

Luffy if he'd been told that any other way would have laughed in Gins face, but the way he spoke just now. As if whatever life Sanji's food had given him was drained away and leaving his tone hollow and tired.

"The grand line really scares you doesn't it?"

Gin shook his head and put his hands on his temples. "More than anything else. We thought it would be a walk down the beach. But that devil sea. It was something the likes no one could ever be prepared for.

Sanji resisted the urge to roll his eye. "Wow. For a Krieg pirate your such a wimp."

Luffy spoke up. Something bothering him "Whats a Krieg?"

Both pirate and cook looked at Luffy like he was stupid "What? No pirates ever came near where I lived and only the mayor got the paper delivered." (4)

"Luffy." Said Sanji "The Krieg pirates is the biggest and most feared pirate crew in the east blue, all run by a guy named Don Krieg. The crew is 50 ships and 5000 pirates big."

The boy whistled "That's a lot of pirates. Must have all been wimps."

Gin lifted his head back out of his hands "Wimps?" He said with some annoyance at having that word thrown at him repeatedly.

"When you have that many guys and run out of the grand line when most pirates only have one or even two ships it tells me that you were trying to make up for weakness with numbers."

Gin could feel the nails Luffy was hitting going right through him.

"Mmmm." Sanji Hummed in contemplation "Still that many pirates should still be a force to be reckoned with."

Luffy shook his head "If you were dealing with low ranked marines and pirates in any other blue maybe. But the grand line has a ton of other dangers were numbers mean nothing. It wouldn't matter if you had a hundred men or a million, if you go in expecting the line to be like any other ocean then you may as well sail into a typhoon and save yourself time."

Sanji was impressed "For a newbie you sound like you've been their before."

"Nah. I just know a guy." The chore boy grinned.

Gin had kept quiet while the two boys exchanged 'pleasantries' all the while going over everything the boy had said, and for the life of him he couldn't argue with any of it. The Don was quite basic in his recruitment methods, go to the biggest, dingiest, most rat infested scum holes they could find and start recruiting til the ships were full. Never asking for background, skill level or even name before passing out the dime a dozen flintlocks and cutlasses. For all Gin knew the entire 5000 strong crew were made up of 5000 drunkards who thought it would be a laugh to be pirates.

He'd have to talk to the Don about this.

His stomach no longer as twisted in knots he felt like it was time for him to get back to said man. He stood up, wincing as the pain from his recent pummeling and started to make his way over to the one of the ships life boats.

"You heading back to your crew?" Asked Luffy.

Gin didn't bother responding and just unfurled the sails. "Chef."

"Yeah?"

He turned to face the blond and smirked "Thanks for the food. I'd hate to be you when those nut jobs inside find out what you did."

Sanji threw the plate and cutlery over the side in response "Did what?"

Gin just shook his head and kicked the Baratie's side. Sending the ship forward before the wind caught the sails. He turned back and bowed deeply to his savior, his head right against the deck of the boat, not uttering a single word.

Sanji turned away in embarrassment, Luffy unsurprisingly grinned his almost perpetual grin.

After a few minutes without it dropping Sanji was curious enough to ask why he was smiling like that.

"Just wondering how your gonna explain one of the ships life boats being stolen by a pirate."

Sanji stared at his for a second.

"F**k!"

Yeah Sanji..." Zeffs voice rang out from the upper deck. "How are ya gonna explain that?"

"Double f**k!"

* * *

Maybe he could stay for a year. Being a chore boy didn't seem to be anything all that difficult. He just came in, introduced himself to the kitchen staff and sat down on a conveniently placed chair. Never once bothering to ask if their was anything he could do while the men and women ran about like chickens with their heads cut off.

That is until one chef nearly ran into the seated boy while holding a recently decapitated bird. "You lazy ass!" The unshaven and sunglasses wearing man growled. "If you don't know what to do then go wash the dishes!" He pointed over to a loaded sink.

"If you say so." Said the boy calmly and proceeded to wash the fine china.

With that settled the chefs went back to their duty's, one of which was apparently bad mouthing Sanji while Luffy listened in.

"I don't know why Zeff doesn't just kick that idiot off the ship." Patty complained while flipping a recently filleted fish in a pan.

"Cause he was the first guy here aside from Zeff man." Responded the cook next to him.

"So what? He's the one that made all the waiters jump boat, starts more fights than any customer and treats all a us like bad tuna!"

A murmur of agreement went round the room.

"I tell ya if I had me way...anyone else here that?"

The clear and distinct sound of things breaking echoed around the kitchen. The cooks heads swiveled around looking for the source. Before falling on Luffy at the sink. The boy was staring back at them with large unblinking eyes, all the while his hands fumbled about under the water where loud 'cracks' emerged from every few seconds.

"How many dishes have you broken?" Patty said in shock.

Luffy shrugged "Dunno. Probably not a good idea for me to do something this delicate being as strong as I am and all."

Patty raised a fist over Luffy's head only for Carne (sunglasses cook) to grab it "Easy Patty. Remember you broke your share when you first started.

Calming down some Patty slowly face palmed and pointed over to the appliances "Just clean the metal wear."

Luffy did as complied, but not before snatching some food from a tray and devouring it in a single bite.

"AAAHHH! That took 8 HOURS to cook!" Screamed a cook in dismay. (5)

Luffy smacked his lips a little before moving towards the metal utensils "Needs salt."

The cook cried at the loose of something he had taken all day to prepare.

Luffy took hold of a wet cloth and stood over a very large wok. "Okay I don't think I can break this." He said before going to scrub it.

"WAIT THATS...!"

"YEOW!"

***ZZIINNGG!***

***THUD!***

* * *

The guests at the table near their kitchen were jolted from their seats when the timber and plaster suddenly erupted from the wall and part of a large metal disk appeared where it had been, Cutting the strings that had held a large heavy painting of a very beautiful woman in a southern dress on top of a stiff lipped 63 year old who had nothing better to do than belittle her great nieces choice in men.

* * *

The entire staff stared at the wok firmly embedded in the wall with eyes as wide as dinner plates. Patty had sunk to the floor below the wok which had been centimeters from doing to him what he'd done to that monkey a few months ago to make soup.

"Bgh! Ging yabble...BuKaBurg...vt vt..." Gibberish spouted from his mouth in shock and rage like a 2 year old on a sugar high. Slowly and robotically rising from the floor and walking towards Luffy who was busy running his burnt fingers under a cold tap.

The chefs watched as Luffy turned around smiling at Patty who was gritting his teeth hard enough to crack and bringing his shaking hands up towards the pirates throat.

"Sorry bout that." Luffy said

Patty stood their for a few seconds. His hands still level with Luffy's neck. The cooks watching with baited breath. A few more moments and one of Patty's trembling hands reached into his front pocket and pulled out a small notepad and pencil. He stuffed them in his would be murderers hands then pointed at the door leading to the restaurant.

"Uhhhhhh?" He looked back up at Patty for help.

"Go...take...orders" He growled out.

"...Come again?"

"Go...out...there...and...take...orders...before...I...kill...you."

"Ahhh. Ok." She said cheerfully and left for the main floor.

The other cooks remained still with Patty still staring at where Luffy had been. Carne slowly made his way over to his friend.

"Uhhh Patty?"

***BAM***

The pan Carne quickly picked up was caved in by spinach powered giant forearms.

Patty suddenly remembered he had to breath and took several deep gulps of air.

"Better?" Carne asked.

Patty took in a few more breaths and nodded. Heading back to his station and resuming his work, only to stop a few seconds later.

"What are ye looking at?"

"..."

"GET BACK TO WORK!"

The kitchen was suddenly abuzz from activity as the cooks resumed what they did best.

* * *

The straw hatted boy, not as oblivious to the anger grumbled at how his first day of work had been going while scanning the room for people ready to order.

'If I wanted to be threatened to be strangled I'd have stayed home.'

As he was mulling over his treatment he spotted yet another great injustice. His crew, picking at plates that were minutes before filled with mouth watering food and rubbing their satisfied stomachs while sighing contentedly.

This was another of the few ways to get Monkey D Luffy truly angry. If you could eat and he couldn't!

"WHAT THE HELL!" He snarled through his teeth "I'M SLAVING AWAY AND YOU GUYS ARE SITTING ABOUT EATING! HOW UNFAIR IS THIS!"

Zoro took the toothpick he was using out of his mouth and smirked at his captains anger "Hey were not the ones who tried to blow up this place."

"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

Nami replied "And your point is what?"

"GGGRRRR!"

"Hey hey leave the poor guy alone. He has to work here for a whole year and he doesn't need us rubbing it in." Said Usopp.

That lightened Luffy's mood considerably, until his sniper opened his mouth again.

"On a completely unrelated note, can I change our pirate flag. You know just until your out of debt."

Sanji meanwhile was pouring wine for a girl he was quickly turning into putty when a loud shout re solidified his efforts much to his chagrin.

'Damn it!' "Excuse me Madame I'll go take care of that noise." He said politely. Making the woman blush slightly and him to dance a pervy jig in his head.

He walked over to the table. He liked the kid well enough, but if he stopped him getting any then he must be destroyed! He slinked up behind the younger boy and lifted his leg high over his head and...froze.

Her hair moved like fiery red silk as she turn to face him. Her eyes deeper than the deepest seas, skin like the finest china and Lips that begged him closer.

She was a goddess.

His legs, powerful enough to crush rock turned to jelly and bring him to his knees. His jaw went slack at the sight of her and he could not tear his eye away from the world she now filled.

With titanic effort he put his hands on the floor and tried to push himself up. His palms numb and his legs feeble he slowly rose. His power returning like the tide. Surging through him to reach higher and higher until.

"THANK NEPTUNE! I owe him so much to allow me to met you on this glorious day!"

The strawhats looked at him oddly until he shoved Luffy out of the way so he could get down on one knee in front of Nami. Clasping her dainty hand in his uncalloused ones and gazing up at her in doe eyed affection.

"Oh merciful goddess. Why must you be so cruel. To bring me a vision such as you yet only allow us together if I were to become a dastard." Tears formed in his eye at the impossible choice.

"So become a pirate you eggplant." Zeff said appearing from the stairs leading to the upper quarters.

"What was that crap chef!" Snapped Sanji. Suddenly on his feet and glaring at his mentor.

"What your hair cover you ears to? I said beat it! Nobody wants you here anymore." Zeff said gruffly.

* * *

At the same time as this was going on. Gin the not so hungry wolf had managed to reach his destination in a far shorter time than first thought. Arriving at a pretty uninteresting island. Sailing into an inlet where a not so uninteresting ship was anchored.

He made his way up to the deck. Walking over the bodies of groaning and pleading men to reach the captains cabin.

The door creaked open and promptly fell of it's hinges after a few inches of movement. Turning to splinters upon hitting the floor.

"Gin?" A deep and coarse voice said weakly followed by a bout of violent coughing.

"Y-yes Don Krieg, it's me." He said and walked inside.

"You look well. That means ***COUGH*** you found food."

He nodded, and then did something that he was here after regret.

"Youll take me to *HACK* were you got it." It wasn't a request.

He stood still for a few moments. Then nodded.

* * *

"What the hell are you talking about old man!" Sanji asked. His brow twisting into an even greater spiral of irritation.

"You heard me Sanji. Leave, get lost, beat it. Go be a pirate or marine or whatever! Just as long as you leave and never come back." The old chef replied.

"Don't talk crap! I'm the Sous chef of this place. The only one that's been here longer than me is you, and that's a matter of seconds! So why would I leave?"

Zeff stroked his beard in mock concentration "Oh I don't know. How about A You pick a fight with anyone that doesn't lick their plate clean. B you turn into a chain smoking puddle of goo whenever you see a pretty girl and C your a lousy cook!"

Sanji bit through his cigarette at the mention of C.

"Besides your despised by every other person who lives on this boat. So do us all a big favor and leave."

"NEVER!" Sanji shouted once more drawing the whole restaurants attention. "No matter how many times you tell me to or how many of those asses hate me I'll never leave the Baratie!"

"COUP DE MOTTE!"(6)

Zeff must build his furniture out of scrap wood or something. How else could he afford to replace the tables he'd lost today including the one he just broke by suplexing his apprentice through it.

"Little brat." Zeff snorted and headed back to work.

"Ughhhh. You can throw me around til your blue in the face crap chef. Because I plan to become the next head chef when you die!"

The old man didn't even turn around "Then you better pray your part giant cause I won't be dying for another hundred years."

Sanji stared after his mentor as he headed back to the kitchen. Trying to turn the old man into cinders with his mind when a hand patted his back hard enough to make him cough up his stomach content.

"You here that. He said you can come with us now." Luffy was quite delighted by this development.

Sanji wisely ignored Luffy and rounded back on Nami. His eyebrow twisted into a heart shape with her dazzling smile.

"My apologies for the ruckus madame. Please accept this complimentary fruit cocktail and wine along with my humblest apologies." He said sweetly while pulling a large glass filled with fruit and jelly out from behind his back like in an old cartoon along with a bottle of old wine.

Nami was naturally delighted. The most recent member to the crew however was less so.

"Hey what about us! That little bust up was just as annoying for us as her so wheres our complimentary stuff."

A dirty cup full of what he hoped was tea banged down in front of him making more than half of its contents spill onto the saucer.

"There some tea on the house. That better you whiny little asshole?" Said Sanji who hated having to tear his sight away from the ginger haired goddess to deal with needle nose.

"No as a matter of fact it isn't!" Usopp stood up. "The food might be great but the service stinks like Luffy before bath night..."

The chore boy shivered.

"... I mean look you haven't even cleared our plates away after we finished like 10 minutes ago!"

Sanji looked over the offending dishes. Usopp still had some mushrooms left, Zoro had a few stray noodles and Nami had an emptied bean pod left. "You still have food on these plates."

Usopp gaped "Are you serious? That old guy wasn't kidding when he said you make everyone lick their plates clean?"

"Wasting food is a crime. Eat it." The cook said in all seriousness.

"I hate mushrooms. The last time I ate some it turned out to be poison and I ended up in bed for a week with my face swollen up like a watermelon."

"I don't care if it made your nuts drop! They aren't poison so eat the damn mushrooms!" He pressed closer until he was face to nose with Usopp.

"Will you two stop fighting. I can't enjoy this with all this yelling." Nami butted in with a mouth full of fruit.

"Of course Madame." All of Sanji's aggression vanished in an instant.

Usopp and Zoro rolled their eyes while Luffy picked at whatever his crew had left. Nami smiled suggestively (wickedly) and rapped her arms around the chefs neck and pulled him into a hug.

You could see the steam waft out of the cooks ears. The face he made was like Ataru Moriboshi, Happosai and Jiraiya were thrown in a blender, cooked, poured into a mold and shaped into a mask to place on the blondes face

"By the way..." She purred "This food is a little pricey for me. I was just wondering..."

"It's all on the house." He blurted out. "Your male friends can pick up the extra cost."

Even Zoro cracked the glass he was holding. Nami seemed to think it a good deal though and agreed.

"Wow even I think that's too much." Said Luffy while drinking Usopp's tea. "And this stuff tastes dish water."

***WHACK***

"And who told you that you could sit with the customers chore boy." The person attached to the foot in the back of Luffy's skull said. Grabbing him by the back of the shirt and dragging him back to the kitchen.

"Hey no fair my break just started!" He whined all the way until the thick doors blocked all sounds he made, letting diners 'finally' enjoy a moments peace.

A 'moments' peace

* * *

That moment lasted two days.

Two days on wining, whining and dining for the crew. Luffy did manage to get better at his supposed duties after realizing that he couldn't get fired simply for being bad at his job. The same as anywhere else at the moment really. He stopped cracking and Patty only semi feared for his life after the first day.

While Nami enjoyed the blondes charity Usopp and Zoro had taken to staying on the ship and eating what food they had to save money. Luffy was watched closely to make sure he didn't run away but they didn't have to worry since he seemed dead set on getting Sanji to be his cook and refused to leave until it was so.

For the customers it was certainly a fresh change of pace. Regulars were both relieved and disappointed that there was no floor show to go with their meals but new that such times couldn't last for long on the Baratie, and those times ended when one man while sipping on a south blue blend dropped his glass when he looked out the window and saw a raised jolly roger.

"K...K...KRIEG! THE KRIEG PIRATES ARE HERE!"

The restaurant erupted into chaos. Even diners who were used to the constant fighting of pirates and cooks were running around in terror at the thought of facing the king of the east.

Carne looked both horrified and a touch cocky while his bald by choice friend was gripping his peach fuzz head of hair. "See Patty. Weren't you told not to mess with a Krieg pirate! Now they're coming to avenge his treatment here and its all your fault!"

"How was I supposed ta know that a crew a five thousand would care bout one guy!"

"Were all gonna die!"

"WAITER I WANT A LAST MEAL!"

"SHOVE OFF! I AIN'T SPENDING MY LAST HOUR SERVIN NOBODY!"

While the supposedly fearless fighting cooks ran around the ship others were not nearly so terrified. Zeff, Zoro, Luffy and Sanji were more curious than anything else. namely as to how the massive boat could still be afloat.

The flag ship of the great Krieg pirate armada had definitely seen better days. Not a sail on either of its two remaining masts were left undamaged. The figurehead looked as if someone had ripped a hunk of it off like a child ripping a hunk of fudge from a big block (7). The bow looked ready to break away from the stern and the air was so filled with moans and creaks from both the ship and its occupants that it was hard to tell who was doing which. This ship was on it's last legs.

"I don't think that was anything done by any pirate." Said Sanji. "That sort of damage is the kind you get caught in the mother of all storms."

Luffy nodded. Cracking his fists on reflex.

The panic inside slowly quieted down when everyone started to hear the same thing. A noise that although quiet still roared over every scream of terror and crash of furniture.

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

It drew closer and closer to the front doors. Guests backed away while cooks reached into their cloths.

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

***THUMP***

…...

***CREEEEEEEEEEK***

The front door opened slowly and with a pronounced whine from the door. Revealing one tall figure in the doorway. It walked in slowly, panting with every step until in clear view of everyone.

A woman screamed. Or Usopp, hard to tell really.

Don Krieg was a tall man. Easily a head or more than Sanji or Gin who was holding him up and more than three times as wide. He was the sort of man you could tell was physically strong the way his muscles still showed even if he looked no better than his crew member when he first came and was wearing a heavy fur coat over a tacky leopard print shirt. Sweat and blood ran down his bandaged head with a lot of it sticking in his Victorian style sideburns and the rest dripping onto the thick golden chain tying his coat together.

"Please...food." He moaned out while Gin inched him further into the restaurant "I've got money. Lots of money."

He then collapsed. Gin who was unable to hold him captains weight with his own atrophied body buckled and let the man collapse to the floor.

Looks of fear melted in the wake of such a well known pirate tumbling like that. Widening and widening when Gin dropped to his knees and begged his captain to get up.

"Please, help him!" Gin pleaded to the crowd. "He hasn't eaten in over a week, hell die if he doesn't get some food!"

A loud and boisterous laugh rang through Baratie. Coming from Patty. Like any good laugh it spread like a virus. The laughing grew louder and louder until almost everyone in the restaurant was holding their sides and gasping for air.

"This is it? This is the great Don Krieg the most feared man in all the east blue? Oh mercy me I'm shakin in me boots HAHAHAHA!"

"Hey! Were customers so give us food!" Said Gin angrily while holding an arm defensibly over his captain.

"Shut it." Snarled the strong armed cook. He kicked the pirate off his commander. "Like I'm stupid enough ta give Krieg anything. I say we leave him ta the marines!"

"Yeah if we feed him hell just rob us blind and take our ship!"

"He won't even get a sip of water from us."

Patty closed his eyes and lapped up the attention and praise. It was so hard to come by in a place were you were the closest thing to a thanks he got was someone not backing away from him in disgust.

An insistent tugging at his pants leg lead him to peer down, and almost wet himself at the sight.

Kreig had managed even in his near dead state to raise himself up off the floor, but only enough to pull himself into a bow with his head still firmly pressed too the floor.

"PLEASE! I have countless millions on my ship! I'll give you every last beri for anything to eat. Even if it's just a breadcrumb I'll surrender everything to you. Please!"

Gin wiped away his tears. More disillusioned than humiliated to see his leader reduced to begging for food like an old tramp.

Patty just kicked the man off him. "I don't care if ye were offering a whole island. Your getting nothing!"

"Hey Patty could you move?" Sanji asked politely.

"Huh? Oh sure." The fry cook moved out of the way on reflex in the face of manners allowing his hated frenemy past him.

Sanji moved around Patty and put a steaming plate of rice in front of the pirate and a bottle of wine. Krieg jumped on it and began inhaling.

"SANJI WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" Screamed one of the chefs. The rest as wel as the customers freezing in horror at the site of Krieg scarfing down as much as he could in as little time as possible. One particularly spineless man even ran for the doors and jumped overboard.

"What does it look like I'm doing? My job." Replied the blonde like it was obvious. Which it really was.

Carne snorted "It's not he'll leave like he promised you idiot. That man got so strong cause he wrote the book on how to be a lying bastard! He..."

"I know I know. Killed his old marine unit and stole the ship to become a pirate. He lied and cheated all of the east blue until he was the man he is today." He looked down at the man eating like a dog. "And he'll probably try to rob and kill everyone here when he's done choking."

He was pragmatic to say the least. That's why when Krieg clothes lined him immediately after he finished speaking there was no surprise in his expression. Pain definitely and shock at nearly swallowing his cigarette in reflex but no surprise. Unlike everyone else who actually were surprised what had happened.

It would be several days later when Gin would realise this and a cold chill would run up his spine.

However today he was still quite weak and slow thinking from hunger so wasn't as aware of irony as he should be. So...

"Captain what are you doing? This is the man who saved you! Saved me! How ca...GRUGH!" Krieg's ham sized hand clamped over Gin throat in an extremely impatient way of telling him to be quiet.

"Gin!" Luffy yelled out.

"Gratitude isn't something I'm widely known for Gin." The revived pirate said before tossing Gin to land next to Sanji several feet away. His eyes scanned the room critically, like one would a new home or car. Taking in the people aboard guests and staff alike as well as the decoure.

"I have to say you've got a nice boat here. Or should that be 'I've' got a nice boat here." He said casually. Letting the mere words do all the work.

They did the job indeed. Guests ran screaming for the boats they road in on hoping to get away with their lives.

***BANG*** A bullet sailed through the hand of the first man to touch a door courtesy of a pistol in Krieg's hands.

"When I claim something I don't just claim it, I claim everything and everyone in it!" He sneered. With a flick of his wrist a pistol appeared in his other hand as well pointing towards the other half of the room. His eyes darting around for even the smallest hint of defiance.

"Normally I wouldn't even consider such a tiny boat worthy to be my ship. But if any of you looked out the window you'll see that my old ship isn't exactly up to standards. Neither is my crew for that matter..."

Several people gulped loudly. Surely this madman wasn't considering what they thought he was.

"...But I can't really be fussy right now." He sneered "So here's whats going to happen. I take the ship, the valuables and any man strong enough to swing a sword becomes part of my crew for the rest of their lives." He said coolly.

One man forgot his fear long enough to be appalled by that statement. "Your insane! I'm not..."

"**INSOLENCE!"**

***BANG***

He went sailing back several feet. Blood seeping into his white shirt.

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I never asked, everything I say is a demand! YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY, WHEN I SAY BECAUSE I SAY! UNDERSTAND!"

Gin took a step back from his captain. He'd seen first hand what Krieg did to those who didn't obey.

"Now, as my new crew I'm assigning you the task of getting food to all my other men on my former flag ship. I have a hundred mouths to feed and I don't intend for them to wait a second longer."

"No!"

The crowd parted around Carne like a yellow bellied red sea.

Krieg eyes bulged in anger and he aimed one of his pistols at the cook "You DARE defy me cook!"

Carne sneered right back at him. "Hell yeah I do! We feed them and suddenly were staring down a hundred pirates. You may be the king of the east Krieg! but your still just one man with a few pistols!"

Krieg's angry expression intensified for a second before dropping. He chuckled a little. "Maybe. But the question isn't how many I kill. But who I kill." He aimed his right pistol at a young woman holding onto a man who had came here to propose to her. His other weapon aimed into the gaggle of men in kitchen uniforms.

"Is anyone here that big a hero?"

Surprisingly no one wanted to step foward...well except Luffy who was struggling in vain as he was kept hidden behind the cooks and guests. Usopp covering his loud mouth shut while a dozen men plus Zoro weakly managed to keep him from starting a massacre.

Gin moaned from his downed position while Sanji shifted the injured man off of him "I'm sorry. I never thought he'd do something like this when his life was on the line. AGH!" He yelled in pain from a kick to the side from Patty.

"That's what you get fer underestimatin yer captains scruples! And were de ye think your going Mr 'Lets feed Double cross Krieg'!" The burly man barked at Sanji who was heading towards the kitchen.

The cook turned back to look at Patty. He gazed up at the sign over the door which said 'KITCHEN. STAFF ONLY' In bold italics then back at Patty.

"The bathroom."

Veins bulged all across Patty's scalp, making more than a few people turn away to keep down there lunch "Don't give me that Hogwash! What possible reason do you have to go into the kitchen now!"

"Get the food ready for Krieg's crew. Duh"

***GASP***

***CLICK***

***CLICK***

***CLICK***

***CLICK***

***CLI-CLI...TAP TAP-THUD... **"come on work you stupid...ah there we go"**...CLICK****

***CLICK***

***CLICK***

Sanji took another deep breath of nicotine. His progression to the kitchen halted with the sudden appearance of a number of rather old an ill kept flintlock pistols being pointed at his head. The cooks holding the guns ranging from clearly unwilling to fire since holding the pistol with both hands couldn't hold it steady, to very eager to put a bullet through his skull and look damn good doing based on the cocky way the one in front of him was putting a hand on his hip 'and' looking away.

"Krieg's pet are we Sanji?" Said the one with his hand on his hip. Slowly rotating the pistol 90 degrees to the left. "We knew you were trouble right from the start. We won't let you take a step near the kitchen to help scum like him!"

"And who the f**k gave you the authority to decide who you could cook for?"

Everyone was at the very least surprised at the blonde cyclops blunt question. Even Luffy had stopped struggling against everyone (much to their exhausted relief) to watch the interesting development.

The cooks did not lower their arms while Sanji explained himself.

"Were not pirates. Were not marines. Were not government, police or any kind of people who's job it is to choose whats right and whats wrong. Were cooks, nothing more and nothing less. And as cooks its our duty to do one thing and one thing only. Feed people."

The straw hats listened intently. As did the rest of the Baratie.

"Sure I know what Krieg's crew is gonna do when they get their strength back. But as a cook I will never deny food to somebody who asks for it. No matter who that person may be. What exactly is wrong with that?"

A hammer blow to the back of the head told Sanji exactly what Patty thought of his moving little speech.

"Tie this low life up" He commanded his fellow crew members. Thoroughly disgusted with the younger mans actions.

"Theirs a difference between not caring bout right and wrong and bein' royally stupid. I didn't make a fuss the last 50 times ya feed penniless bums but this time we've gone TOO FAR!"

From out of hammer space Patty pulled out a giant metal prawn...couldn't make that up if I was Yoshio bloody Sawai (8)...and aimed it at Krieg who keep in mind was still holding two loaded guns with one actually pointing at Patty yet had not fired in all the time it had taken the cook to pull out a weapon and heft it in his direction.

"Ye want food Krieg? Then choke on this 'can't believe I said that' EBI AKAHIYAKI!" (9)

The squint eyed man barely recoiled from the incredible force of the cannon fire. Smoke billowed out of his weapon and an explosive sphere coloured like its namesake hurtled towards the pirate admiral, who while looking confident was really just to shocked by the ridiculous weapon to even realise what was happening until his form went up in fire and smoke. The explosion sent him hurtling back into the heavy doors which since they didn't open the way they were torn of their hinges to let the flaming mass past.

"BOSS!" Guess who said that.

Patty moaned miserably "Damn I busted the door. Zeff's gonna have me own akahiyaki fer this."

Carne waved him off "Relax. You were defending the restaurant If anything Zeff will probably give you a raise."

The chefs were silent for a moment before bursting out with laughter.

"Hey where is Zeff anyway." Noticed on of the fighting cooks.

Sanji who was now fitted with a rope strait jacket had a pretty good idea but didn't say anything about it "So what are you planning for those guys on Krieg's boat."

Carne grinned like a cat in wonderland "I was thinking flambee HA HA HA!"

"Sounds good." An all to familiar voice replied.

Ice ran up the cooks backs. They turned back to the doorway and watched in horror when the smoldering lump in it got back to it's feet. Patting the few small flames left out and looking no worse for wear Don Kreig stood at his full height. His expensive fur coat and ugly shirt now just tatters at his feet revealing an un-scorched and dent free armored chest. A fur cape behind him billowing in the slight wind.

" *URP* That had to be the worst thing I've ever eaten. All it did was leave ash in my mouth ."

Luffy, who was feeling rather left out at the moment decided to give himself at least some dialogue "Whoa! He's wearing armour!"

Ordinarily the sight of a man getting up after being blasted by a cannon ball would make men turn tail, but the fighting cooks of Baratie aren't ordinary men. They'll fight tooth and nail until their enemy's are either running themselves or part of the menu. They all drew their own weapons. Not satisfied with conventional weaponry the cooks hefted massive forks, spears that looked like overgrown table knives and a large spoon that the unfortunate cook would always insist was a club that had been dented so much from crushing pirate skulls that it ended up cutlery shaped.

"Come on men! So what if he's armored? It's only one man! CHARGE!"

Kreig growled. They dare still try to attack him. It was such...such...

"INSOLENCE!"

4 seconds. In only four seconds every cook that had dared challenge Krieg suddenly jerked back as hot lead peppered them. Sending each man as well as one or two nearby customers to the floor in complete agony.

Those not on the floor writhing in pain stared up at Kreig. His Armour had opened up all over. Each hidden compartment revealing twin barrel pistols poised to mow down everything in front of them.

"Never...and I mean NEVER defy me! I am the undisputed king of the east! I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF A HUNDRED MEN!"

He flexed him armored biceps and hit his metal chest.

"The strongest wootz steel armor money can buy!"

A clicking sound filled the air and everyone knew his guns were armed again.

"More hidden weapons strapped to me than everyone here has in the open!"

He then flexed his fist. Showing a glittering gauntlet encrusted with clear gems.

"And diamond fists to make my blows unstoppable!"

"I HAVE 5000 MEN ABOARD 50 SHIPS! I AM THE KING! MY WORD IS LAW AND TO DEFY ME MEANS DEATH!"

"Keep it up Krieg. With all the hot air your spouting this old hunk of scrap wood may actually rise into the sky." Said Zeff who had came in halfway through Kreig's little speech. Tossing down a heavy looking sack which gave off the most delicious smells.

"Here. Food for your 'entire' crew."

"Chef Zeff what are you doing!" Yelled Carne.

That caught the bigger mans attention "Zeff? This old man is Zeff?"

"Chef this is insane" Another cook wailed.

"Yeah don't you know whats gonna happen now?"

Zeff kept his eyes firmly on Krieg "That depends on his remaining crews spirits."

His own crew quieted down "R-remaining?"

The tall hatted chef nodded "Don't let his bluster and bravado fool you. I've seen many a man in such a state before and it always means the same thing..."

The men moved in. Kreig gritted his teeth and Gin actually started crying.

"...It means that the so called king of the east year was chewed up and spat out by the grand line!"

The chefs murmured amongst themselves. The strongest pirate in this sea couldn't handle the grand line? What kind of hell ocean was that place?

Krieg was still staring at Zeff. Repeating his name under his breath over and over for about half a minute before he snapped back to what was unfortunately reality.

"Your red shoes Zeff! The pirate that doubled as his ships cook!" He said with only a small amount of respect in his voice.

The former pirate snorted but nodded "Yeah so what? I'm just a chef exclusively nowadays."

"Not by choice though is it?" Krieg looked down at the peg were Zeff's leg was once. "The mighty red shoes Zeff, who legendary kicks could shatter granite and leave his footprint in steel, whose legs were soaked in the blood of his enemy's being reduced to slinging second rate slop to a bunch of stuff shirts. Oh how the mighty have fallen."

If Zeff was moved in any way by those words he didn't show it. The rest of the ship though had varying levels of surprise to find out that the old dude they served or were served by was once such a notorious man. Sanji looked more angry than surprised.

Zeff just shrugged "I could care less if I had my either of my legs. So long as I've got my hands I can cook. That's all that matters to me. If your trying to get a rise out of me by spouting old stories then your doing a lousy job"

'Which explains why he never used his hands' "You went to the grand line right. And you managed to sail those waters for an entire year and survive. If you were any kind of pirate back then that means you probably wrote a log book. Give it to me!" He held his hand out unexpectedly.

Zeff stared at the outstretched hand. "Sorry boy. No can do..."

Krieg's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"...That book is a testament to the exploits to me and the men who sailed with me. It's as important to me as this ship and my hands. I'd never give it to a blowhard like you."

"IF I HAVE TO RIP YOU APART TO GET IT I WILL!" The pirate admiral bellowed, all his barrels aiming at the head chef of Baratie. The cooks gripped their weapons tighter while the straw hats watched the exchange in manners fitting their personality's. Usopp cowered under the table while Zoro watched the scene like others would a show. Nami had dismissed herself a while before to use the 'facilities'. Luffy was still standing between the cooks and guests like an idiots.

"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!" Yelled the man once more before emptying the barrels on his right wrist into another man brave and foolish enough to try and flee. Causing more diners to scream in terror.

Taking several deep breaths Krieg calmed down some "I may have fled the grand line, but I am still don Krieg! The strongest pirate in this sea! The only reason I never stood a chance in that place was because I knew next to nothing about it. But with your log book, your crew and this ship that could all change."

"No way are we becoming pirates!" Growled Carne wielding his battle spoon.

"Were cooks! Just because every other kitchen we worked in said otherwise before they fired us doesn't change that." Said nameless cook number 3

"The Baratie isn't just our work place. It's our HOME! And we ain't turning it over to you"

Another wave of hot lead silenced them.

"YOU'LL DO AS YOUR TOLD!" Snarled Krieg. He'd had quite enough of people not bending over backwards for him for one day.

"Captain please. You shouldn't GAH!" Gin tried reasoning with his captain only to be met with a boot to the face.

"Don't you dare tell me what I shouldn't do Gin. Or I'll tie you to the front of one of the ships cannons." Krieg said loud enough for everyone to hear "As soon as I get that book I'll gather more men to go with everyone here. Then I'll sail the full line and find Rogers great treasure! Securing my place as the one true pirate king!"

"You couldn't even be the king of a kiddy pool!"

It seemed to be quite the common occurrence in Baratie. It was either full of people screaming or yelling at the top of their lungs, or it was so quiet that you could hear a fly pass gas. Usually these two event went hand in hand, someone says something big and dramatic which is then followed by silence, which is followed by yelling.

Luffy moved in front of Zeff and hands on his hips and not showing the smallest amount of fear towards the king of the east, much to Krieg's ire and Gins awe.

"What did you say you little brat?" Krieg growled through his teeth.

The king to be snorted at the king who was. "Did I stutter? I said you could never conquer the grand line. Your weak!"

To everyone's surprise the massive man didn't look the least bit angry. Ordinarily you'd expect him to reach over and rip Luffy in half, but Krieg was genuinely stunned at the boys bluntness. He'd been told he would never win, he'd been told that he was going down, he'd even been told that that he was nothing compared to the power of his opponents all before he'd beaten them down without mercy. What Luffy had just said to him however was something entirly different. This wasn't someone who was overconfident about their own power. This was someone who was sure about his 'lack' of power.

"Do you have any idea who your speaking to kid?" Kreig replied gravely, Luffy grinned.

"Sure I do. The self named pirate king who's entire army failed were crews a hundred times smaller succeeded."

The anger began to creep back onto the massive mans face "You think you know anything about pirates! I've been sailing these waters for a decade just to get were I am. What have you done except wash dish's!"

"Huh? Oh right the apron." He tossed the offending apron asde. "It's just to pay back the old man. My true goal is to become pirate king!"

"HA HA HA HA YOUR JOKING! Your barely even half my size and built like a toothpick. How's a runt like you gonna conquer the line?"

Luffy grinned "Easy. I've got my crew." He jabbed a thumb over to the table that Zoro was sitting at and Usopp was cowering behind.

"Ha ha ha HA HA HA Just two? HA HA Your just kids! going to the grand line or to school?"

Luffy looked offended "Hey that's not true. I also have two more, including him." He pointed back at Sanji who looked offended.

"Just four? Kid I had 5000 men in my armada aboard 50 ships. And in only 7 days all but the hundred aboard my flagship were wiped out!"

Uncaring aboard the gasping going around Luffy once more shrugged "So? Gold Roger became pirate king with a crew barely half the size of the one you have left."

Krieg aimed his arm right at Luffy's head. Gritting his teeth he hefted the bag onto his shoulders and turned around.

"I'm going to go give this food to my men. When I get back I want Zeff's journal, all the valuables in a nice little pile on the table, and everyone ready to submit to becoming my crew." He looked over to the diners who were again inching towards the other exits "And don't try leaving. My old ship might be on it's last legs but the cannons still all work fine." With that he left. Letting multiple people slump to the floor in relief.

"Oh thank Neptune."

"I thought he'd shoot us."

"Hardly." Said Zeff.

"Eh? What makes ye say that Chef? You saw how trigger happy he was." Patty said.

Zeff shook his head "Yeah. I also saw how itchy his trigger finger was. If he could shoot any of those guns he would've turned the boy into cheese 3 times over. That bozo ran out of bullets when he shot at you all last time."

"You mean...?"

"Yeah. Hewas bluffing." He said. Staring at where Krieg had stood. His eyes slowly rotating down towards Gin "You still here? I would have thought you'd have followed Krieg like the loyal little dog you are."

Gin recoiled slightly at the jab, but conceded the point. "I'm sorry. I didn't think he'd do this. I thought better of him."

"Relax boy. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty."

Gins look of astonishment was matched only by the cooks looks of betrayal.

"Chef do you here yourself! This is the man that brought Kreig here! A man that was saved by that bastard blonde." A meaty finger was pointed at Sanji "The restaurant is gonna be destroyed and were all about ta be coursed inta the pirate life! And it's all Sanji's fault!"

"SHUT UP YOU EGG PLANTS!"

Patty backed away from Zeff, as did others.

"Have you ever been hungry? And I don't mean skipped breakfast kind of hunger, I mean going weeks without a crumb of bread or a drop of drinkable water? It eats away at you in more ways than one. The most powerful of men are reduced to pitiful shells of themselves, and even the most noble can become monsters who are willing to do anything for a single bite."

"Whats your point Chef?" Asked Carne. Clearly not noticing the old mans forlorn glances at his peg.

"...My point is that any of you who want to keep moaning and whimpering may as well head out the back door. Take a gamble to see if Krieg was bluffing about his cannons like he was his guns." He turned to the now very quiet customers who cowered under the old mans glare. "And that goes for you lot to!"

The cooks looked amongst themselves, relaying messages silently to each other. The sound of straining wood could be heard coming from Patty holding his giant dinner fork.

"Like we said. The Baratie is our home."

Carne backed him up "And no one messes with a mans home!"

"Are you all crazy?" Said Gin, his eyes filled with disbelief "You've barely seen what he can do! If you fight you'll all get slaughtered!"

"And if we don't we'll be the galley slaves of the biggest dick in the blue. I say we take our chances." Said Sanji, pulling out a small tin of tobacco from his pocket and rolling another death stick.

"I'm a cook, so it's my duty to feed the hungry. But that's as far as it goes. As soon as they're fed I won't give a rats ass about them. If your shipmates attack the Baratie then I won't have any problem pummeling them to grease. Not even you Gin." He said to the man with the dragon on his back.

"Sanji..." He muttered breathlessly, staring at the younger man before Luffy got his attention.

"You never did say how your armada was wiped out? You must have been caught in a huge storm or something."

Gin looked at him for a moment before he began to shiver uncontrollably. Bringing his hands to his head like he had a migraine and resting his elbows on the floor. "A storm? I...I wish we'd gotten off that easy. But the hell we went through was much worse..."

"In all honesty I don't remember much about the first six days. They past like a dream and like any dream I can only remember the faintest parts of them. But the last day, the 7th was something that'll burn in my mind forever. All I remember before then was sailing along then...'he' appeared."

"He?" Said Zoro, interest piqued.

"I still can't believe it. That man, that single man without any provocation was able to annihilate our entire fleet!"

Even the normally cool headed Zoro was blown away by that revelation.

"No way. How can almost 50 ships be scuppered by one man?" said Sanji without his customary cool.

Gin shook even more "As soon as he was on us we couldn't escape. He breezed through the entire armada effortlessly. Turning galleons to timber and killing whole crews with a single move. If a real storm hadn't kicked up and pulled the us away from that massacre then the flagship would have been dragged into the locker as well."

"I'm not even sure if anyone else managed to survive that slaughter. I really don't won't to remember it. But I know I'll never forget that man..."

Zoro, who had been following Gins every word like Nami follows something shiny practically felt his heart stop at what he said next

"...That man with the piercing hawk eyes."

***CLATTER***

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

* * *

Man as a species prides itself on being a cut above the rest of the planets inhabitants. This is because unlike say a bird or a fish we are not ruled by our instinct, we are a civilized race of mammals that can carry out any action in a thought out and dignified manner.

Unless were hungry enough that is. Then we may be no better than the dogs we leash.

The sounds of eating aboard the battle scarred ship was matched only by sounds that you would think only a dog could make. Men scrambling over each other, shoving one another out of the way and even spilling blood all to reach that loaf of bread or shank of meat. They didn't have time for the manners their mothers had beaten into their brains since they were young, they didn't have time to act like humans at all. The only thing they cared about was filing the ravenous holes in their bellies.

"AAAAAWWWWWOOOOO!"

The wolves in pirate garb gave one last final united howl to signal the return of their humanity. Eyes dull in every sense of the word filled once again with human intellect, wiping away droll and dirt from their faces and managing to stand upright.

"Ahh AAHHHH! I feel great!" Cheered one pirate who seconds before had been praying to whatever deity's he could think of.

"Soooo goooood." Another patted his slightly distended stomach and looking like he was in nirvana.

"I thought that trip to the grand line would have killed us for sure!"

Kreig watch his replenished crew with a victorious grin "I'm so glad your all feeling better. Because I don't plan to wait long to go back."

The cheers and joyful crying halted immediately. The most feared crew in the east slowly turned to their captain and sincerely hoped he was joking.

"C-c-captain..."

Kreig didn't like the looks his men were giving him. "Is that cowardice I see?" He pointed a pistol an a random subordinate.

"WAIT N*ACK*!" Krieg's crew was reduced to 99.

He was glad he remembered to reload his guns before handing over the food. He looked around his remaining crew "Anyone else still afraid."

The pirates looked at each other for a few seconds before raising their arms and letting out a completely genuine and totally not forced cheer. If Kreig saw it as otherwise then he really didn't care.

"Good. Know then onto more current matters." He stood up, deliberately drawing close to his men to show of his full impressive height. He pointed towards the fish shaped ship they were floating next to. "You see that boat?"

One crew member nodded "Hey yeah. Isn't that the Bary something? The floating restaurant."

Kreig nodded and smiled wickedly "Not many would think that a ship that stupid looking would be filled with pirates ready to rob them blind."

That statement also had the duel purpose of measuring the intellect of his crew. He calculated his crews I.Q in direct contrast to how quickly their faces changed to show they got it.

***BANG***

Down to 98. A smart pirate was a disobedient one.

* * *

Zoro was bordering on Livid and ecstatic. Johnny had lied to him about 'Hawk eyes Mihawk' eating here, either that or had confused him with a flaming drunkard the cooks called 'red eyes'.

On the upside though he had gained some measure of the legendary fighters skill. Taking down 49 ships crew and all with little visible effort gave him at least some clue as to how big a gap they're was between him and his target.

He didn't like it.

Luffy on the other hand couldn't be happier at the news. If everyone was as strong as this Mihawk guy in the grand line then he should have no trouble finding adventure.

The armed men aboard the Baratie tensed as they heard their soon to be opponents draw closer. The sound of yelling and running echoing off of the walls. What few men brave customers brave enough to stand among the fighters did do after being handed whatever weapons they had spare. Including one boy brave and foolish enough to try impressing a gaggle of girls who had been very underwhelmed by their current partners lack of courage.

The yelling and thumping grew louder and louder. Inaudible murmuring becoming words that they could understand.

"OUT OF THE WAY!"

"MOVE YOU LOUSY COOKS!"

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

Weapons and fists fell limply to everyone's side at the sound of the pirates screaming in terror. One was about to say aloud what everyone was thinking until an even louder sound accompanied them.

***ZZZIIINNNGGG***

Krieg's flag ship, a vessel more than twice the size of Baratie was bisected. A single wave of air no thicker than a sheet of paper effortlessly cleaved through the wood and metal. Leaving a clean cut on either side smoother to the touch than marble.

The boat bobbed for a few seconds, like a man in shock it was almost as if it wasn't sure what had happened to it. Then when it finally did the ship began to warp, planks pulling every which way and the cannon near the bisection began to crush itself until the balls inside could not handle the strain and...

***BOOM***

That explosion was followed by another, and another and another until the half and half vessel was flaming timber, being reduced to flotsam and jetsam smoldering on the waves, oddly enough not sinking for some reason.

The cooks barged their way outside, falling over each other til every man was on deck. Everyone, even the normally stoic Zoro and fearless Luffy were gaping at the sight.

"What are you eggplants all gawking at? Weigh anchor before all that commotion capsizes us!" Yelled Zeff making his cooking crew spring into action to stop everyone from drowning.

Luffy bolted as soon as what had happened filtered through his dense skull.

"Luffy! Were do you think your going!" No way was Usopp letting someone as strong as his captain leave him to...I mean he needed his subordinate here to defend the helpless civilians inside the restaurant

"Johnny and Yosaku are still on Merry!" He called back, prompting his other present crew mates following behind.

"Brother Luffy Help!"

"Brother Zoro save us!"

Luff'ys worst fears were confirmed. Were once the two bounty hunters and his ship had been was just now the two bounty hunters, thrashing about in the violent waters trying to climb onto a ship too high to do so.

Luffy looked around. No sign of Merry, he prayed that it wasn't planning on joining Kriegs' ship "Guys! What happened to Merry!"

The two bounty hunters looked at each other then cried out "BROTHER Nami STOLE IT!"

"WWHHAATT!" Usopp and even Zoro felt their legs buckle along with their ear drums from Luffy's cry. The wooden banister under their captains fingers reduced to wood pulp in an instant.

"How could Nami just steal the ship? You two are swordsmen for crying out loud?" Zoro demanded of his old friends.

Johnny and Yosaku quieted down, looking from left to right nervously while bobbing against the sea.

"She displayed an unparalleled skill with a bo staff and knocked us of the boat." Yosaku answered robotically.

"Indeed. Though we fought with great valor it soon became apparent that she was to the staff what brother Zoro is to the sword. We stood no chance." Agreed Johnny, just as red faced as his partner.

They couldn't look the minty haired teen in the eye.

Usopp jumped up on the banister and peered out over the settling sea, just barely managing to make out a small ship on the horizon. "Well given that these two are still floundering about she couldn't have set off that long ago. But given the wind even if we could set off now she'd have a good few hours head start."

"Zoro, dive in and fish those two out!" Ordered Luffy.

Zoro nodded. He dived into the sea and with minimal effort tossed his companions up onto deck before jumping back on himself.

"We need a boat to go after her." Stated the captain. "Since Krieg didn't let any of the guests leave that means that they still have some lifeboats left."

Zoro grunted and shook his head "Forget about it. Like Usopp said by the time we can leave she'll be long gone. Best just get a new ship."

The sniper was indignant "HEY! I didn't say we shouldn't go after her! That boats got all my stuff on it!"

"The boat doesn't matter." Luffy said.

The four guys looked at his oddly.

"We can always get another boat. But Nami is the 'only' person I want as my navigator!" He declared boldly.

He didn't give them time to react. He picked Yosaku and Johnny up to their feet and addressed them. "I need you two along with Usopp and Zoro to chase after my navigator. You think you can do that?"

"Uhhhhh...sssuurrreee." Said Yosaku uncertainly.

Luffy curtly nodded and looked at his crewman with a serious expression. One that said 'your doing this'.

Zoro didn't have the patience nor Usopp the guts to argue with it and just followed after the other two. Zoro stopped in mi stride "You coming?"

"And leave that creep to these guys?" He grinned, which Zoro mimicked before running off.

Or at least he would have if he hadn't caught sight of a peculiar little boat bobbing in the waves.

* * *

The cooks were aghast at the sheer devastation they were witnessing, The Kreig pirates scrambled wherever they were. Those who had managed to survive the ships detonation on larger pieces of scrap wood attempted to hide themselves, others on smaller pieces on in the water already tried going under which worked for about 10 seconds before they remembered they couldn't breath water. Some even tried to climb onto the Baratie but were viciously kicked away by the staff.

Krieg himself had said he had a hundred hungry men on his ship.

No one could see more than fifty.

"How could this a happened" Said Patty without a breath in his voice "The ship may a been done fer but it didn't look like it was gonna break in two like that."

"It wasn't" Said Zeff while moving through the crowd towards the front "It didn't break. The weapons on board might have detonated and finished the job but that galleon was split in two."

"S-split!" Cried Carne cowering behind the swordsman. "As in cut? How is that possible?"

The elder man looked through a cloud of smoke coming from one of the few pieces left dry, a figure becoming more visible by the second through it "Why don't ya ask the one who did it?" He pointed at the shape in the smoke.

His form appeared in the black mist like the vampire of legend. His long black and crimson staying completely still despite the breeze that pushed his coffin shaped boat forward. A black wide brimmed feathered hat obscuring everything above his nose showing facial hair styled so sharply that you could cut yourself on his pointed goatee which lightly brushed against his bare chest adorned by only a small cross. Light rhythmic breathing showing he was currently asleep while the massive the black sword with the crucifix shaped guard as wide as the blade was long kept him sitting straight.

The Krieg pirates sweated bullets as the man drifted towards them, and that was before he woke and lifted his head. Then 'Everyone' bar who you would expect not to hit the brown note.

There are a lot of ways to describe these kind of eyes and I mean 'lot'. 'Hawk eyes' was far from Juracule Mihawks only epitaph, just his most widely used one. They're were about 30 different ones based on his eyes alone. Hawk eye Mihawk, demon eye Mihawk, Juracule of the all seeing eye were the most popular. It was just the way the man looked at you with his sharp yellows with their perpetually shrunken iris's bored into your mind. Searching every part of you until their owner knew everything about you at a glance. Robbing you of your very soul

"Him!" Patty said in a seemingly confused voice, if only to hide the sheer terror he was experiencing "How could one man sink 49 ships all on his lonesome. That ship ain't big enough to carry a weapon that could do that."

Zeff pointed at the religiously themed blade "His special weapon is strapped to his back."

"A sword! How could a blasted swordsman just cut up an armada!"

Zeff crossed his arms "Your only thinking of him as an ordinary human being. That man is one of the biggest sharks in the in the most dangerous ocean. He is Juracule Mihawk! The greatest swordsman alive!"

One man aboard the wreckage was apparently immune to the all consuming powers of Mihawk's gaze. Whether this was because he was to stupid to be scared or that he didn't have a soul to begin with wasn't all that clear but it made this nameless grunt stand up and address the deadly man.

"DAMN YOU! YOU SADISTIC MONSTER! IT WAS BAD ENOUGH YOU START KILLING US FOR NO REASON! BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW US ALL THE WAY HERE!"

The swordsman tilted his head and looked over. Clearly mulling over what he should say and if he should really bother answering. Ultimately decided he should he gave his answer.

"Because you woke me up."

Not the best excuse for mass genocide, or at least that's what the grunt that looked kind of like Yasopp thought when he pulled out both pistols and discharged him at the man.

***CLANG*** ***THUNK***

Weapons fell from slack fingers and mouths fell open from slack jaws. In the time it took the bullets to travel the merest distance between point A and B Mihawk had taken out his massive sword an moved it into the path of the oncoming fire, but instead of blocking it with the flat or even slashing forward and cutting them like other less skilled masters would he swept his sword from left to right, catching the shots with the tip the sword he gently nudged the speeding metal to the right and the other shot to the left. Making both of them drastically veer of course from their intended target. Instead imbedding themselves in someone else reducing the crew by two more.

The shooter blinked, stared at his guns then back at the man who was re-sheathing his weapon.

"What the hell? How could you miss! He's not even 20 yards away for crying out loud!" Growled another faceless drone.

"He didn't miss." Answered Zoro who had miraculously appeared behind Krieg's pirates. "It's just that Hawk eye was able to make your rounds change course with his sword." He ignored the gun totting grunts rude request for his name "It's hard enough to deflect a bullet, but to actually control it's path...I've never seen such subtle skill before."

Mihawk heard every word and was impressed by the young mans own keen eyes. "Without subtlety a sword is little more than an iron bar."

Zoro couldn't help the Luffy class idiotic grin that sprouted on his face. "Your everything your reputation says you are. The greatest swordsman who ever lived"

"A useless title but fitting none the less." Agreed 'Black blade Mihawk'. "I can tell by the grin on your face that your more than just impressed by my skill boy. What is it you want?"

Zoros grin widened further. He took several big steps back and unsheathed Wado "Your title. You look bored so whats say we have a match!"

It was like a guppy challenging a sea king, not something you see everyday and were rendered speechless when it did. Both of these men were fear warriors in their own right. Zoro's three swords had just now alerted the pirates as to who he was making them dive off for the next largest bit of wreckage. While 'Mountain cleaver' Mihawk made even Luffy calm down to watch the impending fight.

"LUFFY!" Yelled his sniper behind him. The passenger boat drifting away from the Baratie while everyone else was occupied "We don't have time for this! If we don't leave right now Nami's going to be out of sight!"

Luffy heard him just fine. He just didn't care.

Mihawk stared up at Zoro from his seated position, never moving a muscle as his boat eerily drew closer. Docking against what used to be Krieg's deck without any effort from it's owner and remaining completely still despite having to rope or anchor to secure it's position.

"Weak." Juracule said. Stepping out of his boat and standing about 20 feet from his 'opponent. "It goes without saying that your the mosquito who dares to challenge the elephant here. I can easily tell that you know I am much stronger than you, yet you insist on fighting me. Do you have some sort of hidden power? Or are you really just that ignorant?"

Zoro grunted and put his sword in his mouth, still completely understandable despite this. "Neither. I know I have no chance against you right now. But my ambition is to beat you. I made this as a promise to a friend. And I refuse to back out of it!"

"Admirable...if suicidal." He uncrossed his arms.

* * *

Nami stood aboard the deck of 'her' ship. Smiling an impossible smile that showed both happiness and immense grief.

"I'm sorry." She whispered out towards the direction of those she betrayed "I'm so sorry."

* * *

The world seemed to stand still just as the two combatants did. The waters grew still, Birds overhead landed to watch the oncoming battle along with everyone else. Pirate, cook, passenger it didn't matter. To see 'three' sword' Zoro and 'crusader' Juracule was a once in a lifetime event.

Zoro stood at the ready. All three of his weapons unsheathed. Opposite him Mihawk still stood with his arms at his sides.

"Well?" Zoro said a little impatiently. "Bring out your sword already!"

Mihawk sighed a little "If you insist." He pulled out his weapon, but instead of reaching for his back, he reached for the cross around his neck and tugged at it pulling out a knife not even 5 inches long.

You could imagine how Zoro must have felt "Are you kidding!"

"Hardly. I'm not someone who uses a cannon to hunt rabbits. Which is exactly what you are child. You may very well be the strongest swordsmen of the east. But being the greatest 'anything' of the east is a pitiful fallacy of a reputation."

Zoro glared as Mihawk continued his verbal beat down. "Of all the oceans the red line and grand line divides this world into the east blue is the absolute weakest. That armored dolt over their learned that the hard way." He looked over at Kreig who involuntarily shuddered under Mihawk's gaze despite the man being so far he could hardly make out the mans face.

"I'm sorry to say that this is my smallest knife. If you do well enough I may have to upgrade to a butter knife."

"You sure are cocky FOR A MAN THATS ABOUT TO DIE!"

Zoro leapt at his opponent. His swords angled to lop the dandy mans head clean from his shoulders.

"ONI...GGIIRRII!"

He swung at him with fierce enough to carve through rock.. Victory in one blow.

***CLANG***

The vibrations ran up his arms and through his aching mouth and down towards his boots. He had put as much strength as he had, enough to smash through granite into that attack. Yet all it took 'Island splitter' Mihawk to stop it was a pocket knife held between his thumb, his index and his ring finger.

The teen swordsman groaned while trying with all his might to push forward, but as hard as he tried he couldn't budge an inch under the seemingly non existent effort of Juracule Mihawk.

'I can't move. I knew I couldn't win. But our difference can't be this vast!'

"NO WAY!" He jumped back from the knife wielder only to jump right back, arms swinging.

He swung as fast as he could, as unpredictably as he could. Not even he was all that sure which way he was attacking half the time. His arms were reduced to blurs and his blades to flashes of reflected sunlight. But for all his skill he was shocked to see Mihawk keeping pace with him, and considering that he was swinging three weapons almost past the visible spectrum while the plume hatted man was keeping pace with only one. A new epitaph sprung to his mind for him.

'God speed' Mihawk.

'I won't accept it! I won't accept sure complete defeat!' His thoughts turned to the past. Memories of a beautiful girl with unsurpassed skill filling his mind. Promises to each other that were dashed before they destroyed before they could be fulfilled, and another being born from grief that not even this monster before him could break.

Mihawk parried strike after strike with all the skill it took a boy to swat a fly. More intrigued by Zoro's expression than Wado coming within inches of puncturing his famous eyes.

"What is it that drives you? What makes you pick a fight you know you can't win?" His knife flashed forward with even greater speed, the flat catching Zoro in the face with a force that sent him hurtling back into what used to be Kreig's cabin wall.

Luffy had to grab the back of Yosaku and Johnny's coat and threw them to the floor. This was Zoro's goal and no one had the right to interfere.

He coughed harshly, a glob of blood spewing out and staining his white shirt. He pulled both swords behind the left side of his back and crouched.

Mohawk raised his trinket again. "Boy don't be foolish..."

"TIGER...!"

"Pathetic."

"...HUNT!"

***SKLITCH!***

…...

…...

…...What? What was everyone looking at? Zoro wondered why everyone watching the fight was suddenly looking at him like something horrible had just happened. He'd taken down Mihawk of course, how else could he have attacked the man without taking a hit.

Did he avoid a hit? It certainly didn't feel like he was hurt. In fact he'd never felt better. He felt rather cool despite the noon sun beating down on him. Even shivering a little.

Mihawk looked good too. Boy for a guy who'd just taken a crippling blow he looked completely unharmed. But that was impossible. Zoro had attacked him and came out of it uninjured so that means Hawk eyes had lost.

Boy it was really getting cold...

The guy was saying something, but it was really hard to hear him. Ah no matter he could make it out well enough.

'Step back before I gut you?' Why would he...

The world started moving again, and Zoro knew pain.

He wanted to cry out. To drop the sword in his mouth to bellow his mouth and wretch the dagger from his chest. He wanted so much to jut drop onto the deck, to return to the lucid dream he had just came from.

The thing is though when you want to do everything you end up doing 'nothing'. So he just stood there like an idiot with 4 and a half inch's of steel in between his ribs.

"I...can't back down." He said with blood pouring out of his mouth in little streams. "I promised to be the best. If I back down, even...even against you my dreams will die."

Mihawk agreed "That 'is' defeat."

"Heh...I'll never accept that."

"I have a blade mere inch's from your heart weakling. I could easily end your life instead."

"Then do it. I'd prefer death to defeat."

"!"

He almost dropped in relief when the cross knife was pulled from his insides.

'Devil slayer' Mihawk clipped his knife back in place and reached for his back. "Boy tell me your name."

"Roronoa Zoro." He relied. Holding his three swords in a clockwise windmill stance.

"A strong name. It's been a long time since I met someone of your level with such brazen courage." He lifted his true weapon from his back. Letting Zoro and the rest of those assembled see Kokutou Yoru. The strongest sword in the world.

As long as he was tall and with a blade that pulled in as much light as the straw hat captain himself. The greatest of the supreme grade swords.

"As a reward I will let you face this sword and an instant of my true skill."

Zoro grinned and began pulled his hands together, he started exchanging his weapons between his hands, faster and faster in a circular pattern until the rapid spinning made them look like a buzzsaw. Wind started blowing from them like an industrial strength fan, distortions in the air visible for all to see.

"Santoryu hidden technique..."

Mihawk drew back "One shouldn't call out their attack names." Then charged straight at the younger man. Zoro did the same.

"...THREE THOUSAND WORLDS..."

"Die!"

"...REVISED!

The met.

They broke.

He lost.

Zoro looked at the handles which had once been his two other weapons. nameless blades he'd picked up from somewhere he really didn't care about remembering, but still made of steel which Juracule hadn't just cut through, but utterly shattered.

He knew he wouldn't win, but this was the last straw needed to make it really sink in.

No use avoiding the inevitable.

He stood back up and turned around, his arms as far apart as possible.

'Warlord' Mihawk was puzzled for one of the few rare occasions in his life. "What are you doing?"

Zoro still smiled "A man doesn't take a cowards wound, especially not a swordsman."

Not even 'stone face' Mihawk could hold back his own s*&t eating grin "Magnificent!"

***SKLITCH***

Blood followed in the winds that the sword generated. Spraying as far as a half mile away from the body it used to circulate when the worlds greatest swordsman cut him from shoulder to hip.

He hung for a moment before falling back and crashing into the sea.

"BROTHER!" His old comrades dived in after him in the hopes they wouldn't be too late. Luffy on the other hand dived for someone else.

"WORMHOLE!"

Forget the sword fight. What really shocked everyone there was when inky black smoke poured out of the chore boy. Speeding towards Juracule Mihawk like an arrow.

Just before contact the darkness bulged slightly and a pale fist exploded from it aimed for the mustachioed mans face. A blow which the worlds greatest swordsman avoided with ease.

Luffy wasn't done. Thick black smoke poured of his body and headed at Mihawk in a wave that blocked the horizon and blotted out the sun. An attack so massive that no one could ever hope to dodge it.

That didn't stop Mihawk from cutting through it.

Darkness, intangible and unstoppable tore like cheap cloth when the black blade passed through it, like the sword was eating it.

That didn't last long, it was like cutting a river. It kept coming at him without losing pace, every slash only serving to multiply to black tendrils racing towards him, pushing him further and further back. Never growing closer or further than a few inch's away from hitting him

"Impressive. I certainly didn't expect a logia user here." Commented Mihawk while cutting away at at blackness trying to swallow his left leg. "Of course you fight like almost every other logia user I've ever encountered. Hoping to overwhelm me with sheer force." Those words were rendered mot when Luffy once more burst from the black shroud with a hay maker that Mihawk barely avoided. This boy and his crew mate were just full of surprises.

"If your worried about your swordsman..." He said making the boy stop his next charge "You need not worry. I made sure not to kill him. I despise weakness but I despise wasted talent even more."

Yosaku pulled his sworn brother from the drink. Checking his chest and was relived on so many levels that his chest continued to rise and fall steadily. That smiling face was all Luffy needed to see to know that his swordsman was alright."

"Hear me Roronoa Zoro! Now is not your time to die!" Mihawk shouted out, totally destroying any quiet mystery he might have had. "You have only started your journey. Discover yourself! Discover your power and live...!"

"LIVE TO SURPASS ME!"

He turned back to Luffy. "With a crewman of such ambition I imagine you share such lofty goals."

With a rare serious (anger doesn't count) look he nodded back "I'm going to be pirate king!"

He smirked sending yet more spine tingling "Indeed. To find those who still dream at this late in the golden age is rare indeed." With a flutter of his coat he turned back to return to his boat, leaving a puzzled captain wondering what he meant, he didn't have long to wonder though since Usopp's ear and brain piercing cry broke his eardrum.

"LUFFY! HE'S ALIVE!"

Barely breathing, missing seven tenths of his blood and has a cut deep enough to kill a giant but none the less alive. Functioning even as shown when he lifted wado high into the air.

"MIHAWK!"

The man listened intently.

"From now until we face each other again! No matter how long it takes! Until I become the greatest swordsman alive! I WILL 'NEVER' LOSE AGAIN!"

"That okay with you 'oh pirate king'?"

"Kishishi Not at all."

Mihawk put his sword back in place. It wasn't every day that one from the demon sea was surprised in the east blue of all places.

"Today was a good day. I hope straw hat that we cross paths again some day."

***BAN**G* ***BA-BANG-BANG***

Several bullets headed straight at the man. All of which were avoided in a blur.

Krieg sneered and pressed a plate of his Armour, reloading all his hidden barrels.

"Damn. You really are a cut above the rest." The armada leader said with a voice that made it sound like he'd already won. "Whats the matter 'pigeon eyes'? Didn't you want to take my head and collect my reward?"

'Hawk eyes' stared at the man. Making said man quake a little on the inside when he felt a hole burning through his skull.

"If I'd wanted small change I could find any number of weaklings closer to home with bounty's far exceeding yours. This chase was just for amusement. And now I am satisfied I'll take my leave."

"Weakling! I'll show you a weakling! DIE!"

All his barrels fired. Krief was apparently a very slow learner.

Juracule agreed. He pulled out Kokatu Yoru again and cut down on the waterfront. Creating a massive colloum of water that blocked everything from view and forcing both Krieg and Luffy to find new footing. When it subsided 'Warlord' Juracule Mihawk was nowhere to be seen.

The surge the eruption created Usopp's boat carrying the bounty hunters active and former was carried further out against the passengers will.

"Luffy help!" The coward called back. His captain once more vanishing in black smoke only to reappear back on Baratie.

"Usopp set sail! I'll catch up when I repay my debt!"

Needle nose wouldn't have argued even if he didn't already agree with him. He just told him to be quick about it and sailed off after the traitor.

Luffy turned his attention from his retreating crew back to Krieg who was dragging himself onto yet another decent sized piece of wreckage that had somehow not sunk yet. He looked back towards the cooks, half of whom were missing due to Zeff instructing them to help the remaining guests flee out back on their boats. They were standing their ground well enough but the boy could see the fear they had at risking their lives.

It wasn't hard for even him to put two and to together...if the answer was fish.

Okay I kid.

"Hey old man!" He addressed mega stache man. "If I take out these guys can you call of our debt?"

The chef huffed "Call it off? Kid you take care of these guys I'll call it off, give you Sanji for your crew and give you a lifetimes pass to eat here for free!"

Three, two, one...

"YAMI YAMI ABSORBTION!"

The tidal wave of darkness sprung once more from the boy. Branching off in every which way one of the men who had seconds before about to attack the resterant on fear of death were trying to escape. Some were swallowed by the great mass while those being chased by the smaller branching tendrils were grabbed by the pencil thin lines which then flowered to consume them and mute their shrieks of terror.

If they're was anything more important to Luffy than the words 'pirate king' it was 'free food'.

Krieg watched in abject horror at the sight of his crew being picked off one by one by some devil freak!

The arrogant man in Kresge demanded he fight this boy to prove he was the strongest in the east, but the smart man in him realised he'd have to do something or else he'd be pulled into that creeping darkness like his men were. He was down to 25 already!

The bullets some were firing were consumed as instantly as they were, and Mihawk's sword must be something else because all slashing at it did for normal humans was get them pulled in quicker.

He could barely make out the boy clinging to the Baratie. His head moving about parallel to the next man being pulled in. So the kid has to be able to see what he's doing huh? Not good when your power blots out everything.

Now he just has to...

He blacked out before the next thought entered his head.

* * *

"Well...that was incredibly easy."

20 seconds. That's how long it took Luffy to absorb the entire remnant of Kriegs armada. Just 20 seconds.

The boy smiled wide. He'd definitely managed to recover 'most' of his strength after his burnout on Usopp's island. Now to just get Sanji and..."Why are you all staring at me like that."

Everyone, even Gin who he'd grabbed and dragged onto the deck was giving him a death glare. Making him feel mere inch's tall.

"Do it right." Said Patty slowly.

"What?"

Carne answered this time "Krieg, and that big shiny guy who looked strong. Spit them out and fight for real."

"...Again what?"

Zeff stepped forward. "You can't just end the fight in half a minute. That cheats everyone whose been waiting all this time ta see a royal smack down between you and Krieg, a chance for Sanji to prove how strong he is, and to give Gin a reason to question why he's loyal to that mutton chopped idiot!"

"...Do I have to?"

***GLARE***

"*Sigh* RELEASE!"

The two aforementioned men were spat out of the smock like Bullets. Skipping on the waters surface one or twice before crashing nearby.

He cracked his knuckles loudly and popped his neck. "Well looks like I have to do this the hard way.

* * *

Kreig gasped for air. Clutching his armored chest and staring at the wreckage he was floating on.

'What was that place! A massive world full of nothing except those blubbering infants that used to be my crew!'

His armor was totaled. The nigh impenetrable wootz steel had been crushed like a tin can, pressing tightly against his broad chest and making it 'very' hard for him to breath. Though not hard at all for someone with superhuman strength to simply rip off.

He peeled the steel from himself and in a decisive move flung it as hard as he could at the straw hat boy, who immediately jumped out of the way just as the speeding metal demolished the section where he'd been standing a moment ago.

Krieg wasn't out of ammo though. His bracers, barrels, anything he could grab was thrown at the boy. Forcing cooks to scatter and thanks to Kriegs quick wit forcing Luffy to make a final leap onto yet another small floating piece of debris which for whatever reason hadn't yet sank. Just as Kreig intended.

"Lets see how strong you are at the bottom of the sea!." He bellowed and with a mighty roar grabbed onto a large piece of protruding mast, ripping it from where it was bolted and launched it like a spear.

Luffy jumped again, his leg strength more than enough to manage such small distances. However that left the wooden pole to rocket towards the Bartie with enough mass and force behind it to demolish a good part of the ship.

"ITS GONNA SCUTTLE THE SHIP!" Screamed Patty taking a dive out of the way along with the rest.

"Sanji!"

***KRACK***

Red leg Zeff wasn't just known for being a great cook. In his prime he was known for being able to take anything down with a sweep of his legs. Desperation had claimed that which he was feared for, but fate had delivered him something in exchange. A boy who not only had a passion for food, but a chance for Zeff to pass on his style so that it would not die.

The result was bout as good as you expected.

The mast splintered under the tip of Sanji's shoe. The speeding log cracking at the middle since the tip was now trying to veer of in a direction that the rest of it didn't want to go in. Cracks ran up the entire length of the wood until the entire mast fragment was turned into wood chips raining about the Baratie crew like brown rain. Causing several splinters in the saucer sized eyes and wide open mouths but otherwise fine.

Luffy whistled. Now he 'really' wanted this guy on his crew.

* * *

Sanji landed back on deck with feline grace. Not a hair out of place or a flake of ash fallen from his death stick.

"I didn't think pirate fought by just throwing things!" He commented a little too loudly.

No one was really that mused though. Especially since most were sporting large amounts of pointy timber on their tongues.

"TTHHANTHI!" The burly armed fry cook grabbed his lapels while glaring a hole through him. Carne held his spoon close to his neck.

"THI AH ONNA THILL OH!" Carne growled past his wooden tongue.

"Shut up!" A voice voice said right before the two were sent careening into the side of the boat.

A third man climbed up on deck, snapping and scrapping against everything with the massive shield covering his entire body. The smaller shields strapped to his knees, elbows and shins bumping against things with every step.

"If this is our new ship then we'll definitely need to do something about the room." The man said, towering over the downed Sanji. "So you think your pretty strong huh? Lets see how hard you can kick when your up against PEARL the invincible wall!"

Sanji really didn't consider this guy to much of a threat, especially with that goofy bulbous helmet he had on, but Zeff was a good judge for this sort of thing so that meant he was probably strong.

"Your breaking the ship." He dragged the cigarette down to the tip in one breath. Before launching at Pearl with one leg extended right for his face.

* * *

***THOOM***

Another water spout erupted, yet more wood sent beneath the drink with every clash between the super strong combatants.

Ordinarily Krieg wouldn't be caught dead in a fist fight unless he was out of weapons. However his attempts to take this brat down with his pauldren/ hidden stake machine gun had failed miserably when they were sucked into that evil place the boy sent him to. Though from what he'd seen he seemed to restrain himself when he looked ready to pull him back in.

With that in mind Krieg decided to use his indestructible diamond fists to beat the boy into a bloody smear. Never expecting him to be able to match him in raw strength.

He was right.

Well almost right. Krieg was just barely stronger than Luffy in pure physical power, and though the don was big he was by no means slower, for every 1 rib cracking blow the newbie slammed into him he got in one or two bone jarring hits of his own.

Luffy ducked under a clumsy swing from the man not used to straight up brawling and launched himself into his stomach, forcing the air out of his stomach. Catching himself in a handstand he pushed up and rapped his legs around the older mans neck, squeezing in a powerful sleeper hold that would snap a thinner mans neck while simultaneously Hammering his free fist into Kreig's stomach again..

Krieg coughed up blood and what little air he had left in him. He could see black dots forming quickly in his eyes, but not quick enough to stop his sending both armored rows of knuckles into Luffys unprotected sides while he still had his fist in his gut.

"AGH!" Luffy screamed , his weakness to pain increasing the already crippling blows effect and forcing him to unlock his legs. Krieg immediately grabbed his right leg with both hands and started whipping him around.

"Time to learn to SWIM!" He flung the boy out into the sea.

* * *

Back on Baratie is was barely any better for Sanji. Pearls shields were far to smooth and well polished to get anything short of an all out direct hit on without his kicks sliding off. He couldn't even build a stronger attack which took precious seconds that his opponent wasn't willing to give him. He'd been forced to led the battle inside the restaurant which was now devoid of customers.

"Told you." The eternally boastful Pearl said to the panting cook. "60 plus battles without a single scratch. You can kick til your legs break but I'll still be standing when everything's over."

The cook groaned and stood back up "I hate guys like you."

"What? You mean stronger, better looking and completely invincible?"

"No. Fat, stupid and big headed."

"FAT! I'll crush you with a fist like polished silver!" The man thrust a huge pearl covered shield at Sanji. Who evaded it despite it's surprising speed.

"That it?" His leg lashed out to strike at Pearls unguarded side only to be blocked.

"Can't hit me!" Pearl backhanded at Sanji who narrowly dodged again by diving to the floor and sweeping Pearl's feet out from under him. The man fell to earth with a heavy thud.

"Neither can you. You might be strong but that stupid shield makes you about as graceful as rampaging bull." His leg swung high above his head before crashing down on Pearls face with a *WHA-DOOM*, sending a shock wave through the hard wood floor.

He lifted his foot, noting with some disdain that he had a few spots of red on his shoes. He wasn't particularly fond of Zeffs old nickname and hated to get anything on his shoes.

He grabbed the turtle man by his oversized guard and started to pull him out of the restaurant, until a hand gripped his ankle.

"Who needs grace."

***KLANG!***

* * *

Krieg stared after the diminishing form of Luffy carefully. Reaching for his shoulder gun again he pulled to a canister and attached it to the guns nozzle. Pointing it right at the boy until he actually saw him go in the sea. Grinning wickedly when he saw a splash.

"That kids done for. Those who eat the devil fruit are completely helpless underwater. He turned about face and aimed his weapon at the Baratie. Causing Gin to stand up in horror.

"DON KRIEG DON'T! YOU DON'T NEED TO KILL THEM!"

Krieg smirked "I know." He called back. "Just as long as they agree to serve me as my new crew I'll spare all your lives!"

The cooks were frozen in place. Not one of them stupid enough to believe that the pirate wouldn't fire if they dared try and escape.

"Good. Now Gin. Break that old failures peg so he doesn't try anything."

Warily Gin did as he was asked. The old man didn't put up any fight, he just went to his knees. Staring at the pirate when he snapped the wood.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm a pirate, I follow my captains orders."

Zeff still stared "So was I. But unlike your precious Don my men didn't follow me because they were afraid I'd kill em"

"SHUT UP!" He pulled out a...weird looking double barreled shotgun and jammed it against Zeffs head. Much to Krieg's amusement.

"HA HA HA Well done Gin. As expected from my first mate!"

***KLANG***

"HA! And just as expected from my second mate! Nice work Pearl!"

Pearl walked out of the restaurant. Sanji's head in his right hand dragging the rest of him along. He tossed Sanji against the guard railing were he wretched violently when his back hit the hard wood. He fell to his knees. He tried standing up until Krieg's voice rang out again.

"Gin! If that blonde nitwit even as much as moves I want you to blow Zeff's head off!"

"Don?"

"DON'T QUESTION ME GIN! "

The pirate looked back down at the former one, who was still looking up at him. It made him feel like a little boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Pearl had no such feelings of guilt. He sneered and came further out the restaurant, banging his shields together causing a sinister yet somehow pleasant ringing. He stood over Sanji, who had taken not moving under threat of his mentors death to heart.

"You heard him blondie move and Gin will blow the old mans head off." He sneered. Looming over Sanji and loudly cracking his joints.

The cook, panting harshly looked over at Gin and Zeff. The former staring at him with eyes fully open. He looked over to the cooks who were all far too frightened to do anything.

"Go ahead."

***KLANG***

***KLANG***

***KLANG***

***KLANG***

It was violence on a level that few ever saw in this world. They're was no flash, no spectacular names for what he was doing, he wasn't performing some crazy extravagant maneuver. Pearl was beating him pure and simple. The oversized dandy pulled his fist back and decked him as hard as he could. Grinding his shield into the cooks jaw before slowly pulling it back and bringing it forward again. He had a grin like he'd drank Joker juice, taking joy in every blow that caused further and further turned his weapon into a bloody mess.

***KLANG***

Nobody dared move. The sight in front of them rendering their legs like jelly. Even Gin felt the gun in his hand go limp before tightening his grip.

"Pearl...that's enough." He whispered. Only to be ignored by the overzealous pirate who continued his brutalizing.

It continued for who cares how long. An ominous ringing and the occasional gull on board the mast were the only sounds made by anyone. Until Krieg raised a hand.

"Alright Pearl that's enough! No point beating a corpse."

Pearl didn't look like he agreed but complied anyway, standing up and moving away from the bloody mess, and much to his shock so did Sanji.

The bloodied blonde reached for his tobacco tin again, the case slipping out of his fingers and spilling the contents everywhere.

"Damn. That was the last of it too." He flung the papers away seeing no point in them anymore. He looked over in his mentors direction. Pearl and Gin looking like they hardly expected him to get back up.

"You call that a beating? Crap cook over their calls it a love tap."

Pearl grit his teeth in anger. "PEARL SYMBOLS!"

The two shields came crashing into either side of his head. He was grateful that he was so thick skulled because it felt like if he was any less so then his head would pop like souffle.

"Sanji!"Gin once more almost dropped his gun and rushed to his saviors aid, but a glare from his idol made him remember himself. "What's the matter? Krieg's word is law ain't it?"

Gin didn't ever bother to respond.

Sanji fell to his knees, gasping for life but did not pass out. He got back to his feet, coughing violently. "Now were up to 'Patty's' love taps. Good for you."

"Sanji why aren't you fighting back?" Growled Zeff much to Gins shock. "Just tear this bozo a new one and get this stupid ordeal over with!"

He shook his bloody head "Can't do that old man. I fight back and Gin blows your head off."

"SO! I'm an old man you stupid eggplant! Your not even 20 yet. Do the math!"

"I CAN'T DO THAT!" Sanji yelled. "This way I can repay you for everything you gave up for me. You've already given up too much. I won't take anything else!."

* * *

Insert Sanji's tale of starvation here,

Oh and for those saying that I should include right now consider this, would you really be reading fanfiction right now if you'd never read the manga?

* * *

"You gave up your leg for me, You gave up your reputation for me! HOW COULD I ASK YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR DAMN LIFE FOR ME!"

"Haven't I taken enough?"

Patty, Carne and the rest of the cooks were silent. For once in their entire career aboard the Baratie they were looking at the younger man with awe and respect. They had no idea of just how much Chef and his apprentice went through.

'I'd always thought he'd lost it in a fight. Zeff must really care about that crap head ta eat his own leg so Sanji could have the food.'

Kreig found the whole thing hilarious. He'd once looked up to Zeff as a grand line survivor, and it was in his home waters were he'd lost almost everything.

Gin was finding it harder and harder to keep Zeff pinned, even though the old man made no movement to escape his hold. He'd never heard of anything so selfless.

Pearl was completely uninterested in story's that weren't about how handsome he was. He kneed Sanji in his gut forcing his to collapse again, he looked over to his captain to get permission to just end this. "Don! Can I just kill him now! Captain? Captain? Whats wrong?"

Where seconds ago he was grinning wickedly he was now clearly sweating even from the distance they were apart Pearl could still clearly see the man was worried about something. He turned to Gin to ask what his hero was so worried about when he saw the shorter guy was just as scared.

Was it him? Well maybe for Gin, he always did think he deserved to be first mate instead. The Don though was just confusing as hell. Why would the strongest pirate in the East be scared of his second mate?

Wait. What was that taste? Funny, kind of coppery. Were his lips wet with something?

He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand to see what it was, and froze.

"B..bu...bu...bu...bu...bu...bu..."

"Pearl! Keep calm it's only a little nosebleed!" Krieg shouted in vain.

"Yeah your not in the jungle anymore! You don't need to..."

"BLOOD! MY BLOOD! DANGER! DANGER!" The hulking man who moments ago was calm and dandy was historical. Backing away from Sanji back into the dining hall. Banging his shields together hard and fast.

"Crap! Gin leave that failure and get Pearl out of there!" Kreig ordered.

His first mate did as commanded (eager to leave the withering glare of Zeff) He grabbed onto the frantic pirates side and with considerable strength dragged him outside and tossed him overboard, landing next to the don.

"DANGER! DANGER!"

"NOT HERE! GIN YOU FU...!"

"DDAANNGEERR!"

***FFWWOOSSHH***

Pearl wasn't just banging his weapons together for no reason. You see despite his well groomed appearance, comprehensive understanding of the spoken word and love of valuable objects such as his namesake he grew up in an environment which didn't teach him about any of those things, the jungle. Lost on a tropical island when he was but a lad Pearl was forced to raise himself in the harsh and unforgiving topical woods. Facing the fiercest predators and coming close to starvation near a hundred times. Such an upbringing would turn any man into a battle hardened jungle god, but not Pearl. No through all the trails and tribulation he clung to his cowardice, rather than man up and face his fears head on he developed another considerably more idiotic method to keep them away.

Setting himself on fire.

It wasn't long after that he learned it would be less painful with shields.

He lit up like a birthday cake, the eruption of flame causing Krieg to involuntarily step back and fall right off the boards he was standing on less he lose his eyebrow privileges.

"Uh Dammit Pearl." He grumbled Loudly. He grabbed onto the the wood again to climb back up, only to slip when he found himself being pulled down.

'What the?' He lifted himself up harder. For as hard as he pushed up the very ocean seemed to be pulling him down. Even his super human strength was giving under the increasing pressure on his feet and the desire not to have his legs torn off.

He wasn't the only one effected mind you. The water as far as anyone could see was becoming choppier and the currents stronger. The Baratie started rocking more and more, the ship that had already seen it's fair share of shaking today was already starting to feel the stress. The timbers groaning and giving way slightly. The jetsam that should have long since sunk finally got the message and went down to the locker. Leaving only three larger pieces still full of air to hold them up.

"Grr...ragh! I will..not...GO...UNDER!" He grunted before lifting up his leg and with herculean effort planted his foot up. Followed by another, then drew himself up to his full height.

"Ah hah!"

The boards under his feet gave way a second later. It went unnoticed by everyone except himself of course since Pearl had decided to start lobbing flaming pearls at the ship they wanted.

Kreig struggled against an ever strengthening current, but it was futile. He could only be drawn closer and closer the forming whirlpool, and almost forgot to hold his breath when he saw a massive sphere of darkness at the epicenter.

* * *

You can't really think very well when your skimming across the surface of the sea at about a hundred miles an hour. Especially not someone who can't say thinking is a specialty of his. Heck he couldn't even tell the blue of the sky to the blue of the sea until his fingers brushed the water, and by then it was to late

He knew he had to act fast before he was submerged enough for the curse to take effect. His power flared off him in all directions, shooting out of every pore and coating him completely just before he was pulled under.

Little known fact. If the water isn't actually touching the devil fruit user then it doesn't turn against them. The sea in every which direction of Luffy was rapidly being pulled into his dark dimension. Below and above were draining towards him in a 'screw you' to physics. Inadvertently creating a whirlpool that grew faster than the costs of a movie starring Johnny Depp.

His smoke continued to stretch out. Reaching out every which way headless to the literal thousands of galleons of liquid was being pulled into it in a desperate attempt to find any indicator of which way 'up' was. Luffy had managed to seal himself into a small pocket of air inside the black cocoon. Everything that his darkness swallowed was released in front of him so he could tell which direction he should 'wormhole' out. He could see clearly by the way since it would be pretty stupid for someone like him to not be able to see in the dark

A fish

Fish

Fish

Fish

Fish. Who'd have thought the sea had so many fish?

Fish

Fish

Don Krieg.

Fish

Fish...oh right.

* * *

"PROTECT THE SHIP!"

"WE CAN'T. THEYRES TOO MANY!"

"WHY IS IT HARD TO PUT OUT A FIRE WHEN WERE SURROUNDED BY WATER!"

The cooks scattered about the ship. Trying desperately to put out the blue flames that now covered the Baratie,courtesy of the human flame thrower not far away.

Gin had abandoned his position over Zeff to try and help. The Don wanted the ship and it wouldn't do any good if it was burned down.

"FIRE PEARLS!"

"Patty heads up!"

"I got it!" The man yelled. Holding out his fork in a guard position in the path of the flaming sphere. He was driven back a few feet but succeeded in catching it before it caused another fire to sprout up.

"Phew that was close."

He Gin and Carne were among the few who could actually catch them all. With Gin still calling out in vain for Pearl to stop lobbing flaming namesakes at them, but the man was far to frantic and desperate to keep Sanji away from him too notice or even care.

Sanji danced around the man, the flame having only increased the field of his defense, their was no way he could get anywhere close to his unguarded areas without trying to kick him in the face again for all the good it did last time. He needed to stop him now or Zeff's dream will be turned to cinders.

***BLOOSH***

A huge mass shot out of the water. Heading straight for pearl with the speed of cannon fire. Right before impact Sanji dove out of the way and a smaller mass broke off the larger one. It slammed right into pearls flaming back. Sending the turtle lurching forward, the protrusion dead center of his torso shield smashed right through the drifting wood causing water to start gushing through it and putting out the strangely beautiful flame.

Kreg clambered off his second mate. Growling fiercely and ripping off his now ruined spiked cape. Yet another weapon from his arsenal ruined because of that upstart.

"Pearl GET UP!" He hoisted the man back to his feet.

"Eh? Don Kreig. Whats going on?"

"I don't have TIME for your stupid fire black outs Pearl! Just help me kill these guys!" Kreig was seething by now. One by one his advantages were slowly being stripped away, but he had a few left. He picked up his discarded shoulder pad / stake launcher and refitted another poison gas canister to the gun. The can looked a little stressed from his time in the void but was otherwise undamaged. He re-aimed it at the Baratie and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"IF YOU SO MUCH AS MOVE I'LL KILL EVERY LAST F&^KING BLAGGARD ON THAT SHIP!" He used his other hand to jab his thumb in their direction for Pearl who took a few seconds to determine what he was supposed to do. He hopped back into the water and over to Sanji and Luffy. Once again towering over the two.

The cooks were both horrified and fed up. Who uses the same tactic twice in a row?

"AND IF YOU EVEN TRY TO USE THAT SMOKE S%$T THEN GIN IS GONNA BLOW A HOLE THROUGH YOUR BELOVED MASTERS HEAD!"

Luffy looked at him. Calm eyes met angry ones. Both scanning each other, searching the others very essence for the answer to one question. Would they really go through with it, and what both of the fighters found in a stunning realization, that the answer, was yes.

Krieg stared at him for a second before turning to face the Baratie "Fine. I can always get more crewmen."

"Gin! Blow Zeff's head off!"

Mere days before 'Demon crusher' Gin would not have hesitated to do whatever his master said at a moments notice. Men, women, children he'd killed them all at a snap of Kreig's fingers. Feelings of guilt or remorse were foreign concepts to the old Gin, for no one had ever given him the same courtesy a single day in his life. Now though he wasn't even sure if he could as much as kill a fish, and damned if he didn't hate that.

"DO IT NOW GIN!"

"I..."

"WORMHOLE!"

In an instant the Straw hatted boy and his soon to be cook were back on the ship, unintentionally dragging along Pearl who had grabbed Luffy by the shirt before he telephoned.

"PEARL!"

Getting over his confusion far quicker than most Pearl charged the two along the narrow deck. Shields banging together loudly. Sanji and Luffy braced for impact.

***KLA-CK!***

The pearl bell rang out one last time, then imploded.

The indestructible shield that Pearl was so proud of was smashed into a hundred tiny pieces. Crumbling like some sort of delicious baked treat that had been left in a glass of milk. The force of the attack that had destroyed it tore through Pearls blubbery torso and along his slim by comparison limbs, damaging every last part of him in one precision blow. He collapsed to his knees, staring back at the traitor who did this to him.

"Sorry Pearl. But if anyone's killing Sanji it's me." Gin said calmly. Twirling the tonfa handled melon hammers with practiced skill.

He turned back to Sanji just as Pearl collapsed. The hammer ends now resting on his elbows while he took a stance.

"You saved us Sanji. I owe you for that. I had hoped that you'd have the sense to leave when you had the chance like the guests."

He un-shouldered his tonfa. Whirling them about so the hammer ends pointed at his saviour.

He smiled "But since you didn't, The least I could do is kill you myself."

Sanji nodded and uttered an unconvincing thanks. He craned his neck over to Patty "Release the fins."

Patty, who hadn't said anything in a while blinked before the request filtered into his brain. He ran inside the Baratie, which seconds later started to shake and expand.

On either side of the massive fish Fins sprouted. Large wooden platforms the size of a local theaters stage (you know, bigger than a high school stage but not as big as a Broadway stage).

"What the?" Gasped Gin. As if this boat wasn't weird enough looking. He looked back at his soon to be opponent for an explanation.

Sanji shrugged "Customers got sick of us fighting inside, so we had these built." He walked out onto the extended deck. Motioning for Gin to follow. Everyone was locked onto the two, including Krieg who while refusing to let his guard down always enjoyed watching his second demolish people.

"Make it quick Gin. I'm getting very impatient."

Gin was Kreigs biggest fan. So he obeyed without hesitation.

He charged Sanji driving one of his hammers into the fin hard enough to smash through it and just as quickly pushed up, sending splintered wood hurtling at the cook. It was easily enough dodged by him but was immediately greeted by a surprise swipe to his neck by the tonfa, pulling him to hit the floor hard. The sound of wind whipping filled his ears from Gin twirling his other weapon while sitting next to him.

"I was expecting a bigger challenge Sanji. This didn't even make my top 40." He grinned in a manner that made his so called hero seem tame.

"Just kill me you ungrateful ass."

The hammer swung down. Sanji's leg swung up. Gins head swung left along with the rest of him.

The cook didn't give him time to breath. Still in a handstand his two legs blur at Gin scoring two blows to his chest and already weak stomach sending him spinning. Gin reacted by catching himself in mid spin and lashing out. A loud crack was heard when he got Sanji square in the back at the same time the cook scored a third hit across the jaw.

Groaning both got back up. Gin licked the blood on his lips and grinned. Now this was a fight!

Sanji thought otherwise "If your first mate then the crew must be a joke."

His opponent nodded "I agree, but you can't be doing much better if your down to insults."

Sanji didn't reply...well he did, but you can hardly call the funny creaking noises and loud popping sounds a reply.

"Looks like all I need is one more hit to put you down. DIE SANJI!"

Once more in a manner that gets very boring to repeat over and over and over and over and over again, he charged the man who saved his life, swiping at Sanji you effortlessly cartwheeled out of the way far to easily. A little to easily for his liking.

'He missed on purpose?' He didn't really care to think as to why Gin would miss. If he did he would have realised that as battered as both men were from their fights both of them were on their last legs. Not only that but their own actions only helped to aggravate their conditions, like a runner competing in a race with a bad ankle or a gymnast with a gangrenous arm. Each strike they aimed did just as much damage as each one they took.

If he knew all that then he would have stopped himself from delivering the mother of all knee drops into the hard wood deck.

He literally exploded in pain. Veins ruptured and muscles tore in a dozen different places, and of course they're was the oh so predictable coughing up blood.

Gin walked over to him, casually nudging him making the cook fall onto his back gasping. Gin put one knee on his sternum and held his neck in his hand. His tonfa over his head.

"I win Sanji." He said, not at all sounding triumphant.

"HA HA HA! YES GIN! KILL HIM! TURN HIS HEAD TO PASTE! NOW!"

Gin complied. Clenching the handle of his weapon tightly, but avoiding Sanji horrified look as he realised his dream was done for.

"STOP HESITATING. KILL HHIIMM!"

What was wrong? He'd never felt this way before. All those people he'd killed in the past he did it without hesitation, staring into their terrified eyes as he did so. So why couldn't he lower his Tonfa now? Why couldn't he met this mans eyes? He'd splattered kids heads open like melons and smiled about it, but the one who kicked his ass was the one that got his conscience going.

'Because he saved your life.'

So what? Don Krieg was his idol. His hero! Everything he'd ever done was for this great man to achieve his grand dream!

'That 'great man' who killed off more of his own crew than any enemy ever has just for questioning him.'

That...didn't matter. He owed Krieg for everything.

'Such as?'

Power! Respect! Fame!

'Power you had long before Kreig recruited you, The fear of your crew is not respect. Fame? You mean that wanted poster that makes it impossible to met anyone but the scum and low lives you've been surrounded by since?

…...

'This man gave you food when others let you starve. He knew what you would do and still saved your life!'

…...

'Well?'

"GIN! I SAID KILL HIM!" Screamed the armada leader, red in the face with rage. "KILL HIM OR I'LL DO IT AND TAKE YOU ALONG WITH HIM!"

"...NO!"

Kreig blinked. He stuck his pinky in his ear and flicked out whatever was on it "What did you say." He said with deadly evenness.

Gin stood up. Not breaking eye contact with the man gave his answer "I SAID I QUIT!" He threw his Tonfa down hard on the deck were they emitted a loud thunk.

The armada must have an amazing dental plan because the Don didn't even seem to care when his teeth started cracking from gritting them so hard. "GIN DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOUR TALKING TO? I AM DON KRIEG! CAPTAIN OF..."

"Of what!" The former first mate bit back. "In case you didn't notice 'Don' Kreig, your entire 5000 strong, no! Your 5000 WEAK crew is gone! Your only surviving member is bleeding at my feet. Those 50 ships your so proud of are at the bottom of the sea. YOUR CAPTAIN OF NOTHING!"

"Wrong...dead...wrong." The shield gun trembled in the imposing mans grip. The canister attached to the barrel aiming dead center for the three who DARED defy him."I...am DON KRIEG!" He wanted nothing more than to drop the thing and grip his head to ease the headache that was building but didn't. Blood poured from his head from wounds that opened up from the blood racing through his veins.

"I am the...most POWerful man in the entire East Blue. I can EASILY get more men! I can get a hundred, A THOUSAND SHIP if I pleased! I am the man who will conquer the grand line! I WILL BE PIRATE KING!"

"But you Gin...your story ends here along with these brats." He sneered and pulled the trigger.

The poison gas Bomb, the MH5 rocketed towards them. The Baratie cook running as far away from what they were sure would be a devastating explosion.

Gin grabbed onto Sanji and Luffy to jump into the water only to find himself wrenching his shoulder and being pulled backwards by the youngest boy.

Luffy didn't know what was in that grenade and honestly do you really think he would care? Like all D's he rushed into danger and only worried about consequences when he was dead. He tore from Gins grip and flung his fist out. A wall of darkness speeding out towards the deadly bomb.

The former Don snarled "No you don't!" He ripped off a stake from the useless reel and flung it with pin point accuracy at the MH5.

***BOOM***

The canister exploded in a massive purple cloud, sending it's fatal toxins in every direction. Well every direction the powers of the yami yami no mi didn't catch it first. The fatal smoke was almost completely devoured by the boy save for a few wisps which still managed float on the winds around the dark and into his lungs. He feel to his knees almost instantly hacking and coughing up life fluid.

"Luffy!" Sanji was at the boys side with Gin hovering over the two with a not happy look.

"This ain't good. That gas is special made to deal with a lot of people at once, even a single breath can kill a man an ordinary man in a few seconds."

"*Hack* Then it's a g-good thing ***wheeze*** I'm n-n-ot ordi-nary." The boy who wasn't lucky enough to be Impel downs chief warden at the moment managed to sputter out. Groaning as he managed to push himself to his feet and stand as steadily as a drunkard.

'This kid is harder to kill than a roach. Damn him for making me do this!' With the flick of a switch his gun retracted and became a shield again, grabbing the other one of his shoulder he cupped the two together. A pole that didn't have any signs of being collapsible shot out from the bottom at the same time a short but razor sharp blade sprang from the top. He clutched the pole and swept his new toy out in front of him "Lets see you stop this when you can barely stand!"

He took two steps before literally launching himself at the trio. Oddly shaped spear swinging down on them looking like it would crush them than slash.

Luffy, who still felt like his brain was being soaked in rum raised his hand to catch the weapon, but found himself being pushed to the side with his new cook by a very worried Gin.

***BOOM***

He didn't fling them far enough before they were all caught in a massive explosion, the shock wave of the blast flinging them from their positions crashing into the side of Baratie while Luffy who had broken away from the two hit the guard rails before peeling off into the sea.

"LUFFY!" Sanji pulled himself free and dived for the boy before he sank under the sea. Tugging him from the drink and up onto the fin again. Or rather what was left of it since Krieg's explosive stunt had demolished almost all of it.

Sitting out a mouthful of sea water Luffy spoke, completely forgetting to thank Sanji for saving his life. "What the heck was that?"

Sanji though panting heavily still managed to shrug "Dunno. Maybe those shields were full of dyNamite?"

"Really? Awesome! I want one!" Adrenilin pumping through his veins in sheer excitment as he drooled over the idea of swinging an exploding spear, NO an axe! A big double bladed axe twice as wide as him and just as long. Giant bomb axe! Yeah!" (10)

"Close." Gin explained while cradling a now useless arm. "He had it made in north blue by some brainiacs. Not even he knows how it works but it lets loose an explosion every time it hits something without any explosives at all. And the harder he swings the bigger the boom."

Sanji 'Mmmm'd "So we just have to av..."

"I WANT IT!" Before two words could be strung together the youngest of the three surged forward. Hopping over the 'new' wreckage with feline grace, Heading right for his opponent with arms out stetched like a child rushing to grab for the present his father was holding.

Krieg was only to happy to oblige. He hefted his spear up and brought it crashing back down on Luffy's head.

***BOOM***

Kreig dodged back. Realizing that detonating the ground beneath you may not have been all that smart. He landed back on the ship and surveyed his handiwork. Aside from the cook and the traitor that pest had finally been killed, not even a bubble floated to the surface.

He hoisted his giant lollipop onto his shoulder and grinned. Hiding the fact that he was exhausted beyond belief.

'Who'd have thought such a rookie could give me that much of a workout? Ah well I...'

Something was wrong. He felt...off somehow. He did have quite a few injury's, but he'd already compensated for them. Somewhat woozy from blood loss but he'd be lying if he said he'd had worth.

He checked his gauntlets, seeing if they were loose. The right one was fine so he shifted his spear to it so he could check his left. Wait was it supposed to be this heavy?

He looked up the length and let out a strangled sound of shock. No way!

The boy. The hairless chattering monkey was holding onto his mighty battle spear like a barnacle despite only just being poisoned. His legs twisted around the pole and his hands grasping at the shields.

"Can I have this?" He said eagerly. His eyes shining like stars at the thought of having such a cool weapon.

"LET GO!" He started swinging it about madly trying to get Luffy away from him. He went to smash the body against the deck again when he stopped. The boat he had taken refuge on would be no good if he destroyed it.

"I just want the cool part. You can keep the pole." He heaved on the cupped shields and with one mighty twist snapped the bomb, blade and half a foot of wood off the end of the now pole arm. Rendering it useless and Kreig speechless.

"MY SPEAR! Do you have the slightest idea how many island I had to pillage to get the money for that!" The don screamed at Luffy. Who was to busy admiring his latest acquisition to listen to the raging man.

"Sooooo cool." He examined the weapon with admiring eyes. A little alteration to the Jolly roger and a bladed edge and say hello to Luffy's new weapon.

"GIVE! ME! THAT!"

"Hey Sanji catch!" He tossed it over his shoulder towards the cook. Who in a moment of confusion actually found himself raising his hands and catching the disc. He stared down at it for a few seconds, examining it closely before looking at Gin who had dived back into the sea. After a few more moments his brain caught up with him and he fumbled with it. Letting it drop onto the deck while he joined Gin, just as the weapon made contact with the wood.

***bang***

The force from the insignificant fall only supplied enough power to make it jump a few inches in the air and fall back to earth. The former fin beneath it barely scorched.

Kreig stared at his pride and joy. Useless for the remainder of the fight. He only had one option left.

He hated only having one option.

He sighed deeply and cracked his armored knuckles. "Fine. You want a brawl? I'll give you a brawl! And this time I'll make sure you won't have time to use your powers."

Luffy stared back over to Zeff with hopeful eyes. Only to have the older man shake his head.

LuffyHe sighed in irritation then turned back to his enemy grinning, also popping his finger joints. "I can't go 'all out'. But that doesn't mean I haven't been going easy on you as well."

Kreig cocked an eyebrow "Easy?"

The yami boys smile became a little cocky. Paper thin tendril of blackness creeped out over him clinging tighter to his skin than spandex. "Yami yami release."

The wriggling darkness evaporated in an instant, But not a soul or a sliver that he had absorbed recently appeared like they normally would from that command. The only indication that something had happened was the future pirate kings ever growing smile.

"Why are you grinning." Kreig demanded while he ran/ jumped towards his enemy. Making one final leap towards Luffys own perch with one invincible fist pulled back.

Luffy didn't answer. He just vanished.

No one, Kreig, Sanji, Gin or the now returned cooks had any idea were he went. They didn't have time too since he almost immediately reappeared in front of the pirate captain. Fist already buried in a now mush like stomach. Faster than anyone could completely follow he kicked him in the stomach and pushed off so he would not fall into the dreaded water like the older man.

While his staff were in awe at what just happened Zeff was only impressed 'That's damn impressive speed.'

The pirate leader pulled himself onto Luffy's platform. Standing up and towering over him. Idly noting that the punch didn't hurt anywhere near as much as the last ones did. His brow twitching like crazy while the boy just kept smiling and holding up his arms like a boxer. Jabbing at the air faster than he could follow.

"I don't know what you did. But a weak little punch like that won't stop me." He slammed his fist down on were Luffy had been standing, just in time to feel a foot crash into the side of his head and then another on top. Kreig made to swing for him only to get a knee to the middle of his back.

Luffy danced around the massive man. Scoring countless blows that although quick weren't nearly as powerful as before. Though he was still doing better than Krieg who had yet to even touch him.

"You like it..." He said while jabbing Kreoi under the chin.

"...I control gravity..." Blew his knees out from under him.

"...By making my own gravity stronger I can hit harder than anyone..." Pearl symbols without the symbols.

"...and it's double good training for my muscles. So when I turn it off I'm a super speedster!" A blur of motion and he was back in front of the downed armada leader.

"But I like being heavier better. It stopped people from pulling me away from the dinner table, and it lets me take guys out with one good punch!" He brought his hands together again. "Yami yami weights!"

Darkness bubbled around him once more, creeping over him like ivy, especially around his arms and legs before seeming to fade back into him like one of those old fading transition scenes leaving only the faintest markings on him that looked more like a slight tan.

The wood underneath him cracked under the weight that suddenly appeared on it. He cocked grabbed onto Kreig's hair and pulled his head back. The man unable to pull back as it felt like he had a two ton weight braided in his scalp.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M DON KRIEG! KING OF THE EAST BLUE!" His right fist shot at Luffys chest ready to cave it in, only to have it caught easily. He cried out in pain when the boy closed his grip, buckling his hands inside the metal and the diamond started crushing his bones.

"Big deal. I'm gonna be king of the whole DAMN WORLD!" He threw Krieg's shattered fist to one side and pulled his own back. The tan markings growing darker and thicker around his fingers until it was solid black "Yami Weights times 50..."

"...ECLIPSE PUNCH!"

The fist connected with Don Kreig's jaw.

***...I use way to many sound effects. Oh and WHA-DOOM!***

Kreigs jaw split in half under the strain of the tremendous blow right before it shot skyward, pulling the rest of him along with it. He flew off like a rocket, tearing through Baratie's main sail without losing momentum until he was little more than a twinkling speck in the distance.

Luffy stared after the dot. Looking around he saw everyone else was doing the same.

"That was some fight." He said cheerfully.

Right before collapsing on the spot.

What? You thought I was just gonna forget he was poisened

* * *

"You sure you want me coming along with you guys?"

"Do you think you could get him to let you leave now even if you wanted?"

After punching the fallen pirate into the horizon it was pretty clear to Zeff and the rest of his crew that the chore boy had definitely earned his freedom. They'd been planning to let him go anyway, the way he was in the kitchen they'd all be dead in a week and Zeff really didn't want to give him time to take up the other part of the agreement.

Sanji originally hadn't wanted to come. Scratch that he was ready to kick out the teeth of everyone who came near him. In the end though it had taken the combined efforts of the cooks to convince the boy to go and follow his dream instead of living for his masters. After he joined the straw hats Gin followed immediately. Which was a big help considering all the 'other' crew members he'd acquired weren't really listening to him.

"You all ready to chase after Nami!"

"..."

"Gin."

"ARE YOU MAGGOTS READY TO CHASE AFTER YOUR CAPTAINS NAVIGATOR!"

"YES BATTLE COMMANDER GIN!" The remaining former Krieg pirates cried out.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"YES BATTLE COMMANDER GIN SIR!"

The sickly looking man smiled and turned back to his new captain "Yeah they're ready alright."

Luffy nodded and looked out over the boat that along with two others some careless but apparently very well off customers had abandoned in the confusion

'I don't know why you left Nami. But I won't have anyone else for my navigator."

* * *

She looked out over the expansive sea. A tiny pimple of a land mass blemishing the otherwise unspoiled view, but to Nami the island was the most beautiful thing in the world.

She sighed dreamily "I'm home."

* * *

A boat sailed through the calm belt. Moving ever forward despite the lack of wind and totally uninterrupted by it's denizens. The lone man sailing in this boat sat quietly, running a thumb over the bleeding wound on his cheek. (11)

"I definitely look forward to hearing more about your crew Roronoa Zoro."

* * *

End Chapter

* * *

**Omake**

Mihawk walked down the corridors of his spacious and drafty castle. The humandrills screeching could be heard from the remains of the town below as they dealt with the latest intruder to their home.

He pushed against massive double doors to enter the room that was his destination. Closing them behind him tightly so he would not be disturbed by those who aren't there.

Scanning his bedroom with his all encompassing eyes he searched for even the slightest hint that someone else was there. Finding nothing he breathed deeply in relief. Removing his coat he hung it up on an old dresser mannequin he'd found elsewhere in the castle, his hat following close behind. His sword was removed from his back and placed on hooks upon his wall before he walked over to the dresser and sat down.

His eyes shifted from right to left, it still felt like he was being watched. Yet if he couldn't see it then it wasn't there.

He pulled his eyelids wide with one hand, then used the other to grasp at his eyeball/ Pulling a clear disc away.

"Gfh."

His head snapped around towards the source of the noise, an empty corner of his room. He stared at it for seven seconds before turning back and removing his 'other' contact lense. Placing the two yellow pieces of glass in a bowl of solution for the next day.

"And no one will ever no but me." He said to himself. "Isn't that right Absolom."

The invisible animal faced man through the doors open and ran down the halls as fast as he could. The worlds greatest swordsman close behind him.

He'd be going back to Moria empty handed, and to Hogback for a few 'necessary replacements'

* * *

**Next Time in 'Logia Luffy- Yami edition': **With a massive surge in his crew numbers Luffy definitely feels ready to take on the ultimate ocean. He just has to go collect the rest of his crew first including his traitor navigator. Will the thief return to the legends in the making? Or has the shark sunk it's teeth to far in for her to get away?

* * *

. (1) It's true. The cook was in charge of making sure that the food lasted as long as possible for any voyage

(2) A man who wears a pink pinstripe might as well be yelling 'LOOK AT ME!'

(3) I wanted something more original than 'Chef drop'

(4) I'd like to think that as mayor Woop slap was the only one that needed to be concerned about the outside world, especially since all the paper boys are birds with small bags.

(5) Some restaurants provide have dishes that take so long to cook that customers have to pre-order them before they even arrive. Most likely by mail or if they have one a den den mushi

(6) Translated from french as 'Blow of clod'. Clod being beef taken from the cattle shoulder. It is known to be the cheapest cut of beef, just like Zeffs attack was a cheap move.

(7) I was thinking about fudge when I wrote this. Lots and lots of fudge!

(8) Say waah Bobobo! Say waah Bobobo! Say Bobobo! Say waah get get wild! Get up! Stand up!

(9) Literally translated as 'Prawn and or shrimp dumpling'

(10) Too many words? Must. Write. Less!"Thinking of Buso Renkin at the time were another gravity wielder has an axe.

(11) Three thousand worlds 'Revised' remember?

Sorry about the end by the way. I've just been working on this forever and I wanted it out so I could start work on my next chapter before all the original elements I have lined up starting with it end up in on the cutting room floor.

Now to explain Luffys powers. Today Luffy displayed the ability too control his 'own' gravitational field. Allowing him to become lighter or heavier on a whim. Unlike in this chapter were it had to be introduced in future he will be able to do this without saying or doing anything outside of willing it. Though I did add the tan and vine things just to make it look more impressive.

Luffy still does have his own super strength like Garp. However by increasing his gravity he multiplies his weight making him harder to move, and the force of his attacks that much stronger since more weight is behind them. This also doubles as a DBZ-esque kind of training, as though he were constantly wearing weights that his muscles have to work against. When released he gains the complete benefits of his training but loses the extra weight that makes his punches so much stronger.

The eclipse punch is a technique were his gravity field is especially strong in his hand. The higher it is the darker that body part he's focusing on becomes. It is known as the eclipse punch because it's solid black and blocks out everything else as it fills up your field of vision to meet your face. Originally I called it the B.F.P but decided against it.

Again I didn't want Luffy to be just 'I absorb you and win'. That kind of victory is reserved in fights against mook level pirates and antagonists. It's not all that fun to watch as Zeff was kind enough to point out.

As for the underwater scene. I went through like fifty ideas before I decided on this one. Not the best but it was more plausible than the others. Oh and don't ask about how Luffy knew which direction Krieg came from so he knew which way to go. Lets just say he was lucky and leave it at that.

Like it? Hate it? Too many references to non One piece things? Tell me what you think. All negative criticism must be constructive.

Til next time.


	8. Chapter 8: Species

**Logia Luffy: Yami edition**

Disclaimer: If I owned this series I'd be Scrooge Mc'ducking a big pile of money right now.

* * *

Chapter 8: A matter of species

_Humanity is quite a unique species, since it is the only one with the means to wipe itself out_. - Ramman Kenoun

* * *

He would love to say that he had never been in a situation like this before, but he'd be lying.

Saw tooth Arlong was quite undeniably the strongest known pirate in east ocean. That is the strongest that actually bothered to do his pirating here instead of buggering off to the grand line like every other suicidal fool. It had been child's play for him to reap the spoils of this sea even with the pathetic marine presence.

Rivals? What rivals! The only thing left from his last clash with another pirate was a bleach white toothpick that he used to clean the rest of the idiot from his mouth.

The marines? Grease a few palms and you have yourself yourself a brightly dressed mook ready to cut his own throat for paper. He was unmatched here.

Anywhere else was a different story.

He was weak. His ego wouldn't let him admit it outright but compared to Jinbei or the great Fisher Tiger he was nothing. Unable and unwilling to learn the time consuming practices of fish man karate, he earned notoriety by being as immoral and cruel as not exactly humanly possible.

Not wanting to risk any challengers elsewhere he turned towards the world governments 'shining example of peace.' where the former runt of proverbial school was able to run rampant unopposed.

That is until a few hours ago when he'd had his scaly ass handed to him by a boy not even a month out to sea yet. Then when he thought he'd gotten away from that monster he found himself in the situation he was in. Feeling just as bad as he did under Jinbei.

The fingers pressing against the sides of his head felt as though they could poke through his skull like meringue. Every last ounce of his incredible strength had abandoned him and he couldn't muster the energy to swat the filthy human holding him away. His bored brown eyes staring down Arlong's ugly yellow ones.

"So from the beginning if you'd be so kind."

He wanted to snarl, to rip the humans face off, To stick his hand down the red heads throat and tear out his intestines to choke him with. He wanted to commit so many sadistic acts of mutilation that it would make Hostel look like the Care bears. He wanted to do all these things, but could do nothing but humor the men and regale him with his life before it had been locked in an iron grip.

"It started when my 'Navigator' returned from her last voyage..."

* * *

**For the sake of all of us I'm not going to call this a flashback, because the entire chapter is a flashback.**

* * *

"Lord Arlong. Nami has returned from her expedition." a sickly yellow man thing said in a voice like he was trying to speak through a mouthful of pudding, somehow sounding nothing but utterly respectful to the abomination he was addressing.

Saw tooth Arlong was by far more menacing than any other fishman on his crew...granted he was also the least ridiculous looking once you got past the pointy nose, but he was also bigger and definitely much stronger than his 'men'. The razor sharp teeth didn't hurt either, unless you were human, then they hurt a lot.

He gestured for them to allow her entry, leaning back in his thrown and grinning sinisterly when the human knelled before him.

"Nami!" He said jovially "You were gone for quite some time! I trust the trip was 'profitable?"

Another advantage of being a fishman that other species scarily realized was how powerful the senses of some sub species were. Most wouldn't have noticed the minute flinch she made at his question.

She nodded "Yeah it was. Fooling a few men is all too easy."

"Some men." Her captain corrected her. Looking over her disgusting human form with disdain, and smacking the guy seated next to him across the back of the head for leering.

"I kept the loot on the boat. It isn't much but they weren't exactly long time sailors." She raised her arms above her head and let out a deep yawn. Arlong's hand flashed out several more times at his less xenophobic men.

"If were all done here lord Arlong can I go. A girl needs her beauty rest, right boys?" She winked at a manta man who had to fight a blush that would get his head put through the floor if the needle nosed shark saw it.

He grunted and waved towards the park exit, which the girl took instantly closing the gate behind her.

He snorted, stupid human honestly thought she was smarter than him. Oh well, he'd learn her soon enough.

Just like he was going to learn his men now.

"LORD ARLONG NOOOOO!"

* * *

Elsewhere while Arlong was schooling his crew about humans, Gin was schooling his captain on fishmen just as painfully.

"I'm telling you kid this is nothing short of suicidal. No one, not even the Don has ever got within a mile of the fishman pirates island base." Gin said slowly and clearly. He had a nagging headache that he dearly hoped was the result of a breath of poison, at least then he'd know it would eventually stop.

Luffy wasn't listening of course. He was too busy stuffing his face with what little Sanji was able to cook with the rations they had gotten. Not that he'd be any better at listening if he wasn't cramming crab cakes down his throat.

The other crew members however knew exactly what they were in for. More than half of their unwilling initiates had turned tail and ran, or rather swam for it. Rather braving the dangers of the sea than what was to come. The few brave ones who remained were actually those who hadn't been smart enough to evade Gin's eyes.

"Whats the ***smack* **big deal? I though Krieg was ***hack*** the big boss round here." The human black hole said flippantly between bites.

"Hrrmmm. Nooooo. I said he was strongest 'active' pirate In this sea. Arlong came here from the grand line to the island were headed to a decade ago and hasn't been seen since. The fishmen take down every ship that gets to close."

"If you didn't get close then how do you know it was fishmen? Maybe it's just sea kings in the area." Said Sanji.

"Do sea kings drag boat with them?"

"Occasionally."

"Above the water while screaming 'Another victory for lord Arlong, lets see what booty on this wreck!' loud enough to be heard from miles around?"

"...OK you win."

"So they're tough." Luffy said around the fingers he was licking clean.

"YES!" He shouted. He took a deep breath and gave it one more try. "Fishmen are like zoan type devil fruit users, stronger, faster and more powerful than any one man could ever hope to be without any of the weaknesses a fruit brings. Not to mention Their leader Arlong was said to have been kicked out of his old crew when his captain Jinbei became a Shinichibukai because he was to dangerous and bigoted against humans to keep around."

"A shi-whichi what now?" Asked Sanji stupidly.

"Oh, you mean the seven privateers that work for the marines?" Sanji and Gin eyeballed him strangely but decided not to say anything. Trying to figure out if their captain was smart or stupid was probably a bigger task than finding the fabled treasure of Gold Roger.

Sanji spoke up first "So why would Nami be going to this Arlong island if he didn't like people."

Gin shrugged before flinching at the painful series of pops and cracking noises that went up and down his back. "No idea. All I know is that she there along with your boat, money and four other crew members."

"Right! So we go to Arlong island. Fry up some fish men and get our navigator back!"

"Lu..." Sanji shook his head side to side very slowly. Gin put his head back into his hands.

"Hey Sanji look. I drew a fishman." The dark teen held up a picture like a four year old's magnus opam.

Sanji laughed hysterically, but not because of the drawing.

* * *

It had been rather a simple plan, when Yosaku had told them that the traitorous navigator was heading to an island ruled by a fishman he knew flexing their power at them would only get them sent to the bottom of the sea. It was a good thing that he was a genius then, it was also good that the ship had quite a bit of spare rope lying about.

They'd tied up Zoro (which they would never have been able to do if he wasn't almost half dead at the moment.) and sailed towards the island. Ussop had heard all about the swordsman's escapades before meeting him so he was bound to be considered a threat and danger to even the paradise natives, hopefully he could use this to barter his way onto the island and have a look around.

One of those things had a tattoo of a man with his head sitting at his feet with a large red x crossed over him.

He sailed right past the docks and with the strength of cowardice dragged the anchor he had just weighed back up. Unfortunately the fishmen followed after them. Even after he, Johnny and Yosaku abandoned the crippled warrior they still followed. Through the sea, up the shore, through a bizarre upside down town until he was met with a very near sighted child.

"DON''T TOUCH THAT FISHMAN!" A feminine hand whacked the boy overhead making him lose grip on the shipped sword he had been holding. She knelt down and consoled him just as tears stared pooling in his eyes. Giving Ussop a good look (or gawk) at her.

She looked nothing like her. She had purple hair in a slightly different style, a tan and muscles on her arm showing she worked outside, a very pretty face, was a few inches taller and a bit more 'developed' than his quarry. So why did he get the same vibe of her that he did from Nami?

"Look closely Chabo." She pointed up at Ussop with a bewildered look. "He may have a freakishly long nose like Arlong..."

"FREAKISH!"

"...But beyond that he's human...maybe."

"MAYBE!"

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RUNT!" The angry yell reminded Ussop that he had a well fed flounder chasing after him. His coward instinct told him to run, but his newly forming 'warrior' instinct ran up to coward, kicked it in the nuts and heat butted it out cold.

He grabbed a blue/ grey pellet from one of his ammo stashes and pulled back his slingshot.

"I won't let you trample these innocent people! Die you son of a..."

He didn't get to finish as an all consuming pain erupted in the back of his skull. Sending him to the ground unconscious.

* * *

The rhythmic throbbing in his skill was like an inbuilt alarm clock telling him to get up. Pulling himself into a siting position he realized he was laying on top of a rather worn matters in the corner of a rather worn house. The furniture looked sturdy but aged, like whoever owned had didn't take much care of it very well. The curtains only had a few holes in it, and as he stepped on the floor the boards creaked like in those old haunted houses.

"Good your awake." A familiar female voice spoke. The woman sat down at the table along with the boy from before. Fruit salad and orange juice for three sat on it which reminded him that mortal terror always left him a tad hungry.

"Sorry if this doesn't fill you up, but it's all we can get." The girl said not without a hint of bitterness.

He smiled reassuringly and dug in, idly rubbing his still aching skull.

"You did a pretty stupid thing attacking a fishman like that." She said. The smile melting from her face into a condescending smirk.

Her words jogged his short term memory. "Hey that's right! Why the heck did you hit me. Don't you realize I was trying to protect you!"

She snorted "You look like you could barely protect yourself let alone me and Chabo..." She pointed to the boy, and before Ussop could sputter two words she continued "...Besides if you as much as tried to fight him we all would have been dead."

"That's your opinion. I think that the great captain Ussop could manage an overfed flounder like that guy."

"I wasn't talking about him."

At the confused look she explained.

* * *

Meanwhile...and no I'm not moving away just because I'm lazy. It's three in the god damn morning and someone close by religiously believes their stereo only has one setting.

"I'm looking for a woman. Red hair, carrying a staff, eyes shaped like beli signs when she gets near anything over a million. You seen her?"

Arlong wasn't known for his love of humans, but it was akin to a dog person not being fond of cats. He at least tolerated them until they did something to provoke him. The dead make no stones and all that metaphorical crap. Yet he'd never met a human who he'd wanted to kill bo badly and in so short a time after meeting them.

Zoro sat in front of the island ruler, tied up the best someone with 6 arms can. The human addressed him casually and without the slightest hint of fear on his face, as though he were talking to an equal rather than his born superior.

He took a deep breath and regarded the swordsman with a sneer. "Don't talk to your betters so casually human."

The other fishmen gathered paled when the moss headed teen snorted. "A tuna breathed half fish like you my better? Yeah right."

Rather than rampage as he was so prone to doing Arlong's sneer became a 'very' toothy grin. He cracked the knuckles on his right hand loudly enough to make his comrades wince slightly and held up a single digit. "Once, I'll let that slide once. But call me or any of us half fish again and I'll hang you from the top of the park by your guts!"

"What? I only said it because I thought you wouldn't like to be reminded that your also half hu..." He was cut off when a webbed hand wrapped itself around his throat.

"WE ARE NOT HALF HUMAN!" He roared in the swordless swordsman's face, slowly tightening his grip. "Our superior evolution has left we fishmen as distantly related to humans as geckos are related to dragons!" He put a second hand around the throat when the human didn't start gasping and turning red. "We are in every way your betters. We are the chosen race to dominate this world! To fight us is to fight the very will of the GODS!"

"It never ceases to amaze me how much more full of yourself you get each time I return Arlong."

The shark let his kill go. Dropping him like a sack of potatoes and turned to face the person exiting the building, letting Zoro secretly gasp for air without ruining his image.

"Your different Nami. Your map making skills outshine even the greatest of our homlands scholars."

He could 'feel' her roll her eyes in her mind. "Maybe if they bothered to include the land details instead of just mapping the sea they'd do better." She walked past him and bent down to met eye to eye with her former crew mate. "Your even dumber than I gave you credit for. What kind of nimrod sails to an island with a marine warning on it?"

Her lords interest piqued "You know this human?"

He replied in the negative "Just another perv I pouted and sniffled out of his money." She winked in the direction of the manta hybrid again, whose immediate reaction was to belt himself in the face as hard as he could before Arlong saw the blush.

"HA HA HA Nami you really are something else. Playing with a mans heart so casually. You really are just a frigid witch woman!"

Her breath hitched for a moment. Something any warrior in training would notice.

He turned his gaze back to Arlong who by now was sitting down again. He briefly contemplated getting a little payback, but guessed there would be nothing 'little' about payback if he got it through them.

"You aren't kidding. First time I saw her I felt dirty. Like she'd kill me the first chance she got. Just my luck I'm a sucker for a nice r..." He sucked the rest of the word back in before her stare killed him.

"You are so lucky that I hate getting blood on me." She said evenly "Now get off this island before I sick one of these goons on you."

Shrug "If you insist."

He crouched and with one spring fell back into Arlong pool, hands still tied to his sides.

She was in motion before the water settled. Before the chatter of bafflement was heard and Arlong's command to let him die filtered through to he brain. Her fingers were half submerged in the water before she thought 'What the hell am I doing?'

She managed to catch him while he sank like a stone in the deceptively deep pool dragging him up to the surface and throwing him up like a garbage bag.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" She said angrily.

"Me? What kind of heartless witch woman save an injured man from drowning?"

She looked around. All her cohorts murmuring to each other suspiciously. Arlong himself steppling his fingers and leaning forward expecting a good answer with a mad glimmer in his eye.

She turned back to Zoro. "The kind that doesn't like to see others injured..."

Arlong's eyes narrowed.

"...Unless she's the one doing it!"

***WHACK***

"AAGGHH!"

He bit into the sides of his cheeks hard enough to draw blood when the staff his biggest hardly healed scar dead on. She grinned maliciously while continuing to increase the pressure, grinding into the wound slowly and methodically. Red seeping through the bandages. She lifted her staff after a few more slow twists and turned back to Arlong who was once more leaning back in his seat.

"You had me worried for a second girl. Wouldn't want to go back to how it was would you?"

She smirked "Forget about it."

"ARLONG! LORD ARLONG!" A fat fish came barreling through the gates to trip at his leaders feet.

"Get up." He said exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry lord Arlong. But the long nosed human escaped me."

"Oh? And how did that happen."

He grabbed the sides of his head "It was incredible. He was as quick on his feet as we are in water. He was gone mere moments after I chased him."

"Did you see what direction he was headed?"

"Uhh Cocoyashi. I think."

Arlong grinned "Perfect. I've got business there today anyway." He stood up. "Oh and comrade."

"Yes lord Arlong."

"You still have some cake on your lips."

He wiped his mouth on his arm leaving a pink trail "Oh. Thank you I...WAIT I CAN EX...!"

***SHUNK***

Arlong addressed his remaining warriors "MOVE OUT TO COCOYASHI!"

The fishmen all at once dived into the water. Moving as blurs the second they did and were half a quarter league out before the humans could take a breath. When all but one was in the water Arlong grabbed him before he could join the rest. "Not you."

The man those lips protruded a good few inches from his face did what one could only imagine was biting them, if his teeth were not back in his skull. "Why?"

He pointed to the mess he made "Clean this up."

"But Arlong I'm not a..."

"Clean it up!" He said more authoritatively "Then tell Hatchan to get started on lunch."

"I want the sushi ready before we get back." He decreed and dived into the pool. Gone before his marksman could say one syllable.

The pucker fish sighed. Staring down at the whimpering body he reached to pick it up, but almost immediacy had a better idea. "Girl tell Hatchan to move this mess. I'm gonna take a long shortcut."

She waved him off "You got it." Letting him leave the park on foot, whistling a gaunty tune that sounds like it's being played on a kazoo.

Sighing she lifted her foot from Zoros face. Reaching to the small of her back and pulling out a small knife to cut his meager bindings "Get up and get out."

"What? I'm n..."

"Listen to me!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently "You have to escape before Arlong comes back alright! If your here were he returns your going to get killed!"

"And where are you headed."

"Home. I'm going home."

* * *

In a quiet little village things were...well quiet. Not a single footstep was heard, the pleasant chatter of people shopping was gone. The wind blew through the trees. Store signs swayed back and forth gently, and if anyone were to listen hard enough they would hear a faint sound barely raising over the wind,

Klak klak klak klak klak klak klak klak.

In the all but deserted streets a lone man sat at a table outside a tavern reading a book. Dressed like a man who didn't own a boat but liked to act like he did with a key difference being the pinwheel he had sprouting out of his skippers cap. Scars criss crossed his body like a jigsaw puzzle, not a very exspensive one, more like one you'd give to a 7 year old to keep them away from video games for a while you try to beat their high scores in the next room. A bushy black soup strainer twitched every now and then when he got to a particularly interesting part.

"Hello...human." A pointy shadow loomed over his page like a serrated book mark telling him it might be time to stop reading.

"Arlong." Cocoyashi village leader Genzo replied dryly. Flipping to the next page.

"I got some...interesting stories about you Patchy." The massive half breed rested his webbed fingers in the space between Genzo's arms. "Stories that say you have a weapon in your house."

"Yep." He tilted his head to keep reading, only to have Arlong other hand turn his head to face him.

"I thought I made myself clear when I let them sew you back together that it's forbidden for you inferior life forms to have weapons. I did make myself clear didn't I?"

His grip slowly tightened on Genzo's skull.

"Man has to eat Arlong. Can't hunt without a gun. Can't gut fish without a knife."

"WEAPONS give people ideas!" He snarled through his razor teeth. "Ideas make a pygmy think he's a giant. But guess what human. Your still just a dwarf!"

"It's just an old hunting sword. It's too dull to cut bread let alone be used in a fight." The old man said tiredly. Right before he was pulled from his seat. The grip on his face had been lowered to a grip round his neck.

'At least the fish smell is a little better.' He thought. If he was gonna die he may as well do it snarking.

"I don't care if it's a toy flintlock that shoots cork! Any human owning a weapon will be seen as a rebel! And you know what I do to rebels Genzo."

Fortunately not all fishmen are known for their extra senses. They never noticed a pair of heads peeking out from behind a nearby house.

"Is he really just going to kill him for owning an old sword." Ussop asked. Hardly believing his ears.

NOJIKO, Nami's sister in all but blood bit her lip but nodded "Trust me Arlong would kill him just for meeting him in the eye. He believes that humans are scum and loves finding excuses to kill us. Unless we make ourselves useful and pay his tribute every month."

"Tribute?"

Nojiko would answer but Arlong's booming voice answered for her.

"All you had to do was follow our rules human. Live your lives, get rid of every gun and blade, and pay us at the end of every month. But no you had to be rebellious didn't you." He squeezed tighter, enjoying the 'popping' sensation as he did.

"You had to die!"

"ARLONG!"

The old man slipped from his grip but was quickly caught as the fishman and his cohorts looked over to the young girl staring them down with fury in her eyes.

Against every survivalist fiber of her being Nojiko came into plain view and much to everyone's shock began to berate them. "You idiot! Where is your precious profit in killing Genzo? For 8 years Cocoyashi village has paid your stupidly high tribute! Even after you prevented any traders from coming, killed any of us who tried to leave, we still managed to pull money out of nowhere to pay you the hundred grand for every adult and fifty for every child! Put Genzo down now!"

Everyone paused when they thought they heard something, like a seagull on helium being strangled.

The fishman captain started speaking again first "So you want him released do you? Alright. But only on one condition. His life...for all of yours!" Curtains shifted and clattering was heard from inside homes when he said that. "If you..." He pointed at Nojiko and swept his arm out "Any of you even think about touching me or any of us. I'll tear down every house and use the wood to make your headstones!" He turned back to his luggage, and as for you. DIE!"

"SURE KILL NOVA GALAXY!" The coward yelled at the top of his lungs, drawing the attention of the hulking fishman he just shot at just in time for him to see the tiny pellet reach him.

"What are you...?"

*BOOM*

*BOOM*

*BOOM BOOM BOOM BA-BOOM KA-BLAM!*

small but extremely powerful explosions than could be tastefully put into the line above covered the pirates form. The force of the combined blast blowing anyone within 10 feet of him onto their asses including the one he was holding. The marksman expression changing from fearful to timid to curious then to smug and finally happy. Just as the explosions reached their apex and the tiger fish man was lit up like a bonfire Ussop was hopping from foot to foot like a prospector who struck rich.

"HAHAHA TAKE THAT YOU FREAKY FISH GUY! THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FACE THE MIGHT OF THE LEGENDARY CAPTAIN USSOP!"

"What kind of a name is Ussop for a legendary pirate?" A voice from the cloud spoke.

Ussop stopped mid happy danced mid crazy prospector and watched with horror as the smoke cleared, revealing a smoke and ash covered and royally pissed fishman. His favorite shirt and anything that didn't hide his decency were burnt off but otherwise he was fine.

Ussop suddenly wasn't feeling so hot anymore.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh."

"TEAR OFF HIS HEAD AND *&%^ IN HIS SKULL!"

"Gottagonicetomeetyoubye!" He was a dot before they even started running.

"AFTER HIM! THAT FILTH DARED GO AGAINST ME! I WANT HIM STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON MY WALL!" With all the ease of uprooting weeds he lifted a house from it's foundations and flung it in Ussop's direction. Not caring in the least for the horrified screams coming from it until two humans threw themselves out of the door parallel with the ground.

The house missed the fleet footed teen by the narrowest of margins and he kept going. It took four other wish men to stop their leader from grabbing another building while he was having one of his 'episodes.' Begging him to not to wreck another village. They'd lost enough tributes as it was.

"I'LL KILL THAT HU-PUMAN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

(Oh like I was really going to go the whole story without mentioning 'pumans'. Seriously how baked was the guy who thought that was a smart thing for the freaky fish guy to say?)

* * *

When you got right down to it. Animals eating members of their own race wasn't that unusual. Birds ate birds. Cats ate cats and dogs ate...well anything they shouldn't really. So it wasn't all that weird to see a fishman fishing. What was weird that he was somehow able to use three poles at the same time and not get them tangled up, even if he did happen to have six arms.

The orangy pink octopus fishman whistled with a mouth like a fleshy trumpet. Happily spending his time in less violent ways than his compatriots. He'd taken his fallen crew mate to his room were the squid applied first aid and let him rest. Arlong was cool with letting fishmen get a second chance if they survived. Then he'd cleaned up the blood which was a synch when you were one of the only members of the male species in the world who could multitask.

Now he just had one more thing to do before he feed the fish. Feed the fish.

He felt a tug on his middle rod. It was a big one. He took two hands from his adjacent rods and grabbed the one tugging one.

"Come...on." He grunted and with a mighty heave pulled the thing up revealing a fish easily as big as he was.

"This will do." He dropped his other rods and held his free hands over his mouth like a trumpet "MOMO LUNCH TIME!"

The fish was really fighting him. Like it knew what was going to happen if it didn't break free.

"MOMO COME AND GET IT!" He called out again.

He had to put his remaining hands on the rod, the pole covered from top to bottom by his fingers. This thing must be part sea king or something to give a former sunny pirate like him trouble.

"Where is that blasted sea cow?"

* * *

"Now. Do you go with white or red wine?" Sanji was in deep contemplation as he paced back and forth over the carcass of the grand line beast. Just moments ago the giant cow headed fish had thought to make the budding armada it's lunch. It managed to capsize one boat before he had caved it's nose ring into it's brain with one solid kick.

"WHO CARES! JUST START COOKIN!" Luffy was banging against the side of his own boat with a knife and fork he'd pulled out of his ass, not literally of course, along with many of his forcibly drafted and recently starved underlings.

Gin however was locked onto the rather large brass nose ring it was sporting. It's size was unimportant, thousands of people had the strength to lug that about easy enough. His concern was whoever was powerful enough to make a semi intelligent sea king wear such a thing without any signs that it had struggled during piercing was probably on the island where they were headed.

"MOMOOOO! MOMOOOO! ***HUFF*** MOOMOOooo!" Hachi was bellowing as loud a mouse, by which I mean not very loud at all, hid voice growing raspy and tired very quickly.

"Where is that blasted fish?"

"Hey I missed one." A voice said from behind him.

The octopus had barely and time to react. With a flash of light the fishman found himself inches away from being takoyaki, his polls clashing with the sword held by a green haired human. It was only because his polls were designed for his species use or he'd have been a goner.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AROUND WITH SWORDS SWINGING! YOU COULD HURT SOMEONE!" He said indignantly.

"Yeah. That's the idea." Zoro responded.

"Oh yeah." Hachi remaining right hit his left palm.

'Is this guy for real.' "So you gonna put up a fight. Or drop like the rest of those assholes I took care of?"

"Assholes?" He jumped out of range of Zoro's blade and peered up over the wall. His eyes bugging out. The whole of Arlong park was littered with the bodies of his comrades. All were unconscious but all were still breathing. Not easy to tell if mind you unless the breathing involved hacking coughs and pained twitches every few seconds.

"When did? Out here for 10 minutes and...YOU!" Six fingers pointed at Zoro. Eyes full of fire.

"Me." He grinned despite a mouth full of sword.

"YOU!...Do you know who did this?"

A cold wind blew between them. A seagull cawed in the distance.

"...Me." He said finally

"WHAT!" Hachi backed away, his hands all in a warding motion. "Your scary!"

Wado almost slipped out of his mouth before he caught it. Thinking for a second he took a step closer.

"Please don't!" Hatchan said terrified "Lo-look. Your strong right. How how how's ab-about I take you to Cocoyashi? Lot's of pretty human girls! Maybe even beat Arlong and get a big reward?" He grinned pathetically.

Zoro stood with blades outstretched at his 'captive'. The others he'd taken out before they could make a sound, but he'd always had a problem with the beggars. He'd never be able to understand exactly 'how' the most dangerous and hideous blaggards and cut throats on the sea could suddenly put on the cute and innocent act and find himself falling for it. Even that one time when the criminal in question was 75, more scars than wrinkles and pointing a pistol at him.

He re-sheathed his swords "Fine."

He caught Hachi immense look of relief.

He didn't catch that he didn't refer to Arlong as his 'lord'.

* * *

Arlong growled and gnashed the entire way back to base. Four of his subordinates having to keep at his side the entire way to make sure he didn't cost them anymore loot than he already had.

Stopping in front of the gates the shark effortlessly shrugged of his mens grip. Yelled up over the thick iron to demand entrance.

"Were back! Let us in!"

No response.

Not in the mode to ask again, he lifted his leg and kicked it open. The metal crumpled like paper and flung open, swinging around and breaking there hinges doing so.

"I said were back! You better not be eating without me or I'll...I'll...I'llllllllllllllllllllllllllll."

The other stepped through what was the gates. "Lord Arlong we heard you trail of mid sentence in shock. What is is is is is is."

It was at that point that a large octopus jar floated back into the base. Its carrier leaping out of the water and greeting his crew mates which to his confusion were all standing around making 'really' annoying high pitched noises.

"Hey! What are you guys doing?"

They didn't answer.

"Oh charades! I love charades! I'll get it in three guesses!" He put his hand under his chin. "Mmm are you ...no...what about...nah." He scratched his head in frustration "I KNOW! Your a gaggle of babbling idiots!"

"llllllllllllell HELL! THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY PARK! WHY IS HALF MY CREW DEAD!"

Hachan cocked his head to the side in puzzlement and looked down. His foot was standing between a clown fishmans chest and stomach, with nothing but air between the two.

"Huh. Everyone's dead, Imagine that...HOLY *&^%!"

Arlong pushed past him. Grabbing hold of the only piscis sapien who was still in one piece.

"COMRADE SPEAK TO ME!" He flailed his subordinate back and forth.

"Lord Arlong he's dead." The manta man said cautiously.

"NO! NO HE..."

"HE'S DEAD! EVERYONE IS DEAD!"

"IT CAN'T!" He was grabbed by his shirt and brought face to face with the manta.

"HE'S DEAD! EVERYONE IS DEAD! LORD ARLONG EVERYBODY IS DEAD! EVERYBODY IS DEAD LORD ARLONG! DEAD, ARLONG LORD EVERYBODY IS, ARLONG, DEAD, LORD!"

The inventive usage of just four (five words) managed to filter the message into the shark mans brain. Causing him to sink to his knees.

"Who did this? What sort of monsters could just up and kill 20 of us without a single casualty on their side?"

"Actually it was only one guy." Said Hachi off handedly. Drawing looks from his compatriots.

"Hachi. Do you know who did this?"

The octopus nodded "It was that sash guy who we had tied up? I didn't see it but he said he did all this by himself."

The other fishmen began mumbling to themselves. The words "Liar." and "Only human." sprung up several times.

Arlong rose to his feet and used the mere inch he was taller than Hachi to stare down at him. "If you knew it was him then why didn't you stop him?"

"Armed with what? The guy had three swords and took out 20 of us without me hearing a peep. Was I supposed to cast my lines out and hope he'd bite?"

"YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! IT'S A DISGRACE THAT YOU WOULD DO NOTHING WHILE OUR COMRADES WERE BEING SLAUGHTERED!"

"THEY WERE DEAD BEFORE I KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED! I WASN'T ABOUT TO THROUGH MY LIFE AWAY POINTLESSLY! TIGER-SAMA WOULD AGREE WITH ME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY HIS NAME!"

"Lord Arlong. We got him!"

* * *

**(Yeah...no. Look the amount of shtick I get for this story is huge OK. If I continue like this it's gonna be almost word for word like the manga. So I'm gonna skip over everything that wouldn't change, I promise you this won't happen often. As the story progresses the characters will diversify more than just Luffy a logia and Ussop having real weapons. I know some people will be disappointed and feel like I'm being lazy. But I'd rather be lazy than a total plagiarist.**

**Besides is anybody really gonna read fan fiction about a series without checking out the series first?)**

**"Now then" A figure said in the shadows, raising a tattered gloved hand. "Let's see if we can't skip to the good parts."**

* * *

The world went numb and cold for the icy red head. Her vision faded, her ears filled with a deafening hush, her body as unfeeling as rock. She didn't even notice the pain as a knife drove into her arm over and over and over again. Her arm moving on it's on, driving the knife a little deeper into her shoulder with every stab.

'Nothing...'

The tattoo on her arm growing no less visible, only uglier.

'I did nothing...'

Blood pouring in a rivlet while she worked to cleave her arm off as slowly and painfully as possible.

'Bellemerre, all these years...have been for nothing.'

She gripped the knife a little tighter, stabbing down again when a firm but gentle hand stopped her. She looked up, the gray of her minds eye leaving her sight and the rays of the son bathed the hands owner.

Luffy stood over her. Face completely blank, showing none of his famous idiocy or his explosive anger. The expression was all too neutral, and that scared her. True good or true evil was easy too deal with, at least you knew how to deal with. Neutrality was something no one was prepared for, how could you deal with someone who looked like they were about as likely to break your arm and heal it at the same time.

"Luffy..."

She wanted to scream at him. Smash her staff into his indestructible skull and drag him back to his ship. Tear into him and hurt him in the hundreds of ways she knew how to hurt someone without even touching them and guarantee that he'd never want to even remember her name again.

She wanted to do all these things, yet when she tried to lift her other hand to smash him it wouldn't rise, her voice couldn't create a syllable before she sniffed. Instead all that would pass by her lips is one very pitiful, and very overdue word.

"...Help."

For moments the only sound was of the wind whistling and her own sniffling. He wasn't going to help her obviously. Why should he? She was a traitor and he was a pirate. Why would he...

a weight settled on her head.

Opening her eyes she still found her vision shaded, the object on her head protecting her from the sunlight. She reached up to grab it but pulled her fingers away when she felt it's dry straw surface.

'His hat? Why would he...?' Her mind flashed to her first meeting with Luffy. He held onto this thing like it was a part of him, even touching it would guarantee a cruel and brutal demise.

"Hold onto this til we get back." He said politely.

She didn't respond.

Ready guys?" He asked his men who mysteriously appeared next to him in cool show off poses.

"Yeah/Yeah/do I have a choice?" They said mostly as one.

"Good." He tilted his head, making a disgusting cracking noise.

"Lets go fishing."

* * *

***KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK***

A wide mouth sharp toothed fishman was leaning against the wall swilling suds while the rest of his comrades partied when he heard the knocking. He gave the gates a glance and thought nothing of it. Returning to his inebriation.

***KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!***

The knocking grew even stronger, the fishman growled into his mug and snarled over the wall.

"Get lost human. Can't you here us celebrate!"

***KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!***

"&%$*" He pulled up from the wall, stomped to the gate and opened a portal in the middle.

"WHAT DO YOU...!"

***BAM!***

"..." He slowly closed the portal. Turned and walked over to where his crew mates and leader were raking their fingers through a cool hundred million.

"Ord Ahong." He said quietly.

The greedy fishman stopped thumbing a roll of bills next to his ear long enough to answer. " What is it NYAH! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Ehs omeun ah uh ate." And with that the pirate grabbed his jaw, now 7 inches further to the left than it was before and pushed it back in place with a disgusting 'crack', and promptly fainted. By the time anyone realized they should help the sound of metal crumpling like old paper echoed over the park.

The gates were torn of their hinges courtesy of Luffy's fist. Sending them crashing at the fishmen's feet.

The collected Strawhats stood their for a moment. Even the cowardly Ussops even stare sending a shiver up a few spines. Then acting almost as one they slowly walked into the park in a diamond formation with Luffy front and center, Zoro and Sanji at his sides and Ussop with his slingshot drawn back coming up in the back.

Arlong furrowed his eyes and ground his teeth. Not wasting breath on lower life forms he snapped his fingers. Sending Hachi, Kuroobi and Chew charging at them without a second or even first thought.

"Zoro."

Hachi's **'Rokuryu: pieces of 8'** attack was blocked by Zoro. The swordsmen 's single blade managing to divert the course of the heavier blows away from the others while himself dodging.

"Sanji."

Fist met foot directly over Luffy's melon. The fishman wide eyed in shock at the blond matching his power with no more effort than he was exerting.

"Usopp."

…...

"Ussop?"

"LEAVE IT TO ME LUFFY!"

Everyone stopped mid, mid air combat to look in the direction of the echoing voice. With the fleeing form of the sniper getting smaller and smaller with Chew close behind him, an occasional splash of water of mid sized explosion the only proof that it really was a fight.

Luffy turned back and stared dead ahead. Directly into Arlong's beady little eyes.

"You."

Needle nose sneered "Get him."

His men, seeing the quiet rage in the humans eyes stood for but a second. Before leaping at Luffy, rising like a great wave about to come crashing down ion the hapless human.

Too bad for them that Luffy was far from hapless. Without turning his unblinking gaze from the shark man he swept out an black smoking arm. Each and every one of them collapsed to the ground with a dull thud, all groaning and grunting as they were slowly crushed under the weight of their own bodies.

Their leaders eyes bulged at the sight of his men being defeated so easily by...by...a HUMAN!

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!" He didn't wait for an answer before charging the miniscule boy with jaws wide.

***BAM***

Arlong stumbled back until he hit wall. Grabbing his mouth were his razor sharp teeth were how a dentists wet dream.

He pulled his hands away as the pain subsided, silently glaring at the straw hat kid who had yet to let up his own.

"Ou tink did is funny boh?" He gummed. Right before his head was put through the wall by another direct to face punch.

"No more talking." He said evenly, his fist already cocked back again.

"**ROKURYU: TAKOYAKI DICER**!" Six swords blurred and became like 30 swords. Stabbing at the moss haired man who couldn't even hold half normally.

**"Santoryu: Bleed the wolf!"** Zoro's movements became a blur of ballet like motions to which only the holding of his single blood hungry blade saved his masculinity. Every step bringing him closer in between the literal storm of metal.

**Santoryu: Wolf fang**!" He was right next to Hachi when he was able to get a hit in, twisting his head he avoided one last stab right between the eyes and disarmed his opponent all in one move.

"AGGGHHHH MY &*%^ING HAND!"

Literally.

Zoro winced ever so slightly at the sight. He only meant to cut through the nerves, dismemberment wasn't a term he really enjoyed.

"Give up yet?" He asked, disguising what he assumed was pity with forced arrogance.

Hachi bit his lip, and dragged his remaining five swords up. "You think I'm gonna let you get away with this! YAH!" He lunged forward, his arms blurring to become a whirling dervish of blades.

The swordsman sighed before bringing up his own weapon to block the octopus.

* * *

The leg was naturally three times stronger than the arm. This Kuroobi knew. So it would come to no surprise to many that if a punch collided with a kick then then kick would win.

However, this rule did not apply if the punch came from a species that was naturally ten times stronger than the human the kick was delivered by.

Normally.

Both combatants where visibly strained while trying to push the other back in a battle of sheer grit. Manta mans 1000 tile punch struggling to push back the spinning heel kick of Sanji who had bit through his cancer stick .

Suddenly a light bulb went on in Kuroobi's head and he launched his long forgotten other fist at the blonde's unprotected middle.

He grinned when Sanji was forced to jump out of the way. Only to fall into a handstand were he then continued his assault with a series of powerful windmill kicks, Kuroobi caught two but a third one got his right in the ear.

"AGH! Why you little...!" He grabbed Sanji's leg when the fourth kick came around intending to break it, but never got the chance when the blonde used to leverage to smash him in the face with his heel.

Kuroobi backpedaled but still did not let go. Again and again Sanji laid into his opponent with his big black shoes. Until with one particularly strong close range kick both of them were sent backwards and into the parks inlet pool.

Ussop did what he did best. Chu's endless barrage of high impact water pellets may as well have been gently floating bubbles.

* * *

"STAND STILL!" An angry pucker fish screamed.

"WHY DO THEY ALWAYS ASK ME TO DO THAT!" Shouted Ussop wondered very very loudly. Quickly reaching into one of his Lyfeld brand pouches he pulled out a dark red marble and pulled back his slingshot, spinning on his heel he yelled out.

"SURE KILL...!"

*BLAM*

* * *

Zoro grunted in pain while trying to hold off five blades from imbedding themselves in his skull, if it weren't for wado being as fine a sword as it was he'd be shredded like diced pork.

Or takoyaki.

Hachi sneered which looked weird for a guy with a trumpet for a face "I heard the great Roronoa Zoro used three swords. And here I thought I'd get a challenge."

If "Guh. And...here I thought that..octopus had six arms.." He was starting to feel dizzy, the fresh scar along his chest throbbing in pain like it would tear any second.

The oct...pentapus's eyes narrowed. "I'm not just an octopus. I'm a cephalopod."

"Meaning?"

A powerful fist lift him off the ground and crashing through a wall answered his question.

Hachi followed after him, ignoring the crowd of humans that had started forming. He picked up the downed and badly bleeding form of Zoro by the neck with his free hand.

"It means my limbs grow back."

He brought Zoro's face up to his.

"Now..."

* * *

*RRRAAAGGGHHH!"

Bellowing as only a villain can Arlong smashed his way out of his trap and managed to grab hold of Luffy with surprising speed.

**"SHARK DAGGER!"** He pulled Luffy close to him then reeled back his head to deliver the mother of all headbutts, steel strong blade tip nose first.

Luffy was no slouch though, in an instant black smoke billowed off him. Arlong let out an involuntary sound of shock when he saw the sudden eruption and almost dropped him pray. Not that he could even if Luffy didn't want him to.

"YOUR MINE!" He said just as his power went from going straight up to smothering the both of them.

"I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY A PUMAN!" Even as the blackness pulled him in the ex sunny pirate struggled against it IN futility. His arms which had previously been trying to break the boys back felt like they were coated in caramel as did the rest of him.

"I CAN'T BE KILLED LIKE THIS!"

"VANISH INTO ENDLESS DARKNESS YOU CREEP!"

***SPLASH!***

* * *

Sanji found himself in a hopelessly similar situation. The arms of manta man around him and plunging at the rock bottom of the seabed like a rocket. His legs powerful enough to crush stone only able to hit his enemy with all the strength of a child having a tantrum.

"Humans get slower in water remember?" Kuroobi grinned sadistically before letting go. "And Fishmen only get stronger!"

The split second between being released and the rough landing Sanji used his full intellect to wonder how it was that he'd been able to hear the fishman so clearly under water.

***BA-KOOM***

The blade armed fishman grinned wickedly at the ocean floor splitting apart like old chip board. Sediment and all the filth laying on the bed kicking up everywhere.

"HA! I'd like to see your soft human head take hitting solid bedrock!"

"GLUB!"

Something shoot out of the dirt cloud like a speeding bullet, striking Kuroobi directly in the stomach and knocking him backwards. Unfiltered water suddenly rushed into his lungs through his gills and he began gasping for air (1) As he doubled over he himself was sent to the floor bed by an overhead axe kick.

'Zeff always did say the only thing harder than his kicks was my head...but like hell I'll admit he was right.'

Sanji gave pause for just a second to admire his handiwork before making his way to the surface for precious air. He was 10 feet from the surface and only just starting to feel his insides burn when something broke the surface.

* * *

Ussop was in a world of pain. His mouth was a mangled mess, his nose was bent out of shape and his brains felt like scrambled egg, his entire body was covered in cuts and bruises and he had just been hit dead on by a bullet made of pure water.

It was only the shoulder. It would have been worse if Chu hadn't suddenly started sporting a similar wound in his stomach.

"You OK kid?" Gin asked, he and the rest of the nameless grunts of Luffy's crew coming out from behind the dense woodland.

"AGHH! GET AWAY!" Ussop tried backpedaling until the pain in his arms caused them to collapse under him.

"Woah easy easy. I'm one of you now." The grim looking pirate said in as comforting a manner as he could.

"You think I can't tell when someones lying! I'M THE KING OF LYING!" He pulled back his slingshot and released it at his unknown ship mate. Gin dodged quick to the left and rush him, grabbing the toy and tossing it to the side.

The fact that the man did not immediately follow up with killing him actually did do something to sooth Ussop's worry.

"Believe me now kid?"

"No." He stood up, picking up his weapon. "But I'll buy that your not wanting to pick a fight with us."

"Good. Now we better get to were the fight is b..."

***PTOOEY***

Gin's was lifted a good few feet off the ground by a sphere of water passing directly through his chest. Ussop's jaw hung limply and a tiny yelp escaped his throat.

"Y-you think I could b-be done in that easily." The big lipped fishman huffed, holding his wound.

"R-run." Gin gasped out. Though he didn't need to waste the energy since Ussop had vanished before mega mouth said his first un-stuttered word.

"Oh you little F..."

"Whoops. Sorry bout that." A pair of arms pulled him up and over a painfully boney shoulder before taking off at break neck speed.

* * *

The inky blackness evaporated as soon as Luffy hit the water. Bringing him face to face with Arlong's grinning mug which only widened as Luffy's cheeks puffed up in a vain attempt to keep the air in his lungs.

"You know I think that our species hate one another so much because we lack the ability to sympathize which each other." He monologue. "I can't understand how you FEEL!" He suddenly tightened his grip causing the young captain to open his mouth, letting the the salt water to rush in "I can't describe what it's like to have the salt water sting your eyes, or have the waters take life rather than give it." His tone grew more and more jovial the less Luffy struggled. "It's a pity that we can't truly understand each other. But know what?"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!" With that bellow he squeezed hard on his opponents midsection until he heard a loud 'Crack' and the last bubbles escaped his mouth.

"I'm glad I can't sympathize with you. Or else I might feel guilty for everything I've done." He said...somehow since I now realize he's talking underwater and let the boy go, letting him sink ever so slowly to the bottom, watching until he had almost his rock bottom.

'Now for that traitor bitch.' With a sudden surge he shot back up to the surface, not noticing the boys decent had stopped.

Sanji, against his survival instinct and the increasing pressure in his chest swam back down to Luffy just as Arlong let his go. Immediately grabbing hold of him and flying up to the surface.

Arlong broke the surface of the water with a tremendous splash. Landing on his feet and letting the water drip down him.

"A human with the power of the devil drowns like any other."

"An bleeds. Don't forget bleeds." Hachi's cheerful voice echoed, the crowd of gathered humans at the park gates parted to make way for the octoman, carrying a crimson soaked swordsman on his upper left shoulder.

"Kinda sad really. Already had big whopping scars that ain't even healed yet. Didn't put up much more after whatever was holding them burst." He said in mock sadness before dumping the teen at Arlong's feet without as much as a groan.

"And Chu?"

"Last I saw I mean heard he was still chasing down that bone bag with the slingshot."

The captains eyes narrowed slightly.

"Hey if you recruited the guy who actually aimed instead of the one who just spat like a madman then this wouldn't be a problem."

The shark man mumbled something and kicked the human with his foot, lightly so his blood didn't touch him and was only somewhat disappointed when he didn't get a response.

He looked up at the gate towards a gaggle of gathered humans. Men and women and children who had gathered in what he could only guess was to watch him fall. Horrified features marred their faces and spoke of a previous slim hope. He knew a lot about false hope both receiving, giving and taking it away.

"How many times do we have to go over this." He said, slowly stepping forward, grimacing when they did not step equally back. "You are genetic backwash! Evolutionary dead ends with an over inflated sense of entitlement. You exist solely to serve your superiors! You exist to serve ME!"

He heard the scraping of metal, the click of a gun.

"Hee hee hee you ungrateful swine. I let you live, I gave you a chance and you repay me with discord..."

He leaned his head to the side. For some reason the cracking sound echoed from his jaw rather than his neck.

"...This would be the part were I say you only have yourselves to blame for this. But really all you did was make me do this SOONER!"

He kicked off the ground at the crowd. Johnny and Yosaku held their swords steady and braved themselves.

They needn't have...done anything really...what do they do again?

Arlong was pulled out of the air by a tug on his ankle and slammed back into the stone tiling. He grunted loudly and with a twist pulled his nose which had pierced through the slab like tissue out with a sound like a drawing sword. He didn't have time to get up completely when he was pulled back again and this time met with the wall. Disorientated Arlong never saw when a fist smacked him right between the eyes, then another, and another and another and yet another. His vision became a blur of curled up digits. He was then grabbed up his arms and brought forward were he met a very hard head which struck him hard enough to dig his own battered face into the ground.

"YOU...HUMAN...WRETCH!" He tore himself out in a fury and grabbed Zoro by the arms just as he went for his swords. The shark man snarled and slapped his hand on the minty haired boys chest.

What sounded like a depth charge going off rang out and Zoro was sent through one of the main buildings supports as though it was old timber. The poorly closed scar across his chest sprung back open and blood poured down his soaking chest. Arlong marched deliberately over to him, water dripping from his fingers in what was supposed to be a threatening manner.

"All I need is a drop of water to kill a little thing like you. No human touches me and lives."

Zoro. Despite the blood loose, head trauma, broken bones and other assorted maladies actually managed a smile with what part of his face he could control.

* * *

Meanwhile in a place far enough to really annoy you.

The trees were his friends. For as long as Ussop had been chased he had learned all the tricks of the trade when it came to the sublime art of cowardice. He mastered every terrified trick, every yellow bellied con, he could turn the most obvious things into undetectable hiding spots, perform acrobatic miracles as long it was with the pure intent of saving his life. He could think up a dozen escape routes in the time anyone else would take to start thinking up one, and knew the best ways to put everything between him and his pursuers without stopping to do it. The use of the forest was just one of the many ways in which he could gleefully avoid harm.

Chu's water bullets splashed against the trees. Not harmlessly either, trunks splintered under the blasts of ultra high velocity liquid the same way they would a zero range blast from a rifle.

He ran deeper and deeper into the woods, hiding behind a particularly thick tree while water shots still whizzed overhead, he slid Gin of his shoulders and against the tree.

"Where?" The martial artist wheezed, clutching his oozing wound.

"Woods." Ussop answered as bluntly. Jumping a little when one shot scraped some bark away.

"Can't keep hiding." Gin muttered, clutching his bleeding wound.

"I was never planning to." He loaded up his slingshot and pulled it tight. "I noticed that needle faces chest getting smaller and smaller each time he shot at us. He's probably isn't making the water himself, so I just have to wait til he needs to fill back up and he's mine."

So wait he did, not an easy task when it's waiting under fire. While the world on either side of them was smashed and splintered under the heavy barrage Ussop stayed firmly in place, even when the tree he was hiding behind began to give way, even when one shot whizzed so close to his ear that it shaved the skin from his lobe and cheek. He held firm and waited, too stubborn to run and to scared to flee. While both men had different attitudes towards the situation, neither would back down even if another opportunity presented themselves. They kept their concentration on the jets of h2o whizzing past them until the machine gun like barrage stopped.

"NOW!"

Both men dashed out from whether side of the tree, Ussop drew back his slingshot while Gin cocked a flintlock and charged wildly ahead, bellowing loud enough to drown out the tiny voices in their head that said this was a really stupid idea.

They charged out of the woods, jumping out of the treeline and...stopped.

"Where'd he go?" Ussop asked. Relieved if a little indignant, why is it when he was brave no one could see him?

"Kid. I think we better take cover back in the woods." Said Gin, cartwheeling backwards much to his crew mates confusion.

"Why? That needle nose can't still be around here right? Not after he ran off from our awesome war cry!" His delusions of grandeur were already going to work.

"First rule of pirating kid. Fishmen don't just abandon sources of water." He started backstopping, his eyes firmly locked on the nearby lake. Ussop followed his gaze and noticed a whirlpool rapidly forming.

"You...don;t think that...?"

Gin had already started running for cover again.

Before even he could join him the whirling stopped and something burst out of the water. Rising high enough to tower over Ussop and block out the light.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!"

The fishman had swollen up like a balloon, his chest was almost cartoonishly blown up, his face was just visible over the water filled torso, his checks red and straining to hold back a literal flood.

"Lets see ya dodge this you twiggy freak!"

Oddly enough Ussops last thought before a raging river overtook him was not terror, rather it was 'Now if he had a puppet while he talked like that I'd be really impressed.'

* * *

Now what you may be asking by now is 'Where the hell is Luffy?'. It's a fairly good question, I mean I can't just switch between Zoro and Ussop without eventually going back to the star of the series now can I.

Well the thing is there is a...complication with Luffy at the moment that Sanji is having difficulty resolving. He was still unconscious after his little swim and had swallowed a lot of sea water. Which since no one else was brave enough right now to come inside the park meant the woman loving Sanji has to

"Nami, Nami this is Nami, I'm about to kiss Nami! My lips are the lips that will breath life back into her moist full rubbeTHIS ISN'T WORKING!"

He had done this before. Living on a boat Zeff had insisted that everyone know mouth to mouth and let it be known that it was 'not' kissing but saving anothers life.

He'd been a little uncomfortable but had persisted by picturing hot women. Right up until Patty had went overboard and Sanji had been the only one able to save him. He shuddered at the memory, the lips, the giant elephantine lips!

Sanji knew he 'had' to do this. He was the only one who could save his captain at the moment. He 'had' to do this.

Gulping he screwed his eyes shut took a deep breath and [[This paragraph has been deleted for strong sexual imagry that springs up in the mind of adolescent females when more than one male character appears with another for any period longer than three seconds in an anime.]]

"PTOOEY!"

The blonde chef's (not as good looking as he thinks it is) face was nearly shaved clean off when a blast of water shot out of Luffy's powerful lungs and into the air like a fountain.

He gagged and sputtered for a second more then leapt to his feet apparently no worse for wear despite near death.

"ALRIGHT I'M ALIVE!" He cheered "But why does my mouth taste like tar and old socks?"

NEVERMIND THAT!" The cook yelled, eager to change the subject. "Arlong was walking through the other last I checked. We need to get back to the fight quick!"

His captain smirked and grabbed his shoulder. "Fast! Got it!"

"Hey what are yoUUUUUUU!

* * *

Arlong's grip almost crushed Zoro's face at the sight of the smile.

"Whats so amusing human?"

His answer was his back erupting in pain, forcing him to drop his captive. He clutched the areas that felt like it was hit by a jackhammer and falling to his knees. He turned sharply only to be belted between the eyes.

"And that was for all the weird look whenever I make Takoyaki!"

What few fishmen remained paralyzed at the sight of their swordsman/ cook pummeling their leader. "HACHI! What do you think your doing!"

Hachi would have cracked his knuckles if he had any to begin with. "Beating on an idiot."

"HE'S OUR LEADER! YOUR COMRADE! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING!"

Hachi shook his head. "Not when guys like you and him are making it impossible for other decent fishmen." He punctuated each word with another vicious blow "Tiger-sama hated humans, but he didn't go 'looking' for a fight! He didn't kill his enemies unless he had to AND NEVER JUST BECAUSE HE COULD!"

He joined his six fists into three hammers and brought them crashing down one on top of the other

**"SIX FOLD OCTO HAMMER!"**

The first blow crashed down on his head, the second set of fists slammed down on the first one driving his skull down further, and as the forth one came down the leader of the fishmen pirates was driven into the concrete floor up to his abused neck with a spectacular crunch sound effect.

"I went with you to try and keep you from rampaging. But I'm sick of dealing with a grown man acting like a child having a temper tantrum. If I have to beat you into the ground and drag you back to fishman Island by your nUH!" His over rightous and completely out of character speech was cut of by a serrated nose tip.

"My nuh? Whats a nuh?" He punctuated his taunting words with a crack of his neck, twisting his pointy conk inches from Hachi's heart. Without even a grunt of effort he raised his head with the pink fishman still attacked and with casual ease flicked him off where he crashed into the wall leaving a sizable crack.

"Not surprised really. You never kept quiet about those humans you were friends with...still." He flicked his hand in the traitors direction. A droplet of water flew from his fingers with the force of a bullet and hit Hachi right in the chest. The octopus jumped slightly from the force and feel still.

"Now where were we." He looked over at his initial victim who only now was staggering to his feet.

Zoro wiped the blood from his eyes and took whatever stance he could, before taking another after realizing he didn't have any swords. "*KOFF* I was about to kick *HACK* your ass."

Arlong guffawed "Half dead and barely able to stand? What are you gonna do human? bleed on me?"

Whatever witty, or far 'far' more likely stupid thing the sword less swordsmen was about to say was interrupted by a black missile sailing past him via a large hole in the compound wall.

Arlong managed to dodge by a hairs breadth letting it land with all the grace of a cat against what little remained of the parks wall and dropped to the ground, however he had already done his job as the few seconds Arlong was off balance was one more than was needed for Luffy to come up behind his blonde projectile and deck Arlong between the eyes. Sending him careening into the drink.

"Well that was easy." Luffy said grinning from ear to ear. Not noticing everyone who still just barely conscious glaring holes through him.

Zoro, collapsed with his head directed over the pool was the only one to notice Arlongs sinking bubbles suddenly stop, which lasted but a few seconds before the eponymous fishman exploded out of the water as a more effective speeding torpedo than Sanji ever could be.

Luffy was fortunate enough to only be struck by Arlongs speeding clothesline rather than his bladed appendage, he was slammed backwards with his hand smacking into the stone slabs which seemed extremely popular today for some reason. The fish missile continued forward as though he hadn't hit anything and disappeared into his beloved base with a loud crash through the wall, only to appear a few seconds later aiming once more at Luffy who had jumped to his feet.

The boy was once again knocked to the floor, but not without leaving a large gash on his upper arm and yet again vanishing into the water.

The onlookers watch in horror as the captain was, to their eyes being knocked around like a rag doll by a Grey and yellow blur, and utterly helpless to stop it.

* * *

Water tore through through the trees ironically enough like it would wet tissue paper, all the cute woodland creatures not smart enough to scurry away from the fight were crushed under the explosive wave from the impact of the hydro cannonball, decimating everything in Chus line of site until all that was left was a soaked and splintered clearing.

His body shrank back to it's normal size while he surveyed his handiwork. Not smirking like his captain, the shark that he was tended to do but viewed the disaster area carefully for any sign of life.

"No way the sicko and the sticko survived that." He faced the way he had came "Better head back to the park in case they need me." He smiled a little at something that wasn't really that funny.

A rustle in the debree. He turned on his heel and started spitting again, a veritable machine gun volley of water drops slammed into the spot where he heard the noise, turning the remains of the wood into soggy pulp.

He grinned in an embarrassed manner "Guess it was nothing."

***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANG*** ***BANGANFANGANGANG***

***FWOOSH***

He didn't even have time to scream.

From out of the woodwork they sprouted. The nameless crewmen that Luffy had forcibly recruited from Krieg, flintlocks smoking. Ussop tugged an almost dead Gin out of the wreckage, his slingshot in hand and Gin one bottle poorer.

"I can't believe he fell for the old 'What was that' throw a rock trick." He muttered.

"I can't believe you threw away my whiskey." Gin growled as fiercely as he could, which wasn't very well as the moment.

"I can't believe were actually part of the plot." Said one faceless pirates.

"Believe it men!" Cheered the sniper, dropping Gin to the ground while he pumped his fists in the air. "Together we have done what others can only dream of! We have slain a FISHMAN!"

"AYE!" The men cheered. Ussop stood on gins downed skull, ignoring the muttering beneath his feet he continued. "Let it be known that together there is nothing that we, the strawhat pirates can accomplish! Let this be the start of our legend! We shall find one piece! WE SHALL BE THE RULERS OF THE SEA!"

"AAYYEEE!"

He stomped down once more. "And now my brave warriors! As the future masters of all we survey let us go forth and continue to go past the impossible! LETS TAKE DOWN THE MOST FEARED ONE OF THIS BLUE! TODAY SAW TOOTH ARLONG IS FINISHED AT THE HANDS OF USSOP THE GREAT AND HIS MIGHTY PIRATE WARRIORS!"

"USSOP! USSOP! USSOP! USSOP!" Without any surprise or protest a particularly burly man lifted the teen onto his soldiers while the others rallied around his. Rushing back to Arlong park to face what they knew to be a nigh impossible task.

Gin just continued muttering into the dirt. Wondering how far the captain would let him go without killing that yellow streaked dead man.

Luffy quite literally did not know his left from his right, being pushed this way and that way by a blindingly painful force. He tried calling up his powers for aid but just as he was about to let loose with an explosion of inky darkness Arlong slammed into him again and bounced his brain around until he didn't know A from B.

"How am I su...AGH...can I...GEH...COMEON...PHT! I COULD REALLY USE A FLASHBACK RIGHT NOW!"

* * *

====== As you wish====

"GOD DAMMIT BOY YOUR SUPPOSED TO DODGE!" A gruff and angry voice owned by a gruff and angry old man boomed out.

The boy receiving the yelling was crouching in the middle of a clearing, shaking like a leaf with his hands over his head. The ground around him and cliff face behind him were covered in crater marks, inside of which where the remains of what used to be baseballs.

"I SAID MOVE IT!" The bearded psycho shouted before flicking another baseball at the kid with his thumb, a crack went of like a pistol at the ball hurtled at the boy where it cracked the ground next to him making him jump from shock.

"Good! Now just keep doing that and you'll be fine!"

"THATS EASY FOR YOU TO SAY OLD MAN! YOUR GRAMPA ISN'T TRYING TA KILL YA!"

"WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT ME BRAT?" He tossed another ball. This one grazing against the side of Luffy's face fast enough to leave a bloody mark before smashing against the cliff face.

"YEOW!" He howled and grabbed at his cheek. "Whats the point of all this?"

"Reflex training!" He yelled in a more passive voice seeing his grandson genuinely in pain. "That blasted defective logia has lowered your pain tolerance, and I don't know if I can train up something done by one of those stupid things! So instead were build on your ability to dodge." He flipped another ball into the air. "Out on the grand line you find plenty a hotshots who can easily trump that molasses a yours. So if someone like you wants to survive you need split second reaction time and an instinct like you can see the future. Or else..."

***WHAM***

Luffy was flat on his back out like a light, his mouth full of gaps.

"...that...maybe I should stop hitting my grand kid in the head so much? Nah whats the worst that could happen?"

He crouched down and stared at his grandson for a second, before picking up a stick and proceeding to jab him in the face.

===end flashback===

* * *

OK...baring the nightmares about baseball he had for months after that the old man did manage to teach him what he set out to. Blocking out everything else Luffy focused on his attacker. Unlike Garp who kept Luffy guessing where the attack was coming from Arlong was practically dancing, going through the same steps over and over.

Now all he had to do was catch the speeding fish monster by his face without getting his arm chomped off.

Easy.

He screwed his eyes shut and relaxed as best he could, looking for the pattern anything that goes on long enough slips into. Waiting for the right moment.

Left, right, right, left, left...leeeft...rig'that stings!'ht...right...NOW!"

Luffy's hand lashed out.

Arlong darted forward.

"FFFFUUUCCCKKK!"

Oh Right through the palm.

"Leggo you brat!" Arlong reaching out at the boy pinned to his face, right before the boys other hand came into play.

"ECLIPSE PUNCH!"

A dozen times the boys already inhuman strength smacked Arlong right in the forehead, he went flying back into his lair followed by a red and blue blur.

Luffy did not let his prey go, he clung to Arlong like a limpet, holding him by a breaking shoulder and continued pounding his blackened knuckles into his face over and over. Plouging through walls and floors like plywood and eventually stopping in a room on the top floor filled to the brim with paper.

"GET OFF!" The morgana mustered the strength to toss Luffy off sending him into an old cupboard.

The boy staggered a little but manage to pull himself from the broken wood. He glared at the taller man, matching his stare at least until he took notice of the room around him. Charts and graphs covered almost every inch of the floor, a map of every blue was pinned to each wall and over a dozen stacks of paper still towered from the floor and pressed firmly against the ceiling even after they burst in.

He looked over the room methodically, connecting the dots far quicker than most gave him credit for.

"Nami's room." He stated.

Arlong coughed and smiled with red stained teeth. "Like it? I spared no expense to make my most valued subordinate comfortable."

Luffy's eyes flitted to the ornate hand carved desk. An inkwell and quill laying across a half finished map, the wood stained red and black.

"So I had her draw a few...thousand maps. Living like this doesn't come cheap, and to join my crew, a human at such a young age...I never heard her say no." He grinned.

The boy fell to his ass, eyes lifeless.

"Oh don't give me that. You think I don't know whats going to happen next." He said while edging to the right. "Your gonna just sit there while I monologue, getting madder and madder until I attack, you block me with that freak muscle of yours and beat me into a pulp. I read enough comics growing up to recognize the scene I'm in. Which Is why..."

He smashed his fist smashed through the wall then almost immediately retracted it, the rest of the wall caved inwards when a massive steel implement slashed through it and right at Luffy.

The boy caught the blade effortlessly, the naturally inhuman strength of Arlong not moving the weapon an inch more. Arlong instead of his usual reaction smirked and twisted the handle of his giant saw, it popped right off and Luffy was suddenly staring down a barrel.

"I'm gonna cheat."

***BANG***

A tendril of ink only as wide as the bullet reached up must inches fro Luffy's face and absorbed the bullet without him even attempting to look up at him.

He did however reverse the direction the saw was facing and slashed at Arlong with the broken blade catching the fishman on a jagged edge and pinning him to the wall by the neck.

"I can't get mad at you for having Nami draw all these I can't make heads or tails of maps to save my life, so I can't really put money on how valuable these all are..."

The edge pushed tighter against his neck, red dots starting to trickle.

"I can't hate you for treating humans like this either. I heard how people treat you guys. My Gramps has a bigger mouth than me..."

Arlong pushed vainly against the weapon digging into his gullet.

"But one thing I can get mad at. You. Made. Nami. Cry."

Just as he gained an inch in ground the needle nose great white was pulled forward by his chin to the center of the room, a hand curling around his throat.

"No one makes my NAVIGATOR CRY! IF THESE MAPS ARE SO IMPORTANT YOU THEN TAKE THEM TO HELL WITH YOU!"

"BLACK HOLE!"

* * *

There was no oozing darkness. No inky blackness bursting out of the windows and pouring down the building in a great flood, until it covered every inch of the structure were the black outline would grow smaller until only an angry Luffy and an ugly Hawaiian shirt stained in blood remained.

Arlong Park imploded. The mansion/ castle/ fortress was pulled into itself with great force. Bricks and mortar that were already crushed to dust were pulverized right down to the basic atomic elements and pulled into a silent vacuum that drew in matter and energy alike.

Everyone present from humans to what few remaining fishmen to whatever the hell Ussop was gaped at the most absolute destruction anyone dare ever say they've seen. Nothing was spared, forget no stone standing on the other, within a mere minute there was 'nothing' in that space. The entire structure and the space twenty feet around it had vanished into a hole that looked at though someone had poked a whole in the sky (21).

***BOOM***

They were knocked off their feet by a sudden collapse of air into the zero matter zone the black hole had created. Rising to their feet in time to see the tear in reality distend, darkness bulging forth from it until it lowered to the ground like an ink loogie. The closed over a second later and merged with the trail of darkness that dissipated a second later. Revealing Luffy with his hat covering his eyes. Saw tooth Arlong at his feet looking like he'd been put through a rusty blender.

With a heave a tossed the once mighty terror of the east up out of the hole and right at Nami's feet. The girl stared at her tormentor with wide unbelieving eyes. The rolled back expressionless was nothing like the sneer of superiority she had grown up with. His strong arms which could lift buildings were bent at unnatural angels and the nose he had boasted as being stronger than a diamond was snapped clean in two.

She brought her hands up to her mouth, not wanting others to hear her stutter and stammer like an idiot. Tears swelling up in her eyes with only Luffy's hat hiding them.

"NAMI!"

She looked up. The dark dark man leaping out of the empty hole and looking right at her. Finger pointed right between her eyes while his own were filled with nothing short of absolute resolve.

"WERE CREWMATES FOREVER!"

Fat drops rolled down her cheeks and she nodded, it was all she could do since she had her willpower on overdrive to keep anything other than tears escaping her face than actual relief.

The spectators watching, human and fishman alike stared at the scene for a few moments before their mind caught up with what their eyes had seen. Humans let out long overdue cheers of happiness and grabbed each other to join in spontaneous dace while the fishmen who were more active in their membership of Arlongs crew dragged themselves to the water and plunged in. Their inherit abilities kicking in almost instantly and they made a b line for anywhere but there.

"Got it!" She said rubbing her eyes. Grabbing the straw hat off her head and tossing it like a frizbee into Luffys waiting hand.

"NOW LISTEN UP YOU FREAKY FISH GUYS!"

"Not a freaky fish guy!" Everyone present looked around trying to see where the voice had come from to no avail.

"You guys are finished! Arlongs done, and this island is under my crews protection! GOT THAT!"

The few that were conscious nodded vigorously.

"Now you've got two choices! You can either drag yourselves back to wherever you came from!"

"Or come with us?" Ussop suggested.

"OR COME WITH..." Everyone stared at the long nosed youth, glaring at spoiling such an epically dramatic moment.

"What? It was obvious he was gonna ask that." He defended weakly.

"...so...OR COME WITH US!" He yelled with his arms pumped in the air.

The fishmen who were alive and conscious. The barely breathing, the broken, the cowardly and the traitor looked around. The power they had here was gone as was there leader. If they wanted to survive with their infamy they'd have to make a b-line back to fishman island swimming all the way, which they'd be lucky to survive with this few a number and bleeding.

It was really just a phantom choice.

"I'm in." Hachi said, his six arms crossed over his chest and waist.

"Uh huh." A karate manta man mumbled, a lump the size of a basketball growing from his skull.

One by one the rest of the fishman nodded. A few more attempted to flee and no one stopped them, it was their choice after all, but even without them Luffy's crew had grown by another 12 men.

"Geez Luffy. You keep recruiting everyone we beat up we'll have a fleet ten times bigger than Kreig before we get ta the line."

Luffy's mouth once more became half teeth. "Thats the idea."

"THATS A CONFESSION IF I'VE EVER HEARD ONE!"

A dozen guns were heard being cocked unnecessarily and citizens were shoved rather rudely out of the way to make room for the last minute heros known as the marines.

The man in the lead was not what you would expect for what his uniform conveyed his rank being. Two heads shorter than the men behind him, beady eyes, kind of scrawny in the muscle department, wearing an animal ear hood that a 5 year old would say they were too old for. This guy looked less like a marine and more like the cover model for 'Mustache twirling villains monthly'...which he never would have made since he only had a soul patch and six long hairs springing from his face jutting out like whiskers.

"Nezumi." Nami growled, tightening the grip on her staff. Too which the marine was ignorant of as he marched up to the pirates with the entirety of his squads guns pointed at them.

"Well well well." He said in a voice like Severus Snape if his balls never dropped. "I leave the island for a meeting back in Marineford for a short while and what do I find? PIRACY!"

"You knew about Arlong!" Nami growled.

"Arlong? KEHEHE! Idiot child what would a member of the infamous sunny pirates be doing in this backwater place? The only pirates I see here is you. Well you and the innocent fishmen your forcing into a pirate fleet you just admitted to making!" He pointed a finger at Luffy in what on anyone else, 'anyone else' would have been somewhat threatening.

"DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!" She growled, marching up to him and lifting the rat by his lapels much to the shock of the marines who thought to train there weapons on the only one who looks even moderately threatening, by which I mean Ussop.

"For ten years you let Arlong do as he pleased as long as you could line your pockets. You let my mother, a fellow marine get killed! You let Arlong treat us like slaves! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE DEAD BECAUSE YOU WANTED MONEY MORE THAN JUSTICE!"

"PUT HIM DOWN NOW!" Commanded the marines who had swung their weapons to face Nami...

***WHACK*** ***BAM* *VARIOUS SOUNDS OF BLUNT TRAUMA***

**...**And almost immediately got taken down by the dangerous looking men they never should have taken their weapons off of to point at a girl with a stick.

Nezumi rather immediately lost his cocky grin which he'd held even as the girl threatened him.

"W-WAIT!" He cried as everyone and their grandma (especially their Grandma! Old lady keeps a sword in that cane) advanced with murderous intent on the poor bastard. "If you let me go I'll forget this whole incident! I'll send people to fix the island! I can keep you off the wanted board! I'LL DO ANYTHING JU-"

"HOLD IT!"

Surprisingly that had come from Luffy. He walked calmly up to where Nami was holding up Nezumi and swiftly pulled him from her grip. Holding him with his own superior strength at arms length he looked dead into the rat eyes.

The man grinned nervously. "W-what are you going to do? Kill me and the navy will come looking. Beat me and let me go and I'll point them right at you! LET ME GO AND I'LL SPARE YOUR MISSERABLE..."

***VORP***

Blackness swallowed him.

The boy who had essentially just eaten a man alive looked to his navigator who had become less tanned in the intervening seconds. "Which way is the nearest marine base?"

She shook her head a little and with only a few seconds of thought pointed in the exact direction she knew a marine base would be.

He turned in that direction and hunched over, the darkness forming over his head again.

"YAMI YAMI..."

"WAIT YOU NEED THE..."

"CANNON!"

Two masses were fired out of the blackness like rockets, speeding into the distance until they were twinkles in the skyline.

He brushed his hands in satisfaction "There now when he lands near a marine base that rat 'has' to arrest Arlong, if he doesn't want to raise questions."

"And when he eventually hits something going at breakneck speeds turning him into jelly." Said Nami, a twitch in her eyes.

"Oh in that case the death of a marine might be looked into tracing it back to...aw nuts."

***GANK***

* * *

"...And that's all I know." Gasped out the Fishman, on his knees sitting in freshly splattered marine as he felt the infinite pressure being exerted on his skull by the gentle fingers. Although Luffy can't be blamed since his crash landing merely resulted in horrible bruising and only half his skeleton in breaks.

"...How did you know about the stuff you weren't around for?" His inquisitor asked.

He shrugged as best he could with dislocated shoulders.

"And your sure that's all you know?"He said slowly. Arlong felt a spike of ice replace his spine far colder than even the most frigid waters of the grand line, but could not help but say "yes."

"Hmm. Very Well. Leon if you would."

The faintest of sounds, like cracking ice and suddenly the terror which had haunted a little red haired girls nightmares for a decade went limp. The hand holding his oval shaped skull released him to fall back into the waters from which he was born, the Denden mushi in the executioners other hand making tutting sounds.

"I had hoped to gleen more from someone who knew the girl so 'intimently' but I suppose having his head in the vice may have hindered his cognitive ability." The snail looked at the man holding it.

Long red hair flowed to his waist with the back done in a top knot from which hair still cascaded down. A long dark red open jacket was ill fitted over the boy rather scrawny physique which was hidden under several layers of heavy dull green undershirts. His black pants were equally and ill fitting and clearly filled with padding which managed to match his kung fu slippers. A kiseru rolled between his teeth puffing out sweet smelling smoke which he inhaled lazily in slow tired breaths. His brown eyes half closed and barely registering any words with more than 1 syllable which the one on the other end of the transponder snail seemed to like so much.

"Ce la vie and all that I suppose. Saw Tooth Arlong is hardly an important factor in the grand scheme of all this I suppose. We'll just have to try harder for next time. Right."

"Mmm."

"Very well then just keep the channel open and waAAGHHH!" The snails eyes bugged out before the stocks flopped into the mans palm.

"...ewww."

* * *

A middle aged man in a dull brown trenchcoat held his head in his hand while his elbow rested against the table of the bar he was in, fingers drumming tiredly against the wood. A knife buried deep enough into his back to poke a hole through the front of his shirt. The bandit who it belonged to grinning insanely.

His victim looked at him bored as blood dripped down the sword and from his mouth.

"I'd sincerely wish you'd stop d-*THUD*" His head hit the table. Blood pooling on it and spilling onto the floor.

* * *

End chapter 8

* * *

OK time to get the excuses out of the way.

I'm going to a college that is not right around the corner like my last one. The commute to and from is almost as long as the classes.

Joined a new club.

Still in old ones

And a host of other things I really don't have to explain but trust me are relevant.

Long story short I'm sorry. I can't promise and faster an update for any of my stories, but what I can promise is that I'm starting to diversify this fic from canon. Yeah I cut off major parts of the canon story but as I always say 'don't read fan fiction if you've never seen the source material' I just wanted to get through it so I could move onto the next chapter and only cut out bits and pieces that could be altered from canon the least.

I've also started to introduce some original characters. Kind of cliche in description I know but it's only the introduction. More will be introduced and they will be fleshed out.

(1) For those that don't know a fish will drown just like any other creature if it pulled back in water.

(2) Like a garganta from Bleach, except instead of a tear think of someone poking into paper with a pen until it tore through.

Until next time this is Wolvenstrom wishing you good life, good luck and may your flames be to weak to light a cigarette.


	9. Chapter 9

**this is something you need to hear**

**A message from dracohalo117 and Leaf Ranger...SOPA is back, that is right people, the bill that is threatening to take away our freedoms on the internet and beyond is BACK, and not only is it back, but it is trying to be passed quietly so nobody notices, SOPA will guarantee that anybody who streams a video, whether it be on youtube, a walkthrough for avideo game, or a kid singing a song that is 'copyrighted' they will be treated as a felon, that is right, a FELON, do you understand me? YOU will be treated like the highest form of criminal for uploading a video game walkthrough on youtube, for singing a song on karaoke, hell, you could be arrested and treated as a felon for posting a screenshot...**

**Now, why am I telling you this? Because this is only just the beginning, how long until****Fanfiction****is being attacked, how long until a fanfiction writer is being carted off to a maximum state prison for writing a character from Naruto into their fanfic, or a character from Bleach, or a character fro Sekirei or Seikon no Qwaser, Highschool DxD,Trinity Blood, Witchblade, how long until THAT crap is happening? I assure you that if this passes, it will not be long, oh no, it will not be long at all, because once this passes, then ANYTHING goes, Fanfiction will be attacked for using canon characters in a fanon manner, authors will be arrested for writing a book whose main character has glasses, just like in another series, artists will be arrested and confined for using sapphire blue in the iris of one of their characters like another author. We CANNOT let this happen!**

**Don't believe us? Look at the links below, remove the spaces, see for yourself, and please, PLEASE spread the word and fight this assault on our freedoms, because this isn't just going to affect americans, oh no, it will affect EVERYBODY across the globe!**

**: / www . huffingtonpost 2013/08/07/unauthorized-streaming-****felony****_n_3720479 . html**

**: / www . washingtonpost blogs/the-switch/wp/2013/08/05/sopa-died-in-2012-b ut-obama-administration-wants-to-revive-part-of-it /**

**: / www . techdirt articles/20130805/12472124074/administration-cant- let-go-wants-to-bring-back-felony-streaming-provis ions-sopa . shtml**

**and the video which caused us to find out about this horrible thing...remove the spaces, and spread the word...**

**: / www . youtube watch?v=1fTt4K4Cae4**

**Take care and spread the word, or we will lose out freedoms to express ourselves on the Internet! Repost it on your stories, forums, blogs, anywhere! JUST MAKE IT KNOW! WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!**

**Pass this message on! DO your part and help protect the freedom of the internet!**


End file.
